Later, as we were falling asleep, I asked him if he could take me to a yarn store the next day.

"Of course. What are you planning to make?" He asked, running his fingernails up and down my back.

"Something for baby Juliet," I answered. "I mean, nothing I make can compete with what you're giving, but I can't show up empty handed, and the third is just a few days away."

He kissed me. "You're so sweet," he said sleepily. "But honestly, it's not necessary. We can put your name on the card and it can be from both of us. They won't be expecting anything separate from you."

I sat up and looked at him. "Please, who is going to believe I contributed a penny of that money? It's ridiculous. I have to give something that's from me, I'd never show up with nothing for a baby, it's just not me. Surely you know that?"

He rubbed my back and shoulders. "Yes, I do know that, darling half-Japanese cupcake of mine," he said with another sleepy smile. "Anyway, the yarn shop tomorrow is not a problem. Now, can we please go to sleep, before I get another hard on and we have to have sex again?"

"Oh, is that a promise or a threat?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair.

"Oh my god, it's neither, just a fact," he said, smothering a yawn. "But, honestly, I'm so exhausted, I can't speak for the quality of my performance. Truly, sleep is your best option."

"Okay, let's sleep," I agreed comfortably, hooking my leg over him.

"Closer, darling," he whispered, "please..." So I pulled myself closer, eliminating all open space between us.

"Perfect," he said, barely audible at this point. "Love you so much..." and he was sleeping, warm, gentle exhalations purring into my ear.

I chose a beautiful blend called cashmerino, in a gorgeous mix of pink and yellow, and selected enough to make a capelet with a hood and matching overalls with attached feet.

When the time came to pay, I pulled out my card and handed it over, but I noticed as I did so that it looked nothing like my card. The cashier was already ringing it through, so I said nothing, but I scrutinized it when she handed it back. It had my name on it, but it was from an English bank, and looked completely unfamiliar. I opened my wallet and looked. It was in the spot where my bank card usually went, but it was definitely not my bank card. Everything else in my wallet was exactly as it should be, driver's license, library cards, social security card, all but my bank/credit card. I felt like I'd stepped into the Twilight Zone. And I knew who was to blame last time that had happened.

I left the shop and waited for Teddy, who was driving around the block until I came out. He pulled up, and I could tell from the look on his face that this was his doing. I buckled up and waited until he pulled away, and I could see him steeling himself for what he knew was coming.

"Theodore Shelley, what in the hell happened to my credit card? Hmm?" I turned to him.

"Here we go. Okay. Don't get in a strop, please," he begged, keeping an eye on the road, cutting his eyes over to me as often as he could.

"I am not getting in a strop, damn you," I said, knowing full well that I probably was. "I just want to know where my B of A card went, and how it got replaced with this card that I've never seen before that magically has my name on it?"

"Look, could we possibly just wait until we get home to have this conversation please?" He looked over at me pleadingly. "It's just that traffic's really really bad right now, and this is definitely not a good time for me to split my concentration."

"Fine," I said. I held my bag and purse on my lap and looked straight ahead, fighting to keep my composure as he maneuvered through the late morning traffic out of central London. Truth be told, I was fighting to hang on to my anger, too, because usually in these situations Teddy's motivations turned out to be made of pure gold, my anger ended up evaporating into thin air, and I eventually wound up crying into his chest and apologizing for being such a bitch.

After we finally got home, I went straight to the bedroom and changed into baggy cut-off sweat pants and one of Gethin's old T-shirts that actually said "property of Gethin Wren" in huge letters across the front in Sharpie. I knew it irritated the hell out of Teddy when I wore it, but I wanted something to feed my anger, to fuel the animosity between us. The shirt was so big it hung off one shoulder.

"So? My card?" I asked.

He sighed. "Okay. I think it's a really, really, bad idea for you to spend your own money while you're here, that's all. You need to save your money, all of it, every penny. I know you've been spending it since you came, not a lot, but I know you have, even though I told you not to. You're going to run out if you keep doing that. London's a very expensive place to live. When we go out to eat you let me pay and everything, but I know when you go to the shops by yourself, for example, you've been paying, and don't deny it, because you haven't been getting any money from me. You can't live that way, Birdie, you just can't. You'll run out. And you'll never ask me for any, you're just not like that. Then where will you be? Talk about being stuck. It's not as though you can work here or anything. Please take the card and use it. I won't even notice. You're so thrifty and careful anyway, I know that even if I tell you to go crazy and spend like you're going to die tomorrow you won't, you're just not like that." He stopped for breath after this marathon speech, running his hands through his hair. He walked around in a circle, as if he didn't know what else to say. He turned back to me, opened his mouth, then closed it again.

He took me by the hand. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let go, and I finally let him pull me to the sofa, and pull me down to sit by him.

"Please, please, listen to me, darling," he said, stroking my hair. He moved his hand to the nape of my neck, and started twisting the little curls there. "Let me do this. Like I said, I won't even feel it, I won't even notice. And you need it so badly."

"Did it ever occur to you to talk to me about this?" I huffed. "You can't just--just--replace someone's credit card without saying a word," I finished lamely.

He ran his hand through his hair again. "Fuck me, I'm so bad at this shit," he said. "You're the one who's never 'been' with anyone, whatever that means, but I'm the one who doesn't know how to be in a relationship," he said, looking intently at me. "I didn't want to argue with you, that's all."

"And did you really think that just switching out my card would work?" I asked. "That I wouldn't notice, or that I would, but just wouldn't care, or what?"

"Look, here's how I see our situation," he said, turning to face me, taking my hand in both of his. "You are so beautiful, so smart, so talented. You can do so many things. You are well educated, classy, brilliant, so many things that I can never be. You bring all of these things, and so much more, to our relationship. I have none of those things. I left school when I was sixteen. I'm nothing." I opened my mouth to object, but he hushed me with his finger on my mouth, and I hushed. "I have money, that's all I have to offer you. So let me. Let me offer you what I have to offer, and let me feel good about myself, let me feel like I'm giving you something of value, please?" He looked at me, gray eyes searching mine, and, as I'd predicted, my anger melted away, to be replaced by overpowering guilt for making this person suffer for trying to make my life better.

I put my arms around him and felt the relief with which he put his arms around me. "I'm sorry," I said into his ear, kissing his neck. "I'm sorry for being so mean to you when all you ever are is nice to me. You'd think I'd learn after all these times that all you ever want is to be nice to me, but apparently I've got a very thick skull and am quite stupid, all evidence to the contrary."

"Shh, don't say that, don't say that, please," he said. "You are my life, my whole life, I would do anything for you, I would die for you, don't you know that? You are the most important thing in the world. And I know I handled the credit card badly.

"Now would you do something for me, please?" He asked.

"Name it," I said with a smile.

"Take off that damned shirt, I hate when you wear it," he said with a laugh.

"Why don't you take it off for me?" I asked with a laugh of my own.

"Best idea you've had all day," he said as he pulled it over my head.

Finally, a cool evening. After dinner, I sat on the sofa, knitting madly, trying to finish the baby clothes. The kittens eyed the yarn from a prudent distance, as Teddy sat, feet on my lap, tapping away at something on his laptop.

The doorbell rang, startling us. To get to the front door, a code had to be entered at the front gate, or someone in the house had to ring a buzzer to open it. We looked at each other. Perhaps a particularly daring fan had scaled the wall? Teddy put his laptop aside and went to answer the door.

"You stay put," he admonished in a quiet voice as he left. I nodded and kept my knitting on my lap. The kittens, unconcerned with the doorbell, had crept on to my lap and were patting at the yarn, knowing at their young age already that anything more was forbidden.

I heard voices, Teddy's and another masculine one, both low and cautiously happy, I thought. And familiar, though they were still too far away for me to recognize the second one. I heard Teddy laugh, and I heard a laugh in response, and I knew that it was Matthew. Matthew, in London? I decided to remain seated, that it would be easier to look and feel calm if I weren't standing. They entered, arm in arm, Matty with a duffel bag over his shoulder, which he put down next to the wall.

He looked good, as handsome and beautiful as he had two weeks ago, though perhaps a bit thinner. Blue eyes like sapphires contrasted gorgeously with the complexion he'd inherited from his Mozambican mother. His face lit up when he saw me, and I moved the kittens and my knitting aside and rose to run to him. I couldn't help it. I was so happy to see him. I jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs and arms tightly around him and tucking my face into his neck. Tears came unbidden, coursing down my face. I had missed this boy so much. I felt his arms wrap around me just as tightly, heard him say, "Tinker Bell! Oh, god, I've missed you so much, lass!" And I smiled into his neck when I heard his lovely Scottish brogue.

I finally released him, sliding down and putting my feet on the ground. Teddy had just stood back and watched our reunion with a smile, arms crossed, looking pleased as punch.

"Did you drive?" I asked.

He nodded. "What's the point of having a fast car if you can't wake up at eight in the morning and decide to visit friends who live seven hours away?" He asked with a smile. "I remembered the code so I just pulled into the back and parked next to your cars, hope that's okay?"

Teddy waved a hand. "So come on, mate, have a seat, have a seat. You tired? Hungry? Want something to drink?" He asked, putting a hand on Matty's shoulder and guiding him to the sofa.

"I could use a drink, man, yeah, but I need to have a wee first." He turned and headed down the hallway, calling, "Beer, if you've got it, though I wouldn't say no to something stronger, you know?"

"Gotcha," Teddy called, heading to the kitchen.

I followed in his wake, feeling a small knot of tension in my midsection. Teddy turned to me, grasping my shoulders and massaging them.

"Don't take on so, Birdie, it's only Matthew," he said, drawing me in. "He didn't come here with any intent to do harm, you must know that if you know anything, right? Hmm?"

I nodded.

"He loves us, both of us. He'll tell us in his own time why he came, and it will only make things clearer and better, right? Look at me."

I looked up at him.

"Oh, no, you're going to have to do better than that, my darling. You look frightened as a young deer. You're in a perfectly safe house with two people who love you, now what could be better than that?" He leaned down to kiss me, more to calm me down than anything, probably. He rubbed my back and released me.

"Darling? Do we have anything to drink? Other than beer? Actually, do we even have beer? Should I call round to the shop and have some stuff sent over?" He had his head buried in a cupboard.

"Yeah, we have beer in the fridge in the carport, and there's hard stuff in the cupboard over the stove, I think," I said, still distracted and listening for the sound of Matty returning from the other side of the house.

"Aha! Found it." He pulled some bottles from above the stove and lined them up as Matthew returned to the kitchen. I boosted myself up onto the counter and sat, legs swinging, as the boys decided what they were going to drink. I declined, explaining that I needed to continue knitting and the stitches became difficult to count if I drank anything more than a glass or two of wine. Matty got the wine from the fridge, poured me a glass, then stood between my legs, arms around me, as Teddy mixed their drinks.

We went back to the family room, where the first order of business became for the three of us to untangle Lucy and Molly from the yarn. They had really gone to town while we were in the kitchen, and they were completely unrepentant, looking absolutely adorable as they looked up at us, tummies showing in between mounds of yellow and pink yarn. It took the three of us a good ten minutes to free them, laughing all the while.

We finally sat down with our drinks, and me with my knitting, to talk about Ronan and Gethin, the trip to Japan, and the past two weeks, anything but the elephant in the room. Why had Matty had driven all the way down from Scotland to see us?