I looked at my watch and debated stopping. It had been nearly two hours, two very hard hours of Hanon, still the best piano exercises in the world for getting the fingers into shape. I had started at one hour when arriving in London and had slowly been increasing, both in time and speed settings on my metronome. Yesterday I'd gone to two hours, so if I didn't do two hours today, technically it would be a step back.

I sighed, set the metronome higher, and continued. It was tedious but very satisfying to hear the exercises evening out, to hear my extremely weak fourth and fifth fingers getting stronger as the days progressed. I kept the piano lid closed to minimize the sound, and I opened the windows to let some of it out and not have it echo around the house too much, as there was nothing more irritating or monotonous than the sound of Hanon for hours on end; I did have a fleeting thought for the neighbors, though, and how their mornings were affected by the repetitive sound of the exercises floating through their lovely neighborhood. At least this side of the house faced the street and the traffic.

I flipped to the back of the book, to do some of the other exercises, and played through a few of those, which were improving also, and finished the morning, as usual, by opening the lid, and playing through a few of my favorites, including a few UK Crush interpretations. I spoke to Gethin and Ronan almost daily, but it wasn't the same as seeing them, and touching them, and of course having no contact with Matty had punched a huge hole in my life that nothing could fill.

Geth and Ronan had taken the news about me and Teddy with humor, saying they weren't surprised, they'd known it was going to happen, almost from the beginning, and they were really happy about it. There were a couple of jokes about how, if things went wrong between us, Teddy shouldn't just assume this time they'd take his side like they always had in the past, and Teddy had taken the ribbing with good grace, telling the boys that nothing was going to go wrong unless one of them came to London to try to take me away from him, in which case there would be a murder and the problem would be solved.

It was a hot and muggy day, and playing had made me sweaty, so I went into the bedroom to take a cold shower. Teddy was amazed at this habit of mine; he couldn't stand very cold water, and couldn't believe that I could just step into a stream of it. I told him years of diving into a freezing cold, outdoor pool in December had made me immune to water temperature, and once you adjusted to it, it was very refreshing and felt fabulous when you got out, kept you cool for hours afterward.

I got out and put on a spaghetti strap sundress from India that I'd picked up on clearance somewhere, the kind made of wrinkled cotton in many different colors, the coolest thing on a day like today. I was feeling better about the way I looked, or more specifically, about how I compared in the looks department with my guy. I would never match him in beauty, that was a given. He was lean, slim hipped, long legged, with a perfect jaw. I was a dumpling, round everywhere. But he loved me, and the way I looked.

Swoon.

I was brushing my hair out to let it dry when I heard voices coming from the back bedroom, and I followed the sound. It was Teddy, talking to Gethin on FaceTime. He must have left the door open so he'd hear when I stopped practicing. I was turning away when I heard Geth say my name in his sing-song Welsh accent, and I stopped to listen. Maybe I shouldn't have, but how could I walk away when I heard my name?

"Aw, I don't know, man, I don't think I can talk about that," Teddy said, embarrassment in his voice.

"We've talked about all those things before, mate," Gethin responded.

"I know, but this is her, you know? I mean, literally, you know her, so well, this is Birdie, she's like our sister, I mean, your sister, but like mine too, sort of, in a weird way. Ah, fuck, I don't know what I'm saying.

"Geth, being with her is, like, the most amazing thing you could ever imagine, then multiplying it by itself. I mean, every day, just being awake and in the world with her in it is so different, like the world is a different place, like just the colors are different. And when I'm not with her, it's like it's harder to breathe, and I can't wait to be with her again so I can feel like myself, feel normal. I don't even like it when she's not in the room with me. Like I just watch the door she left from, waiting for her to come back. I don't think she knows all this, she'd think I'm mental, she'd just run for the hills, you know? She's so independent, she's been on her own for so long, the last thing she needs or wants is to have some nutter hanging all over her, watching her every move, you know?" I heard the bed squeak a little bit, and I knew he had sat back and was running his hands through his hair, making it stand straight up.

"I don't know," I heard Gethin say. "I think that having someone, or some people, to care about her and what she does is what was missing from her life, you know? That's why she responded the way she did to being with us lot. We got so close, so fast. She loved being close to us, I mean physically close. We passed her around like a pet, like a stuffed toy, from lap to lap, hugging her, kissing her, petting her, and she loved it, she loved us.

"So what's like to be with her, mate?" Geth asked in a half embarrassed, half very curious voice. There was a brief silence, then he continued. "I'm asking for Ronan, too, who desperately wants to know, but is too embarrassed to ask."

"Really?" Teddy asked in disbelief. "The two of you have discussed this?"

"Come on, this is Tinker Bell we're talking about, course we've discussed it," came the reply. "We both of us had hopes of being with her ourselves, though not seriously, not after we saw how the two of you looked at each other.

"Look, I know this isn't the kind of thing you tell just anyone, and it certainly isn't the kind of thing you ask just anyone. I wouldn't dream of asking anyone other than one of you lads. But this is us, you know? And if you don't want to say, then of course don't, and sorry I pushed in. But I know both of you so well, and I love both of you so much, and I'd always wonder, that's all..." he trailed off.

I was curious how Teddy would respond. I sank down against the wall to listen. "Well, um, the first time? She fucking fainted, mate." I could hear the smile in his voice, and I smiled in spite of myself.

"What?"

"Yeah. I guess it happens with some people, if they don't come for a long time, it's so intense they pass out from it, and she did, she was out cold for, like, five minutes, because she never had before, you know? She'd never had one on her own, like, ever, I couldn't wake her up for anything. It was kind of scary, to be honest, plus it was so, um, tight that I kind of got stuck for a bit, had to wait a few minutes before I could pull out, Jesus she'd fucking kill me if she knew I was telling you this, mate, I mean, seriously--"

"I won't say a word, bro, you know that."

"I know, I know, it's just that she's so private about everything." Teddy let out a nervous breath.

"And you know," he continued, "I've never experienced anything like this, ever, in my life. Usually, after being with someone, I just want to be alone for a while, especially after a couple days. I can't stand to be with a girl for more than a long weekend. But the more I'm with her, the more I want to be with her. When we're together, when we're making love--god, I sound like a girl, man, I should at least be saying 'shagging', or 'fucking' to you, shouldn't I?"

"Man, you're talking about Tink, you're making love, no other words for it," came Gethin's gentle voice, and my heart swelled with love for him.

"Yeah." Teddy's soft response. "So when we're together, making love, it's like we're one person, like I'm complete, for the first time ever, in my life, like I never want to stop. Like I want to come, feels fucking incredible, but I don't, because I know it will be over, and we'll have to be separate again for a while, until the next time we can be whole again. Have you ever felt like that?"

"Christ no." Gethin's voice was quiet. "Theo, you really feel that? Every time? Lucky bastard. Sounds like you've found your soul mate. I never believed in such things until now, until you two."

"And we're at it, like, all the time. I wouldn't have believed it was physically possible. That first day, it must have been, god, I dunno, like, nine or ten times? I mean, seriously, could that even be possible? But I lost count somewhere around seven, I'm not kidding." He took another deep breath. "And since then, it's still all the time, I'm talking like three or four times a day, if not more. Every day. And she thinks it's normal, she doesn't know any better. She's up for it all the time, she's ready for me whenever, she's completely amazing. I've never seen the like of her, Geth, honest."