Teddy and I looked at each other and started to smile. He reached out his hand to me. I grabbed it and we raced for the elevator, which carried us down to the ground floor, and we ran out to the street and basically fell all over each other laughing. He hugged me around the waist, hugging me tightly.

"Birdie the Bitchtastic to the rescue," he said, kissing me warmly in the middle of the street.

"That was invigorating," I exclaimed breathlessly. "Let's celebrate with a huge lunch!"

"It's always food with you, Birdie," he said, laughing.

"Let me finish, let me finish," I said, hitting his chest. "A huge lunch, followed by an afternoon in a really posh, fabulous hotel somewhere close, where we can just go to bed and watch movies and fuck, and order room service for dinner. What do you think?"

"We have no clothes, no luggage," he said.

"Oh, come on, be adventurous," I encouraged. "All we need are our bodies." And I grabbed him, between his legs, right in the middle of the street.

He stared at me in shock. "What if someone took a picture of that?" He asked.

"Sometimes you have to take a risk. And I never took media training, so I don't know about those things," I shrugged. "Where do you want to go for lunch?" I leaned up and kissed him.

He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and kissed me, really kissed me, put his arms around me and made me forget where I was. He finally let me go, both of us breathing hard. "How about we check into the hotel now and get room service for lunch and dinner?" He said, sliding his hand under my sweater to touch my skin, making me shiver.

"Sounds good." I said, biting my lip. "Best idea I've heard all day. Lead the way, mister."

The weather grew colder, and I delved deeper into my Mozart. London in autumn was beautiful, and I was so happy that it kind of scared me. One afternoon Teddy surprised me with a walking tour of historic Westminster, ending with dinner at another riverside bistro, and it was such fun to find out how much he knew about the city. We wandered the tree-lined streets, leaves crunching under our feet, buildings looking like something out of Mary Poppins.

Sometimes, just for fun, Teddy and I would go on the Internet to read about ourselves. Some of it was true, some false, some hurtful, some outlandish, but it was almost always entertaining.

Once, when we were out to dinner with Janelle, there was a story that said that we were trying to have a child and having trouble conceiving, so we were trying to talk Janelle into being a surrogate for us; another story said that I was actually Ronan's secret wife (they had a picture of me and Ronan kissing from somewhere) and that Teddy was just "keeping an eye" on me until my audition. Yet another article said that the boys "shared" me, that I slept with all of them. I'd snarfed my iced tea when I read that, while Teddy just slid onto the floor laughing. He also found an article that was all about me and my different "looks"; I hadn't been aware that I had any looks. I just put on whatever clothes were clean in the morning. That particular piece described me as Teddy's "doe-eyed beauty". He read it out loud and nudged me, smiling. I hid my face in his arm with embarrassment, but I was flattered, too.

"You know who else was described as 'doe-eyed'?" I mentioned to him. "Audrey fucking Hepburn. Wow. Me and Audrey Hepburn, being described with the same adjective, that's really something. Damn." I sighed.

"But you know what?" he said, putting the laptop aside and pulling me onto his lap. "You're built way better than Audrey Hepburn ever was. She was a stick. You're curvy and round and soft in all the right places." And he kissed me, putting his arms around me and moaning comfortably. "God, that just never gets old."

"Maybe it's bedtime," I said, smiling.

"Maybe it is," he agreed. "I just have to finish something upstairs. So why don't you go to bed, and I'll come just as soon as I can, okay?" He dropped a kiss on my nose.

"Kay," I agreed. And I went to bed and fell asleep before he came, and for the first time since we'd been together, he didn't wake me up when he came to bed. I woke up in the morning to find him wrapped around me, holding me so tightly, but when I kissed him, he kissed me back and then jumped out of bed, heading off to the shower.

Very strange. I followed, as I would normally do, and he seemed happy to see me, but there was no shower sex, again, very strange, and it wasn't because he didn't want to, either, I could see that.

"Um, Birdie? I'm really on fire with this song I'm working on? So I'll be upstairs most of the day, okay? So don't freak out if I'm not around much for the next few days, I just really want to get it done, I think it's going to be really good." He grinned at me as he rinsed off.

"Great, that's wonderful," I smiled back. Maybe this was normal for him when he was really in the groove, I figured. He certainly seemed fine. And who in their right mind would worry because it had been, what, eighteen hours since they'd had sex?

I lathered up my hair and put it all out of my head. Tomorrow was my weekly meeting with Richard, and he wasn't happy with something I was doing in the third movement, which I hated anyway, so I'd really have to focus today.

By dinnertime Teddy still hadn't reappeared, and I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to disturb him if his work was going well, but we always ate together. I decided to send him a text, which was odd, since we were in the same house, but it seemed the least intrusive way to go.

'Coming down to dinner?' I sent.

'Sure, down in a tick,' came the response, almost immediately.

I heard his footfalls on the stairs, and I realized when I saw him coming that I'd actually missed him, missed seeing him for the last nine hours. I smiled, and he smiled back at me, features softening. My feet carried me toward him of their own volition, and I felt like it had been weeks, not mere hours, since I'd seen him. I put my arms around him, and felt his arms around me, tight.

I reached up to kiss him, and it seemed for a second that he wasn't going to lean down to me, that he was resisting. Then he reached for my head and closed his eyes, giving me the usual, fabulous kiss.

"I missed you today," I confessed in a whisper, unwilling to let him go.

"I missed you too," he responded, burying his face in my hair. "I'm just really burning it up with these songs, the writing's going really well, I don't want to lose it, I'm sorry."

"Oh, god, don't be sorry," I said, letting go of him. "Never be sorry that your work is going well, please.

"Come on, let's eat," I said, leading him to the cheerful little nook.

"What is it? It smells fabulous," he said, following me.

"Beef teriyaki," I responded. "You know me, Japanese is pretty much all I do, with a little Tex-Mex thrown in."

"Lucky for me those are my two favorite kinds of food," he responded with a smile. "And listen, I don't want you to feel like you're required to cook, because you're not. I mean, I'm no cook, but I ordered take away every night before I met you. That, or I just went out for food. And that's what I planned to continue doing when I invited you to live here, honest."

I looked at him. "Are you crazy? Do you know how expensive that is? And you have this beautiful kitchen right here, with that fabulous grocery store that's walking distance, that will even deliver at no extra charge? I mean, I'm no cook, either, but I can't knowingly burn your money like that."

He just looked at me, chop sticks in his hand. "You're so funny. You know, you must know that I don't even notice the difference in my accounts between when you cook at home and when I was ordering take away every night? I mean, do you know how much money I have?"

I looked at him and sighed. "Yes, I know how much money you have. I mean, I don't know exactly how much money you have, but I know you have a buttload of money, okay? But that doesn't mean we have to be stupid about it, not when there's no reason. Right now I have time in the afternoon to make dinner. I'm not doing anything between three and five, so why spend it? So I can watch TV? If I were busy, If had something I had to do, then maybe the other would make sense, but the way things are now, why?" I looked around the table. "Unless you don't like what I make?"

"Are you kidding?" He looked at the food, then looked at me. "Home cooked Japanese food every night? I've gained close to ten pounds since we came back from Japan, and I'm pretty sure it has to do with these dinners you've been making."

I smiled. "Well, good, then. All of you boys are so thin. And your hip bones hurt sometimes."

He looked at me sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

I shook my head at him. "It's okay. The positives far outweigh the negatives, in this case."

After we cleaned up the kitchen, I sat on the counter and asked if he was going back upstairs to work. I tried my best to keep the plaintiveness out of my voice, though I don't know how successful I was.

He came to me and stepped between my legs, putting his arms around me. "How about if I stay downstairs for a bit, maybe we can watch a movie or something, and I'll head upstairs after, hmm?" He looked at me.

"Please don't feel like you have to babysit me," I said, looking back at him. "The truth is that you've spoiled me up until now by spending so much time with me. I used to spend hours, days by myself, and I was fine, really. You do what you have to do. I'll take whatever time you have for me, and I'll be happy, honestly. I'm a big girl."

"No, never say that," he said, shaking his head. "I want to feel like you need me desperately, like I need you." He pulled my head to him, kissing me so hard, bending my head back so far. We were both breathing hard when he stopped, and I thought he was going to pick me up and carry me off to the bedroom, or just take care of things right there in the kitchen, but instead he just asked what movie I wanted to watch.

"How about if you pick tonight, okay?" I suggested, hopping down from the counter and walking to the living room.

We spent the next two hours watching one of the Avengers movies. I didn't know which one it was, I could hardly pay attention to the screen, my mind was in such turmoil. Something was definitely wrong.

He had his arm around me, but it felt weird, as if he felt I were made of something breakable. Gone was the comfort of melting into his arms, of snuggling into his body; it was as if he'd been replaced by a twin, someone who looked exactly like him but didn't know me at all, who was extremely uncomfortable to be touching me.

I finally reached for my knitting as an excuse to sit apart from him. He pulled my feet onto his lap, which seemed to be about as close as he wanted to be. He kept his hands on them, which was a comfort, but by the end of the movie I was really close to tears. But I was damned if I was going to cry. I was really trying to leave Aileen the mouse behind, and the tears were part of who I used to be.

I smiled as he came over to kiss me goodnight after the movie.

"Goodnight, my darling," he whispered. "I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?"

"Yes, of course." I nodded. I pulled him back for another, more thorough kiss. "I love you, Teddy," I said, looking into his eyes.

"I love you too, Birdie," he responded, "so much." He closed his eyes for a moment before letting me go and heading up the stairs.

I headed off to my lonely bed for the second night in a row.

In the morning, again, he was wrapped tightly around me, his arousal apparent. I touched him, wondering what kind of reception I would get. He opened his eyes, smiling with pleasure as he looked at me. I smiled back, leaning forward to kiss him. Then, as our lips met, he suddenly recoiled as if he'd touched a snake.

"What?" I pulled back too, not wanting to do anything unwanted.

"What?" He recovered quickly, I'd give him that. He leaned forward and kissed me, a chaste, big brother kiss. I kissed him back, pretending that nothing was wrong. He got out of bed, heading for the shower. "Coming?" He looked back at me.

I shook my head. "Nice and warm here," I said. "I think I'll stay a bit longer."

He grinned at me. "Enjoy, love." And he was gone.

And I didn't even know who to talk to about it. I mean, how ridiculous would I sound? My boyfriend hadn't had sex with me in two whole days. Was he being unaffectionate? Compared to what? Was he being mean? No. Could there be a good reason, an explanation? Like work? Well, yes.

I rolled over in frustration. I couldn't just stay in bed all day. I had Richard and the fucking third movement. I was starting to hate Mozart.

I got out of bed with a sigh as I heard the water turn off, and I passed him in the closet between the bedroom and the bathroom. He was wrapped in a towel, and looked gorgeous.

"Excuse me, darling," he said as he passed me.

I turned to him to make a joke, but he was already gone.