It was love that made Satan change his ways. He met a girl (the old-fashioned way) at a bar. He was out carousing as usual on a Friday night, looking for some poor slob who was ready to sell his soul to the devil, when he saw her. She was standing near the bar with a group of girls, politely sipping on a lemonade.

It was clearly a hen party and she seemed out of place in a drinking establishment. She looked prim and proper, a vision of a perfect southern belle with blonde hair and neatly manicured nails. She wore a modest simple dress that flattered her figure. For Satan, it was love at first sight.

Why, he did not know. Certainly he'd prayed on such darling doves countless times before. But something about her was different. When he started talking to her his sense was confirmed. She was like no other woman he'd ever met.

Without realizing it he'd gravitated towards her. She was talking to a friend and he didn't think she even noticed him, but suddenly she turned to him.

"Hello, I'm Sivanah," she said with a friendly smile, holding out her hand. Satan took it in his own rough hand. Her softness made his knees feel weak. Her smile made him want to weep and she smelled of brown sugar.

"Hhh..hi, I'm Satan." Satan didn't recognize his own voice. He sounded like a nervous schoolboy. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. In that moment he knew he would do anything for this woman.

And he did everything for this woman. He changed his ways. He stopped torturing souls, moved out of hell, and bought a condo in the suburbs. He signed a lease on a Honda Accord. He began volunteering at the local food bank. Soon Sivanah moved in with him.

Satan had never been happier. But he was neglecting his job in ernest and so he wasn't surprised when the boss called him into the office.

"Satan, I'm going to have to give someone else hell," said his boss. "In fact we've already hired your replacement."

"That's fine boss, I've done this job long enough," replied Satan, "I've already been putting my resume out to a few middle management positions in Cincinnati."

"What prompted this change of heart Satan?" asked his boss. Satan blushed, and his boss understood immediately. He chuckled.

"Love, eh? Oh, how the mighty they fall. Thanks for your service Satan. Good luck."

Satan shook his bosses hand and skipped out of his office feeling lighter than he'd ever had. He bought a bouquet of flowers and decided tonight would be the night he would pop the question to Sivanah. He'd already bought her a beautiful diamond ring.

But when he got home something felt amiss.

"Sivanah?" Satan called out, but the condo was empty.

Then he saw it, a letter on the coffee table. He opened it with trembling fingers.

Dear Satan,

I'm leaving you. I've decided to take my life in a different direction and I've taken a job in hell.

- Sivanah