I'm not okay.

I'm not okay, and I haven't been for a while.

These past few days I've just felt so...empty. Like nothing's okay anymore. I didn't have the motivation to get up and get dressed for most of yesterday.

I sit here and I smile and I pretend everything's okay, that I'm not hurting. That my parents and school aren't slowly draining the life out of me.

I help everyone else. But I can't help myself.

I'm a terrible person. I lied to my friends about not talking to y'all. I'm selfish. Everything is me, me, me. I constantly whine about my own problems. You guys should hate me. Should leave me. I'd understand.

I'm afraid. Afraid of losing my friends, both online and in real life. I fake happy and good and nice.

At this point, I'm not even sure if I'm.. me anymore.

It's all so ugh.