A U T H O R' S   N O T E

Hey, mates! How are you all doing? I apologize that it took me a long time to update. Anyway, I'm in college now as an art student and it's been so long! I'm not sure if I should continue to do wattpad. A lot of you guys have been so supportive and I gave that up when I thought my stories are going nowhere. Thank you for your support.

Also, the next chapter is for mature audiences only. There will be steamy scenes.

xoxo
-Hannah

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❝ Let your rebellious heart die a thousand deaths if it means discovering a fierce love that worth fighting for,  worth coming to life.❞
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Chapter 27
Avalynn Johnson

"Nolan! Let. Me. Go." I said through gritted teeth. Tugging on my hand, that was currently held by Nolan's own, I pushed him. "Nolan!"

He didn't budge or even bat an eyelid. Gazing at me he spoke, "We need to talk."

Well, obviously, but he didn't have to manhandle me.

"What the hell? We could've just stayed there!" I exclaimed. We didn't have to go out here in the garden. The place back there was fine.

"Plus, you ruined my dance with Justin," I grumbled. He acted very rudely and in a childish manner. Couldn't he wait after the damn dance? I honestly enjoyed dancing because my dance partner was great.

Though what I said didn't seem to please Nolan. Far from it actually.

"Really? Justin huh? Is he your boyfriend now?" He sneered. 

"Do you prefer to be in his arms instead?"

What?

He huffed out a deep breath, looking me in the eye saying, "You moved on quick."

What the bloody hell is he talking about? Did I move on quick?

That's funny since he didn't know how many tears I shed for his idiotic ass when we were apart. Apparently, he was angry at me for dancing with Justin.

Then it hit me.

Damn it, I'm being stupid again.

"Nolan, are you- are you jealous?" I asked in disbelief because in no way will Nolan ever want me.

But then again, he's here in front of me, acting like a jealous husband.

Nolan stayed silent for a period of time till he spoke up saying, "So what if I am? I have the right to be."

Stubbornly stating, he crossed his arms and glared.

What the hell?

I rolled my eyes at one of his tantrums and reacted.

"You have got to be kidding me! You're being this immature because you're- you're jealous?"

Unbelievable!

"And no. You have no right to be jealous. We aren't mates okay?"

He made that clear.

He said that he doesn't want me.

Maybe he's confused or the fact that his wolf is forcing him to be with me. I didn't want that. I didn't want him to be coerced into loving me. That ain't right at all.

I have my morals.

"I-" Nolan starts but then looks down to the soft garden soil.

"I know. And I'm sorry." He whispers.

He sounded so genuine for a moment. But I can't. He hurt me a lot when he kept denying me. I don't think I could take more heartache.

Then, a wave of anger washed through me.

"You think sorry is gonna cut for what you did?" I pointed at him, narrowing my eyes. I turned away from him, feeling tears prick my eyes.

"It's not enough." I whispered.

He hurt me a lot.

I know that he's hurting too, I am considerate about that, but then if he let fear rule his life, we can never be together again.

Nolan would still continue to hurt and push me away if he did so.

"I know. You deserve better than a piece of shit like me but please, give me a chance to redeem myself." He begged.

Then the air was knocked out of my lungs when he croaked,

"I'm trying for you."

What does he mean? 

Is he really trying?

"I've change in a short span of time, all because of the words you embedded in my head. I knew that if I didn't let go of the past, then I would end up losing you."

He then spun me around, grasping my arms.

"Because if I can't fix myself, how can I fix us?"

It is true. Inside, I'm glad he has finally realized things my way.

Then I was shocked when he held my hand tightly.

"Please, I can't lose you. Because if I did, I'd not only lose my soulmate but my laugh, my smile, and my everything."

I was surprised by his words. Really, I was. I never knew Nolan had a way with words.

I gently pulled my hand out of his grasp, "You can't blame me for walking away when you didn't even do anything, not even a single thing, to make me stay."

Nolan looked down.

"I'm sorry I let you go. I honestly regret the day that I did that shit."

Then my wolf stirs in me.

'He regrets it, Ava! Forgive him! Forgive our mate!' My wolf chants.

I'm not sure, should I even?

'Of course you should!' She states stubbornly.

"I thought that you needed space that's why I didn't come after you."

Maybe he respected my decision?

"Well, Nolan, if a girl says stay away, what she meant is to go after her." I explained.

"Well, I know that now." He said, a small smile making its way onto his handsome face. What is he thinking about?

He said he changed for the better. Is that true? If so, isn't that what I wanted all along?
For him to change for his... Pack? For us?

I guess mistakes do teach us lessons that we need in life, while not trying, leaves us with regrets and misery.

And like he said, he was trying. For me.

I really want to give him a chance because like what the goddess said, we deserve to be together. But I'm scared of the reality I might face when I do.

No one can argue with the moon goddess' plans so we were indeed meant to be! However, that doesn't mean I didn't try to fight for my freedom. I remember that day when I was in the goddess' clutch.

Fuck, I'm not sure what to say but I do know that if I don't try to give him the chance to be with me, then I might just be depriving myself of a future of love and romance.

Anyway, back to Nolan, I am considering it. I'm giving him a chance to make it right. If I didn't give him any hope, then it would be cruel and unfair to him.

I didn't want to be selfish. I'm so over that.

He suddenly walked closer to me.

I opened my mouth to say something but he cut me off by silencing me with his fingers.

"Shh. Let me talk."

I just nodded my head.

"I know you gave me time. And with that time, I realized that time itself didn't heal me. It was you who did."

Nolan gently grasps my arms back and stares into my eyes. His piercing grey ones that could see right through me despite my defiance.

"It's you, Ava. You saved me."

It's like a huge bomb was dropped on me. He made me sound like a heroine. His savior.

I caress his face. It felt right. Somehow, it made me proud of him and for how things turned out.

Nolan became a better Alpha. At least in my opinion anyway. He learned and through that, earned more respect.

I wouldn't regret giving him space and I don't regret meeting him at all despite the heartache that was evident along the way.

"I forgive you, Nolan."

It was time.

"You do?" He looked confused. As if he couldn't believe it.

"Yes. What? Do you want me to take it back?" 

He immediately replies, "Yes! I mean, no! No." 

I laughed seeing as he didn't know what to say.

Truthfully, I believe that everything heals. The heart, the mind, the wounds, and the soul.

And if I believe in that, then I believe in us, since happiness is just around the corner and will always come back through bad times that don't even last.

Then, another thought caught my attention.

"The only problem is, how would my parents react to this?" I pointed between us. We all know they aren't on good terms. Ever since they found out that Nolan and I broke our bond, they started despising him. It sounds bad but there was nothing I could do.

"They loathe you and they would probably never approve of us."

Then his mouth broke into a smile.

What? There's nothing to smile about.

"Nolan? Why are you smiling? This isn't good news."

He just chuckled.

"Oh, Ava, if only you knew. They actually approve of us being together already."

I don't believe him. They didn't even talk in the party awhile ago.

"H-how?"

I cleared my throat, saying, "How did that happen?"

I was confused because my parents never told me that they have accepted  Nolan as my mate. I really am doubtful right now.

"Well, after you left the packhouse, I was thinking things through."

"My mind was a mess and all I could think of is you, and how to get you back."

I flushed red hearing him say he wanted me back. Plus, he thought of me while I was gone?

"Even Mason and Julian couldn't give me what I wanted to hear until Easton came along."

What does he mean by that? Easton? I need to know.

"Yes, Easton helped me and gave me some advice. He helped immensely. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here, standing in front of you and asking you to love me back."

Damn. I knew Easton was a smart kid but I didn't expect him to be a huge impact to Nolan.

"From then on, I called your parents."

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Flashback
Nolan Blackwell

'Hello? Who's this?' He spoke through the other line.

'It's me. I need your help.'

'I don't have time for this. I'm hanging up.'

'Wait! Please! Hear me out!'  I desperately pleaded.

'What do you want, Alpha Nolan?  Isn't hurting my daughter enough for you? And now you're asking for favors!' Alpha Johnson bellowed.

He's wrong! I'm not asking for anything but his daughter's hand.

'No, Alpha. Quite opposite. In fact, I'm here to win her back.' I told him with determination.

'No can do, Alpha. You made your choice and you hurt her badly. I won't allow that to happen again. Not on my watch.' Alpha Johnson growls.

She's my mate!

'But that was a mistake!' I barked. I fucking regretted everything.

'So is your bond together.' He retorted.

My wolf then snarled angrily, stirring. 'Our bond isn't a mistake. The moon goddess bonded us together for a reason.'

I signed frustratedly, running my fingers through my hair. I needed to calm down or else I wouldn't ever get the approval of my future father-in-law!

'Look, I know I did her wrong but she's not the only one hurting here. I'm also in pain!' I exclaimed with honesty.

I was hurting too. Moping around, looking like a depressed boy didn't really say that I looked happy. We were both hurt.

'A-and, I realized my mistakes.' 

'She gave me time to think and now I want her back. Don't you want your daughter to be happy? Don't you wish for her to be free? She's not free because the pain she's feeling entraps her the way it did to me now that we're not together.' I gushed at him, voice getting louder and louder each time.

The pain just builds up the more we're far from each other.

There was a moment of silence. Alpha Johnson stayed inaudible.

I hoped I made him see things my way.  I heard him sigh.

'Hmph, I do want her to be happy. Because lately, as a father, it kills me to see how the pain affects her. She looks dead on the inside.' He spoke sadly.

Fuck, it's all my fault. What had happened to my lively mate? I needed to get her back. His words only fueled my determination. I didn't want her to go through any more pain now. She never deserved that.

"Please, let me make her happy now," I said, slightly begging.

'How would I know that you won't hurt her again?' He asked through the phone.

I don't blame him for being doubtful. It was hard to trust someone like me. Someone who had the guts to hurt someone so innocent in the past.

'As I said, I learned my lesson. Plus, my wolf would never allow me to hurt her again.'

Deep down I knew that I would never hurt her again. I'll go through hell and back before I could hurt her. I couldn't make the same mistake twice. I imagine us being a family. She will be the one carrying my pups.

'Fine.'

I stopped dead on my tracks.

Fine? What's that supposed to mean? Is he dismissing with me already?

Then I heard Alpha Johnson continue, 'I realized that I can't go against the moon goddess's plans. And being with your mate is the best thing that could ever happen to your life,"

I felt anxious. So what now?

"I accept.'

I froze.

My wolf was going crazy inside of me and I was anticipating his next words.

Then, he said what I've been dying to hear since our argument.

'You can be with my daughter.'

What?

Yes! Holy shit! My wolf was stirring inside of me as we were both filled with excitement.

One down, but the real question is, what would Avalynn think of now?

Then my shoulders slumped down in defeat. I don't know how to get her back. But at least I'm one step ahead.

'But, that's the problem. I don't know how to win her back. I don't even know when I'm going to see her.'

I might never see her again since she wouldn't visit my pack nor would she want me to visit her's.

Then another miracle came.

'Well, you're lucky, son. There's a chance you might meet her after all.'

But how? Where? When? I was squirming in anticipation.

'There's an upcoming celebration, three weeks from now. We're celebrating the defeat of the rogues and the induction of my son and his mate. A lot of packs are invited too. I wasn't supposed to invite you but now that you have sought forgiveness, I have changed my mind. You can come along too. Now you can talk to Avalynn.'

I can't believe this. The fates must be on my side tonight! I get to see my mate again! My wolf was stirring excitedly.

"T-thank you. Thank you so much, Alpha Johnson."

Then I added, 'I'll set up a new contract for partnership and truce to our pack.'

Of course, everything comes with something and I owed Alpha Johnson. I'm glad he's on my side now.

'Good,' He said from the other line.

"Look, son, I get that you were a bad mate but I trust you than any other Alpha out there, okay? You welcomed us in your pack, cared for us even.'

I couldn't believe it, I felt that Alpha Johnson respected me in a way.

'You're a goodman, Nolan. I can see that now. You even had the guts to call me when you know that I would have killed you. You have managed to lower your pride for my daughter, which I admire coming from a powerful, determined Alpha like you are. I trust you with my daughter's life.'

Somehow, not to be a pussy or anything but it touched me. His words. It made me feel like a man deserving of respect.

Yes, it pleased both, my wolf and I, to hear that. I would do everything I can to protect her. It's what a mate should do. Something I never did for her.

Then he adds teasingly, 'But if she comes crying back to me, then I will kill you. Clear?'

It was a mere joke but you can hear the threat in his voice.

'Yes, I'd even give you permission to kill me,' I said jokingly.

'Thank you once more, Alpha Johnson.'

I'm ready to get my mate back.

'Now you better think of one hell of a plan, okay? My daughter is one hard person to crack. Just like her mother.'

- Flashback ended -
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"See that now? Your parents want us to be together." He fussed.

"I can see that, Nolan." I rolled my eyes but inside I'm glad.

'Remind me to thank dad later,' I said to my wolf.

I looked into his eyes. There, I can see it.

Sincerity and love... For me.

"I- I truly forgive you." I breathed. I loved him.

He hugged me with all his might.

"T-thank you." He croaked, tightening his hold on my waist.

My wolf and I felt content being in his arms. Here comes the day that I've always wanted. To love and be loved and to be in the arms of my mate.

I don't know how, I don't know why, I don't know when, but we suddenly kissed.

Lips crashing, the heat of his mouth was extremely pleasurable against mine. Tasted as if it was the softest rose and the finest ambrosia in ancient history.

I was floating. Blissfully.

So soft.

I'm getting addicted and I couldn't stop.

This wasn't just a normal kiss. 

This was an intimate kiss that was filled with frustration, love, and longing.

Our tongues battled together, sweet sensation, our lips were in sync.

I realized that I couldn't be selfish. I shouldn't keep on prolonging my agony and my wolf's pain just because I was once hurt. Honestly, I will be lost without him by my side. It may seem a bit fast but we needed this both.

I pulled back breathing heavily and placed my forehead to his.

I'm glad I gave him time. From what I can see, he learned his lesson. I can see it through his actions. I can see it through everything about him. His vibe.

We were meant to be and I don't think I could let go of him.

Nolan then kissed me again. This time, it was passionately ferocious. I smiled through the kiss. I wouldn't dream of being in another place than his arms right now. I didn't even know how passionate he can be.

Our bond, it was broken but mended now. Even with what hurts us inside, can also be healed by ourselves too. Just like no matter how dark it gets, the sun will always rise again.

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L.E. 4.23.16 • 4:46 pm

L.E. 8.25.19 • 11:19 pm

Warning: Next chapter is for mature audiences only. Do not read if you're uncomfortable with hot scenes.