A U T H O R' S   N O T E

Hey guys! How are you? I'm very sorry that I made you wait. I'm currently at the beach. Yes, I'm on vacation! Anyway, it didn't stop me from updating. So here you go, chapter 24! I hope you don't kill me- I mean, I hope you like it! I took delight in writing this chapter so anyway, your votes and comments are appreciated thanks!
-Hannah

Warning: Emotional chapter ahead. Don't kill me.

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❝ It takes a heart to forgive and a brain to move on.❞
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Chapter 24
Avalynn Johnson

I knocked at his office door.

Still, no answer.

I didn't wait anymore for a response so I told myself to enter his office. I needed to see him. For my benefit, and my wolf's pleasure as well. No more spell to cover our bond.

As I pushed the door knob open, there he was.

Nolan was here, looking outside of his window. He looks to be in deep thought.

I pictured him to like those sad people in those intense drama.

Plus, his office gave off a melancholic feel. Maybe it was his feelings?

I wheeled closer to him. Clearing my throat, I tried to get his attention even if he won't spare me a glance.

"I knew you were awake. Emma informed me." His deep voice vibrated across the room.

"I'm sure you are here for the answers."

I just nodded for I couldn't find my voice to speak. I might as well choke.

"Well, you are going to hear everything anyway." He stated seriously.

This was the first time he looked at me. His piercing gaze shot across to face me. Electrifying eyes filled with intensity.

"It all started ever since I met Benjamin and Matthew's pack. It was during one council meeting. They were always our rival pack when my father reigned. Their father was very jealous when it came to my dad and greedy when it came to power. Though Benjamin's father was like that, Benjamin wasn't always so bad."

"In fact,-" He breathed.

"We were friends."

What? First, envy started it all. Then, he was friends with the enemy himself? But what made him so cold and detached? What happened to him and Benjamin? I'm trying to read between the lines. I wonder, really curious and all. Nolan rarely opens up to me, so I'm going to take this chance and listen to him.

"It even got worse when Benjamin found his mate, Melissa. She was the Beta's daughter in Benjamin's pack that's why I met her in a party. She was very gorgeous and had an interest on me-"

My wolf growled loudly.

'What? He's complimenting her and now he says that she has taken a liking to our mate?' My wolf couldn't help but snarl at what he was saying. Sue me, the spell that broke our bond was gone so my wolf and I were quite possessive.

Then, I remembered that he heard the growl, which now, my cheeks burn red in embarassment. I waved my hand and motioned him to continue.

"Anyway, of course I didn't like her. I was young and waiting for my mate like every other male wolf. But even if she had a soul mate, that bitch kept on coming onto me until one time, Benjamin saw her kiss me. I don't why she wanted me that bad! I tried to push her away but it was all too late. He saw it and got mad at the both of us."

"Benjamin vowed revenge on me that day. Although, I tried to explain myself, he just wouldn't listen to me. I never hated a girl more than I hated Melissa. She just broke my friendship with the young Alpha." He growls.

'She sounds like a bitch for cheating on her mate but I wouldn't blame her, my mate is handsome as the Greek gods!
But damn it, it all started because of a fucking kiss?' Avalynn thought.

"I guess Alpha Holloway got mad at me because his son was broken-hearted. He couldn't perform his Alpha training properly and that affected his pack."

"Then, there was this one war against rogues.-"

The rogue war. I heard of this before. My father and mother was part of it yet they have managed to survive.

"The council asked every werewolf pack to team up, so that we did. Until, Alpha Holloway saw it as an opportunity to strike my father whilst he was trusting the packs."

"Avalynn, you have to know that my father was a good man. Though, he thought that he didn't have a problem with any of the packs because they were a team. But he was wrong. That bastard, Alpha Holloway betrayed my father." He spit out bitterly.

"I was there when it happened. Hidden in the bush because I was terrified to go out. I was just a little boy, Avalynn."

Then, I could imagine a young Nolan, scared, hiding in some kind of bushy plant. Poor kid.

"I watched as he stabbed him too many fucking times with a silver knife, coated with wolfsbane while he was battling with the rogues that entered the territory. However, Alpha Holloway didn't kill my mother. But I still blamed him for her death." He looked like he was in pain. I guess this was a sensitive subject and he was reminiscing it.

"After my pregnant mother gave birth to Easton, she couldn't take the pain of losing her mate so in the end, she killed herself to be with my father."

Oh my god! Wolfsbane then his mother? How cruel can one be? I thought.

If you were stabbed with silver, you wouldn't be able to shift for days but if you were stabbed with wolfsbane, you're dead on the spot! I guess it scarred Nolan when he witnessed his father brutally murdered by another Alpha.

"Alpha Holloway even told my father his plan and intentions. He told my almost dead father that he was working with the rogues all along. Alpha Holloway just wanted to gain power. Then, it wasn't my intention to do so, but I let out a cry when he did that. I approached my father but Alpha Bastard held me back and asked his roguish men to get me. They dragged me away from my father's corpse to a smelly room. Their torture room."

My eyes widened when he said that. Please don't tell me they did what I think they did.

"Yes, that's why I despise rogues with a passion. They kick me, beat me, starve me, and whipped me. They lashed out on me, treating me like a punching bag till I was bruised and bloody. I was just a little kid back then, Avalynn."

I gasped with tears filling my eyes. How could they do that to a child? I understand that senior Alpha Holloway wanted more power against Nolan's father but what has a child to do with all this madness? The child didn't do anything wrong! Nolan should have been nurtured and cared for!

Then it it hit me, the scars on his back.

So that's where he got them.

He chuckled bitterly.

"It was a good thing my trusted pack was able to find me. But by the time they found me, I was already weak and broken." Nolan carried on, "But in lucky to be alive. The minute I caught a whiff of their scent, my wolf took control of me. I don't know how since I was young back then. But with the rage that I and brother wolf felt, I did what I had to do..."

He sighs sadly.

"I killed senior Alpha Holloway and his men." He spoke bluntly.

I was bewildered by this point. Nolan was a little kid when he shifted and then he managed to kill an Alpha with his supporting men by that age? Damn, animal instincts. No wonder Nolan's pack, the Black Stealth pack, is considered one of the most powerful packs in the world.

"After that, I immediately took over the Alpha position at a very young age. The truth was, the Alpha position must be given first to someone who is mature and capable enough to handle business matters until I am old enough to resume to the position. However, I shifted at an early age, very unusual to hear, but my wolf disagreed with that. My parents were dead, there was nothing I could ever do to bring them back but I'm sure they want nothing more than to see me rightfully ruling our pack one day."

He took a deep breath, sighing,

"Look, I admit, I never wanted a mate before. I never wanted one since I knew for sure that I will just get distracted or vulnerable again if I lost them. Also, I thought female mates were the same that cheats on her spouse a lot so I didn't even bother another heart ache. Plus, the main reason is that, I didn't want to be selfish and let someone's life suffer just because Benjamin wants revenge on me. I couldn't put my mate in danger."

"Wait- where is Melissa now?" I asked. Shouldn't Benjamin focus on Melissa and not on me?

Nolan's lips curled into disgust, saying, "Well, that bastard killed her after she kissed me. He said he doesn't like a cheating mate."

I'm sure my face etched into disgust as well. His mate might be a cheater but she didn't deserve that. Damn, Benjamin is truly a monster... with feelings. He let those feelings fuck him up pretty bad.

"You see, that's why Benjamin hates me. I ruined his life." He declared. It's not his fault!

"No, he ruined your life as well." I argued.

It wasn't his fault that Benjamin's mate was a slut. I can't help but judge her that way. I perceived her as sluttish person for pawing on an unmated male when she had her own. Hell, I can't even get my mate to notice me yet she did that!

"Plus, he doesn't only hate you because of his mate, but because he wanted power. You know, like father, like son." I mumbled out.

He looked me in the eyes.

"I let you down. I'm sorry. I've been nothing but mean to you from the start. It's just that, I was extremely hurt." He whimpered.

Extremely hurt?

That confused the fuck out of me.

I understand that, but he didn't know what he put me through! From denying me, to humiliating me, for not fighting for me.

I squinted my eyes, starting to get mad at him.

"But that wasn't an excuse to hurt me!" I cried.

I could feel tears burning my eyes. How could he? I was hurt too!

"You think that it didn't hurt me when we broke our bond? That you keep on denying me even if I open up to you? I was your chance of happiness! I could have helped you get better! But instead, you kissed your fear instead of me!" I screamed at him. I couldn't help but let out all the pent up anger, hurt, and frustration that I felt.

"You act like it's you against the world. When if fact, it's you against yourself." I pointed out, sneering. I squinted my eyes at him.

News flash, mate. The world doesn't revolve around you. I thought.

"I can't help it, Avalynn. We all bear scars, mine just happen to be visible than most." He voiced out with intent.

My heart broke for my mate, when I saw his tears streaming.

"I want you, but honestly, you're an idiot." I spoke.

I knew it now.

I stood up from the wheel chair, feeling a bit dizzy at first. Despite the spinning sensation, I manged to regain my balance and myself. Hey, I didn't have broken limbs, I just felt weak earlier but somehow, I managed to stay fine upright.

I walked closer to him whispering, "You are confined by the walls you built around yourself." I gently clutched his chin to look at me. His grey eyes piercing me from within.

'You can't mask what you feel right now.' I told him in our bond.

"I really am sorry, Ava. I fell for you. Bond or not. I don't know how it happened. It just did. I know I don't deserve you but all I'm asking is a chance to prove myself to you." Nolan pleaded.

I shook my head, and his face fell. I guess he took it the wrong way.

"I understan-"

I grasped his shoulders and shook him.

"Nolan. Listen to me. I forgive you but I can't be with you-"

He looked saddened by what I said but nodded anyway. Damn it!

"No, what I'm trying to say is that I can't be with you if you don't heal." Emphasizing 'heal'.

"Please, Nolan. You need to help yourself." I looked at him with intent.

"Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn't take a day, it takes a lot of steps to be able to break free from your broken self. And when you do, come find me." I removed my hand on his shoulders.

My inner wolf was protesting. She didn't want to leave him but she thought it was for the best. Even though it is the best option.

I spun around and made my way to the door, looking at him one last time before walking out. He always did the leaving, but not this time. I kept walking away and not once did I look back.

I hesitated at first but I shrugged it off. He needed time.

I knew that pain comes in time but time itself will heal the pain.

I walked to the living room to find Aiden and Evangeline.

He smiled at me, "Hey are you ready to leave? Evangeline is coming with us!"

The thought of leaving Nolan was heartbreaking but it was for the best. I couldn't really be that happy since I just got out of a coma. Or that my mate and I are spending time away from each other. It's a good thing my brother found himself a love.

I gave sad smile and hugged Evangeline.

I whispered in her ear, "Welcome to the family, Evangeline."

She pulled away and looked me in the eye. "Thank you, Avalynn. You know that I'll always be here for you." She squinted her eyes saying, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Just go to the car already I'll follow shortly." Giving her a small smile, I pointed out to my brother who was waving at us.

She gave me a reassuring grin, "Okay, just make it quick. We are leaving shortly, okay?"

Nodding, I watched her walk away from me. I took a deep breath, and someone tapped my shoulder. I spun around and came face to face with Mason.

"You're leaving?" He asked with sad eyes.

"Yeah, the war between Benjamin is over. We don't need to be here anymore." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"What about Nolan?" He questioned.

What about him?

I sighed, it's hard for me as it is.

"Nolan needs time Mason. I expect that you take care of him while I'm gone." I spoke, teasingly.

He nodded, smiling, "Yes, Luna. Still bossy I see."

I rolled my eyes smiling, as he pulled me to a hug. "I'm going to miss you, Avalynn. I hope you don't forget me."

I smack his head playfully and hugged him tighter, "You idiot, we are neighboring packs! It's not like my pack lives in a different country or something. Anyway, I'll never forget you. You're my best bud, Mase."

"You're ruining our dramatic moment." He grumbled. I laugh at that.

When we were hugging, a car horn honked at us. It was probably my brother telling me that we're leaving. We pulled away quickly and grinned.

"Goodbye, Mason. I'll see you soon." I smiled at him before heading to the car. I'm going to miss that idiot.

I heard him yell out, "Don't be a stranger, Avalynn!"

Of course I'll keep in touch. Mason gives like the best advice known to mankind. Plus, he's a great friend.

As I opened the car, I looked back once more at the packhouse. I see Mason smiling brightly, and even Easton was waving at me. I'm going to miss that little kid. I looked above and saw Nolan. Through the window, he looked at me with his blazing eyes. With so much emotion that I couldn't tell what exactly it is.

My wolf whimpered, wanting nothing more than to run upstairs and into his arms. But instead, I refrained her from doing so because I know she's dead serious about doing it.

I stared straight in his eyes and gave him a small smile, -which by the way, he returned- and nodded at me. Supporting my decision. I know that it pains him and his wolf to see me leave. It kills me as well, but we needed to stay strong.

Maybe we do need to separate just to fall back together. Who knows? Maybe fate won't be a bitch this time.

I took a deep breath and entered the car. Aiden and Evangeline gave me a reassuring smile, telling that everything will be okay.

I just hope it does.

I look back at the pack house, through the car window. Watching it disappear little by little as we drive. My heart ached leaving them. It felt like what I was doing was wrong but I couldn't help but think that I'm so proud of my heart. Ive been through alot, rejected, attacked, burned , broken and yet it still works...

It still feels.

For Mason, for Easton, for his pack, and for him.

People might think this decision is stupid, but I don't and never will regret it. Because we need this. We need to heal spiritually and emotionally. And we don't do it by dwelling in the past. We heal the past by living fully in the present. Let's just hope this 'cool-off' works for Nolan because he needs it more that I do. Plus, I don't want our decision to go to waste.

Maybe this space between us will be for the better.  Because time wasn't ready for our first encounter, it definitely gave us a second chance.

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L.E. 3.24.17 • 11:06 pm