A U T H O R' S   N O T E

Hello people! I've been getting a lot of update request so here it is! Chapter six. I apologize if the story is weird and all that but please be patient with the characters especially Nolan. In this chapter, he can be such a douche. (Patience is a virtue lol). Thank you all for the support! It honestly means the world to me. I also apologize for the shit writing. (I'm just a kid and I'm not really good in English but bear with me. I'm trying). Anyway, you guys have been so supportive and it makes me so happy. Like, thank you so much.

-Hannah 💖

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Enjoy reading chapter 6!

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The End

❝ I don't know what to say, ❞
he said.
❝ It's okay, ❞ she replied.

❝ I know what we are- and I know what we're not. ❞

- Lang Leav

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Chapter 6
Avalynn Johnson

            "Miss Johnson? Alpha Blackwell requests your presence in his study."

I looked at the person who called me, it was a beautiful girl around my age. She looks so damn perfect, that I'm getting a bit insecure. Is that why my mate doesn't like me? Because I wasn't blonde or pretty enough? I shook my head, trying to remove all the negative thoughts.

"Please tell him that I'll be with him shortly." I told the woman politely.

Gosh, what does that douche want from me now? And I thought, that he didn't want to see me? Much less get close to me that is. She bowed her head to me in respect then walked away.

"Uh oh." Mason said in a mocking voice.

"What does he want now?" I complained, completely irritated. My mate doesn't want me, so why would he ask for me? I'm really confused right now.

"Maybe he wants you back?" Mason suggested.

Wants me back? Please. I don't think he would instantly want me for some unknown reason. Nolan showed so much hate and resent towards me for the past few days. He never changed.

"I doubt." I shook my head.

"I have to go now. See you in a bit Mason." I walked away from him.

"Good luck!" I hear Mason call out.

Luck? Yeah, I think I'm going to need it.

I walked up the stairs and saw those large office doors. I knew it was Nolan's because all Alphas have home offices. Even my father has one back at the pack house. I then saw the lady who called me earlier. I couldn't believe that he even has a secretary in the pack house.

She noticed my presence and said, "Miss Johnson? You may now go inside." I smiled gratefully at her. 

You can do this Avalynn. Just be calm. I thought.

I opened the giant doors to the office and stepped inside of the room. I was greeted by the sight of my mate looking down on his laptop with his glasses on. I didn't know he wears glasses but I'm not really complaining since he really does look adorable and sexually appealing at the same time. Like a hot teacher that you're forbidden to mess with.

I just stood there awkwardly and asked him, "What do you need?"

I regret speaking. My voice cracked a bit, thus I cleared my throat. I couldn't even speak well since I'm near him. His presence affects me a lot.

Not once did he look at me since I have entered his office. He has got to be fucking with me. Why is he so rude! He cannot be discourteous like this when he was the one who called for me.

"Take a seat. We have so much to discuss." He calmly stated, lacking emotion. Like he announced, I followed and sat down on the comfy office chair.

"What do you want, Alpha?" I crossed my arms in a rude manner. I couldn't help but sneer at him since he made me so irritated. He interrupted my time with Mason just to what? Be rude to me? I really don't need his bullshit today. What does he actually want from me? I thought he didn't want to talk to me much less see me in the same room with him.

He finally looked up from his laptop and said those words that I never thought he would say.

"Ms. Johnson, I just want to inform you that I am breaking our bond."

Wait a minute- what?

Hold up!

Break. Bond. Sadness. Wolf. Mate less. Break-

Those words were echoing inside my head over and over again. I felt something inside of me break when he said that. And to say, it isn't a good feeling at all. Especially, an awful experience to be relived on.

Why the hell would he even say that? Please tell me this is a joke. No one can live denying their mate.

First, he doesn't acknowledge me as a soul mate and now he's breaking the bond like he knew we were mates from the start.

"Why?" I whispered breathlessly.

I couldn't talk much since the breath was knocked out of my lungs. It was too difficult. He knows we were mates all along and not once did he show love or anything except hate.

"Why are you doing this?" I finally said much louder but still, weak. I hated that feeling.

"I told you before; I do not want to have a mate. Don't you want your freedom? You'll be free to choose a new mate! You'll move on!" He told me.

My inner wolf whimpered in sadness. 'Why is he doing this? Mate.'

He hurt my wolf too so I became angry at his words. Werewolves are really sensitive creatures. They get hurt, angry, or possessive easily.

"Yes, knowing that there will always be a hollow part on my chest! I never wanted freedom! All I wanted was a loving mate! All I wanted was you!" I said angrily.

"I can never be that 'loving' mate." He gave me pained look. Nolan truly disappointed me as a mate and as an Alpha.

"Your excuse isn't valid! You don't want a mate because you just don't want to? What the hell is wrong with you?"I was so damn livid to process the words that I was throwing at him.

"Why couldn't you just be a normal mate and accept me? Huh? What did I ever do to you to deserve this shit?" I shouted.

He was the worst mate any werewolf could have; a total nightmare for female werewolves dreaming to find their mates. I'm praying to moon goddess that other people will be blessed with a kind mate.

"You didn't do anything! I just don't want a mate! I can't have one!" He then explodes with wrath in his veins.

Somehow, my gaze softens on him. He looked so angry that I almost shook in fear. Keyword, Almost. I'm not scared of him because he is my mate. If I was his pack member, I would have scurried away so fast before he could say goodbye.

And what do you mean can't?

"Can't or won't?" I asked much more calm than before.

He stayed silent.

"Both." Before I could reply, he cut me off, "I am being honest already. I do not want a mate. I'm giving you the choice, the freedom to find a new one so you don't end up lonely and dejected."

"Because being with me will hurt you."

Doesn't he know that I'm already ending up lonely? That I'm already hurt? I am willing to forgive him if he just gave into the mate bond. But apparently, it isn't happening. Nolan is my only mate yet he doesn't want me.

"Just why are you doing this?" My shoulders slumped. Why couldn't it be him? I needed answers! Was there something wrong with me?

"What could possibly stop you from taking me as your mate? Is it really bad that I'm someone's mate?" I said in a broken voice. I'm starting to get insecure of myself.

"No, it's just that my pack is better off without a Luna. I am much better off without a mate."

Come on mate; add more salt to the wounds.

My wolf howled in dismay. 'No! He is wrong! Nolan's pack will be stronger if he accept us!'

He continued, "I also don't do love and I probably never will. I just don't want to hurt you. Inside, I have no heart. There is nothing beating past my rib cage, it is just empty space." He sighed.

Don't want to hurt me? You have already hurt me so much in the past. You truly are a heartless person, Nolan.

During the council's event, just saying I'm not your mate, kills my wolf inside. Am I not good enough to be his Luna or mate?

My wolf cries out badly. She's in so much pain. Hurt me, hurt everyone, just don't hurt my wolf.

Should I let go? Maybe one day I could move on. Though, knowing that there is a missing part forever, I'm not so sure about that. I don't think I could handle the void or hollow part on my chest. The feeling of a missing half will always stick there with me.

I don't think I could handle it! I'm not sure if I could endure the pain and sufferings that my wolf went through.

I'm not that strong.

I need to put an end to my wolf's pain. It just has to stop. And that main reason of me and my wolf's problems is Nolan.

I'll put my wolf first than my mate even if I had to give up on him. My wolf has been there for me for so long. It's time I have her back and help her.

I never thought I would say this but,

"Okay, I will accept your offer to break the bond. Just tell me when or where and I'll be there." I said it even though it was so hard for me to do so.

He looks at me wide eyed.

I'm guessing he was expecting me to fight back. I would but we would fight more and frankly, I'm tired of arguing. I just wanted everything to stop and become serene.

Why is he still looking at me like that? Why is he still in shock? This is what he wanted right? I'm going to give it to him.

I looked at him in pity. I could love him so much until it hurts but he doesn't want.

"I just want to say, never say never, Nolan." I smiled sadly. Never say never because limits like fears are just an illusion. Saying never can hinder and limit his true potential which is to love one day.

"Never say that you don't have a heart because you do. It might not be warm for me but it definitely warms for your pack." He just stays silent and has his cold gaze focused on me. I gaze back with the same intent. He had so much potential to become a great mate. We could have worked things out and I'll forgive him but under circumstances, he has a different view on mates.

"You're a good Alpha. You always think of your packs wellbeing and the werewolf world. I'm glad you're my mate, or soon to be ex-mate." I gave a humourless chuckle. He will become my ex-mate sooner or later as I am his.

Wow Avalynn. First, you loathe him then the next, you are being thankful that he's your mate. You're so weird.

"Maybe one day, you'll be able to find that right woman for you. That the cold heart of yours will warm up to the true woman that you will love. Sadly it isn't me but I honestly wish you the best, Alpha."

It felt like someone punched my heart repeatedly knowing that I will never be his. It clenched my heart to say this. I just wanted to know why he is so cold to me.

I stood up from where I sat and strode to the door.

I looked back at him, "Thank you for welcoming my pack, Alpha Blackwell. It's an honour to bond with you even if it was for a short time. I'm sorry we did not work out but I hope you find happiness someday." I said formally then walked out.

Once I was out, the secretary looked at me in pity. I do not need that. I took a deep breath and continued to walk to the hallway. It felt heavy doing that. Basically, the time in that room suffocated me. If I stayed for a second longer then I might have had an awful breakdown in front of him. Frankly, I don't want to be weak in his face. Thank god I was out. Now, I need to calm myself down.

I was pacing down the hallway till I heard my mate's voice through our link.

I froze.

Be here in my office tomorrow. 10 am sharp. The bond breaker will be here at the said time.

I snapped back to reality for I couldn't take it no more. My tears flowed freely whilst I ran.

I bumped into someone's chest. Thankfully, the person's arms caught me before I fell to the ground. "Avalynn? Are you okay?" I hear Mason say. I hugged him tightly. I didn't respond and just continuously sobbed on him. I can't take it anymore.

Mason carried me and led me back to my room. He placed me on my bed and closed the door.

"What happened back there?" He looked concerned for me. I need to be honest with him for he's my friend.

"He's going to break the bond, Mason." I whispered, tears falling out of my eyes. I also felt afraid of what's to come after the bond breaking. Would anyone still want a rejected wolf? Would want me in particular.

His eyes then suddenly looked like it bulged out of its sockets. Yes, Bond breaking is very rare and dangerous so I completely understand why Mason looked surprised.

"I am going to kill him." I barely heard him since I had shortly zoned out for a moment, but I stopped him instantly when I snapped out of it.

"No, don't." I said, too tired. Too emotionally drained for this. We don't need another argument.

"Why not? He's making a huge mistake! He's stupid if he wants to let you go. Do you not want him to suffer too?"

Yes, he is making a mistake and yes, he is stupid but he is still my Alpha mate, Mason. My wolf would not appreciate you hurting him.

"It's okay. I told him I'd be there when he wants to break the bond. Apparently, he's too excited and now the bond breaking happens tomorrow." I sighed.

"You accepted it? Now you are the one who's acting stupid." He pointed out.

I know but what can I possibly do to convince him? He has made up his mind. Plus, I'm doing this not for him but for my wolf and I. I don't have anymore chances with him.

I rolled my eyes. If I wasn't in a weak state I would have smacked him in the head.

"It's okay, Mason. At lease we will be free from our sufferings. He was never happy with me anyway. I'll be doing us a favour by breaking the bond." I explained, sounding so sure which isn't me. All I ever did to him was bring him grief and all I ever was, was a burden to him.

That moment, Mason looked like he wanted to smother me with a pillow.

"How could you say that? My mate had passed away and I'm still missing her so badly!" He bellowed angrily.

Oh.

I suddenly felt guilty. I didn't mean to. His mate is six feet underground and he could not move on while me and my mate were alive, breathing, yet breaking something treasurable.

"I'm so sorry Mason. I didn't know how you felt about this but I can't do anything about it. He doesn't want me." I say apologetically.

"Fight for it. I don't want my friend and  my Alpha to be unhappy for the rest of their lives. The pack deserves a Luna. Take that chance, Avalynn. Please." He pleaded. I do want to fight for it but I didn't choose any of this! He did!

"Haven't I tried? I told him but he wouldn't listen to me. Nolan told me that he and the pack does not need a Luna. I, being his mate made him really unhappy. I'll do anything just to make him happy even if it means letting him go completely." I bit back harshly, my voice cracking in the end. It was hard to say the last words. He was after all my only mate. I'm too tired and I need to let go from now on.

"Please Mason; we have to end this trouble causing pain. I'm asking for your support." I spoke calmly now. He must understand the reason. I can't do anything anymore.

"How do you know that he will be happy once the bond is broken? He's your mate. He's supposed to feel something for you. What if you leaving him would make him really unhappy and break him?" Mason asked.

"Trust me; I'm sure he'll be celebrating once I'm gone." I sighed. I'm sure of it. Isn't Nolan the one pushing us to do the bond breaking immediately?

"Whatever. Fine, I'll agree with you guys but don't think I'm in favor of this decision. I just don't want you guys to end up lonely like me."

I embraced him really tightly. "Thanks for being a good friend, Mason. I appreciate it." He is truly a good friend. I consider Mason like one of my brothers now in fact.

"Stop it. I feel like a girl. All that hugging and shit makes me look weird."

I laughed at his words.

"You better get rest for tomorrow okay?"

I just nodded whilst he paced out of my room, closing the door and lights. Does uthe actual bond breaking hurt? Would I be okay tomorrow after the bond breaking? Would I receive a new mate? I'm overthinking things.

Be prepared, Ava. You're going to need it. I can do it. I reassured myself.

Moon goddess, please help me.

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