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Taeyong woke up to the sound of rain hitting his window. Blinking tiredly, he tilted his head up towards his window to see it was raining heavily outside. The boy slowly tried to move, but felt sore all over all the sudden and hissed in pain. He thought back to what happened last night and froze. Slowly, he looked down at his body under the covers and hesitatingly lifted his shirt to see bandages. His eyes widened. He thought it was a dream, he thought he didn't actually do it. He actually did it, he hurt himself.

'I hurt myself.' Taeyong thought.

He closed his eyes and suddenly the image popped back into his mind from last night. The blood, the cuts, the pain became vivid. He wanted to cry all over again, but didn't because he knew his eyes didn't have anymore tears to shed for awhile.

Taeyong stiffly turned over, expecting to see someone on the other side, but no one was there. On that, Jaehyun hasn't even come to him for the past days. Taeyong then remembered they had a guest room, and he was in there last. A shaking sigh released from his chapped lips because his voice doesn't seem to be working.

"Will you come back Jae?" He whispered to himself suddenly.

"No." Taeyong was shook at his own doing.

It was starting again, the talking back to himself. The random thoughts in his head that would randomly speak themselves.

"Damn it! I told you to not talk anymore!" Taeyong yelled at nothing but air.

"Yea yea but the real problem is Jae isn't coming back."

"Yes He is."

"No he's not."

"Yes."

"No."

"YES."

"NO!"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" He sat up with a jolt and yelled as he put both hands on his ears.

Then the voice stopped. The voices stopped, but he knew not for long. He fell back into bed and painfully heated tears started streaming down his cheeks. He didn't feel like crying, but it seemed like his eyes did. He started feeling a headache coming along and groaned in pain. He hurt all over and didn't want anything but silence and sleep.

Slowly turning to his side, he let his eyes fall with a sting. He didn't fall asleep instantly, but as the rain washed his window he let his body rest.

"Shit." Jaehyun cursed as he threw another empty bottle of beer somewhere.

He coughed a little and felt his veins and body rush with a shudder. He felt his eyelids getting heavy and got up from the chair he was in. The male was drinking again, a bad habit of his he's started doing more and more often.

He unsteadily walked upstairs back to his room, and there he saw someone sleeping in the bed. He didn't know what came over him but he slowly crawled onto the bed and on top of the small figure. Jaehyun realized the boy was beautiful, too bad he couldn't remember his name. He pulled the blankets away and the small figure who instantly jolted awake at the action. As he looked up and noticed the other the smaller drew fear in his eyes.

"J-Jae? What are you doing?" He asked in a small voice.

Taeyong was confused, he was in the middle of slumber when Jaehyun had abruptly interrupted it. He didn't even know when he fell asleep. He looked up in fear as Jae slowly reached hand for Taeyong shirt.

"Pleasure me?" He asked slyly.

Taeyong widened his eyes at the filthy request, and gulped as he smelled the fragrance of alcohol. He was drunk. Taeyong started to escape but only got a rough grip holding him down by his wrist. He hissed in pain at the pressure on the wound covered by bandages.

"Where you goin in such a hurry princess?" Jaehyun teases.

"Jae your drunk! Let go of me before you do something you'll regret!" Taeyong screamed in fear.

He didn't want Jaehyun to do it with him like this. He didn't want this. This was happening to fast, much to fast for him to comprehend. He hated it, he hated the look in Jaehyuns eyes. It was the same glare he had the first day he arrived. It made him sick, it made him feel like he wasn't anything to Jaehyun. If he was honest, he didn't know if he was anymore.

Taeyongs words must've went in one ear and out the other, because next thing he knew the taller went in for a sloppy kiss. The kiss was forced and nothing but lust filled in it. Taeyong tried to get away but Jaehyuns strong grip prevented it, and he grunted in disgust. Taeyong felt tears starting up again as the other pulled away from the kiss and started leaving dangerously rough kisses on Taeyong neck. Taeyong pushed and kicked in fear but he was so weak he could barely make Jaehyun move. Jaehyun then started leaving hickeys and his hand had already slipped under Taeyongs shirt as Taeyong cried in disapproval.

"Jae get off of me!" He yelled.

He felt Jaehyuns hands traveling down and Taeyong instantly grabbed his wrist. He started thrashing around, avoiding at all cost from Jaehyun to get into his pants.

"Jaehyun please-" Taeyong begged, but in a split second the hand stopped itself.

Then all the sudden, in a blink of an eye, Jaehyun had collapsed on top of Taeyong. Taeyong was a panting mess from all that useless fighting, Jaehyun had passed out. Taeyong pushed the heavily built body off of him as he finally catches his breath back. He started crying more and more and those turned into loud sobs as his mind was still overwhelmed by the sudden actions that didn't even happen 10 seconds ago.

Taeyong got up all the sudden and with a teary stained face he grabbed his coat and ran out the door, into heavy pouring rain. Taeyong ran down the sidewalk, having no idea where he was going but in the end not caring. He ran and ran but not until he finally collapsed on his knees in a puddle of water. Nobody was in the streets, only fast cars flying by, not seeing him.

He was a crying mess as his tears are being washed away by the rain. He kept crying until his sobs were unheard of by the rain, and clenched his clothes against his chest violently. He looked up into the dark sky above him, letting rain his his face violently as he screamed in pain. He never felt so alone as his voice gave away, not even echoing as the rain carried away the sounds.

How could let his happen to him? How could he be so foolish to still love somebody who called him a slur and slapped him like a bitch. It was no use now, there was no hope for anything anymore it seemed. His heart filled his aches, and his body groaned for just the supplement of some food. He felt so weak, so afraid and hurt. Why did his love have to turn out to he hatred in the end? How did he let this happen?

He felt to the ground in exhaustion, letting himself curl up into a ball. The rain didn't let up, instead he let the heavy drops land on him. His crying stopped slowly, and then he simply laid there in the puddle: numb.

Taeyong spent the rest of his night in an alley way, under the rushing rain and night sky that seemed it didn't want to give him a break either.