Dear journal,

  Today I woke up at exactly seven thirty as i do everyday, I made my bed twice, brushed my teeth three times and combed my hair twice. Same as any morning. I made my way down stairs remembering to start with my right foot and to skip the last step. I made my way into the kitchen and turned the lights on and off, on and off, on and off three times. I poured my usual cereal into the same bowl. Exactly fifty pieces. Poured two cups of milk and ate peacefully. Mother came into the kitchen ruffling my hair and passing me four colored pills. Two blue and two green.

It was a bit colder today on the way to school. The leaves on the trees appear to be converting into blazing colors of red and intense tones of orange. All the greens look like they are being reborn into yellowish tones. Makes me think that both summer and winter wants its presence but both are struggling to take over with the aggressive opponent. I guess it's what to be expected near the ends of November.

Today as i walked into my first class, i found Justin already sitting in the desk in front of me. He wore a red muscle shirt so you could see the bulk and definition of muscle in his arms. His eye brow looked to have healed allot over night with only a slight purple bruise over top. His hair was neatly placed this time, light curls could be seen. He still wore ripped jeans and dirty shoes but it drove my ocd a bit less crazy. He scribbled something in a note book, lost in a trance he was totally unaware of my presence. I sat down behind him.

What could he be doing? Curiosity struck. I quietly leaned over my desk and over his shoulder careful not to make a sound. He smelled like chocolate and mint. Slightly odd. I glanced at his note book. Were those music notes? I took a closer look only to confirm my assumption. They were in fact music notes, neatly drawn on a treble clef. I analyzed the piece. It wasn't for piano that's for sure, for some instrument that only played in treble and was tuned in concert. I played the notes mentally in my head. Canon in d. Only a variation of it i had never heard before. Which made me curious. Did he write it? I never pictured Justin to be the type that was that into music. I always pictured him as the type riding motorcycles, wearing leather jackets. The loner that was to cool for everyone else. You know typical bad boy. Then again even though his looks would agree, he had surprised me up till now. 

A sudden jump from him made me stumble back into my seat. Realizing that i saw what he was doing he quickly slammed his note book shut.

I could feel my face turn red. 'S-sorry. I didn't mean to intrude, i was just curious."

His face softened and his lips curled up wards. "It's cool you just startled me that all. Did you like what you saw?"

I relaxed a bit. "Yes, it was a variation of Canon in D. Very well developed, did you make it yourself?"

His simile grew. "Why thank you, Yeah it's something i wrote, I have had a love for music since i was little, writing pieces is something i take pride in."

"I can relate to that, iv'e been playing piano since i was little, Canon is my favourite piece by far. Um...What instrument is it for?"

"Swing by the band room today at lunch and i'll play it for you. That is if you want to know what instrument." The teasing in his voice was obvious.

My stomach churned. I always ate in the library, always. I wanted to hear him play this secret instrument but i couldn't break the schedule. It's never been done before. I couldn't star now.

I'll just turn down the offer. I'll say I'm busy.

He awaited my response.

"I'll be there." My mouth moved on it's own.

Slight panic filled my chest. The walls were suddenly closing in on me again.

Breathe Alister Breathe.

"Sweet. I hope you'll like it." He flashed me his white perfectly aligned teeth, and turned around just as the bell rang for class to begin.

I'll tell him that something came up and i couldn't go. I calmed down a bit more realizing that things would be OK. My  frazzled nerves kept jumping all together, and in different directions. I could barely focus on my work or on the teacher for that matter.

I restarted my paper three times before i was able to finish it.

The bell rang and i quickly stood up to make my way to art class.

Justin followed a few paces behind me.

I turned a corner and stopped dead in my tracks. Tommy was headed my direction. He saw me and elbowed the two brothers to get their attention, he motioned towards me. There were dark purple bruises under his eyes and around his nose from where Justin had caught him. They advanced towards me.

I walked closer to the side hoping to get lost in the crowd of people. No luck. Justin sped up behind me to catch up, noticing Tommy and his gang.

The tension rose and the room temperature seemed to drop.

They roughly brushed past Justin. "You're dead." Tommy growled as he continued on his way to class.

Justin just smirked and turned to me. "Like i hadn't heard that one before."

Did this boy not feel fear? Perhaps he could take some of mine because at the moment i had more than necessary.

I simply smiled and we made our way to class.

...............................

The desks were aligned in rows and a white canvass stood on each, along with trays of acrylic paint.  Our arts teacher announced. "This weeks subject is melancholy. You may paint whatever you please as long as you can tie it to the subject somehow. You all have a week, good luck. Oh and keep it PG will you?" She sat back down and continued browsing her computer.

Melancholy huh? Easy. A broken piano in an empty auditorium.

I set myself to work and in a few minuets i was lost in my mind as my hands hurried to catch up. I started from the perspective of someone sitting at the back of the auditorium and drew the empty stage at the very front. Each seat was empty and the ceiling was caving in. There were holes in the seats and the steps to the auditorium were broken. I drew every detail i could possibly fathom. Before i knew it, it was time to pack up. I glanced to where Justin was sitting.

He sat with his head down, hurriedly scribbling away in his notebook. I looked at his canvas.

Blank.

He spend the whole class working on his piece?

My curiosity spiked. I wanted badly to hear what it sounded like. My ocd and curiosity decided to go to war that very moment. Should i brake the schedule? Or miss out on something i so desperately wanted to hear?

Justin wasn't in my next class. That made it a bit easier to focus with out him dangling the piece right in front of me. I got through the first half of class alright.

But the sooner it got to lunch. The more i tensed up.

Ten minuets to the bell.

I wasn't going. I couldn't. I always ate lunch in the library. That was that. i would just tell him that i was called in for a make up test. Yeah that would work. wouldn't it? What if someone sees me at the library and tells him? What if he comes looking for me?

Five minuets.

It would never work. he would find out somehow. What if i tell him the truth? Surely he would understand. Right? The picture of him working on his piece flashed through my mind. his face hard in concentration. What beautiful notes had he written? Would he be disappointed if i didn't show? Would he get mad?

The bell rang making me jump.

I raced down the once again crowded hallway.

In the grip of silent panic, wild eyes, pupils dilated, heart racing, brain on fire, like a cluster bomb exploding in my brain, turning my brain to a mental soup of conflicting instructions, My body moved on it's own taking my lunch and dragging me down to the music room.

My heart was racing by the time i got there.

I entered the secluded room. No one ever came into the music room.

I looked around. There was a piano on the small stage along with a drum kit and a few stands. There were chairs stacked in the corner. Only the stage lights were on so it gave the room a nice closed of feel. 

I shuffled forward to see Justin emerge from behind the piano.

"Hey, you came!" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah, I said i would didn't i?" I smiled back and walked closer. "So what's the instrument?"

"First of all, can you play canon on piano?"

"Of course."

"Alright! My variation should fit well with the original. Would play a duet with me?"

"It'd be my pleasure." My nerves went away even though the crushing feeling was still there.

I positioned myself at the piano. Instantly feeling better.

I glanced at Justin as he pulled out a small black case about an arms length long. He unzipped it and pulled out a violin. 

He looked at me. " Alright, you can start when you're ready i'll join in in a few measures."

I nodded. Inhaled.

And in a matter of seconds my hands flew across the piano playing the familiar notes i loved.

About six measures in i heard the most beautiful sound i have ever heard.

I looked to see him on the stage completely in trance with his violin. With each stoke of the bow his eyes glimmered with pride, his features looked so relaxed and at peace. The pressure in my chest lifted. How could this mess of a human make me feel so at ease?

His notes meshed with mine made the sweetest music i have ever heard. He was right. His variation fit perfectly. When the piano had the melody he had the harmony and when the piano faded off he had an amazing melody. The music had a vice-like grip on my mind, it's beautiful reality began to distort my own, challenging the once mundane facts of my existence, bringing me into a new turbulent realm where even my sense of self was up for grabs. His music filled me with emotions i didn't know i could feel, one moment i could feel the tears stinging my eyes and the next my smile was so wide my cheeks hurt. The music soared through the air like an eagle on an up-draft, taking with it the very souls of anybody who dared listen.  It ascended together in a magical flight to the heavens, a breathtaking melody of orchestral exuberance. Then after the crescendo they dived back down, giddy, my breath stolen from my body, until all that was left was the silence there was at the beginning. It was a shared journey that held us spellbound in rapt silence.

The silence was somehow comforting and spoke for itself, it was peaceful in a way where you could feel at home and know that no matter what was happening, it was forever there for you.

The silence was at last shattered.

"What do you think?" Justin asked slightly out of breath.

"It was the absolute most beautiful thing i have ever heard in my life. You're really gifted." i couldn't even put into words what had just happened. "There was so much emotion."

"Ahaha Thanks." He blushed."I can say the same about you're playing. I have done many duets before an none other quiet like this one. We make a great team don't we?"

The heat rose to my face again. I got a funny feeling in my chest, what was it? I felt really happy and giddy at the same time. "I truly loved it, it made me feel extraordinary. Like i wasn't broken, you know? For a while there i forgot i was even on earth."

"Alister? Would you? um... would you meet up again with me? At lunch times i mean. We can play together. No one ever comes in here so we wouldn't be bothered. We could forget about being on earth again." He stared at the ground.

"I would love too."  My thoughts were racing at million miles per hour. I didn't want this amazing feeling to end.

I wore the facial expression of a small child with an especially large christmas present.

His brilliant blue eyes connected with mine. In that moment i never felt more connected to another person than i did to him.

"It will be our little secret then." He flashed me another brilliant grin.

Something in my heart fluttered.

He packed away his violin and brought out his lunch. We sat down on the stage and began eating.

"So." He started. "You have any siblings?"

"A younger sister named Violet, she takes after my dad." I swallowed my food. "You?"

"A younger brother. Howie. Parents like him better."

"Is it because of the same reason Tommy hurt you for?"

"Yeah i guess you could say that."

"You know, i asked my dad what a gay was." I took another bite. Justin stiffened. I continued. " He didn't tell me what it was but he told me me that they were a poison i should stay away from."

There was silence for a while. We just sat there with the sound of our chewing.

When he finally did speak it came out barely a whisper. "Do you think i'm a poison?"

"God no. If anything your a cure to the world. I honestly don't see why everyone thinks your so bad." I tried to explain.

He threw back his head and laughed. "A cure huh? I don't think anyone's ever told me that before. Thanks Alister." 

"What other music do you listen to?" He asked shoving the rest of his sandwich into his mouth.

"Classical."

"What that's it?"

"Pretty much. I like the emotion the instruments bring out." I finished of my food.

He stared at me wide eyed. "Alister McCloy you have not yet lived. Here." He said pulling out a small slim rectangle. "You're going to borrow my ipod and you ain't giving it back until you've listened to every song there is on there and given me feed back on every genre. There's four hundred songs total and i'll know if you listen to all of them. Next time we talk you're giving me you're opinion on country. It's one of my favourite so i expect good feed back.'"

He placed the ipod in my hand.

"Alright. Wait how will i know what genre is which?"

"Don't worry all the songs are categorized under a genre and organized in alphabetical order, just so it's easier for you."

Easier for me? "Wait you planned this?"

He smirked again and his eyes shown with mischief. " Maybe i did, maybe i didn't. See ya tomorrow Alister." He got up just as the bell rang.

.................

The rest of the day followed the usual schedule. Nothing really worth writing about.

I never ended up listening to the ipod that night. I was to busy playing piano, i played and played until my fingers got sore. I wanted to play just as perfect as Justin had. Some day i would create something just as beautiful to offer to the world. Just as Justin Dante had.

I can't wait till tomorrow.

This is me checking out.

This is me checking out.

This is me checking out.

Alister.