You save me from myself. You saved me when the darkness closed in. Today you save me when I don't feel like breathing.

I feel the hollow in my chest, keen like the absence of a thump. The emptiness burns. Threatens to spill blood on my cheeks. Always the same. Always alone. I am insatiable. I am broken.

Is it better to be numb than to drown in this fire?

Better not to feel. Better not to care. I am a rock. I am a pillar. I am a mountain. I am unreachable. I am secure. I am more than this. I am stronger alone.

I am far away where the clouds float slowly by. I am drowning in pitch, in stars further than the eye can see. I am breathing a crisp breeze to quench the ache. I am dancing with the wind, falling to the deep. I'm glimpsing the moon whose pale kiss lifts me.

Good it's going away. Forget forget. Remember the numb. Pretend pretend. The morning will come. Your blood is not leaking. Your heart is not breaking anymore.