He's three blocks away from the penthouse before he even realises it, feet pounding against the concrete as he dodges past the pedestrians blocking his way. It's purely by instinct that he's managed to end up so close to the crew again, crossing back into their territory without even thinking about it. He'd missed getting a bullet to the shoulder by pure dumb luck, jumped a fence into some suburban families back yard and hoofed it across the city with pure panic burning through his veins- and this is where he ends up?

He'd laugh if he weren't currently running for his life.

He doesn't actually need to look over his shoulder to know he's still being chased, since it's not that hard to distinguish between the frightened yells of the innocents on the street and the furious grunts that keep slipping out of the man and lady hot on his heels. They haven't caught him yet, and that's all he really cares about, so Ray just keeps sprinting down the street, heading straight for an awkward reunion- something that's probably more trouble than it's worth.

He spins left, skidding to a complete stop for a moment before he's off again, ducking through alleys with uneven steps. It's hard to keep balance and he almost trips a few times, but luck seems to be on his side today so each time he pulls himself out of it with minimal damage. A swift, sharp turn to the right, a long sprint down the sidewalk and then an over dramatic jump over a trash can that he ties together with an out of breath, "parkour!" gets him a few seconds of respite a street away from the penthouse. He flops against a brick wall, half curled in on himself with his hands on his knees, breath coming out in uneven pants.

They haven't moved- the crew, that is- he'd know if they'd packed up their shit and switched bases. He might be out, but he's not out of the loop and thankfully Tina's pretty good at getting information out of people without needing the threat of knives at her disposal. They haven't moved, so he's got pretty good odds on the fact someone will bound to be there waiting for him when he climbs the stairs and spams the call button.

It's just the question of who- and Ray finds himself pleading with fate for it not to be Michael.

He straightens himself up, throws a hurried glance over his shoulder and then lets out a loud, unabashed groan at the thought of seeing the crew again after so long. He's fucked, he realises, because it's not going to be a one-time thing. He's going to see Geoff and the old man's going to pull him into a hug. Or he's going to see Gavin and get bullied into coming upstairs to play a few rounds of Halo together.

Or he's going to see Michael, and he's going to have a heart attack there on the spot and then he'll be dead. There's no perceivable outcome where things go smoothly, and as hard as the thought is to swallow, Ray knows he just has to fucking do it.

So attempt two comes in the form of Ray biting at his cheek hard enough to draw blood, the sound of his shoes scraping across the sidewalk as he drags his feet and the mutterings of the word, "fuck," again and again. He doesn't know if he's lost his tail permanently or if they're just waiting for the perfect moment to jump him, so he can't spend all day out on the street, but he wishes he could.

Taking the steps two at a time, he pauses by the intercom and then just jams his finger onto the penthouse button violently, repeatedly.

buzz, buzz, buzz, buzzzzzzzzzz, buzz, buzz, buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Gavin! Fucking asshole, stop! Holy fuck boi, did you fucking forget your key or somethin'?" Michael's voice cuts through the air and Ray lets his hand drop, hating the way his chest does its weird little flutter at the sound of the other man's yelling. The breath he sucks in is shaky for another reason, but he ignores it because that's all that he can really do. His finger pushes speaker button and when he answers he tries not to sound like he's a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush.

"Aye, Michael. Turns out I have, dude, it's been missing for what? A year and a half now? Definitely need to get a new one, but for now, can you buzz me up?" he says, sounding way more confident than how he actually feels. "Really can't be on the street right now."

Michael doesn't answer him, and Ray's stomach almost drops out of his ass, because he didn't really consider the completely valid possibility of being ignored. He hovers there awkwardly for a moment, not sure if he should just leg it towards his own apartment or maybe Tina's, but then the door buzzes open and he slips inside- not wanting to ask twice.

It's only when he's standing in front of the penthouse door that he realises what the fuck he's doing and the nerves flare back to life. He's going to see Michael again, he's going to see his ex-best friend again after a year and a half of pining after him? He's going to look Michael in the eye and pretend that he's forgotten the last thing he said to him?

"Of course we'll keep in touch man, you can't get fucking rid of me that easily."

Yeah, he is. He can handle it.

He kicks the door twice and tucks his hands into the pockets of his jeans, waiting for Michael to let him in. Adrenaline is still somewhat pumping through his veins, but it'll fade soon enough and once he knows for sure that he's safe, he'll head back to Tina. He'll tell her that the deal flopped, he'll tell her how fucking cool he looked during his getaway and he'll tell her that he talked to Michael for the first time in over a year. She'll be... she'll have mixed emotions, that's the best he can say. She'll probably call him an idiot to be honest.

He looks up when the door swings open and doesn't bother waiting for Michael to invite him in, he shoulders his way through the doorway and catches sight of two pairs of eyes watching him from over the top of the couch. Michael lets out a huff, but Ray deliberately doesn't pay him much attention. Instead, he shoulders off his jacket and offers Jeremy and Matt a small wave.

"Hey, assholes. Thanks for letting me up, I needed a piss," he declares, dropping his jacket on the kitchen bench before retreating down the hallway towards the bathroom without another word. He does not need to piss, not at all, but he doesn't think he could stomach the idea of standing there while three pairs of eyes stared at him. It's a bit nerve-wracking to be back here, a place he used to call home, especially since it hasn't changed a bit. He doesn't feel like he belongs, which he probably doesn't, but it's too late to leave now.

A hand on his shoulder stops him from slipping into the bathroom and hiding in there for an hour, and when he spins around he's met with the sight of Michael's brown eyes watching him closely.

"Hey," he mumbles and Michael's eyes soften.

"Man, if I wasn't incredibly happy to see you, I'd kick your fucking ass," he replies and Ray can't help but snort. Michael doesn't hesitate to pull him into a hug and Ray goes along willingly, although his heart does skip a beat at the way his arms tightly wrap around him.

"I guess I'd deserve it," he replies and the light laugh he gets in return from Michael is just a little bit too much for his gay heart to handle. They pull away from each other, but Michael doesn't give Ray the opportunity to miss the closeness since his hand slips into Ray's and it takes all of his control not to look down at their hands clasped together.

They've slipped back into their old selves so easily that Ray can't help but let out a breath of relief.

"Yeah, you would dickhead. But to what do we owe the pleasure, huh?" Michael asks and he glances back over his shoulder. Ray follows his line of sight; Jeremy's in the kitchen, in perfect position to watch them and with the way Michael turns slightly pink, Ray feels like he's out of the loop somehow.

"I was being chased, deal gone wrong. But you should have seen me, Michael; I looked like a fucking action hero, parkouring all over the place," he replies and Michael rolls his eyes. Ray grins at him and then suddenly he's being pulled out of the hallway, a quiet, "come on," offered as the only explanation why. But he lets Michael lead him past Jeremy and into the living room and then watches Michael sit down on the couch. He can take a hint, so he drops down onto the couch beside him, twisting his body enough so that he can kick his legs up onto Michael's lap, who glares back at him briefly before giving in and resting his hands on Ray's legs.

When Jeremy shuffles back in with a water bottle and a look on his face that Ray can't decipher, Ray realises something's up- and when he looks at Michael his suspicions are confirmed. The other man is glaring at both Jeremy and Matt as his thumb lazily rubs circles into Ray's ankle and it's honestly ridiculous.

"So how have things been, you know... with the crew?" Ray asks and three pairs of eyes snap back to him. His distraction seems to work, cause Michael loses his glare and Jeremy and Matt switch their focus onto him.

"Uh, we've just been planning different heists, I had my own one a few months ago," Jeremy replies, shrugging and then he suddenly snaps his fingers, "Oh! We settled shit with FakeHouse, plus Lindsay's in charge now and we've been trying to get in contact with a few other crews!"

"Yeah, we're branching out," Matt adds, leaning forward to grab the Xbox controller lying discarded on the coffee table. Ray tracks his movement with his eyes and then glances over towards the television, only now realising they must have been playing Minecraft before he showed up. Something in Jeremy's sentence sticks with him though and he looks back at Michael, who's watching him closely.

"Lindsay's in charge? What happened to Geoff?" he asks and there's just a little bit too much vulnerability in the statement that he doesn't appreciate.

"Geoff's fine, Ray," Michael murmurs and Ray feels himself relax, "he's just fucking old as dirt and doesn't want to have to deal with all the serious shit anymore. He's technically still our boss, but Lindsay can overrule him if she wants, not that he listens."

"Can't teach an old dog new tricks," Jeremy mutters and everyone snorts.

"When are the rest of the guys getting back," he asks and all three of them shrug, to which Ray rolls his eyes. "Fucking helpful, thanks, assholes," he mumbles and they laugh. He knows he can't hang around forever, he's not a part of the crew anymore and this isn't his home. He'll have to head back to his apartment sooner or later, but for now, it's nice pretending that things are still the same as they were before he left.

The rest of the crew get home an hour later when Michael has somehow manoeuvred them both so that Ray's basically in his lap, and Matt and Jeremy have switched games three times. There's a bit of awkward silence when they pile through the door and catch sight of Ray squished against Michael, all four of them playing drawful 2. Enough that Ray considers standing up and bolting through the door, just to avoid the tension- but Michael's arms slither around his waist as if he can read the smaller boy's thoughts and so Ray stays. He tips his head back and meets Ryan's questioning eyes and salutes him before looking back at the television screen.

"Should we... are we interrupting something?" Geoff mutters and Matt and Jeremy both laugh in unison and that's honestly creepy.

"No, Geoff," Matt says.

"Nah, you give them too much credit," adds Jeremy. Ray feels Michael tense beside him but when raises an eyebrow Michael just shakes him off.

Things settle after that, Ryan filters off towards his room and comes back five minutes later sans his skull mask and face paint. Jack settles into the couch opposite them with a small grin and Geoff lowers himself beside her, tucking himself up against her side. Gavin heads straight for Jeremy and both him and Michael tell them to get a room the second Gavin kisses him. It's so comfortable coming back, and part of him doesn't understand why he waited for so long to do it. Maybe he was just afraid that they'd treat him differently, maybe he was afraid that he'd be unwelcomed. But he's not, and he realises he was right, it's not going to be a one-time thing.

He's going to come back, he's going to stay for dinner and crash on the couch. He's going to get addicted to Michael's touch again after being starved of it for so long, he's going to kid himself into thinking he could come back. That he could come back.

It's that thought that makes him disentangle himself from Michael's arms, pulling himself up onto his feet with a huff. Everyone's eyes shoot towards him but he just grins and levels a thumb towards the door. He needs to leave, being with them is just filling his head with impossible fantasies.

"I better be heading off, gotta let Tina know the shit that went down today," he says and he's never seen seven faces all flash with disappointment until the moment he lets his words slip out. They don't try and stop him, though, they just all nod and stand up to say goodbye, letting him leave without a fight. Part of him almost wants a fight, part of him wants Gavin to whine for one more game and Michael to pin him to the couch.

He ignores that part though, because that's a dangerous thought.

He grabs his jacket from the kitchen bench and slips it on, pulling open the front door to slip out and it's only then that he realises he has a second shadow. Michael's behind him when he glances over his shoulder and the other man gestures for him to keep moving. Michael can follow him if he wants, it doesn't make a difference to him, he tells himself, even though his stomach does a little flip at the thought.

They don't talk until Ray is pushing his way out of the building and Michael is hot on his heels. He spins around, ready to say goodnight and goodbye, but Michael beats him to it.

"You'll come back, yeah?" he asks and Ray freezes. "I don't think I'll be able to handle it if this is the last time I get to see you. I know I won't be able to handle if I let myself think this is it, only for you to come back again a year later. So, I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"I mean..." Ray shrugs, "I can try, dude. But I can't make any promises-"

"No. That's not good enough," Michael spits back and Ray sucks in a breath. "You either come back, or- or you don't," he finishes and Ray grimaces. He doesn't know if he has this in him again, doesn't know if he could come back and see Michael- touch Michael- and be able to go home again alone. He knows, deep down, that being a part of the crew again is nothing more than a pipe dream. He's not a FAKE anymore, and he likes it that way- no matter how easy it would be to slip back into his old skin again.

"I'm not supposed to be here," he mumbles and Michael's face morphs into one of confusion. "I left," he continues, "I left and I'm not coming back, not like that again Michael. Fuck man, I love the crew, I love all of you guys- I love you, Michael- but I'm not coming back again. So that means I'm not supposed to be here, that means that every time I come back I'm just that little more tempted to stay."

He falls silent, not quite sure if he wants to hear Michael's response. He doesn't know how to fix things, now that he's gone and complicated things again. If he had just stayed away, took a right instead of a left and just gone to Tina's, he wouldn't have to face this hollowing sense of homesickness that he has no right to feel.

"You love me?" Michael asks and Ray looks up at him, forehead crinkling because when did he let that slip- fuck. FUCK. "As in, you're in love with me?" he asks and Ray doesn't want to be here anymore. His heart is beating too fast and he can feel his poker face slipping away, he might pass out? This wasn't a part of the plan, this wasn't a part of the fucking plan. He can't lie to Michael, the other man will see right through him and honestly, saying yes isn't a much better answer. He's screwed, fucked, finished, done.

Michael must see the answer written on his face because he pulls back slightly as if Ray just slapped him. He levels a finger between the two of them, pointing it shakily at Ray's chest and he says, "Okay, okay, we're going to talk about that in a minute-"

"Oh God no," Ray mumbles and Michael shakes his head.

"Fuck yes, we are. But, but first... you know you don't have to be in the crew to hang out with us, right Ray? You don't have to pull heists with us and go on jobs, you don't have to stay with us twenty-four seven. You can stay, but you don't have to stay," he replies and Ray frowns.

"But... that's not how it works Michael," he says, "I can already feel it, I can already see it in everyone's eyes- even yours. How easy it would be to come back, how expected it would be- there's no way you'll all be able to handle me staying for a month and then leaving for three? There's no way because sooner or later you'll resent me for leaving. You'll resent me for not staying like I used to."

"Ray." Michael takes a step forwards and it takes all of Ray's willpower not to move back, "Having you for one month is better than never having you again," he whispers, "and we'll get used to it. We know we can't keep you here, we know that expecting any different is just stupid. We'll miss you when you're gone, fuck yeah we will, but at least we'll know this time that you're coming back. You'll come back to us, you'll come back to me."

Ray sucks in a breath, tilting his head back slightly. It's too tempting, every honey dipped word that slips from Michael's lips is too tempting. He'd convinced himself after he left that he couldn't have the best of both worlds- it was either the crew or freedom. It was hell to choose, it was torture to walk away from his family- to take estrangement without a fight and just be free. To be able to leave for Italy without worrying if the crew thought him to be dead, to be able to take a job without clearing it with Geoff first.

Freedom was nice, freedom was everything he'd hoped it would be- but it demanded a sacrifice and he'd paid it.

"Michael," he begs, but for what he doesn't quite know. Michael seems to understand, though, because he closes the distance between them and pulls Ray into his arms, tucking his chin into the crook of his neck. His hands rub up and down his spine, his heartbeat is just a little bit too fast, but it's everything Ray needs.

"You can stay," he whispers, "or you can leave. You can do both. But you can't do neither. You just have to choose what you want Ray, you just need to choose."

Now that one's easy. He could answer that in his sleep.

"I want you."

Michael sucks in a breath and Ray lets his eyes slip closed, listening to the way Michael's heart beats faster at his words. "You can have me. You already have me..." he admits, falling silent for a moment. When he speaks again, Ray's almost completely sure that he mishears him at first. "I love you too, you know."

"I didn't, so thank you..." he replies and he doesn't have to look at Michael's face to know he rolls his eyes. "Hey, let's go back upstairs, yeah? You've still got that double bed right?" he asks and Michael pulls back enough to catch his eyes.

"Yeah, I do."

"Tina can wait till morning. I'm exhausted, dude," he mumbles, "let's go to bed." The look of understanding that flashes across Michael's gaze lets him know all that he needs to and he smiles.

Both. He can do both.