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AN: Some parts are taken from actual conversations. Which parts....... Well... that's a secret. ;)

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"Greetings all" The narrator said as he strolled along the dark streets of the village. The streetlamps gave off an orange glow and in the distance upbeat music could be heard. "It was the start of the weekend and all the villagers went to the tavern to celebrate."

"Oye Fred! Are you coming inside or what?" Doragon shouted to the bard, and also narrator. "Snips just opened a new barrel of mead!"

"I'm coming!"

Inside the tavern a raucous party was going on. The village dragons had taken their humanoid forms to party with the other villagers. There was a group huddled in the middle loudly cheering. It seemed that Snips had challenged her husband to another drinking contest.

"Come on Retro!! You can do it.......... This time.......eh.... probably." Ori tried to encourage.

"Nope. Not going to happen." Chief Asier laughed. "The poor guy is already swaying.

"I still don't know why those two still hold drinking contests." The Cosmic Dragon turned bartender mumbled. "We all know who's going to win."

"We're hoping for a miracle." Arizona, Deathwing's son-in-law, whispered. His wife Onyxia gave him a yeah-right look as she cheered for Snips along with Alyssa and Batty who was perched on the witch's head.

"Retro you better not lose! I got ten fishes riding on you." Moon shouted as the crowd cheered for Snips who downed another shot.

"You hear that honey!" Retro said as his speech slurred a bit. "This time I'm going to win!"

"Hah in your dreams!" Snips quipped back while refilling her shot glass. It wasn't too long thereafter that there was a 'THUMP' followed by a groaning crowd as Snips shot up gleefully. "See I told you! You are such a lightweight." She smugly said as Alyssa poured a sobering potion down Retro's throat.

"I'm not a lightweight!" Retro protested as he picked himself up from the floor.

"Right" Snips mumbled sarcastically as the group laughed.

Soon David and Doragon came back with more kegs. "Now that we've established who is the better drinker.... Let's get this party started!!" Doragon shouted eliciting cheers from the partygoers.

"One of these days I will win!!" Retro declared.

"Oh hush you!" Snips laughed.

"Hush my ass!" Retro mumbled which in turn caused Snips to quip "I like your ass." Which caused the room to ooh and aah as well as catcall, making Retro blush.

"Why me!!!" He wailed as a mug of mead was pushed in front of him.

"Because you're easy honey" Snips told him with a wink.

"She's got you there." Attero told Retro as he sat near the couple.

"See!!" Snips said as she downed a mug.

"Egh!" Retro mumbled. "Screw you"

"Oh we will. For a very long.... Long time." Snips leaned over and whispered in her husband's ear causing him to go as beet red as Attero's scales. Retro awkwardly looks around and then spots something new in the tavern. "Is that a stripper pole?!"

Snips looks to where her husband points and smiles. "I'd nearly forgotten about those."

"Wait why do we even have a stripper pole in the tavern?" Moon now asked as he was a little tipsy.

"Why shouldn't we have a stripper pole in the tavern?!" Onyxia now asked. "In fact, hon, why don't you show them how it's done." She suggested while looking expectantly at Arizona.

"Eh.... me?" Arizona mumbled as he looked at the metal pole.

"Yes you." Onyxia said as she got everyone's attention. Arizona blushed as he made his way to the pole as the people, dragons and the occasional chicken cheered.

Suddenly music started playing as Arizona started to awkwardly dance after taking a shot of whiskey.

"Welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games. We got everything you want honey, we know the names. We are the people that can find whatever you may need. If you got the money honey we got your disease."

Arizona swayed to the beat and started dancing more provocatively as the alcohol did away with his inhibitions. By the time the chorus of the song came around he was already swinging from the pole as the crowd, mainly the ladies cheered.

"WOOOHOOO!!" Arizona shouted as the song finished and he was met with applause.

"So honey you're up next!" Snips stated as Retro whirled to look at her in shock. Ori started filling up his mug again with mead and told him to drink up.

"SHOW US SOME SKIN!!" Snips shouted as the room cheered as Retro, after chugging down his drink, walked up to the stage.

'I wonder what song Batty will put on this time.' Retro thought as he watched the little village bat flutter to the sound system. A familiar beat filled the tavern as the partygoers encouraged Retro.

"Na-Na-Na come on, Na-Na-Na come on. Na-Na-Na-Na-Na come on. Na-Na-Na come on, come on, come on." Hips began to sway as Retro blew a kiss to his wife. "You wanted a show honey!" he shouted over the music. "I'll give you a show!"

"Na-Na-Na-Na come on, Na-Na-Na come on. Na-Na-Na-Na-Na come on. Na-Na-Na come on, come on, come on, Na-Na-Na-Na." The crowd laughed as Retro started swaying his hips provocatively.

"Yeah baby YEAH!!" Snips shouted.

"Feels so good being bad (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh). There's no way I'm turning back (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh). Now the pain is my pleasure. 'Cause nothing could measure (Oh, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh). Love is great, love is fine (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh). Out of box, out of line (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh). The affliction of the feeling. Leaves me wanting more (Oh, Oh, Oh-Oh-Oh)" Retro swung along the pole before taking off his shirt.

"'Cause I may be bad but, I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones. But chains and whips excite me." Retro, now also accompanied on stage by Arizona, Moon and Attero, took off more clothing as the crowded cheered them on.

"Well it seems we are in for a crazy night." The narrator stated as he watched the show.

"You know the crazy part?" Alyssa asked as she and Batty stood next to Fred who quirked an eyebrow.

"What?" The narrator had to ask out of curiosity.

"There wasn't any real alcohol in those kegs of mead they drank." The witch and Batty laughed as they were both sporting wicked smirks.

---------The End------------