(Jeremy's POV)

My Dad, and Michael's moms begged us to come down for winter break so we did. Michael was currently pulling into Mamas and Inas drive way.

Me and Michael knocked on the door with the limited amount of stuff we bought in our hands. The door opened and we were immediately crushed in a hug by Mama and Ina. Me and Michael laughed.

"Why do you boys have your stuff?" Ina asked as me and Michael walked in and towards the basement aka, Michals old room.

"Yeah we thought you going to your dad Jeremy." Mama said. Michael growled at the thought of me staying with my dad I giggled and let out the frist thought that came to mind.

"My Daddy said no." I told them. I flushed as I realised what I said, droping my clothes that I had started putting away. Evryone else bust out laughing as i stood there face flushed.

"THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!" I exclaimed. Yet everyone ignored me and continued to laugh.

"Whatever you say Jeremy, well if you and Mickey-poo decide to do anything  turn on some music or keep it down we don't wanna hear any moaning." Mama demanded.

"Of course Mama." Michael replied. And with that they were gone.

Michael slammed me up against the wall. I squeaked.

"Daddy siad no hmmm" Michael purred. I whimpered.

"Mickey not right now ok. Please." I begged. Michael smiled softly.

"Sorry baby." Michael apologized moving away from me. I sighed. "But... can I get a hug?" Michael asked nervously. I giggled, and wrapped my arms around Michael. Michael's always seemed to need more aftercare than me.

I breathed in Michael's sent that I loved and had his warmth engulfe me. I let myself get lost in it and felt myself sink away from reality as the ground dissipated. Though I wasn't scared cuss Michael had me and that was all that mattered.

"I love you so much baby." Michael muttered. I felt him kiss my neck, it wasn't lust filled or rough, it was soft and affectionate, it told me he actually loved me and really cared.

"Love you to Mickey." I mumbled shifting subconsciously.

I suddenly felt a strong urge to slip. I whispered.

"What's wrong cupcake." Damnit that nick name did not help.

"Slip." I mumbled. Michael kissed my neck again. Before pulling away.

"Well let's get ready so we can get back and you can slip, how about that." Michael offered. I nodded.

Me and Michael were standing in the bathroom, he was behind me hugging my waist. He began giving me butterfly kisses, but they just barely touched my skin. And it tickled so much!

"Mi-Mickey st-stop!"I laughed. Michael kept doing it though, holding me in place as I tried to squirm away. And then I saw my reflection, and I look pathetic, my smile looked horrible, my eyes were brimming with tears from laughing so hard. I felt tears of embarrassment strem down my face.

"Mi-Michael stop!" Michael stopped immediately seeing my tears.

"You ok sanggol?" He asked softly as I frantically wiped my tears.

"Ye-yeah-h I'm fi-ine." I studdered, as I relaxed back into Michael. I looked anywhere but Michael and the mirror.

"Now your lieing to me?" Michael asked sounding hurt.

"I'm sorry." I apologized. I looked in the mirror, hating who I saw looking back at me. I looked horrible, my face tear stained and red. Michael was staring at me with curiosity?Michael abruptly let go of my waist. He gently pushed me back against the wall. Michael leaned into my ear.

"I need you to listen to what I say ok?" Michael whispered to me.

"O-ok." I replied not wanting to hurt Michael more then I already had.

"Ok... do you trust me?" Michael asked.

"Yes." I said my voice shakey.

"Ok, good. Well I need you to listen to me, and believe everything I'm about to say to you, cuss I'm about to tell you nothing but the truth ok?" Michael purred.

"Ok." I replied. Michael gently rubbed my side as his face stayed where it was and I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Close you eyes." Michael damaned. I did as he asked. "Jeremy you are beautiful~ I dont care what anyone else says your amazing. I know you don't think that but I need you to listen and believe me. You have imperfections, but there also perfect in there own way. I love you Jeremy and I need you to love yourself for me ok?" Michael whispered.

My face was bright red I took in what he said. Michael switched us so I could see myself in the mirror and Michael was behind me hugging my waist again.

"What dont you like about yourself baby." Michael damaned. I looked at self in the mirror.

"I'm ugly." I stated.

"How? What about you is ugly?" Michael asked. I hadn't thought about that. I looked at myself and my red tear stained face didnt look as bad as I thought. I looked hard and found nothing.

"Um..." I stammered looking down, a lot of us, don't like how we look, but we dint really know what we don't like. Or we do and dont realize, we're not as bad as we think.Michael chuckled.

"It worked, baby your beautiful~" michael cooded. I blushed more.

"You- you are to." I replied not knowing what to say exactly. Michael smiled.

"Thanks Mahal."

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Me and Michael were outside my dad's house. I had a new found confidence. Me and Michael's hands were intertwined as we stood waiting. I had just knocked. The door opened.

"Hey boys!" My dad greeted a cheery smile on his face. Michael squeezed my hand almost protectively, but he still shot dad a smile.

"Hey dad!" I exclaimed, my dad looked back at Michael's car and looked at us I looked away, my smile became nervous. I knew dad wanted me and Michael to stay at his house but I didnt want to... and neither did Michael after last year.

"Uh.. where are you guy's thing's?" Dad questioned his smile becoming forced.

"There at mine." Michael stated. He got a lot more over protective after my dad hit me, and now he didn't seem to respect my dad like he used to. Witch, is reasonable.

"Why, you guys are staying here for hanukah right?" My dad questioned. I decided to jump on that before Michael did.

"We didnt feel comfortable after last year, so we're gonna stay at Michael's...." I trailed off, feeling guilt pour into my stomach as my dad's cheery smile fell.

"Oh! Uh ok.... that fine I get it..." my dad also trailed off. My dad loved hanukkah and I knew he wasn't gonna take it well but I didn't think it would feel this bad... and Michael was doing worse, he had a tight grip on my wait.

"Um, I would stay but Michael's gonna have to say yes, and um, I don't want you freaking out like last year, we're just kinda scared... to stay here." I explained. Dads face shot up.

"Michael's stopping you!?" He asked, he seemed to get mad.

"No he isn't, I'm scared to stay here like I said, but I want michael with me so if he says he doesn't want to stay I'm going with him." I corrected.

"So your just following him? Like- your the sub?" I felt myself flush as dad said that. Michael's grip righted a little I gently nugged him he looked at me immediately understanding and loosened his grip.

"No, me and Jer-Jeremy have slept in the same bed and so it'll be hard not to, and I'm kinda- like no offense but o dont want Jer getting hurt again so I wanna stay with him, and have other reasons.." Michael explained.

I knew what Michael was talking about. He got his medicine. (He did have clinical depression, a thing called persist depressive disorder) but it didn't do all the work. They were starting on his abondoment issues and said we would have to go to couple therapy for the dpendency. He also had days were it would seem like a bad day, but lead to an episode.

But again the pills didn't fix it all, he had to talk to someone and had a bed time, he had a daily log he had to write in in case an episode starts so we know why and writes in his diary. And he needed me around, or.. well we don't know, and don't wanna find out.

My dad still nodded.

"Ok so if I act ok today will you guys stay here? You can both stay here ok, I won't mind." Me and Michael nodded and walked in as my dad stepped aside.

Connor, Evan, and Jared tackled me and Michael in a hug the second we were in the house, we said hi to Heidi, then we all (Connor, Evan, Jared, Michael and me) went upstairs after. We all talked and laughed, then Connor asked to talk to Michael privately, and no one questioned it.

(Michaels POV)

*trigger warning, talk about abuse, and depression stop at the next * for when it stops*

Connor lead me out of the room.

"So, like hows your... depression been? You get a diagnosis?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, I did.." I replied, looking away.

"And that is?" Connor asked with a laugh at the end.

"Persist depressive disorder." I repeated, I've heard it so meany times since the diagnosis. It's so weird to think I have it. I never thought that I would be clincly depressed.

"Oh shit so like what, you on medicine?" Connor asked.

"Yeah." I said.

"Is it working?" Connor asked.

"Yeah it working, I still have nightmares about my dad and shit though." I told him.

"Well can't they fix that?" Connor asked.

"There trying to, but I mean I dont know if they can fix it. He fucking beat and raped me for years."

"Dude, dont say that, the nightmares will go away eventually." Connor comforted, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks man." I replied. Connor sighed letting his hand fall off my shoulder.

"And dont say it like that, it's not a casual thing..." Connor said, his gaze down casting to the floor.

"It is casual though. Man, the shit that's happened to me and Jer- its a normal thing to talk about! I metion something like that at least once a day." I exclaimed.

"Well, you shouldn't have to...." Connor replied. A silence fell over us.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to blow up like that, it just get me pissed off what shitty lives me and Jer have had." I apologized.

"Yeah it gets me pissed to, but like when is the depression gonna go away?" Connor asked, I shrugged.

"Might never go away. I mean they said its probably genetic and from trauma, and my brain being a piece of shit so it might never, who knows." I explained.

"Ok, that sucks. But you wanna get back to evryone else?"

"Yeah." I agreed.

*end of trigger warning.*

Me and Jer were cuddling in his room when dinner was called. We got up walking downstairs. We sat down at the table. We ate and things were going good. Then Mr.Heere pulled me aside.

Now over the summer Mr.Heere did this a lot and it always ended in me leaving to go cry because he would tell me that I wasn't good enough for Jeremy and shit like that. It didn't help that I would have to drag myself over here during an episode and then to hear that did... a lot. So I was nervous.

"Ok so um.... I heard what you and Connor were talking about." Mr.Heere started. Shit he's gonna yell at me for being depressed. I know he is. Mr.Heere put a hand on my shoulder, I flinched but tried not to show it.

"And, I'm sorry that happened, and I'm sorry about hos I treated you over the summer, I was stressed, ya'know? I didn't wanna lose Heidi so I freaked out and I took it out on you. I'm sorry for that Michael." Mr.Heere apologized. I looked at him for a couple of seconds. Wasn't expecting that. Then I realized I had to reply.

"Oh! Its uh, its fine!" I exclaimed. Mr.Heere smiled and nodded. And I thought about it wouldn't be to bad to celebrate hanukkah with the heere's.

"And me and Jer are gonna stay here." I declared. Mr.Heere smiled brightly.

"That's amazing! But for tonight you two should go back to your moms place you stuff is there and it's late." Mr.Heere reasoned. I nodded. I thanked Mr.Heere for Jeremy and went back to my moms house.

I think this year will be fun.

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AN: Yayyyyyyyyyyy

Word count:2159