Tw: cutting and abuse
(Jeremy's POV)

My dad has a boat. We go on it at least once a year and ever since me and Micha were in kindergarten or... Since our first 4th of July together we have all, went on my dad's boat. Now when Micha goes the only places you will find him is inside the boat in the proclaimed "basement" of the boat by dad or the top of the boat with me. Now Michael isn't scared of falling in he's scared of someone pushing or throwing him in because when we were in 1st grade we were on my dad's boat and Michael keep asking when we were gonna be at the swimming spot and his dad came and was getting sick of it.

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Flashback

Michael was leaning over the edge of the boat and we were having a great time when his dad walked up to him

    "You wanna go swimming?" He questioned.

    "yeah I can't wait! " Michael said with enthusiasm. His dad nodded before picking him up and throwing him into the water with the boats motors still running at full speed. I jumped in after him and herd Michael's dad laughing as I jumped off screaming

    "MICHAEL!" I doggie paddled over to him.

    "you ok Mickey?" I asked. He was crying and splashing. "Hey, Hey, Hey clam down you ok just float like MaMa and Ina taught us." I told him and the there was a slash next to me as I heard screaming from the boat. I turned and it was what me and Michael at the time had deemed as the portable life vest.I grabbed it then Michael's hand. We were pulled to the boat by my dad we got on and he got us towels and we went and sat at the corner of the dock... or outside part of the boat. He picked up the ladder and pulled it up.

Flashback end

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    And so now Michael only goes on the dock for food or drink or to get on top the boat with me. We had just got on the boat we had my Dad, Heidi, Michael's Mom's, Evan, Conner and one of Michael's Cousin's and a girl he bought along. But he knew the top of the boat was ours.

    "Michaelllllllll~ come onnnn~ I wanna go on the dock!" I wined trying to get Michael to come into the dock with me.

    "Noooooo~" He echoed. I got in his lap. He was sitting on the seat to the table inside the boat.

    "No one's gonna push you off Mickey, your dad's not here ok? And I really don't think anyone could pick you up" I whispered to him. He chuckled before sighing.

    "Fine but I'm coming back in later." He said giving in.

    "Yay!" I exclaimed hoping a bit in his lap lighting up.

    "Ok, ok, move so I can get up. Plz." He said chuckling.

    I giggled getting out of his lap pecking his lips once he was up. We walked out onto the dock or I dragged Michael onto the dock.I walked up to a seat I had next to the edge of the boat. Michael stood behind it though even though I had one set up right next to mine.

    "Sit down Mikey!" I told him. He shook his head. "Come on you'll be fine!" I tried to convince him.

    "Fine." He said sitting down next to me. I looked at him and watched the wind blow his hair back and the sun make his eyes twinkle. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

     "AHHHHHH!" I shrieked. "Oh my God I will fucking kill you Robert!" Michael yelled at Robert who was the one who scared us.

    Robert just laughed.

     "You two love birds are adorable and all but you took my seat Heere." Robert says. "So move. It." He demands. "Fine." I say standing up and moving into Michael's lap.

Me and Micha had a good time, out on the boat it was annoying seeing Robert making out with his girlfriend all the time but other wise it was fun. But when me and Michael went into the top of the boat he look oddly sad, I just wish I knew why.

(Michael's POV)

Last year was horrible. Of course I came in the boat last year but I had no fun, it's a tradition for the Mell and Heere house holds to come on this boat once a year so I had to come. (Thanks to my mom's) But the thing is that Christine came so I knew I was gonna be ignored but I didn't think it was gonna be as bad as it was.

Flashback
(Last year's boat trip)

"Thanks Mickey!" Jer said happily as I put his stuff down on the bottom of the boat I carried It so he could carrie Christine's stuff.

    "No problem bro!" I replied. After that like expected I was ignored and it was kinda my fault cuss I didn't try and make him notice me I just stayed in the basement.

The time came for us to go swimming and I didn't get in and usually that's my favorite time of the boating trip so now everyone was freaked out, my mama came down stairs(or the under deck) to check on me but I told her I was fine.

I Went in top of the boat with Jeremy and Christine and I couldn't talk to them cause they were to wrapped up in each other. And I remember that at one point I was right on the edge like my feet were dangling of over the edge of the boat you could hear the waves, feel the breeze and I turned and they were kissing and it was like I didn't exist. I looked over the edge and thought:I could jump. I pictured me taking off my life jacket and jumping then I wouldn't have to deal with this or anything it would be a worry free land I could be actually done with it all...

I felt a hand push me forwards as the memories from my dad came back, I shrieked then I was pulled back and could hear laughing.

"Hey why'd you do that to him!?" Christine asked Jeremy. I looked down.

    "Cuss It so easy! Hey man, but seriously, Michael are you ok cuss you looked like you were legit about to jump." Jeremy said.

    "Yeah I'm fine just sorta out of it." I explained.I

    "Ok well we can talk about later ok?" Jer offered.

    "Ok." I replied. "I think Imma head down now k?" I said to Jeremy and Christine .

    "Ok." Jeremy replied his arm around Christine.

    "But you gonna come back up for the fireworks right?" Christine asked.

    "I don't know well see." I said. I told Chris about all the things me and Jer usually do on 4th of july, so she probably thinks that Jer is gonna want me up here to but as long as she's here he'll be happy.

I Went down stairs and didn't come back up I stayed down there and would have cut if I wasn't so scared of making a mess of Mr.Heere's floor with all the blood so I opted for taking one of the pencils from my backpack and dragging it down my arm when it to go be to much. Later Jeremy came down.

"Hey man." Jeremy greeted as he came down stairs. I put the pencil down next to my thigh and yanked my sleeve down. I

    "Sup" I said wiping my face.

    "You good? I mean they said dinner was done a couple minutes ago and you didn't come up. I asked your mom she said you said you weren't hungry. And-" he stopped suddenly. He raised my chin. Z"Were you crying!?!" He asked, seemingly panicking.I

     "No" I replied.

    "Then why are there tear steaks on your face?!" He asked. I stayed silent. "Look... go to the bathroom wash your face and then come up, we can all go to the top of the boat and watch the fireworks ok?" He offered.

    "no I wouldn't want to get in the way of you and Chris." I said declining.

    "Well... I don't want you down here crying Mike! I might have a girlfriend but you still my best friend, my player one." He said.

I smiled at his words. I sighed giving in.

     "Ok fine player two, but don't be all lovey dovey with Chris while I'm up there." I said standing up. He smiled at me. "Ok man see you up there in 10?" He suggested. "10" I conformed.And with that he was gone.

Despite my request they were all over each other. I stayed focused on the fireworks, as best I could. I turned around and they were kissing. Like in it. She was almost in his lap. Tears welled in my eyes. I hoped down. On the edge I was at there was a small part of the boat ,was a ledge that we used to get up there and one wrong move I would have slipped, I would have been in the water I didn't care, I got onto the main part of the boat and went straight back down stairs. As the fireworks finished I could hear.

"They'll tell the story of tonight!" Being sung. Me and Jer did that when the fireworks went off cuss Hamilton. And he didn't even notice I was gone or he did but didn't care. I cried. For a while. Staying silent as possible.

I picked up one of the pencils and stabbed it in my skin as hard as possible, dragging it down not caring about the mess something to let the emotions out. (Ok, present Michael here, and it just so happens this 4th of July I was having what I now know as and episode on the day/week they bought me out. witch is a why it took such a toll on me) After I realized what I had done, I quickly cleaned up. Jeremy came down After a bit.

"Hey man where'd you go I thought you went to the bathroom!? And then I didn't want to leave Chrissy up there by herself." Jeremy explained.

    "Yeah man sorry I just didn't feel well." I replied.

    "Oh! Well what do think is wrong?! Are you like seasick, oh no that'd be bad-!" I cut off his anxious rambling.

    "I'm fine Jer!" I said, forcing a chuckle at his worries. He nodded.

     "Well did you eat anything yet?" He questioned. I looked down filling with shame, Jer knew about how I don't eat when I'm upset.

"Man, what's up with you? You've been a lot quieter lately and distant....." He bit his lip. "Are having one of those things again?" He asked. I've always had this thing since 6th grade, where I'd get sad and anti-social for like a 2 weeks or so, and Jeremy being Jeremy, knows.

"Yeah" I confirmed guilt clear in my voice.

    "Well you should have said something!" Jeremy exclaimed.

    "I know." I mumbled. Jeremy sighed. Then we heard "Jeremy!" From up stairs,

    "one minute Chris!" Jeremy yelled back. He turned to me, "I'm gonna go get you some food, ok, I'll be back then I'm gonna go with Chrissy, I'll tell everyone to leave you alone. " He explained.

"Ok." I replied then he ran off.

The rest of the night only got worse I couldn't stop thinking about how I was worrying him and being a burden. I had to call Rich and Jake at 3 in the morning cuss I forgot my sleeping pills and couldn't sleep.

End of flashback.

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"Michael?" I heard from behind me. I turned.

    "Yeah?" I encouraged.

    "You ok?" Jeremy asked.

    "Yeah." I assured him.

I bet is gonna be fun.

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AN:I will have to make a part 2. Yay! Or I'll post 2 in one day I have a feeling the next will be short.

Word count:2012