This is terrible. Don't torture yourself.

--

"...to..ruto...NARUTO!!! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?" Sakura Haruno smacked the blonde Uzumaki in the head.

"Sorry," Naruto said quietly.

"Hmph, whatever," Sakura crossed her arms. "Listen to Kakashi sensei when he's talking, you baka." But then she blinked. Quiet. Naruto was quiet.

She stared at him with concern in her eyes. Now that she thought about it, he's been acting weird all day. She looked over to her Uchiha teammate and sensei who gave her a slight nod, telling her that they noticed.

"N-Naruto..." she began.

"Hm?" Naruto looked up.

"N-Nothing, it's just...do you want to go for BBQ after the training?" Sakura asked.

A bright grin made its way to Naruto's face. "REALLY!?!?! LET'S START TRAINING NOW, DATTEBAYO!!!"

They blinked at his enthusiasm and mentally shrugged as the concern faded away from their eyes. Maybe they're just overthinking it. Naruto's probably just thinking about some stupid stuff like eating ramen just now.

"Well, let's start training then! I'll give you a brief explanation about what we're going to do today, Naruto." Kakashi informed.

A chorus of "Hai, sensei!" was heard from the training grounds.

Naruto POV

When the concern in their eyes faded away, a pang of sadness hit me. I didn't want them to find out my true self, I didn't want to drop my mask, but somehow I wanted them to keep asking me if I'm okay, to let me know that they care...

No, what am I saying, of course they care. They're my teammates.

'Teammates arranged by other people...they're just forcing themselves to care about you, you fool. Deep inside, they hate you. They hate you for the demon, the monster you are...as much as you'd hate to admit it...it's true, isn't it?'

...They care.

'They don't.'

They do.

'They hate you.'

They don't...

'You're a monster...'

I'm not...........

'A demon.'

Maybe................

'Worthless trash.'

Maybe I am?

Crack.

"He came in to buy some white roses for his- Oh? Sasuke-kun?" Ino's eyes widen at the sight of her crush in the BBQ restaurant.

"Oh hi, Sasuke-san, Naruto, Sakura-san!" Choji greeted. Naruto merely waved.

"What a drag...you're here too..." Shikamaru sighed.

"What are you guys doing here?" Sakura asked. She glared at Ino when their eyes met.

"Oh, hi you guys. Hi, Kakashi," Asuma walked over to them. "Sorry, I was at the toilet. We're having a small one-week-missions-complete-party."

"From Shikamaru's wallet," Ino smirked. "You guys wanna join too?"

"Troublesome..." Shikamaru grumbled.

"Sure!" Sakura chirped. "Come on, Sasuke-kun!"

Sasue hn'ed and sat beside Kakashi, staying as far away from the two fangirls as possible. Naruto sat as far from the others as possible.

"So, how are the missions lately?" Choji spoke up.

"Well, we did this C-rank mission that turned into an A-rank," Sakura smirked at Ino who in return glared at her.

"Oh, that. I heard about it. Encountering Zabuza Momochi, huh?" Asuma pointed at her with his chopsticks.

"Yeah, and Sasuke-kun was so amazing!" Sakura squealed, batting her eyelashes at the Uchiha'seductively'.

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. Something seemed off. It's as if there's something missing. He raised and eyebrow at Kakashi who was reading his not-very-appropriate-for-kids book. His gaze then lended on Naruto.

Naruto.

He hasn't spoken a single word since he arrived.

'You're such a failure.'

Shut up.

'Because I'm right?'

P-Please....s-shut up....

'You're just a waste of space...dattebayo..'

I'm not...

'You failed to save someone who probably cares for you...Haku...'

I-I know.....

'No one cares about you....'

Someone does....

'Who?'

Someone...jiji...my team...Shikamaru's team...Kiba's team...everyone....

'Really? Look in front of you.'

Naruto looked up.

"Naruto." Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the Uzumaki.

'See? He hates you.'

Naruto missed the 'Are you okay?'

Shikamaru's eyes were narrowed too. "Naruto..."

'There's another one.'

N-No way....

He missed the second "Are you okay?'

'When has Sakura or Ino really liked you? When has Choji ever said he cares about you? When has Asuma even care about you?'

Never....

'That's right. Are you a demon?'

"....

.

.

.

.

...Yes."

Crack.

"Yes."

Everyone at the table narrowed their eyes. That was obviously a lie.

"Naruto...you know...we're your friends...you can talk to us," Ino said.

Friends.

'You're such an idiot, Naruto! Why do you mess everything up?'

Friends.

'Hn, dobe. Why do you even try?'

Friends.

'You're...all idiots.'

Friends.

'You're so annoying, idiot! Go away!'

Friends.

'You shouldn't have done that....it's the other way....*sigh* Troublesome...why do you never get things done right...'

Friends.

"Yeah....we're friends," Naruto smiled.

.

.

.

'What are friends?'

Naruto opened the door to his apartment with a sigh.

"Tada...ima?"

There was no response. Like usual.

"Okaeri..." he muttered.

Tadaima....it means I'm home.

Home.

In Konoha.

Konoha.

'You're not welcome here, demon brat.'

Home.

'Stay away from him, my child. He's dangerous.'

Home.

'You should just die.'

Home.

"Konoha is your home, Naruto," his jiji once said.

Konoha is my home.

He doubted it himself now.

Home is somewhere people care about you.

Home is somewhere you can receive love.

Home is somewhere you can live peacefully and quietly.

Home is somewhere where you have a family.

Home is somewhere you can feel safe.

...Right?

He didn't even know what's home anymore.

What is home?

Naruto's stomach growled as he came out of the shower in a towel. He sighed. 'I need dinner...Ichiraku, maybe?'

He put on his clothes and stuffed his wallet in his pocket. 'Ichiraku it is then.'

He walked out of his apartment.

He walked down the stairs.

He walked through the streets.

He received some glares.

He saw a few smirks.

He saw the ramen stand, Ichiraku.

He stood in front of the closed doors with wide eyes.

In red, it wrote....

'Demons not welcomed. Stay away. Just die.'

Home.

He choked on his breath.

Home.

He walked through the streets.

Home.

He tripped and fell.

Home.

They laughed.

Home.

He walked up the stairs.

Home.

He stood at his closed door.

Home.

In red, again, it wrote,

Home.

'THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME.'

Where's....home?

No....

I don't have a home.

Crack.

Note: Ichiraku was closed that day, and some civilians painted the words on the closed doors. So its not Teuchi or Ayame.

He's tired. Naruto is tired.

Tired of acting, all. He's so tired.

So he gave up. He let his mask fall.

There was no henge on him from the start.

'You're ugly.'

He was like any other cheerful, energetic kid from the start.

'You don't deserve to be happy.'

Deception wasn't for idiots from the start.

'Which makes you worse.'

He smashed his mirror. "Stop."

'Accept reality.'

"Stop..." he whispered.

'You're not a monster, Naruto."

Naruto's eyes widened. A warm feeling rose in his chest.

'You're a demon. You're worse than a monster. A demon. A demon. A demon. A demon.'

.

.

.

.

"....please...stop...."

Naruto made his way to the bridge. A worthless demon, that's what he is. He didn't even know where those thoughts came from.

"I'm late." Naruto said as he sat down beside his female teammate.

"Baka!!! Don't make us wait!!! You're such an idiot, Naruto!!! And what's up with those clothes, are you trying to look cool like Sasuke-kun? Stop trying, cause you only look worse!!!"

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Sakura blinked.

"I said I'm sorry." Naruto looked up at her with blank eyes.

'He's not acting like himself,' Sasuke thought, narrowing his eyes at the 'dobe'.

"Okay, since a month has passed, I would like to test your skills," Kakashi gave them a smile, his eyes closed.

"Hai, sensei," came the response from the three genins. It lacked the usual cheerful-ness from Naruto.

"First up, shuriken and kunai training," Kakashi pointed to the three logs. "This time, you're doing it with ten instead of five like in the academy. And you'll be throwing all of them at once."

"That's hard..." Sakura frowned.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, which translates to 'piece of cake'.

Naruto...said nothing.

"Now, let' start. Sakura, you first."

"H-Hai," Sakura stuttered. She took out ten shurikens from her weapon pouch and aimed at the logs. With a sloppy stance, she threw the shurikens. 6 hit, and 4 missed. Sasuke almost snorted.

"Kunais."

The cherry blossom got her kunais ready and threw. 2 hit. 8 missed.

Sasuke literally snorted.

Kakashi sighed, wondering why did he even pass her. "Do you even train, Sakura?" Her face turned bright red. "B-But I doubt Naruto-baka does either!!!"

"Don't make excuses for yourself, Haruno." Kakashi narrowed his eyes at the girl. She bent her head down, ashamed.

"Next, Sasuke." Kakashi called. Sasuke got in his stance and threw the shurikens in his hands. 9 hits. 1 almost hit.

"Good, kunai."

8 hit, 2 missed. Sasuke smirked.

"Good job, Sasuke. It seems you train a lot. Naruto." Kakashi called. Kakashi expected Naruto to be worse than Sakura, tiny bit. But the stance the so called dead last got in, he wasn't so sure his guess will be right.

'Demon...show them who you are.'

For a moment, Kakashi swore his eyes flashed red before 10 shurikens hit the log at an almost undetectable speed.

Their eyes widened.

10 shurikens, all hit. This is not the dead last.

He got his kunais ready. There wasn't even a whizzing noise before 10 kunais were stuck in the log.

'How...' Sasuke gritted his teeth. 'How did he get so strong...'

'Impossible....that idiot can't be stronger than me! I-I'm the top kunoichi!' Sakura glared at Naruto.

'This definitely isn't the Naruto from before....' Kakashi narrowed his eyes. 'I have to watch him closely...'

Naruto seemed unfazed by their glares or gazes.

He seemed unfazed.

He seemed.

But deep inside....

He's still that 12 year old child...who only wants to be loved.

Why can't they...

His vision blurred.

Why can't they just...

Tears.

WHY CAN'T THEY JUST ACCEPT HIM FOR ONCE?!

He ran.

"NARUTO!!!! GET BACK HERE!!!!!"

'Demon.'

'Monster.'

'Devil.'

'Idiot.'

'Worthless.'

"I..." He sobbed in an alleyway. "I don't wanna do this anymore...."

.

.

.

.

.

"I want to die."

Crack.

Naruto can't handle it anymore. The pain. It gave him painful headaches, it's irresistible.

'You're a demon. You deserve it.'

I know.

He walked through the forests.

He went up the hills.

He saw the light from the sun.

He made his way out.

He stared at the scene of the village from the Hokage monuments.

It's so beautiful.

He took one step.

Two step.

Three steps.

He looked down.

He counted.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

He pointed at the space at the end of the cliff.

Six.

Six steps and he can be free.

So he started to walk.

One step.

No one came.

Two steps.

No one is trying to stop him.

Three steps.

No one cares.

Four steps.

He'll do something good, for once.

Five steps.

He'll fulfill everyone's wishes...

The sixth step.

...his death.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He stopped.

He paused.

He looked down.

A tear slipped out of his eye.

He screamed.

And he cried.

He couldn't do it.

He's so weak.

Naruto POV

The final level of the Chunin Exams.

I'm facing Neji Hyuga.

But something kept distracting me and it almost made me lose in the fight with Kiba.

Gaara, a Jinchuriki, just like me.

Did he suffer the same fate as me too?

But Gaara is a monster.

I still have my sanity.

Which means I'm worse.

I'm more than a monster.

I am now standing in front of Neji Hyuga in a fighting stance.

"Give up, Uzumaki. You will never win." Neji glared at me.

I know.

"You are a dead last and shall remain dead last. Give up."

...I know.

"You're fate was determined the moment we were to fight. You will lose to me."

"S-Stop it..." I choked out.

"What now? You're crying?" he smirked.

"I know."

What do I do?

I don't know what to do.

I'll lose.

I'm weak.

I'm worthless.

I'm a freak.

I'm a waste of space.

"P-Please...."

"What? Please let you win? You're such a coward." Neji scoffed.

"Please just...." Naruto fell on his knees and stared up at Neji with his tear-stained face.

"Kill me."

Crack.

It has been months since the chunin exams.

Much to Naruto's dismay, Neji didn't kill him.

But he did send him to the hospital for two weeks.

But the hospital was worse than getting injured for Naruto.

It sucked.

Yeah, it's been months. Time sure passes by quickly.

And Naruto became less depressed as time passed.

He started to open up to his friends.

Even the Uchiha who rarely showed emotions started treating him like a friend.

But for some reason, that dark voice won't go away.

But that didn't affect Naruto as much as it had back then.

But now, at this moment, he wasn't so sure.

Naruto is held by the neck in the air at the valley of the end by Sasuke Uchiha.

His only relatable friend.

He betrayed Naruto.

"Naruto...you are weak."

The Uzumaki struggled and gasped for air.

"You'll never beat me."

"I will..." Naruto choked out.

"You are worthless."

"I'm not..." tears flowed out of Naruto's eyes.

"You are a waste of space."

"No..." more tears flowed out of his eyes.

"You're a demon."

There was silence.

Rain dropped on his face.

The sound of chirping birds was heard in the air.

"Die."

Sasuke plunged the Chidori into his chest.

His vision blurred.

Sasuke dropped him onto the ground.

He blacked out.

He opened his eyes and heard a beeping noise.

He was at the hospital.

He sat up and glanced out of the window.

"You're a demon."

It hurt Naruto so bad when Sasuke said that, so bad.

The door opened.

Sakura came in.

Naruto turned to her.

"Hi."

He expected a smile.

She sneered and put medicine on his table before walking away.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto called.

"What?" Sakura asked, annoyed.

"W-Why did you ignore me?" he asked.

"You want to know why?" Sakura snarled and walked towards him.

Slap.

Naruto froze.

"You promised me. You promised me you would bring him back," Sakura said with tears in her eyes.

"You don't have the right to slap me..." Naruto growled. "When you did nothing yourself."

Sakura's eyes widened. Tears flowed down her face.

Naruto blinked. "S-Sakura-chan, I didn't mea-"

"Save it," Sakura spat, her voice cracking.

The door opened just as she ran out of the room. The Konoha '11' who was coming in gasped a little as Sakura ran out, crying.

"Naruto! What did you do to make her cry!?" Ino screamed at the blonde.

"I..." Naruto couldn't say anything.

"Troublesome...you can't just throw a temper because you failed on a mission," Shikamaru stared at the spot Sakura was once at.

"You're such a DEMON!!!"

Naruto froze.

Everyone froze.

Ino realised what she had just said. She ran away to find Sakura.

"I..." Naruto looked out of the window. "...guess so."

"Naruto-kun..." Hinata mumbled quietly.

"Troublesome..." Shikamaru sighed. "Let's just go."

The door closed.

Naruto looked down.

He hugged his knees.

And cried.

They betrayed him.

Crack.

Naruto had so many questions.

What's a friend?

Why can't he just be at peace, for once?

He sat alone in his apartment. He locked himself up for days, not meeting anyone.

He couldn't decide.

Whether he wants to live or die.

He just wanted someone to answer his questions.

He just wanted someone to notice him.

He just wanted to be loved.

Naruto POV

I wanted to scream.

But I don't have a voice left in me.

I wanted to cry.

I don't have a single tear left in me.

I wanted to die.

But I think I'm already dead.

"Hey."

Someone patted my head.

"Look at me."

I didn't.

I just asked a question.

"Am I a demon?"

He remained silent.

"I know the answer."

I looked up with hope.

I froze.

He's not anyone from the Konoha 12.

He's not any of my sensei's.

He's not any of my parents.

He's not jiji.

He's.....

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

...me.

"Hey, there." he smiled.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Idiot," he snickered. "Who else? I'm you!"

"You're not a shadow clone," I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Yeah." He smiled. "I'm just a part of your mind. You're the only one who can see me."

"Oh." I blinked. "Why are you here?"

"To answer your questions." he answered.

My eyes widened.

"Just come with me."

He walked through the door. I followed him and walked out.

We walked through the streets.

It's those glares again.

I shifted uncomfortably.

Ino passed by.

I blinked at her.

She sneered.

I continued walking.

This path seems familiar.

I walked through the forests.

I went up the hills.

I saw the light from the sun.

I made my way out.

"This is..." I muttered, shocked. "The Hokage monuments."

He took one step.

Two step.

Three steps.

He looked down.

He counted again.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

He pointed at the space at the end of the fourth's head.

Five.

Naruto POV

I bent my head down to look at my feet. I looked up to look at 'me'.

"You said you'd answer my questions."

"I did."

"Why did you bring me here? You're supposed to answer my questions."

"There's only one person that can answer your questions, Naruto. That is me."

"And?"

"I'm you."

I froze.

"Decide it yourself, Na-ru-to."

He faded away.

No,

I faded away.

I looked down.

One step.

When glass...

Two steps.

falls...

Three steps.

It's kind of funny...

Four steps.

I wanted to fade away too.

Five steps.

The wind blew at my face.

It's nice.

I like this feeling.

Into pieces....

I know the answers to my questions now.

They...

'Worthless trash.'

Maybe I am?

Crack.

-----------

'Are you a demon?'

...Yes."

Crack.

-----------

I don't have a home.

Crack.

-----------

"I want to die."

Crack.

------------

"Kill me."

Crack.

------------

They betrayed him.

Crack.

-------------

I know....when glass falls....

Into pieces....

They....

S H A T T E R

End.

Ew.