Amortentia
[Tom Riddle Sr.]

Mental Weakness

Merope's punishment was not harder, nor was it softer than it would have been otherwise, but something inside her had changed.
She had decided not to learn her lesson.
Why should it be forbidden to look at Muggles? It was only for a moment and it made her happy.
Nobody could take that away from her.

She liked to just stand there and look at him.
Just look out the window, observe as he left and entered his parents villa, continue to dream about how it could be if she was someone else and never wake up again.
That's all she wanted to do.

Even her father had noticed how docile Merope had turned in the next few days, he didn't have to tell his daughter what to do all the time, and so Merope rarely saw him.

Normally Merope wasn't unwilling or lazy, but it was hard for her to remember things, or find something to occupy herself with when she was bored. But, since she had seen the Muggle couple that was no longer true.
Merope had a goal set in her head: "If I work hard enough on myself, then father can't forbid me to see him." That's what she kept telling herself.

There was only one problem; her magic just didn't seem to improve.
Many a time nothing happened, much to the annoyance of her father, sometimes stupid things would happen, the cup which she wanted to make float broke in her hands, or burst into flames.
And then her father punished her while Morfin giggled slouched over in the other side of the room. He found it funny when his stupid sister botched everything up once again.

But forgotten were the punishments and the bad words when Tom Riddle trotted along the road on top of his wonderful black horse.
Merope listened to every sound of hooves and every step outside the door.
Some days she lingered around the cottages neglected garden, only to be able to see him better.
But Merope never dared to step out of her hiding place.
Especially when he had company.
That rosy creature - Merope didn't know how else to describe her, but sometimes she felt as if she hated the girl.
Normally she didn't hate anything in this world, neither her abusive father, nor her intolerable brother.
****
It was dusk when she heard the familiar sounds generated by the horse hoofs making contact with the asphalt.
Merope could hear that there were two horses, that's how good her hearing had gotten from always trying to listen into her father's conversations with her brother.

The handsome Muggles' melodious voice made her feel warm inside, and Merope sat down next to the blackberry bush- pretending to pluck some berries.

The horses were slowly getting closer, and Merope was now able to understand what was being said.
"I always have the feeling that someone is watching me when we ride past that house over there," said a soft female voice.
"Cecilia, that is nonsense. That' just the house of some lunatics, but they keep to themselves. You hardly ever see them, and besides- they don't have anything to do with us, "he reassured her.
Merope hid closer to the blackberry bush as she heard him talking about her.

Lunatics?
The house might be run down, and she herself isn't the brightest, that she knows, but a lunatic.
Why did he say such mean things?
He doesn't even know them.

"I've never really seen them up close, but they look over to our house, and it's safe to say that it isn't with benevolence," the woman who he had called Cecilia insisted.
"Many people are envious, pay no mind to it darling. After all, you are marrying into a wealthy family. You have to learn how to ignore these things."
"But Tom, maybe someone wants to harm us. Maybe they're following us."
"Don't be ridiculous," he snapped irritably and Merope heard it with satisfaction- immediately repressing the bad words that he had said about her family.
Suits the rosy girl quite right that she was reprimanded.

"If one of those crazy people threatened us, I know what to do."
Merope heard something rustling, assumed that Tom had shown something to the girl.

"Put that way", said the girl angrily.
"I just wanted to show you that you don't need to worry," he grumbled and Merope heard again the sound of hoofs, as his horse moved nervously up and down.
Oh, why couldn't she just see him?

'What are you doing?' Said a voice in her head.
The voice spoke Parsel and it belonged to her brother.

Merope yelped in surprise.
Morfin must have seen her.

"I'm picking blackberries," Merope muttered evasively, but her brother didn't believe her.
"Come back inside immediately," he barked at her, this time in English.
Merope could once again hear hoofbeats.

"What are you looking at?" Morfin raged from the doorstep.
"Tom, I told you," the girl whispered excitedly.
Merope heard footsteps from the street.

Morfin should just disappear.
She couldn't let the Muggles see her.

"Merope, there will be hell to pay if you don't come here this instant," growled Morfin.

"I wasn't aware that it was forbidden to watch over to your garden, sir," Tom said politely.
Actually, he said it ironically, but Merope didn't notice the difference.
Morfin was moving towards her and Merope quickly closed her eyes.
She always did that when she could no longer witness her own misery, she knew what was about to happen.
A hand tore at her hair and groaning she came to a halt.
She anxiously opened her heavy eyelids and stared directly into Tom Riddle's face.
The girl Cecilia clapped her hands over her mouth, as Morfin finally let go of Meropes hair, and slapped her so hard that it made her stagger back.
Merope had to hold the garden fence for support, otherwise she would have fallen.
The strangled cry that came from the girl made Merope wince.
For the first time in her life she felt as if she was about to cry.
"I told you to come inside, you unteachable piece of garbage," hissed Morfin close to her ear.
Tom was still looking at her, his eyes betrayed no emotion whatsoever.
But Cecilia stomped furiously towards the Gaunt's garden fence.
"Are you crazy? The poor girl! "She called after Morfin- who had grabbed Merope by the hand, and dragged her inside.
On the doorstep Morfin stopped.
"Can't you see, Miss," the Miss sounded like an insult in Meropes ears like, "that I can."
"Poor thing," said the girl from the other side of the fence.
"Don't you see that she's not right in the head. No Wonder!"
That hit harder than Morfins' slap, and Merope winced again.

Morfin gave her a kick and she staggered into the hall, then the door closed behind him, and the view at Tom Riddle was blocked.
"That's what happens when you don't listen," Morfin snarled in Parseltongue and shoved Merope further into the kitchen.
"Stay here until father comes. Don't you dare to move from this spot. "

Merope dropped onto worn bench and buried her head in her hands.
Not Morfin's slap nor his kick to her ribcage hurt anymore.
What hurt Merope were the girls words.

Not right in the head?
Why was she not right in the head?
She knew a lot of things that others didn't, sometimes she forgot things and she was a bit slower at thinking, but that didn't make her retarded, right?
But the worst part was that she had said it in front of Tom.
Now Tom certainly also saw her as disturbed, perhaps even dangerous. Perhaps he was afraid of her now.
There were people who were frightened of the mentally ill, she had seen it with her own eyes, as the son of the butcher was home again, he was generally considered as crazy in Little Hangleton.
People on the street walked as far away from his as they possibly could, while Merope found that he actually looked quite normal, he just moved his leg in a strange way.

Why had the girl said such a thing?
Her brother and her father constantly said that Merope was stupid, maybe it was true after all?
Maybe she was not stupid, but only mentally weak?
She heard footsteps and then the familiar voice of her father that already swelled full of anger from above.
Morfin had told him that she had refused to go inside.
Merope closed her eyes and braced herself for what would come.