"Uh..."

I stared at the mural that had 'magically' appeared on one of the walls of the living room over the course of the couple of hours or so that I was asleep.

I mean, it was nice and all, but I could still sue for vandalism.

"Who did this?"

"that'd be ink."

I flinched, spinning around to meet Error's passive and indifferent eyelights.

"Paintbrush guy, right?"

His gaze turned blank, but I could detect a hint of a smirk on his teeth. "...yes."

I turned back to it.

It was a rather calming scene—a waterfall and river, practically glowing a blue aura, as well as some flowers. There rest of the scenery was dark blues, blacks, and grays.

"that's waterfall."

My snark decided to introduce itself. "Creative."

To my surprise, instead of being offended or angry, he snickered. "my thoughts exactly."

"Is..." My voice trailed off as I eyed the picture again. "Why would Ink draw this?"

Error shuffled in place, eyelights drawn to the ground. "well..."

He doesn't talk to people often. He has communication issues, yet he's still trying. He wants to have friendship, but often brings up his guard (a cold exterior), effectively cutting off potential friendships before they can start. He has an odd fascination with Ink, in particular, but there's a deep-rooted anger there, as well.

"You don't have to tell me," I said quickly, waving my hands in front of my face. "I was just curious—"

"no, no, it's fine," Error cut me off. "it's probably the most popular place in the underground in all the aus. he draws it so often because it's easy to. it keeps his hands busy."

Why would you know that if you don't like him?

I cocked my head. "You lost me. Underground? AUs? Is this something like quantum theory? That's the usual thing."

Error sighed, running a bony hand over the top of his head. "sort of? it's pretty complicated to explain to someone who has no clue about anything—"

"Then tell me."

He looked over at me as I sat down on the couch, leaning on my elbow and putting my chin into my palm. My eyes stared into his sockets.

"I'm a fast learner," I continued. "I absorb like a sponge. If you explain it to me, I'm sure I could understand in twenty minutes or so."

It took a minute for him to sit beside me and begin talking again.

"...i should probably start with the multiverse. we only travel within our own multiverse, but i've suspected for a while that there are other multiverses—"

(Lunar here! Error's talking about the Naj! and the PJ's Daycare type multiverses. Just wanted to clear that up. Lunar out.)

"—that exist. a multiverse basically a collection of universes surrounding a major theme—or something like that. in each universe, there is something different and unique that differentiates it from the others, yet they follow the same sort of pattern in how they work and whatnot.

"it's different from quantum theory in that it's not like a tree in which it branches off based on choice. each au—alternate universe—is based on the same cores, but with a varying way of expressing those cores. it's like...it's like how humans have different genes, and they are each turned off and on to make different people. different aspects are turned off and on to make different universes. however, it is dissimilar in that the creators are constantly making new genes to add to the mix."

I frowned, twirling a strand of hair on my finger and pulling at it. "Creators?"

"ink and i...we're...special beings, of a sort. we're supposed to be the moderators for our multiverse. ink is called a 'creator,' even though he's really a guardian. i am called the 'destroyer,' but i only erase universes when the attachment to them has significantly decreased or disappeared altogether. i would never take away one that is cared for so much."

I didn't miss the hostility in his voice in those last sentences.

"but i digress. the 'creators' are really a source of investigation. we don't know who or even what they are. they are simply a thing that we know exists that creates universes. as far as we know, universes just pop into existence. we unrightfully credit ink, even though the unnamed creators are the ones doing all the hard work."

I nodded. "Like how some people believe how God or Allah or whoever created everything?"

Error waved his hand. "that'd be accurate, i suppose."

"Cool!" I bubbled, bouncing up and down in my seat. "You should be, like, a professor or something! You'd be good at it! You explain things really well!"

I kept babbling, not realizing that Error was changing suddenly. I was bouncing closer to him, and his face devolved into horror, then to nothing.

It was too late that I noticed him shift away from me, gaze to the ground and a grimace on his face. His hands were clenched into fists, and he was tense, shaking with the pressure.

This time, I couldn't really read him that well, which threw me off more than anything.

And of course I made another mistake.

"Wh-why don't they like you?" my brilliant mouth stammered out, my form slowing its energetic movements to a halt. "You seem pleasant enough, I don't understand—"

He growled, spinning around to glare daggers into me. His eyes, at first interesting, turned menacing in an instant. "all i am to them is a nuisance and a threat. of course you don't understand, you haven't been forced into a void with nothing but voices screaming at you that you're worthless and a nothing. you haven't been hated by an entire multiverse your entire existence. you haven't suffered enough. of course you don't understand. you never could."

With a strange noise, he disappeared before my eyes.

Then the voices set in, swooping before I could even try to protect myself from them.

What have you done?

You idiot.

You messed up a potential friendship, again. Can't you do anything right?

What happens when Addy leaves? These guys don't know you, and you'll have to babysit them for a couple months until they're gone. Then you'll be all alone again.

Just go and die already.

Just you, all alone.

{•••}
([{*heartbeat*}])
{•••}

A tight feeling grew in my chest. The light outside suddenly seemed too bright, the ceiling too close (even though it was about twenty feet above me), the walls too close, everything was too much, and it all hurt and I was being yelled at and nothing made sense and I just wanted to be told everything was fine but no one was here and they wouldn't get it and nothing made sense and I was all alone and nothing made sense and I want to die but I want to live and it's too confusing and it's too everything and it hurts and in the end it doesn't matter because I'm dying but really I just want—I just want—

<~>

Minutes. Hours? Could I have spent a day like that, curled on the couch, maybe screaming aloud, maybe just in my head?

Perhaps.

I don't know.

Actually, I do know, because when the world stopped spinning and crushing me with its tight spaces, the light was still there, the same hue as before.

I let out a quiet whimper, sitting up again.

A nice migraine was coming on, and I silently groaned in pain, holding a hand to my head.

I stood and nearly fell. My balance was never really the best, especially after...that.

After allowing myself a single minute to regain myself and to endure the pain, I tried to stand again, succeeding this time.

The stairs never seemed so daunting, but I limped up them, hurrying as fast as I could to the bathroom to get my medication.

Stay determined, Y/N. Stay determined.

I had the feeling—as I stumbled into my bathroom, rummaged around the cabinet, popped the tablets in my mouth, swallowed with water, put myself on pause, cooled down, and let my nerves slow down until they stopped pulsing in pure pain—that maybe I wasn't just thinking about my short journey getting there.

I still have to stay determined for a chance of friendship with Error, too.

(Argh, I'm sorry, guys!

Hi guys. Lunar here.

I mean to post this chapter WAYYY earlier, but I lost inspiration for a while! I'M SO SORRYYYY!

No clue what I'm doing next chapter! Suggestions, maybe?

Nothing to report otherwise, except that I've been sick these past few days {nothing bad, mainly an annoying stuffy nose that's been chapping my lips like no tomorrow—}.

Love y'all so much! Happy late Thanksgiving, if you celebrate! Lots of thanks and leftovers for all of you!

Ciao, Lunarlings!

Lunar, signing off.)