PRIVATE MESSAGES BETWEEN: thea 👊🏼 and dickweed

thea 👊🏼:
were you dropped on your head as a child or are you actually just incredibly stupid?

dickweed:
what?

thea 👊🏼:
i mean what the actual fuck, chandler

dickweed:
how is she?

thea 👊🏼:
fuckin amazing.

dickweed:
be serious

thea 👊🏼:
well, she's better off without your sorry ass that's for fucking sure

dickweed:
you know what? why am i the one in the wrong here?
i did the right thing

thea 👊🏼:
if by the right thing you mean hurt someone you care about, then sure

dickweed:
we weren't actually dating
you know why?
because she didn't actually want to fucking date me
and i've liked her for years thea.
we grew up together, pretty much
i love her

thea 👊🏼:
okay
why are you telling me this tho?

dickweed:
because i need you to understand i didn't wanna hurt her
but i love her
and she likes me
i wasn't gonna beat around the bush any longer
i wasn't happy, not really

thea 👊🏼:
.......oh my god you guys are so stupid
you are both so fucking stupid

dickweed:
i spill my sob love story to you and that's your answer

thea 👊🏼:
you're a shitface.
you want to date her?? like actually, fully, be in a committed relationship with her??

dickweed:
yes, but that's not the point here

thea 👊🏼:
yes it fucking is.
you know why, shitface?
BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND.

dickweed:
no she doesn't

thea 👊🏼:
yeah she does
and she was gonna fucking say that to you but you beat her to the punch
and told her you didn't want to be with her
and that's why my best friend's been crying for two days :)
so thank you, shitface, for not only breaking your own heart, but shattering my best friend's as well

dickweed:
fuck
you're kidding me right

thea 👊🏼:
no you fucking dickweed, i'm not
so fix this shit

_

PRIVATE MESSAGES BETWEEN: chandler AND syd 💛

chandler:
syd
[UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE]

chandler:
sydney?
[UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE]

chandler:
what the fuck
did you seriously block me?
i mean i can't really blame you
[UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE]

chandler:
i'm an asshat
you deserve better than me
[UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE]

chandler:
i'm sorry
i love you
[UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGE]

_

PRIVATE MESSAGES BETWEEN: thea 👊🏼 and dickweed

dickweed:
she blocked me.

thea 👊🏼:
i mean, i don't know how else you expected this to go??
last time she didn't block an ex it almost ended yOU TWO
so???

dickweed:
so???
wHaT dO i dO

thea 👊🏼:
well, first off you can fucking chill
i'm not your therapist, i'm not your mother
i'm your ex pseudo girlfriend's best friend, who's currently still mad at you
so chill out.

thea 👊🏼:
secondly, reach out (through like social media i mean)
but give her time.
you hurt her a lot
she tends to isolate herself when she's hurt.
she blames herself for stuff too
it goes back to her parents, i think, but she doesn't mention them so i don't ask
give her space but show you're not just another eli

dickweed:
i'm not. i swear i'm not

thea 👊🏼:
i know that.
she doesn't.
show her.

dickweed:
that's actually kinda wise, thea

thea 👊🏼:
yeah, well, choke on a dick or whatever

dickweed:
aaaaand, we're back
cool

_

here's thea almost roasting chandler to death. please don't kill me.