Here we go again-

O N E

I stared at the man in front of me, holding a gun to the head of the woman I once called my mother.

I grabbed my spoon and took another bite of my pudding.

"Dude."

"Yea?" I asked.

"I HAVE A GUN TO YOUR MOTHER'S HEAD, AND YOU ARE EATING PUDDING! PUDDING, OF ALL THINGS! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT I'M GONNA DO?!" He screeched.

"If I gave a shit, I wouldn't be eating my pudding." I stuffed another spoonful into my mouth.

"What the fu-"

"Ah ah ah watch your fucking language Mr. Mysterious Asshole." I commented nonchalantly.

"You juST DID?!?!" He questioned.

I stared at him blankly, daring him to say something else. He kept quiet.

"So are you gonna pull the trigger or what?" I sighed.

BANG!

"Want some pudding?" I asked.

"Got chocolate?" He sat down in front of me.

"Yea, lemme get you some." I stood up and went to the kitchen.

I came back and set his pudding in front of him, eliciting a 'thanks' from him. While we ate, we fired questions at each other. Casual, as if we were on a date.

That actually doesn't sound that bad.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
T W O

A group of friends live together.

——-

"Describe your household in one word."

"Ooo! They're fun!"

(Insert chaos in the background)

——-

"Describe your household in on-"

"Idiotic or chaotic, depends on the day." (Reading a book)

"HEY! WE AREN'T THAT CHAOTIC!"

"Must I remind you of yesterday's incident with the can opener?"

"Uhhh no we're good!"

——-

"Describe your household in one word."

"Beyond hell."

"That's two wor-"

"B E Y O N D. H E L L ."

——-

"Describe your household in one word."

"What time of the day?"

"Uhm, all?..."

"Well currently everyone is passed out in the living room because one had a sugar rush and gave the rest a bucket of coffee each. They had a pillow fight at about 11 PM and passed out at sunrise."

"Well, can you, uhm, simplify that to one word?"

"At night they are a pack of cats on catnip and during the day they suffer the consequences."

"That isn't-"

"screeEeEEeeeEEeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"The cats are calling."

"Wait what-"

——-

"Describe your household in one word."

"What did mother say?"

"Uh, who's...mother?"

"MOTHER THERE'S A STRANGE PERSON QUESTIONING ME!"

"ELSIE! GET THE SHOTGUN!"

"Wha-"

"HEY KIDS WE'RE GOING HUNTING!"

(Screams of excitement)

"Wait please no WAIT WAIT WAIT-"

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
T H R E E

With a quick hit to the back of the head, the psychopath was out cold. To think that someone as chaotic as him could be taken down so easily I thought bitterly.

"Kane! Why are you just standing around?"
Sighing, I turned around to be met with the horrified look of my friend. I raised an eyebrow in confusion before reaching up and wiping my wet cheek. Looking at my hand, I saw crimson blood smeared over my palm.

"Don't worry, it's my blood." I commented nonchalantly.

"That isn't a good thing!"

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
F O U R

"Alright, anyone have a plan?"

    "Murder it."

"What? No!"

"Oooo, I like her."

"No."

"Can we keep her?"

"No!"

"Murder is always an option."

"Nobody is murdering anyone!"

"What does murder mean? Is it a game?"

"Yup! A very fun game, in fact!"

"Murder is NOT a game!"

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
F I V E

"I love you."

"REALLY?!"

"No you dumbass it's in the script."

"Aw :("

"How the fuck did you say that out loud-"

"¯\_(ツ)_/¯ =￣ω￣= ●▽● ヽ('▽｀)/"

"HOW?!"

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
S I X

"HENDICE I KNOW YOU DIDN'T EAT MY FUCKING SMARTIES!"

"Of course I didn't."

"THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE SMARTIES IN FRONT OF YOU?!"

"Those aren't smarties."

"THEN WHAT ARE THEY?!"

"P i l l s ."

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
S E V E N

"Awwww it's so cute!"

"It's fur is so soft!"

"Jenice what are you waiting for come pet it!"

"Guys..."

"Yea?"

"IT'S A WILD BEAR?!?!"

"Okay, and?"

(Tired sigh)

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
E I G H T

The result of trying to set someone up who doesn't want to be set up.

"Soooo, what's your favorite drink?"

"Blood."

"AHAH! Funny joke!"

"It's not a joke."

"Haha...uh..."

"Run while you still can."

"Oh sHI-"

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*
N I N E

"I have a baseball bat~"

"Oookay?"

"I have spikes~"

"Wait why-"

"UH!"

"..."

"Spikey Baseball Bat~"

(Inspired by pineapple apple pen)

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･''･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Thou isth too lazy to write more.

ABC Out!
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