Listen to 1999 by Charlie XCX x Troye Sivan

(Just a reminder.  If you've forgotten, AIMI is Stella's friend.)

Meera Bagwat

Ranjit would never learn how to differentiate good brinjals from rotten ones.   I twirled the shrivelled vegetable around my plate with disinterest.  He observed me from the other side of the table, tapping his fingers together, waiting for my approval.  

"The brinjal is fine, Ranjit," I retorted.  "You don't need my validation every single time."  

Did he really have to be all nice and responsible now?  If I wanted to blame anybody, it was him.  But as I glowered at him from across the room, he didn't seem like a bad guy at all.   His facade was just the opposite of a bad husband.  He cooked and cleaned in this house, took care of me, my son and my family.  He was a compassionate adult.  "The ideal husband," I thought with a sneer.   

He was taken aback at my expression.  "O...okay..," he stammered, sending me a bewildered look.  

I wanted to hate him, but what would I hate him for?  

"Umm..," he cleared his throat.  "I noticed that you haven't had any beer from the fridge."

"Yeah, I'm trying," I stated, without meaning it.  I attacked the last brinjal with my fork and swallowed it as whole.  The bitter rot left it's taste at the back of my tongue.  

I lost control when he neatly pressed a tissue to his mouth to end his dinner.  He was so annoying.  Everything he did was so fucking annoying.

When he sipped at his water, I asked, "Tell me something, Ranjit.  What would you do if Nikhil turned out to be gay?"  

He chocked on his water with shock.  

"Or he feels more like a woman and wants be one?" 

Ranjit gasped, open-mouthed.  "What do you mean?  Is he...Is he?"

"Just imagine," I urged.  

He answered within a blink of time.  "I...won't do anything.  He's still my son...or daughter." He put his shaking hands on the table.  "My child!" 

I chewed my teeth with annoyance.  I was hoping he would should at me.  "What will you do if I...died?"

"Meera!" he cried.  "What are you saying?  Why would you die?"  The alarm in his voice made me tremble.  

"Let's say I...disappeared.  Would you still take care of Nikhil?"

"What the fuck are you saying?" he yelled, shooting up from his chair.  "Where is all this coming from?"  The greying hair beside his temple shone in the tube lights.  His eyes sparkled with rage. 

"Just say it, Ranjit." 

He banged his hand on the table.  "Yes, I will!  I will take care of him no matter what."  

"Oh," I laughed mockingly.  "So you're not a queerphobe?  I didn't know that." 

"Meera!" he yelled, marching to my side.  He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.  When he spoke, his voice had softened.  "What is wrong?  You know I've changed.  I'm not the same person I was ten years ago.  Why are you asking me all this?" 

Umm, because I want to be with Stella and you and my family are blocking my fucking way!

"Nothing," I replied with a calm air.  "Just wondering."

Ranjit snorted.  "Yeah, why?"

I ignored his question.  "So?" I started again.  "Nothing I do would change how you see Nikhil?" 

"Why...why are you..."  He stopped, sighing dejectedly.  He figured I won't give him answer.  "He is my son, Meera.  I...I don't know what to say.  Please tell me why you are aski-"

"Because I don't like you, Ranjit!" I snapped, fire burning in my heart.  "I hate being with you ever single day and feeling guilty for being a bad wife, a bad mother and a fucking bad daughter.  It's just..." I caught my throbbing head, grinding my teeth.  "It's just killing me that I couldn't satisfy anybody.  Nobody, Ranjit.  Nobody!  But you are the most unreliable person I know.  You change your stupid mind all the time.  Unlike you, I have a family to think about, even though I fucking hate every single person.  I don't know if I can trust you with Nikhil."

Ranjit just stood there, dumbfounded.  

Uninvited tears welled up at my eyes.  I wiped at them angrily.  "I think and think about everybody before making a decision.  And in the end, I'm..," my voice faltered, "I'm just not happy."

My head slid to the cold table.  I was breathing hard.

"I wish I could just leave you," I continued.  "And live alone."  My face was a crumpled mess of emotions.  An image of Stella's face flashed through my head.  My chest ached when I said, "Or with someone else..."

Stella Davis

I groaned when Aimi whipped my sheets off me.  "Please..." I croaked, my voice groggy.  I was speaking after what felt like a million years.

"No!" she ordered.  "You've been in bed for three days!  You need to get up." Aimi held a white plastic bag in her arm.  

When I pulled the sheets around myself again, she glared at me murderously.  

While we were arguing, Chad walked into the room with both hands in his pockets.  He smiled merrily at me.  "How are you doing, Stella?"

"Thank God!" Aimi sighed.  "Can you please get this sad bitch to get off her bed?" she begged him. 

I pouted, sadly reaching my hands towards him for a hug.  "Chad..."

His face melted with sympathy.  He climbed on my bed to wrap his arms around me.  "Oh, Stella," he muttered.  "Are you still thinking about Meera?"  His hand lovingly smoothed my hair as he waited for me to reply.  

The curve of my lips dipped further.  I had forgotten how to smile.  "I feel so bad for her, Chad...and Aimi," I added, even though she'd listened to me say this a million times.  She just rolled her eyes.  "Did you know that her father spanked her when he found out she likes girls?" 

"Yes," he graciously said, nodding.  "You told me." 

"I could make her happy, Chad!" I cried, my voice going up a decibel.  "She's just...trapped in a mess she didn't want to be.  I really really wish she wasn't, but...she is.  I'll take care of her well, Chad...and Aimi." 

He patted my back.  "I know you will." 

"So what should I do now?  I can't just leave her alone..," I complained.  "Do you know how hard her mother and sister were to her?  Ranjit wasn't supportive either."

"I know, I know." 

I sneezed.  "Chad?"

"Yes?"

"Do I smell bad?"

"Well..." He paused.  "Umm, yeah, you do.  We can fix that with a bath."

"No..," I moaned, letting go of him.  "I don't have Meera, and I smell bad?  This is horrible."

Aimi fell on the bed beside us, smiling pitifully for the first time today.  "Like I said yesterday," she started.  "And the day before that...you gotta move on, Stella!  You can't weep about her for longer than this.  It didn't work out," she said, throwing her arms in the air.  "So what?  You'll find somebody else." 

I thought about her lines for a minute, hugging my pillow.  "I can move on.  But she can't, Aimi.  She can't escape from the negative energy that surrounds us unless she shoos them off herself.  She needs my help."

Aimi shook her head no.  "She'll come to you if she needs you, Stella.  Don't think about it." 

Chad slowly pulled her plastic bag towards him, the polythene crumpling noisily.  His eyes brightened.  "Looks like Aimi brought ice cream for us."

Aimi instantly slapped his arm.  "It's not for you, pig."  She pushed the ice cream tub towards me.  "Have it, darls!" 

But I pushed it away with a grumpy sigh.  

She put her hands on her hip.  "Excuse me, lady?  Don't test my patience.  If there is something that would cheer you up, tell us."

A small smile broke on my face.  "Let's go on vacation.  Just the three of us." 

Aimi's mouth hung open.  "Yes!" she hollered.  "I've been waitin-"

But Chad cut her sentence.  "No way!  With you not being in the office, I have so much work." 

I pouted recklessly.  "Please, Chad!  We can appoint someone to take care of it.  I really need this.  Please?" 

It was his turn to glare.  But I knew that he won't say no to me.  

"Do I have another choice?" 

Aimi and I vigorously shook our heads no.

He took a long, burdened breath.  Then he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

Smiling, I put a finger under my chin and thought.  I remembered the Instagram post.  The shade of a palm tree fell on David's face.  He had lied to his mother about being in Chicago, while he was, in reality, fucking Reji in Hawaii.  

A mischievous thought crept my mind.  

"Hawaii," I answered.  

Please vote and make me smile.

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