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Listen to Supalonely by Benee

Stella Davis

My coffee was perched on my table when I entered my cabin.  

I sighed, throwing my bag on the chair.  It was usually Chad who brought me my coffee, but today he wasn't here to welcome me, nor update me on my schedule.  Yesterday, he had just stormed out of the club, leaving Aimi and me alone. 

I'd always been bossy.  Why, all of a sudden, was he mad at me?  

I dialled to his landline at his desk and he picked up on the very first ring.

"Yes?" he answered, his voice rusty and formal.

"Chad. My cabin. Now."

I heard him scoff.  "Coming."  The line went dead.

Right after the call ended, my phone rang again.  

I smiled at the Called ID.  It was my mom.

"Hello, Mrs Davis," I teased, pressing the phone to my ear.  "Why in the world would you call me?"

I heard her laugh.  I hadn't seen her in a month and I suddenly missed her closeness. "Oh, I do have a reason, child," she replied in her thickly accented voice.

"I knew it," I grunted, feigning disappointment.  But I was smiling.  This is how my family worked and we all gently accepting it.

"Your papa and I thought we would call you for dinner tomorrow...if you are not busy," she added in an afterthought.

"Mom!" I shouted, tapping a pen over my notepad. "I am never busy for spending time with you. You two always push me away thinking you'll disturb me otherwise."

"Alright, alright, child. Come over tomorrow. I'm making something special for you."

Chad wasn't here yet. "Okay, mom," I said, distracted.

"What's wrong, darling? You sound frustrated."

What? Was that so obvious?

I concluded that I won't lose anything if I told her.  "Chad and I are having...something like a fight. I don't even understand why."

There was silence at her end.  When she's thought it out, she spoke with a clear, accusing tone.  "You screamed at him, didn't you?" 

"Yeah.  I told him that I'll fire him because he messed up, but of course, he knows that I didn't mean it."

"Stella. You know, sometimes you're so harsh on people you love. You possibly don't think it's a big deal. But what do you know about his feelings?"

But he's cheating on his boyfriend, and me being a dick to him doesn't explain that.

A knock on the door snapped me back to reality.  Chad waited outside my cabin, artfully leaning on the glass so that I couldn't see his face.

"Come in."  My voice rang across the glass room. "From when did you start knocking at my door, Chad?" I attacked him right away.

He didn't answer.  He simply walked in without even looking at my face.  My blood boiled. 

I stood up and grabbed my coat.  I wanted answers.  Right now. "We're going out now," I stated.

"Why?"  The disinterest in his words hurt.  

I grabbed at his wrist and pulled, but he skillfully freed himself from my hold and gave me a puzzled look.

"I am your boss.  And you do what I ask you to, okay?  Now come with me."  He looked like he might fight back, but decided against it and followed me outside.

We walked past a few streets silently.  I had the perfect spot in mind. 

I could tell that he was waiting for me to say something, but I patiently brought him to a bare stretch of ground that ran a few miles upfront. I jogged to a particularly dirty patch and waited for him to join me, my hands resting on my knees.  He took his time, patiently examining the place.  

I bent my knees to lie down on the dirt, eyes facing the sky.  It was a scorching hot day and I squeezed my eyes shut when the sun directly shined on my face.

I felt Chad fall beside me in a couple of seconds.  We stayed like that for a while.  I wished he would talk to me.  I wished he would talk to me like the way he did the first time we were here. Like I was his best friend.

But he didn't speak for a really long time.

I felt humiliated and wanted to leave.  But I was somehow frozen to the spot.  Just then, he spoke his first words.

"Why are we here, boss?"

I groaned at his 'boss'.  "Can you stop that already?  Remember the first time we were here?" I asked.  I felt my sunburns with my fingers and winced.

"I do," he blurted.  I grasped the smile in his words.

The last time we were here was a couple of years ago.  I had just known Chad for five months.  A huge carnival happened in this very dirty spot and Aimi, Chad and I had gone together.

"How can I forget that day?  Aimi vomited her guts out.  And I told you I was gay."

My brain raced to that memory.

Aimi didn't want to go in the Ferris wheel after she threw up, but Chad and I had reserved all our screaming for it.  So we left her behind and rode the giant wheel.  When the wheel stopped, we were at the top of the enormous wheel and the view was spectacular.  The enormous bowl we were strapped to gently bobbed left and right.  Soft fairy lights of all colours blurred into each other.  I felt like we were floating above a rainbow.

"Heaven," Chad whispered in awe.  He shifted his gaze to me and stared.  "Stella, you're my friend, right?"

I nodded, only half-listening to him.

"Can I tell you something important?  You can't tell anybody."

I scrunched my eyebrows together when I realized he was serious. Wondering what big secret he held in his sensitive heart, I encased his hands within mine.  "I promise."  

He glanced down at the lights, hesitating for a moment.  His hands were cold and sweaty under my skin.  When he opened his mouth to talk, the words came our small and shaky. "I'm gay."

I waited for a beat till it sank in. 

Oh! He's gay!

"Okay. That's great," I calmly responded.  He had more to say and I could see it in his glittering eyes.

"My parents don't know yet. I'm scared to tell them. Nobody really knows. I wanted to tell Aimi, but I didn't know how she would react. So I told you." He sighed. "I thought I could trust you, Stella."

I smiled. He doesn't know how much those words meant to me. "Would you feel better if I told you that I'm not straight either?"

I turned to my side, facing his present self.  "Why are you mad at me now, Chad?  What did I do?  And why are you kissing some random guy when you're with Reji?  You two are my favourite couple.  You two are perfect!  I don't get it."

His lips parted, searching for an answer.  "Well...I was embarrassed...because I screwed up."  Chad's face suddenly filled with anguish. "Nobody respects me anymore.  Reji hates me.  Now, you don't like me either.  Would you really fire me if I made another mistake?"

"Chad! Are you serious? Did you really think I meant that? You are the best thing that happened to my company. And me." Mom was right after all.

He hunted my face for a long moment and blew out a relieved sigh.

"I'm sorry that I scream at you all the time.  I was so hurt when you shouted at me at the club.  I felt like a loser....and...and...went to the bathroom and cried, you know that?"

"Really?"  He smiled, his voice teasing.  "I'm sorry, Stella."

"You're my best friend."

"You better not say that in front of Aimi.  She'd be devastated."

We grinned at each other. The tension has eased and I knew he won't be hostile with me anymore. But a dark question itched at my thoughts.

"But it just doesn't click.  You always brag about how Reji is the best thing that ever happened to you.  I feel jealous every time I see you together.  Reji and you are the perfect couple even if he...disrespected you...?  What happened?"

His brilliant green eyes struggled to hold my gaze.  He took a long, doleful breath before replying.  "I broke up with Reji."

"What?" I sat up straight, my eyes popping out of their sockets. 

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