italics: south

bold: bailey

i n c o m i n g c a l l : boilay...?

"Hello."

"HI BURGER MAN. I'M BORED SO I THOUGHT I'D GET TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU. I MEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST BE GOOD LOOKS."

"Are you okay? You sound like you've just breathed in helium or something."

"Oh, right. That's why I sounded weird. I knew I shouldn't have done that. You know, I had never inhaled helium before today."

"Right... I'm not even going to ask why you did it."

"Good! You're learning! Now, tell me something. What's your favourite thing to eat?"

"Ice cream."

"Oh, damn. I thought it would have been burgers or something. HAHAHAHAHAHA."

"Oh, I am SO sorry to disappoint you. I did not mean to not be in control of my tastes."

"Oh no, that's okay. I didn't expect you to be."

". . ."

"Wait, no. That was sarcasm wasn't it?"

"You're such a tubelight."

"Thank you! That's so nice! Oh wait... That was sarcasm too."

"Nice of you to realise."

"Yeah, I'm not generally good at sensing sarcasm. Oops."

"You know? I'm really not surprised."

"Okay I gotta go now buh-bye talk to you later blah blah blah."

"Um... Bye?"

a/n: i honestly like this version better. what do you think? did you prefer the 180482375986198359818 apologies or is this better?

dedicated to iwearheelys for writing some of the best books on wattpad, EVER.