"That was pathetic." Cristina states with disappointment. Briar and Meredith agree, with Briar booing Alex as he does the walk of shame back to their table, hitting Briar in the shoulder as he retakes his seat next to her.

"Oh, shut up."

"I bet I could get her number." Briar teases him, grinning when he nearly knocks her off her stool.

"She told you to go screw yourself." Meredith giggles. "We could hear it all the way over here."

"It's not 'cause she wasn't into me." Alex tries.

"Oh, does 'go screw yourself' have some secret meaning we're not aware of?" Cristina shoots back, and Briar is quick to tap her glass to hers in pride.

"I kinda already knew her. I just didn't remember." Alex confesses quietly, causing all three girls to whip their heads around to each other.

"You slept with her before and forgot about it and then tried to pick her up all over again?" Meredith asks, and Briar smiles when she sees the way Alex tries to hide his amusement by sipping his water, a smile slipping through anyway.

"You're not even drinking."

"I have a history of Alzheimer's in my family. What's your excuse?" Meredith jokes, and Briar can't resist high fiving her for that one.

"It's O'Malley's fault. I mean, talking about dead people, it throws me off my game, that's all."

"Hmm, and yet you have a tendency to pick people up at work." Briar teases with a wink, taking another sip of her pop. Meredith's phone rings, and she perks up, rushing to stand up.

"It's Janet! Can you, uh, pay for my thing?" She asks, and Cristina and Briar assure her, waving for her to answer it.

"God, I hope that's good news." Briar sighs, watching her move for a second before Alex and Briar's pagers both go off.

"We gotta run." Alex sighs, before turning to Cristina. "Would you pay for mine?"

"No. I'm leaving. I'm going to the skills lab." Cristina answers, setting money down to cover her and Meredith.

"Oh, come on."

"She had the social worker on the phone. You can fish 20 bucks out of your pocket." Cristina scoffs, leaving. Briar takes a few seconds to amusedly watch Alex pull change out of his pocket before she sets $40 on the table, covering the bill and the tip.

"Now, come on." Briar urges him, leading them out of the bar and into the hospital that they left behind mere hours ago.

✦

"The baby was born a couple hours ago and it looks like a tracheoesophageal fistula." Arizona reports, walking with Alex and Briar right behind her. Briar pulls on her dark blue Seattle Grace Hospital coat–the one designed for when they're transporting patients–while listening to her and Alex. Alex is the main doctor on this case, with Briar going along as backup. "Do you know what that is?"

"Yes. It's the connection between, uh, the trachea and esophagus. Fills the lungs with secretions. The baby can have a hard time breathing and feeding." Alex answers.

"Exactly. Bentley Hospital is tiny. They can't handle it." Arizona tells them. "So you need to go pick up the baby, bring her back, and then hopefully I'm done with the kid that's on his way in by the time you're back. You need to reconfigure the ambulance for intensive neonatal transport."

"I can run and do that." Briar says, rushing off so that Arizona can continue talking with Alex uninterrupted.

"Get some nurses to help you!" Arizona calls after her, and she nods, planning on doing just that.

She gets a crew to help her, and is quickly joined by Alex, Meredith and Derek. Alex and a nurse have the transport incubator, and Briar jumps down from the ambulance to help them load it in, seeing Meredith with a bag in each hand.

"Maybe there's an appeal process." Derek is saying to Meredith, and Briar feels her heart drop. Is the custody hearing no longer happening? Can they do that? "Did you ask?"

"I didn't."

"Did you talk to the lawyer?"

"I just got off the phone with Janet."

"We'll appeal. We'll sue the agency if we have to." Derek tells her.

"They don't think we should be Zola's parents, Derek." Meredith says, sounding and looking exhausted. "They don't think I'm trustworthy, and they're not the first ones to raise that concern."

"Meredith."

"They don't think I should be Zola's mother." Meredith continues quietly, and Briar shares a concerned look with Alex. "She's gone."

"It's gonna be okay." Derek assures her softly, pulling her into a hug that is clearly desperately needed for both of them. "Okay? We're gonna find a way." Meredith pulls away at that, just as Alex and Briar finish loading up the ambulance.

"Zola was our baby, and she's gone, and I don't want another baby." Meredith says firmly, turning and jumping into the ambulance, sitting next to Briar and staring straight ahead. Briar leaves her be, turning to look at a devastated Derek as he shuts the doors and they take off.

✦

"It's probably a mistake." Alex says, ignoring the wide eyed 'stop talking' look Briar is sending him. "You know, courts–they screw up all the time. You call 'em in the morning–"

"It's over, Alex." Meredith sighs. "It's been over for a while. Everyone knew it. No one wants to say it."

"So get–get a surrogate or whatever." Alex tries, making the situation worse with every word out of his mouth. "You can't just write off having a family like that. Get Yang to carry a kid for you. She gets knocked up at the drop of a–"

"If you don't shut up in the next three seconds, I'm gonna shove you out of the back of the rig." Meredith says, sounding exhausted.

"I'll help you." Briar pipes up, disgusted by everything he's saying.

Thankfully, Alex shuts up after that, instead sulking in his corner. None of them speak, all lost in thought.

✦

"Here, you grab that end." Alex tells Briar, grabbing one side of the incubator while Briar grabs the side he'd gestured to. Meredith grabs the bags, jumping down and helping them carefully lower the incubator before pushing it into the hospital.

"Hey, we're here to pick up a newborn, take her to Seattle Grace." Alex explains, quickly getting acknowledged by a doctor.

"You're looking for me. I'm Jordan Wagner. I am really glad to see you guys." He says, relief clear on his face.

"I'm Alex Karev. That's Briar Sinclair and Meredith Grey." Alex introduces them all, with Briar giving him a nod.

"Okay. Li–uh, listen, she was born six hours ago." Wagner starts, leading them to the baby's room. "Right away, trouble breathing. Stomach looked distended, so we put down an N.G. tube. But the X-ray showed that it was just coiling in her chest. We've done everything we can to keep her breathing, but it's been a struggle."

"You don't have a neonatal mask?" Alex asks.

"We're not set up for neonatal or O.B." Wagner explains, and Briar and Meredith share a grimace. They arrive at the room then, and they're quick to get set up and start examining the baby. "She was an emergency delivery. Otherwise, we would've sent her to the hospital in Leavenworth."

"Pulse Ox is 79. Respiratory rate is 80." Meredith reports.

"She's got retractions." Briar continues. "How come she's not intubated?"

"The smallest tube we had didn't fit. Please tell me that you brought a neonatal tube." Wagner says, and Briar feels for him. She can't imagine how horrible the last few hours have been for him, trying to keep her alive with incredibly limited resources.

"We're gonna need x-ray in here for a post-intubation film." Alex tells him.

"This I.V's no good."

"Yeah, you don't even have a neonatal central line kit." Alex sighs.

"No."

"I.O. needle?"

"No." Wagner admits, looking mortified. Meredith starts going through their supplies, while Briar finishes up her examination.

"She's got pneumonia." Briar sighs, sharing a grim look with Alex. "She's septic. We need to work fast. I'm going to call Arizona."

Arizona doesn't answer, and so Briar calls Jackson next, hoping that he hasn't been pulled into the O.R. on any cases. Thankfully, he answers.

"Hey? I thought you were out–" He starts, but Briar quickly cuts him off.

"Jackson, listen, I need you to get Arizona right now." She rushes out. "Our baby is septic, and we have very limited supplies. We need her advice."

"On it. She's in the O.R. but I'll head right over." Jackson assures her, and she puts the phone on speaker, setting it on the bed so that her hands are free.

"Avery! What's the deal?" They hear Mark call out over the other line.

"Nose is hanging off and a lot of soft tissue loss." Jackson reports, and Briar wrinkles her nose, suddenly thankful that she isn't at the hospital currently. "Probably nerve damage. I'll let you know when Dr. Robbins is ready for you."

A minute later, Jackson enters the O.R. to the relief of the doctors on the phone.

"It's Sinclair." He tells Arizona, and Alex is quick to report.

"The kid's septic. She's got pneumonia."

"Was she intubated when you got there?"

"No. They don't have any neonatal stuff here at all." Alex explains, while Briar focuses on squeezing the neonatal ambu bag. One, two, squeeze. One, two, squeeze. "We intubated. We started an umbilical line to hang D10 normal saline and antibiotics. But her SATs aren't coming up, and all the oxygen's going to her stomach."

"You're gonna need to put in an amplatz umbrella." Arizona instructs.

"They don't have a 3-0 E.T. tube. You think they're gonna have an amplatz?" Alex snaps.

"Alright. Elevate her head." Arizona says, and Briar rushes to do just that. "Do they have a Fogarty catheter? They use those on grown-ups."

Wagner has one of his nurses leave to go grab one, relieving Briar. At least this hospital has something they can use.

"Yeah, what else?" Alex asks.

"You're gonna have to thread the Fogarty down her trachea, pretty far down, then blow up the balloon, and pull up until you get traction. That'll occlude the fistula and get the air flowing into the lungs. You're gonna have to keep the blind pouch clear on your way back. And I'm not sure you have anything in your box that's gonna help you do that."

"Uh, how about an 8 french suction catheter?" Alex asks, looking through their supplies.

"Yeah, that'll work." Arizona says just as Alex pulls it out of the box.

"Got it. Alright. We're gonna call you when we get to the rig."

"Hey, Alex. You don't have a lot of time, you know that, right?" Arizona asks, only adding to the pressure all of them feel.

"Yeah, I know that." He sighs, hanging up the phone and putting it in his pocket.

✦

Briar feels instant dread when she sees how bad the storm has gotten, wincing at a particularly loud thunder strike as the four of them push the incubator toward the exit. She's not excited about transporting a baby during a dark, stormy night, especially one who has been through as much as this baby has.

"Is that them?" She hears behind them, a woman's voice sounding desperate. "Wait! I'm coming with you!"

"Dana?" Wagner asks, surprised to see his patient out of bed, even if she's still in a wheelchair. "Why is she out here?"

"She said if I didn't take her, she'd walk." The nurse pushing the chair explains. "I was afraid she'd try it."

"Please let me come with her." Dana begs, and Briar's heart breaks at the tears on her face and the knowledge that they can't bring her with them. There isn't enough room, and they need to be completely focused on her baby.

"Dana . . . you just had surgery." Wagner says softly, bending down to be at eye level with her. "You've lost a lot of blood."

"I'll be fine. Please." She pleads, more tears falling down her face.

"I need you to take care of yourself. These guys, they're the best. She is in great hands." Wagner promises, but she only cries harder, staring behind him at the incubator holding her baby.

"Please. She's my baby." She sobs. "We're supposed to be together. I can't leave her. She's so little. Please. I have to be with her. Please let me go with her."

"I'm Dr. Grey." Meredith introduces herself, having walked back to meet her. "And they are Dr. Karev and Dr. Sinclair. And we're gonna take your daughter to the best baby surgeon there is."

"She doesn't even have a name yet." She tells them.

"Well, you're gonna give her one when you come to Seattle and hold her in your arms. And until that time, I'm gonna take care of her. You hear me? I have her. Okay?" The look that passes between them can only be described as the understanding of two mothers, and Briar feels her hurt for Meredith growing when she turns back to them, tears in her eyes once again.

They're quick to load the baby up, not wanting her to be in the rain a second longer than she has to be, and wanting to get back before the storm worsens. The three of them get soaked in seconds, and Briar takes a second to retie her hair once they're all settled, tossing it up into a messy bun to deal with when she doesn't have a baby's life in her hands.

"You know, why not try adoption again?" Alex asks Meredith a few minutes into their drive, and Briar has to fight the urge to hit her head back against the wall. What is he doing?

"Social services just took our kid away. What do you think, if we wait a week, they'll forget and give us another try with a new kid?" Meredith asks dryly.

"Alright. So get a surrogate."

"If you suggest me next, I will actually punch you." Briar sighs, staring at the baby across from her.

"Alex."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want a surrogate. Okay? Just drop it." Meredith sighs, sounding exhausted.

"No. You just don't give up like that." Alex continues, once again ignoring the way Briar is glaring at him, wishing he would respect Meredith's wishes and drop the subject.

"It's nice that you care, but it really isn't any of your business." Meredith tells him, shooting Briar an exasperated glance.

"It is. It's my fault." Alex says softly. "I can't handle being responsible for you not having kids. It's too much."

It's not your damn fault, Briar thinks, biting her lip so that she doesn't speak it out loud. While she normally would've already said it, she doesn't want to kick Meredith while she's already down.

"I–it's not your fault." Meredith finally admits.

"Yeah, it is." Alex protests, and Briar wants to scream at him. She keeps silent, wishing she had her phone that's still in Alex's pocket so that she could busy herself with something. This conversation needs to be between Meredith and Alex only, as much as it pains her to sit silently by while they go back and forth.

"No, it's my fault." Meredith confesses. "I got the ball rolling. I messed with the trial. What you did was shitty, but what I did was illegal."

"Who cares? You just don't give up." Alex continues. "It's lame. You're not a quitter. That's not who you are."

Before Meredith can respond, there's a creaking sound as the engine sputters, the ambulance pulling to the right–still in the road. Briar reaches forward, steadying the incubator even as she nearly flies out of her chair, turning to make sure that Alex and Meredith are still okay.

"Dude, what's the problem?" Alex calls out, leaning back to talk to the driver. There's no response, but the paramedic driver opens the back doors a minute later. "What happened to the engine?"

"I don't know what the crap it is." He admits, pulling out orange cones. "I called for another unit, but we're in the middle of nowhere. It's gonna take forever. I'm putting these out and I'm gonna run back. It looked like there was a store or something about half a mile back. Maybe they got a truck. You gotta get out of the rig."

"We're on the highway!" Briar protests, sharing a distressed look with Meredith, still holding the side of the incubator.

"It's pouring rain and freezing!" Meredith adds. "We can't go out there with the baby."

"There's no shoulder. It's not like we can just take the incubator out. I mean, there's not even anywhere to stand." Alex continues, all of them sharing exasperated looks with each other.

"This thing is full of oxygen tanks. We get hit, it'll go up like a roman candle. You gotta get out." He tells them, as if it makes more sense for them to bring a sick baby into the pouring rain in the middle of a highway.

"And leave the baby?"

"She'll die!"

"You want to all die? I'm putting these out. You better hope people can see 'em." He says, holding up the cones. "You're on a hill and you're on a curve. I'm telling you, get out the damn rig."

He slams the doors shut and takes off. Briar, Meredith and Alex share a look, knowing that none of them will abandon their patient or each other.

"What do we do?" Meredith sighs out, stressed.

"Alex, give me my phone." Briar finally says, holding her hand out and immediately calling Jackson when he hands it over.

"Please tell me you're nearly back, because I am having the worst day." Jackson says as soon as she answers, sounding wrecked.

"Pretty sure I have you beat." Briar says wryly. "The ambulance broke down in the middle of the highway, and we're sitting ducks in this storm. I need you to track down Arizona for me again."

"Oh, fuck." Jackson swears, and she hears him take off to go find the attending. "How are you doing? How's the baby?"

"We're fine, but we're on a curve and we can't stand in the middle of the street in this storm. We also can't stay here, 'cause this thing is full of oxygen tanks." Briar explains grimly. "If we get hit at the right angle, we're going up."

"That's not going to happen." Jackson says instantly, and if he didn't sound so panicked it might be reassuring. A second later his voice raises, and Briar assumes that he's talking to Arizona. "Ambulance broke down, like, in the middle of the road. They can't move. They can't get out."

"Did they send a backup?" Derek asks, instantly sounding worried.

"It's coming, but it's slow." Jackson answers.

"Put her on speakerphone." Derek continues, clearly hoping to talk to Meredith.

"Alex?" Arizona asks.

"We can't move!" Alex repeats. "We're sitting ducks. We–the baby can't be transported, not in these conditions and we can't wait all night for backup!"

There's a pause, and then Arizona's voice crackles through. "Wa–hold on. I can't–say that again."

"We gotta take the baby out of here." Briar jumps in. "But it's not any safer out there than it is in here."

There's a stretch of static before Derek's voice comes through, talking to Jackson. "Leave the phone and see if you can get a helicopter up there."

"Yeah." He agrees, before speaking into the phone again. "Briar, baby, you're going to be fine. I'll be right back. Here, take the phone."

"Secure the umbilical line with extra tape." Arizona orders a moment later, and Briar watches as Alex scrambles to do just that. "You need the D10. Put the oxygen tank in the holster, and take the paramedic kit."

"Get out of the rig." Derek urges.

"Swaddle her so that she stays warm!" Arizona continues, while Briar grabs the paramedic kit.

"We can't regulate her body temp outside of the incubator." Alex points out, while Briar grabs a blanket, ready to try her hardest.

"What?" Arizona asks.

"We can't regulate her temp without the incubator!" Alex repeats, growing frustrated with having to repeat themselves because of the line breaking.

"They may have to leave the kid." Mark says, and Briar instantly narrows her eyes.

"You would never suggest that if this was Sofia." She snaps, shaking her head in disbelief. There's no chance of her leaving without this baby, and she knows that Meredith and Alex feel the same way.

"We are not leaving the baby." Meredith confirms that, sounding disgusted by the thought.

"At least one of you should get out of the rig!" Mark snaps back. "Briar, come on. You can't all stay in there."

"What are they gonna do, flip a coin?" Derek asks him, and Briar scoffs.

"No, we're gonna play rock paper scissors. Best of three gets to live." She says sarcastically. "Either we all leave or we all stay. That's it."

"You're sitting in a powder keg." Mark says back.

"Get out." Alex urges, ignoring the way Briar and Meredith glare at him again.

"Alex."

"Not a chance." Briar says firmly.

"Go. There's no reason for all of us to get killed." He continues.

"We're no safer in the middle of the damn road!" Meredith shouts back, tired of people urging them to leave someone behind.

"Especially in this storm." Briar scoffs, crossing her arms. "We're staying. Deal with it."

"I'm telling you to get out of the damn rig!" Alex snarls, pointing to the doors as if they'll agree and leave him behind.

"Alex, if you want to go, you go!" Meredith snaps. "We're not gonna fix your guilt by me letting you die in an ambulance so I–"

Their arguing is cut off by something crashing into the ambulance. Briar and Meredith fly out of their seats and hit their heads on the incubator, while Alex falls sideways out of his. Anything not hidden in a cabinet goes flying with them, and Briar feels multiple things hitting her as she gets sent backwards before falling on the ground on top of Meredith.

When the world rights itself again, Briar has to give herself a second to breathe through the pain and the panic before she pushes herself up. Her arms shake but she ignores it, pulling herself off of Meredith and quickly looking around for Alex.

"Alex? Are you okay?" She asks frantically, relieved when he sits up and groans.

"Yeah. Are you? Mer?" He asks them, and Briar nods to confirm that they're okay, turning to the incubator to check on the baby. "You're both bleeding!"

"Yeah, we–we hit the top of the incubator." Briar tells him, frowning as she lifts her hand up to her face, feeling around until she feels wetness on her cheek. Her hand comes back smeared in blood, but she ignores it for the time being. Meredith is pulling the baby out of the incubator, and Briar rushes to grab her a blanket, ignoring the way her body aches with every movement, protesting its rough treatment.

"Mer, put her back in." Alex sighs, taking a second to cradle Briar's face until she pulls away from him. They don't have time to worry about a small cut on her face.

"She just got thrown around a plastic box." Meredith snaps, carefully cradling the baby. "She needs to be held. I'm not putting her back in."

"We need to get out of here before this thing blows." Alex states the obvious. Briar groans, pulling herself all the way up and grabbing the bag.

"Well, how are we gonna do that? She's connected to a million things." Meredith frets while Alex starts gathering up the wires.

"Briar has the bag, you have the baby, and I'll get the O-2 tank and the I.V." Alex decides. "We're gonna disconnect her from the antibiotics."

"Is that gonna be okay?" Meredith worries, but they have no choice.

"It's gonna have to be." Alex says, watching as Meredith continues to squeeze the ambu bag before Briar opens the doors, leading the four of them out of the ambulance. When they climb out, it's to the sight of the car that crashed into them turned on its side and on fire, three bodies thrown out of it.

Briar sucks in a shocked breath, the only reaction she allows herself before pushing her surprise down, turning to her friends. "Alex, triage. Meredith, keep taking care of the baby. I'm going to go check the car."

"Uh, absolutely not." Alex protests instantly, shaking his head and grabbing her arm. "Briar, the car is on fire. You're not going near it."

"I have training, I'll be fine." Briar brushes his worries off, purposely not mentioning that she doesn't have any of the tools she had during her firefighter training. "I need to make sure there aren't more victims. Go check them out and keep me updated."

Briar pushes past him with that said, her stomach twisting at the amount of blood she steps through to get to the vehicle.

"Is anyone in here?" She calls out once she's next to the car, hoping that if anyone is, they're awake and responsive, like the man on the ground is. Alex is taking care of him now. Relief floods her when there's a groan and clattering from the right side of the car, and she quickly moves to help a young woman crawl out of the window.

"Hey, careful." She urges gently, cradling the side of her head as she pulls herself free. "Careful, there's broken glass. There we go. Honey, what's your name?"

"Mom?" She whimpers, paying no notice to Briar. Her gaze is focused on one of the women on the ground, and she frantically crawls over to her and starts shaking her shoulder. "Mom, wake up. Mom, wake up!"

"Hey, look at me." Briar says, quickly joining them and grabbing the girl's shoulder. "There you go. We're going to do everything we can to help them, but I need you to answer some questions for me."

"O–okay." She stutters, her gaze flickering between Briar and her mother. Briar gives her the gentlest smile she can muster, wanting to give her any comfort she can in such a horrible situation.

"What's your name?"

"Lily."

"I'm Briar. That's Meredith, and that's Alex. We're all doctors, and we're going to help all of you. Is there anyone else in the van?"

"I don't–I don't know." She says, her entire body shaking from the force of her crying. "You have to–you have to help them!"

"We will." Briar says softly, giving up on getting any information from her. "You see that blonde woman over there, holding the baby? That's Meredith. Go over to her, she'll check you out."

"I–I'm fine." She chokes out, even as she starts stumbling over to Meredith, who talks to her before handing over the baby, having Lily focus on squeezing the ambu bag instead of looking at her hurt family members.

"No matter what you do, don't stop squeezing. One, two, squeeze." Meredith counts off for her, moving to help Alex with triaging the victims on the ground while Briar moves back to the van. She's careful as she pulls herself up, wincing when the van rocks a little with her movement, and nearly falls off of it when she hears a muffled groan.

"Hello?" She calls down, frowning at the lack of light. The fire hasn't taken over the van yet, focused on the front right tire, and she keeps glancing over to make sure it hasn't spread too far. The last thing they need is the car going up in flames. "I'm a doctor, call out!"

"O–ow." She hears, frowning when it doesn't seem to be coming from inside the car.

"You got any tape in there? I need to do an adhesive dressing." Meredith calls out from where she's examining Lily's mom.

"Probably. I just grabbed whatever." Alex answers.

"It's in the front pocket of my bag!" Briar shouts over her shoulder, slowly lowering herself out of the van and starting to jog around it. She swore she heard someone . . .

"Briar, where are you going?" Alex calls after her.

"I heard someone!" She shouts back. "Now shut up and let me listen! If you can hear me, call out!"

"Ov–over here!" She hears a boy's voice, more clearly now as she runs around the last corner, finding a young boy stuck under the back of the van, blood smeared across the side of his face. "Help! Help!"

"I've got you." She soothes him, dropping to her knees next to him to get a better look at what she's dealing with. "My name is Briar. What's your name, sweetheart?"

"Mi–Michael." He pants out, wide eyes tracking her every moment.

"Okay, Michael, I don't know if you heard me earlier but I'm a doctor. I'm going to get you out of here, but first I need to check your pulse. Is that okay?" When he nods, she reaches out and feels for a pulse in his neck. It's not as strong as she would like, but it's good that he's awake and responsive, and she tries to focus on that. "Okay. Can you feel your legs?"

"Y–yeah." He stutters out. "Is that–is that bad?"

"No, it's really good." She promises, giving him a small smile. "You're going to be okay. My friends are taking care of your parents and sisters, and I'm going to move this off of your legs, okay? Try not to move. Let me do all the work."

"Okay." He whispers, and Briar reaches out to squeeze his shoulder gently before standing up and attempting to lift the metal off of him. It doesn't work, and Briar looks around her desperately. She needs something to use as leverage. If she can make a lever system . . .

"Briar, there's a car coming!" Alex screams, terror in his voice, and Briar's heart drops while Michael whimpers from below her. "You gotta get out of there!"

"Michael!" Lily screams, and Michael instantly starts calling out for his sister.

"Don't leave, please." He begs, and Briar instantly shakes her head.

"I'm not going anywhere, honey. Not without you." She promises. There's no world where she would leave a kid in the middle of the road to save her own life–what kind of life would she live after that?

"Briar, move!" Alex screams again, but Briar ignores him, continuing to try and lift the metal. Her entire body hurts with every movement, but she can't bring herself to give up. "Lily, just keep counting. BRIAR! You have to get off the road right now!"

"Oh my god." Michael panics, looking behind them at the headlights rapidly approaching. "Oh my god, we're going to die. We're going to die!"

"Oh, come on!" Briar grunts, pushing up with all of her strength. She knows that it's not going to work, but she can't stop either.

"Briar, if you don't get off the damn road– MEREDITH!" Alex screams, and Briar looks up just as Meredith runs past her. "What the hell are you–they're not even gonna see you! Meredith, what are you doing?"

Briar watches as Meredith starts waving her arms in the air, jumping up and down as tires screech, the car coming closer to them.

"Stop, please!" Meredith shouts. Briar has a second to think that she's going to watch Meredith die before her and Michael meet the same fate, only to sag in relief when an ambulance pulls to a stop right in front of her. Meredith slowly lowers her arms, turning to give Briar a shocked look.

"Holy shit." Briar breathes out, letting go of the metal and looking down to Michael. "Okay, let's get you out of here."

The paramedics work on freeing him, having more tools in their ambulance than they do, and Briar moves to check on Michael's family after he asks about them. She doesn't even make it halfway there before Alex is yanking her into a hug, his entire body shaking.

"Don't ever do that again, I fucking mean it." He snaps, squeezing her impossibly tight before letting up when she lets out a wheeze. "Seriously, Briar, you can't do that to me."

"I'm sorry but I had to." She tells him, knowing that he understands, before pulling away. "Okay, what are we working with here?"

Alex lowers his voice, not wanting Lily or Michael to overhear. "The grandma is DOA. Mer has a 13 year old girl with glass in her eye. I've got the father if you get the mother."

"On it." Briar nods, dropping down and beginning her examination, adrenaline still flowing through her.

✦

"14 year old male, trapped under a van. His pulse is 120 but he has feeling in his legs." Briar reports to Bailey as soon as they arrive at the hospital, jumping down from the ambulance as Michael's stretcher gets pulled out. He's holding her hand. "He has abdominal pain. B.P. 100 over 80."

"I've got him." Bailey says firmly. "Go get checked out."

"I'm fine." Briar says impatiently, not worried about herself, but Bailey shakes her head, giving her her famous no-nonsense look.

"You're no use to me while bleeding yourself. Go get checked out and see where Hunt wants you. I've got him." Briar reluctantly lets go of Michael's hand, watching as she starts barking orders. She knows that he's in good hands with Bailey, but it's still hard to step back and let her work.

She turns to Meredith instead of hovering, pulling the woman into a tight hug.

"Thank you." She says fiercely. "Thank you for that, but also, if you ever put yourself in danger like that again to save me, I'll kill you myself."

"You're welcome." Meredith laughs, shaking her head and joining Bailey to help Michael.

"Briar! Here, let me stitch that up for you." Owen says, suddenly in her space. Briar blinks and is being pulled to sit down on a nearby bed.

"I'm fine, seriously." She sighs, but Owen is frowning down at her hands.

"What did you do?" He asks, and Briar is startled to see various cuts on her hands and knuckles. Now that she's noticed them, they start stinging and she flinches slightly.

"I, uh, I pulled him out from under a van." She explains, pointing to Michael. "Seriously, I'm fine. Are you okay?" A closer look at Owen shows reddened eyes and a deep sadness in them.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He sighs out, but it's obvious that he's lying. He's getting called for a second later, and he looks her directly in her eyes before he leaves. "Get those cuts stitched up before anything else!"

Just as Briar is preparing to get up and go back to Michael, she hears her name called out as Jackson rushes around the corner.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here earlier, I took Derek's place in a surgery and–that doesn't matter. Are you okay?" He asks her in a rush, grabbing her face in between his hands as soon as he's in front of her. His eyebrows furrow as he starts tilting her head to get a better view, and this close up she can see dried tear tracks on his face.

"I'm fine, I promise." She assures him, watching over his shoulder as Meredith and Bailey take Michael out of the pit and to surgery. She wants to join them, but the logical side of her brain reminds her that she has no purpose in that surgery. She'll just hover and be in their way, which will only put her on Bailey's bad side. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Am I okay?" He mumbles, scoffing. "You're the one who was in a car accident. Fuck, Briar, I thought–when I got back to the room, and heard the phone ringing out, and–and they told me they'd heard a bang over the line before it cut, I thought–I thought you were dead."

His voice breaks on the last word, and Briar quickly pulls him down for a hug. She's been so busy with everything going on that she didn't stop to think about how the others would feel.

"I'm okay." She repeats, softly this time. She pulls back, smiling when he reaches up to cradle her face again. He's so gentle with her, and she loves it so much. "I promise that I'm okay. I hit my head on the incubator when we crashed, but the ambulance didn't blow like we thought it might. I'm really okay."

"You hit your head?" He asks, his eyes widening. He looks like he's preparing for her to keel over or start bleeding from her eyes or something.

"Yeah, but I didn't lose consciousness or anything. Seriously, I'm good." Briar says again, wondering how many times she'll have to say that before he believes her.

"Does your head hurt?" He asks, pulling a pen light out of his scrubs. "Here, follow this."

Briar rolls her eyes fondly but follows the pen light, and answers his questions afterward. They go over who the president is, when they met, what day it is, and so on until Briar finally has enough.

"I think we've proven that I still have my memory. Can I go be useful now?" She asks, moving to stand up only to be–gently but firmly–pushed right back to the hospital bed. Jackson moves to stand between her legs, trapping her there, a frown still on his face.

"I don't know. I think you should get a CT done to be safe." He says, and she instantly shakes her head.

"Uh, no. I have no signs of head trauma, and that's just a waste of time and a test." She protests, reaching up to grab his face and forcing him to really look at her. "Look, I get that you're freaking out, but it's quickly going from sweet to ridiculous. I am fine. I didn't even break my nose for once! I just need to stitch this up and I'll be on my merry way to go cut someone open."

"You're a little serial killer." He murmurs, but his lips quirk up. Briar is relieved to see him do something other than frown. "Fine, but I'll do the stitches."

"Fine, but make them pretty." Briar tells him with a teasing smile, pleased when his smile widens.

"Oh, well, in that case, it's a good thing your boyfriend's such a competent plastic surgeon." He says with a smug glint in his eyes, and she rolls her eyes.

"Oh, shit." Briar groans, catching a glimpse of the time while he gathers the materials to stitch her up. "I guess game night is gonna need to be rescheduled. Remind me to call Henry when you're done."

In front of her, Jackson freezes. There's a long moment where he just gapes at her before sadness creeps onto his face again, and Briar feels fear flood her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks, her heart starting to race.

Jackson slowly sets the materials down on the tray next to them, giving Briar a worried look.

"Briar, about Henry . . ." He trails off, his mouth opening and closing for a second, but he doesn't have to finish the sentence. Briar knows as soon as he says her friend's name with that look on her face.

"No." She says instantly, shaking her head. "No, he–he was fine yesterday. I talked to him yesterday."

"It was his tumor condition." Jackson explains quietly, and Briar feels her throat starting to close up. "He had one in his lungs. He was brought in right around the time you left because Teddy found him coughing up blood. Cristina operated, along with Webber and Lexie, but it–it was too advanced. I'm sorry, Ry, I really am."

Briar just stares at him in disbelief. That doesn't make sense. She was supposed to be hanging out with him tonight. Instead, he's dead.

"Fuck. How–how's Teddy?" She asks around her tears, worried about how the attending is handling her husband's sudden death. "And Cristina. I mean, operating on her mentor's husband like that . . ."

"Cristina, uh, she didn't know." Jackson explains. "They didn't tell her before they operated. And Teddy doesn't know about Henry, because she's operating on a woman I almost killed with that spinal fusion last week. One of the screws lacerated her heart."

"What!?"

✦

As numb as Briar feels, she knows that Lily is feeling worse.

She finds the girl in the waiting room, her knees pulled up to her chest and a shattered look in her eyes. She's already watched her mom die, her grandma was dead on scene, and her other family members are in surgery. Briar can't help but feel responsible for it–their van crashed into their ambulance. Maybe, if they'd gotten out sooner, they could've waved them down and stopped the accident. She'll never know if she could've helped more, and it breaks her heart.

"Hey." She says softly, not wanting to scare her. Lily still jumps in her seat and Briar gives her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to give you this. Can I?"

Lily just nods, staring at the far wall again, and Briar carefully wraps the blanket she bought from the gift shop around her shoulders.

"I know you probably don't feel hungry, but in case you are, I grabbed some random stuff." She says, setting the bag of different snacks in the seat next to hers. "There's water in there too. You should really drink some."

"I can't." She whispers, shaking her head. More tears stream down her face with the movement. "I can't mo–move."

"Okay. Do you want me to help you?" She asks softly, sitting at her other side and uncapping one of the water bottles. When she nods, Briar brings it up to her mouth, slowly tipping it up and helping her drink from it. When she's done, Briar puts it on the ground next to her, leaning back in her chair. "Do you want company or do you want to be alone?"

"Alone." She whispers, and Briar gives her a soft smile as she stands up, surprised when a hand latches onto her arm. "Is, uh, is the baby okay?"

"She is." Briar reassures her, having spoken to Arizona about it. "She had surgery and she's okay. You did a great job earlier, thank you."

"So I didn't . . . I didn't mess up?" She asks, looking up at Briar, whose breath catches at the innocence on her face. She's so young.

"No, honey, you helped keep her alive." Briar promises, and Lily crumples. She sobs into her scrub top as soon as Briar pulls her into a hug. The angle is awkward, with her knees digging into Briar's ribs, but she refuses to pull back until Lily does, wiping her tears away and sitting back in her seat. Her eyes go back to the wall, that same distant look hitting them, and Briar leaves her to go check on her family.

✦

Briar finds Cristina in the locker room, sitting on a bench and staring into the distance. She's got a broken look to her that Briar has seen far too often over the last few hours, and she doesn't look over when Briar sits next to her and grabs her hand.

"Come home with us." Briar says softly.

"I shouldn't." Cristina murmurs, dropping her head down on Briar's shoulder.

"You should." Briar says firmly. "You need a break, Cristina. Come home with me and Alex."

"Okay." She agrees softly, but neither of them move until Alex comes to get them, pulling them off the bench and driving them home. The three of them curl up in Briar's bed, with Briar in the middle, and they don't talk at all for a long time. There's too much to say, and not enough words to say it.

"I don't get it." Cristina says finally, when Briar has nearly fallen asleep. She jerks, elbowing Alex in his side, grimacing apologetically at him when he groans. "I don't--I can understand them not telling me that it was Henry I was operating on. I--I don't like it, but I can understand it. But afterwards . . .  why would Owen send me into her O.R. after I killed her husband, without informing her of it. It was torture. She was so happy, singing and dancing and--and--why would he do that to her? Why would he do that to me?"

"I don't know." Briar whispers, hurting for her. "I'm sorry, Cristina."

"Yeah, me too." She mumbles, sighing loudly. "I don't get it."

They fall asleep all smushed together. When she wakes up the next morning, it's to find that she ended up lying on top of Cristina at some point in the night with one hand curled around Alex's stomach in a way that has her shoulder aching. She's just about to fall back asleep when a loud cry wakes them all up.

"Ugh, Zola, go back to bed." Cristina mumbles into her pillow, before freezing.

"Oh my god." Briar breathes out, sitting straight up at the same time as Cristina and knocking their foreheads together.

"Is that--?" Alex asks, also jolting up.

"Zola!"

Briar has never seen Derek and Meredith smile as widely as they do when the three of them run into their bedroom, where they're playing with a now happy Zola on their bed. Briar nearly falls over at the sight, sharing a surprised look with Cristina and Alex.

"She's ours." Derek tells them, beaming.

Briar nearly tackles them both off of the bed, she's so happy with the news. It's been such an awful few days, but it's all worth it to have Zola back where she belongs.

authors note

Stella Maeve plays Lily, and she also plays Nadia in Chicago PD/SVU. She's an amazing actress who always gets me sobbing!!

ZOLA'S BACK!!!

this episode destroys me every time. i hate what they did to cristina and teddy with this plotline ☹️ it's so cruel. also endlessly frustrated with the idea of cristina being a "robot" when she's proven time and time again to be a very loving and loyal person.

HENRY ☹️☹️☹️ YOU DESERVED BETTER KING!

there will be more mentions of henry because briar really did enjoy being friends with him :(

also i went back and added a few TW's to chapters that i felt needed them, but if you ever notice a chapter that you think could use them, please let me know! the problem with writing ahead is that i forget what is in some of these chapters 😅 i never want to trigger anyone but if i do pls lmk!! in general though there will be occasional references to childhood sexual assault, foster care, abuse, and the greys TW's: death, blood, shootings etc 

i pushed through a migraine to edit this bc i wanted you guys to have it on time!! having covid sucks guys :(  i hateeee calling off work so im nervous to do that tomorrow but i don't want to spread this so!! facing my anxiety!!

okay im considering writing the "what if" episode just for the humor... would anyone be interested in that?? it obviously wouldn't fit within the actual storylines bc that's the whole point of the alternate universe but!! it could be entertaining!! i have a few different ideas for it IF you guys want it. if yes, is there anything you want to see?

love you guys always <3