Every day brings them closer to their boards, and Briar feels like she's going insane.

There aren't enough hours in the day for everything she needs to do: eat, sleep, study, work, cook, and have a social life. It's impossible. Briar is stretching herself too thin, and she knows it, but there's nothing she can do about it. Instead, she throws herself into surgeries like her life depends on it, because it does–or, at least, her future does.

"Practice, practice, practice until it is perfect, people." Owen tells them, pacing in front of their large group in the O.R. "This is a long, complex procedure with many parts. Therefore, many opportunities for error. So we're gonna go over this again. Team leaders, let's get in place."

Briar's entire body aches, but she doesn't voice a complaint, instead just stretching herself out and looking around the room. She's not the only one feeling tired, but there's also a high energy in the room with the knowledge that they're going to perform such a rare and high-stakes surgery.

"Alright, green team over here, please." Derek calls, a green band around his scrub cap. Arizona has a red one around hers, and the people with matching colors rotate around to be with their team. Briar is on red, while Callie is on green.

"We've offered this family every pro bono dollar, every surgical hand, every resource this hospital has." Owen continues with his speech while they gather around the hospital bed. "So I'm asking you for every resource that you have. Be sharp, be present, be focused. Dr. Robbins has been caring for these children since the day they were born. They will each get a new life today. Our actions will decide what kind of lives they will be."

With that, he lifts up the sheet, revealing the dolls representing the conjoined twins that they will be separating–one for the green team, one for the red.

"Let's begin."

✦

"Flaps are inset and viable." Mark reports on the green team baby, stepping back from the table.

"We are looking at at least 18 hours, so come and go if you need to, hydrate, eat, but be here at least 30 minutes before your procedures."

"Alright. Next up, general surgery." Arizona calls, and Briar watches from her spot next to Alex and across from Derek. "First we need to establish each baby's blood supply to the shared colon."

"Then we separate the colon, making the first incision–" The general surgeon for the green team speaks up, getting interrupted by Arizona. She's high strung over this operation.

"I will make the first incision. We'll separate the colon." She emphasizes.

"Okay, and now I'm checking the displaced kidneys–"

"To make sure they're intact and functioning." Arizona clarifies, once again interrupting him. Briar shares a look with Alex, whose eyebrow is arched up at his mentor.

"Uh, that's implied."

"I don't care. Say it." Arizona orders him, and Briar suddenly dreads her turn, despite being on the same team as her.

"Man, she's wound up tight." Richard says from his spot behind them, and Briar fights down a smile.

"Thought you were off work today." Alex tells him.

"I won't see another one of these in my lifetime. You're doing the flip, right, Karev? With Robbins?"

"Mm-hmm."

"The flip's a critical part. You ready?"

"Yes, sir."

"You forgot to cauterize! You want this baby to bleed out?" Arizona snaps. Briar shares a look with Jackson, who is also on the red team.

"Look, I know this procedure is her baby, but she keeps nitpicking everybody, she'll destroy their confidence. Don't let her do that to you." Richard continues, and Briar raises an eyebrow, amused. Is he seriously trying to scare Alex into taking over for him?

"Oh, no, sir."

"Good, because if this flip goes wrong, she's gonna blame you. It'll go on your record, and–and boards coming up–it's not gonna look good. Glad it's not me."

"Okay, it's time to flip them." Arizona announces, done with the guy in front of her, who she's completely destroyed the confidence of.

"Karev, you're up!" Derek calls, and Richard pats Alex on the back as he walks up.

"You're such a snake." Briar teases, laughing when Richard winks at her.

"No idea what you're talking about."

"Of course not." She snorts, turning to watch Alex and Arizona.

"Ready?" Arizona asks him, and Alex slowly nods, looking nervous now.

Come on, Alex, she thinks, only to wince when it goes completely wrong.

"Karev, you rushed it! You're like two steps ahead of me." Arizona snaps.

"No, you over me." Alex snaps back. "Yours over mine, everything's fine. Mine over yours, babies in the morgue!"

Briar can't help but snort, meeting Jackson's amused look.

"That's your pneumonic device?" Arizona demands, incredulous.

"Great. Now Brandi's wounds are exposed, and little Andi's gone without oxygen for a whole minute." Owen interrupts their arguing.

"Okay, I–can we start over?" Arizona tries, still holding the dolls in the air with Alex.

"No, there's no time." Owen declines. "Let's just finish this practice, and try the flip again. Next."

Next up is Briar, since she's part of the ortho team working with neuro.

"Okay, we will access and separate the conjoined spinal canal." Derek narrates.

"Separate the bony elements of the spine." Callie continues.

"Briar Sinclair!" Bailey calls from the entrance, shocking Briar with the interruption. "I need to steal you."

"Uh, I'm busy." Briar declines, refusing to step away from her role lest she gets kicked out of the surgery.

"Fine. Meredith Grey, come with me." Bailey changes her plan, pulling Meredith from the room. Briar watches her go for a second before focusing back on the dolls, not willing to miss a single movement from the attendings she's working with.

Callie turns to her with a smile, watching as she finishes separating the spinal cord, working with Derek. "Do you feel confident enough to do this during the actual surgery?"

"Yes." Briar says instantly, even if her nerves peak at the thought. She's been practicing with every free second she has, and she knows she can do this. She just wasn't expecting to get the opportunity handed to her like this.

"Uh, I thought you were doing it." Arizona interrupts, looking at her wife in panic. Briar tries not to take the panic personally.

"Yeah, well, this is a teaching hospital and Sinclair knows what she's doing. We're not even on the same team." Callie points out, scoffing. "She just nailed the practice again, and I'll be there to step in if I need to, along with an entire team. It'll be fine."

"Sinclair has it." Derek says before Arizona can say anything else. "I am now prepared to separate them completely."

"Wait. Hold on. What about complications?" Arizona worries. "I mean, what if there's a double hemivertebra?"

"Then we do a posterior hemivertebrectomy." Briar answers instantly.

"What about a tethered cord?" She shoots back.

"I do a laminectomy, Derek opens up the thecal sac, and we use a laser to release the spinal cord from the scar tissue or fat." Briar answers as patiently as possible.

"Why use a laser?"

"It's more precise and less likely to cause bleeding."

"What about–?"

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it." Derek interrupts strongly, holding eye contact with Arizona.

"We're done here." Owen decides.

"I–I'm sorry. What if we're standing on that bridge right now?" Arizona frets.

"Dr. Sinclair just gave you respectable treatment plans. We know what we're doing." Derek says, his tone growing cold at the continued questioning.

"We haven't even separated them yet! We haven't gone through the post-separation surgeries. There's so much m–"

"Dr. Robbins, stop." Owen orders. "We're done practicing. We have practiced our parts not only here in this O.R., but in the shower, on your drive to work."

Briar didn't practice while driving–that's just asking for an accident to happen–but she has dreamed about the surgery more than once.

"We are ready. We know what to do. Now we just have to do it."

With that said, they all step back, watching as the dolls are wheeled out of the room and the O.R. is put back together and sterilized.

✦

When the babies are wheeled in, Briar feels her breath catch. Conjoined twins are such a rare sight, and it hits her once again how amazing her job is as she looks around the room at her fellow surgeons. Callie looks a second away from cooing at the screaming babies.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Andi and Brandi Edwards." Owen introduces them. "Let's give them new lives, shall we? It's showtime!"

Knox is the anesthesiologist, although Briar wishes it were Ben instead. She'll always prefer him: she can't help it.

Jackson and Mark are the first two to work, and Briar is fascinated from her spot behind Jackson. She can't look away.

"Raising the skin flap. Avery, are you there?" Mark asks from across the table.

"One step ahead of you." Jackson answers, and Briar grins to herself. This easy confidence that working in plastics gives him will never stop being attractive.

"You want to race?"

"No, no, no. No racing." Arizona says immediately.

"That was fun last night. Did you and Mer have a good time?" Mark asks Derek, glancing over his shoulder for a second. "I know Julia had a good time."

"Yeah, we did. You got enough length there for coverage?"

"Yeah, I'm dissecting from the base to the midline." Mark explains. "Did Mer say anything about Julia?"

"She liked her."

Briar wants to look over at Lexie, see how she's doing with all this girlfriend talk, but she can't pull her eyes away from Jackson. His hands are flying, but there's not a second where she doubts his abilities. He knows what he's doing and it is getting to her in a way that it really shouldn't be.

"Jackson, slow down." Arizona interrupts, but she's ignored.

"And Zola liked Julia, too?" Mark asks, and Briar can't help but grin. It's cute how eager he is to introduce his girlfriend to all of his friends and make sure that she's liked.

"Yes, she did. Everybody liked Julia." Derek answers, amused. "Anybody else here meet Julia? Did you like her? Show of hands if you liked her. Ah, you did? You did?"

Briar laughs when hands fly up across the room.

"I think I'll update the parents." Lexie scoffs, leaving the room.

"Briar, Jackson, we should have a double date." Mark decides. Briar bites her lip, part of her feeling obligated to turn it down on Lexie's behalf . . . but she's also Mark's friend, and she had promised them both that she wouldn't get involved in whatever they had going on.

"Sounds good. Jay, you in?" Briar asks, grinning when he nods. "Great! Let us know when she's free and we'll make it happen."

"Hunt, they're clearly racing. No racing!" Arizona snaps.

"We're not racing." Mark protests, despite clearly doing just that.

"We have been rehearsing this for months, and now they're gonna jeopardize the patient because–"

"Robbins, you take care of your team. I'll look at the bigger picture." Owen interrupts, sounding tired of her concerns.

"Done!" Jackson calls out, leaping to his feet with his arms up.

"I win!" Mark shouts a millisecond later, his hands flying up as well. "And by that, we mean ready for the colon resection."

Briar laughs at the two of them, fondness filling her. She truly loves her boys so much.

"Cafeteria?" Mark asks Jackson.

"Race you there!" And with that the two are off.

"General surgery teams, let's go." Owen calls over the laughter as the two plastic surgeons dart from the room.

✦

If Briar had any lingering doubts about orthopedics being her specialty, this surgery kills them. Briar's heart races during the surgery, but her hands never shake or falter. It's not the first time she's worked with both Derek and Callie, but she doesn't think she'll ever get over how well the three of them work together. There's a level of trust that is needed in such high-risk surgeries–trust that they'll each perform their roles to the best of their abilities and that they'll communicate with each other.

"Shepherd, what are you doing?" Arizona questions, and Briar fights back the urge to cry.

"He's repairing a myelomeningocele." Briar answers, genuinely tired of talking to the woman. She's been breathing down Briar's neck the entire procedure, making her explain every move she makes.

"Damn it." Derek sighs a minute later.

"What? What's wrong?" Arizona panics.

"Spinal dermoid cyst." Derek sighs. "It's all tangled up in the spinal root."

"Yeah, there's a lot of scarring in there." Callie adds from next to him. "I don't see a clean approach."

"Well, no, well, you have to take it out!" Arizona states the obvious. "Because the cyst could become malignant."

"Yes, we're aware. Thank you." Callie says, cutting a quick glance at her wife.

"Maybe if I can come in from an angle, like this, but then we risk the contents spilling out–" Derek proposes, angling his tool above her spine to show his plan.

"Which could cause a chemical meningitis." Arizona throws in, as if they aren't all aware of that risk and more.

"Dr. Robbins, we've got this." Callie says firmly. "Okay, what if we stretch the nerve root here?"

"Well, that might paralyze Brandi." Arizona interrupts before Derek or Briar could respond to Callie's suggestion.

"Yes, Brandi might end up paralyzed. Yeah, no one understands that better than we do, which is why we will be making the decision. Us, not you. Us. You alright with that?" Callie finally snaps.

"Just make sure–" Arizona starts, cut off by Callie clearing her throat pointedly. "I . . . yes, I'm okay with that."

She admits that last part quietly, looking embarrassed at the public call out.

"No more talking from anyone in this O.R." Derek orders sharply. "We need complete silence from now on."

A second later Briar gasps, tilting her head.

"What is it?" Derek asks her, looking over the top of his surgical loupes at her.

"What if we use a triggered electromyogram to distinguish which nerve root belongs to which twin?" She asks, nearly bouncing on her toes as the idea comes to life. The way Derek's face lights up is exhilarating.

"To find a safe cleavage plan." Derek says softly, muling her idea over before he nods. "Let's do it. Great idea, Dr. Sinclair."

Derek uses the tEMG on each nerve root to determine if they belong to Andi or Brandi, and then communicates that to Callie and Briar so that they know which ones belong to their respective babies. Callie and Briar then tag off each nerve root so that they, and Derek, don't make a mistake. It's fascinating to witness which electrodes fire and where they intertwine or branch off.

"And we're ready for the final cut." Derek announces, with BokHee handing him the proper instrument. Briar doesn't breathe the entire time he cuts, relief flooding her when Callie announces that the separation is complete. Clapping floods the room, which Derek instantly rejects. "No, no, no. Not yet, not yet. We still need to check on the motor function. Let's do . . . 2 milliamps of stimulation on Andi first, please."

The beeping fills the room, and Andi's leg quickly moves. Derek turns to Briar, gesturing for her to do the honors for her baby, and she clears her throat when it feels completely dry. She feels personally responsible for Brandi, and if she doesn't have motor function . . .

"Two milliamps of stimulation." She requests quietly, her heart dropping when the stimulation whines with no movement from Brandi. "Th–three milliamps, please."

More whining with no movement.

Briar reaches out and gently tickles her foot, hoping to stimulate any response from the baby. If she has to go out and tell those parents that she failed and one of their daughters is paralyzed, it might actually kill her.

"Come on, Brandi. Just give us some kind of movement." Callie begs, looking worried from her spot across from Briar. "Anything."

Briar is going to hear this beeping in her nightmares.

"Alright, let's go to 4 milliamps of stimulation." Derek orders when Briar doesn't. She honestly thinks she'll throw up if she opens her mouth. The whining fills the room, and Briar actually whimpers when Brandi's toes curl. "Hey, there you go."

While the clapping fills the room, Briar shares a look with Derek and Callie, all three of them desperately relieved.

"Great work, everyone. One step at a time." Owen says when the clapping starts to die down. "By the numbers, like we practiced. Let's move."

They roll in another stretcher, this one for Brandi, and they carefully transfer her onto it.

"We've still got a hell of a long way to go." Owen says to Derek and Callie, stepping out of the way when Briar leads the way out into the other O.R. "I'll be checking in on you both."

✦

The only thing on Briar's mind when she leaves the O.R. is food–up until she sees Jackson waiting for her, leaning against the opposite wall. He grins as soon as he sees her, and she pauses where she is, her surgical gown halfway over her head.

"Hey, you." He greets her warmly, meeting her where she stands and handing her a water bottle as soon as he's pulled the scrub cap from her head, tossing it into the bin. "You were amazing in there."

"Hey." She says back, grinning at him before she nearly cries at the sight of the cup of fruit he holds out to her. "Ooh, grapes!"

She plucks one out, closing her eyes at the burst of flavor, before tilting the cup Jackson's way, watching as he grabs a small piece of cantaloupe. They eat in silence for a minute, and Briar feels all of her stress fade away. The surgery went better than she could've hoped.

"Thank you, for this." Briar tells him, meaning it. She was seriously dreading braving the cafeteria line, and while this definitely didn't fill her up, it's a good post-surgery snack. "And for the compliment. Did you really stay and watch?"

"'Course I did, and you killed it. I thought you were going to actually fight Robbins at one point."

"Oh, I got close." Briar quips, because the doctor had genuinely driven her crazy. "How'd your date with Mark go?"

Jackson laughs at her joke, stealing the last grape and dodging the smack she sends his way. "Great, we figured out a good day for our double date, which he is super excited about. He said that we should go to some pottery place you love?"

"Ooh, yes!" Briar squeals, grinning. "That'll be perfect. Do me a favor and put whatever date it is on the calendar at home, that's literally the only way I remember anything."

He laughs at that, shaking his head at her as they start walking away from the surgical suite. They fall into an easy silence, and Briar can't help but sneak side glances at him, remembering how confident he'd been earlier, the way his hands never stopped moving, how he never once second guessed himself . . . is it really a surprise that she pulls him into an on-call room?

✦

"I get it now." Briar admits half an hour later, staring dazedly up at the ceiling of that very on-call room. Her heart is still racing as Jackson falls down to the bed next to her–at this rate, she's going to need her own cardiologist.

"Get what?" He pants out, before rubbing at his elbow, and Briar covers up her grin by twisting to hide her face in his shoulder. His hands automatically come up around her, one running through her hair and the other on her hip. The injury–if it can even be called that, since it's not going to do anything other than possibly bruise a bit–was technically caused by her. They didn't make it to the bed on their first try.

"The whole, on call sex thing." She says, finally answering his question, and swatting at his side when she can feel the smugness wafting off of him. "Not that this is going to become a thing. I'm serious!"

"Uh huh." He says, giggling with the words. "Briar, we both have competency kinks, as you love to remind me constantly. How many times do we operate together?"

"Yeah, well, I'm not getting a reputation for this." Briar tells him, shuddering at the thought. No shame in having–or not having–a sex life, but she does not want to be known as the surgeon always rushing to an on-call room. That's not professional at all.

"Fine." Jackson drags the word out, pouting, but there's a glint in his eyes that betrays him not believing her. Briar doesn't fully believe herself. A smirk is all the notice she gets before he's deftly flipping them so that he's on top of her again, a beautiful smile forming on his face at the surprised yelp she lets out at the movement, gaping up at him. "One last time?"

"One last time." She gives in, already knowing that they'll be doing this again.

✦

Briar feels like the fact that she's just had sex is written all over her face, but apparently no one can tell. Everyone around them goes about their lives like normal, while she silently wonders how she went so long dating Jackson without having sex with him. She'd forgotten how fun it could be, and it was a thousand times better with him than it ever was with Kelly–no insult to him, but there's a level of trust she feels with Jackson that she's never experienced before.

She fully understands the concept of walking on Cloud 9 now.

Her day only gets better with the look on Gretchen and Charley's faces when they roll the twins into the same room. The complete awe and love on their faces is everything.

"Is this a private party or can anybody join in?" Owen jokes, and Briar laughs from her spot on the other side of the crib, helping wheel it in. "Brandi . . . meet Andi. She's the one who's been kicking you in the ass your whole life."

"Can we, um . . . is it okay if we touch 'em?" Charley chokes out, watching as the girls look at each other.

"Of course you can." Arizona assures them both just as the babies both start crying.

"Charley, look at them." Gretchen sobs, one hand coming up to cradle her boyfriend's face, unable to tear her eyes away from her babies.

"They're beautiful." Charley cries, and Briar can't resist moving to be next to Jackson, slipping her hand in his. She can see the same joy and inspiration she's feeling in his expression, and she doesn't think she's ever been happier in her life.

✦

Briar can truly say that Meredith is one of her favorite people in the world.

Their friendship is one of the most important things to Briar, and it has been since Meredith took a chance on her and let her move in during their intern year. That love has only grown in the years since. Meredith is an amazing friend, surgeon, mom–she can do just about everything.

She just can't cook.

"Are you sure you're okay with cooking for tonight? I can always steal something from the hospital or try to leave early." Meredith asks from where she's decorating Zola's birthday cake.

"I mean, if you want to steal some of Teddy's Widow Casserole, I'm sure she'd appreciate it." Briar jokes. No one knows how to properly respond to Henry dying, especially when Teddy had been in denial over it for the first two weeks, and everyone had fallen into the casserole trap. Every time Teddy walks into the hospital, people give her lasagna and other casseroles. Briar has already received a few frustrated texts about it, having the most pull with the nurses. She's not sure how well they're going to listen to her 'thanks but no thanks' text about it.

Briar had technically given Teddy food. She'd shown up to their house on the third day with bags of groceries, along with Teddy's favorite take out food and brand of wine. They'd ended up getting wine drunk and playing a very heated game of Monopoly that ended with both of them crying over Henry. Still, though, Briar thinks that's better than shoving a casserole at the woman and running away.

"Very festive. Zo Zo, do you want Widow Casserole for your birthday?" Meredith asks her daughter, who Briar is holding in her arms. She's supposed to be in her high chair, but Briar can't resist early morning baby cuddles.

"I want Widow Casserole. Taylor in OB makes amazing lasagna." Briar tells Meredith, laughing as she dodges the hit Meredith sends her way. "Z wants Auntie Bry's mashed potatoes, don't you? Don't you?"

She lifts Zola in the air at the questions, spinning around before bringing her back down and tickling her stomach, delighting at the shrieks of laughter she receives.

"Awe." A woman coos, and Briar raises an eyebrow as she makes her way into the kitchen. She's wearing jeans and a tank-top, and looking perfectly comfortable in a house she doesn't know her way around.

"Coffee's over there, mugs are in that cupboard." Briar tells her, pointing to the cupboard. "If you don't like coffee, there's water and juice in the fridge. Help yourself."

"Who doesn't like coffee?" She asks, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

"I don't." Briar says pointedly, rolling her eyes before getting distracted by Jackson joining them. He moves directly to them, smoothing a hand over Zola's hair and giving Briar a kiss that she smiles into. He tastes like toothpaste.

"Good morning." She greets him, before passing Zola over to him, watching as he pours himself a mug of coffee before carrying her straight to the dining room table. The sight of them sends a surge of longing through her, and she quickly turns away, ignoring the knowing look on Meredith's face.

"Does anyone want banana pancakes?" She asks the room, already gathering the cinnamon and flour before turning around to see who wants some.

"Na na na," Zola gurgles out, clapping her hands from her spot in Jackson's lap.

"Nanana! Yes!" Briar cheers, laughing with Meredith as she holds up the fruit for Zola to see, knowing that they'll probably use that term for it for the rest of their lives. She's too cute.

"Oh, damn it." Meredith sighs, frowning down at her tub of frosting. "I screwed it up."

"'Gag Zola,' really?" Jackson asks, grimacing at the cake. Briar laughs from where she's whisking away, waiting for the pan to heat up. The benefit of living with a 1 year old is that there's all kinds of mashed and pureed foods waiting to be used, and she doesn't have to waste time mashing bananas.

"Those aren't g's! Those are y's for 'yay.'" Meredith explains indignantly. "Yay Zola!"

"See, a normal person would've just written happy birthday." Jackson tells her, laughing when she straightens up to glare at him.

"Well, I couldn't fit all those letters on the cake." Meredith sighs. Briar fights back the urge to tell her about all her other options–happy bday for one, or even just drawing a 1 on the cake.

"Okay, who used up the last of my deodorant?" April complains, coming around the corner in her pink plaid robe and brandishing an empty tube at them.

"Oh, that might have been me." Alex's hookup confesses, and Briar grimaces at both the thought and the look on April's face. "Sorry. Kinda had a workout last night."

"Not mine." Jackson whispers when April turns to him, silently asking who she is. He points at Briar a second later, who grins at them from where she's dancing along to The Beautiful Ones by Prince. She has an early morning playlist of household favorites that they play every single morning, and she has the volume just low enough to not bother anyone while still loud enough to dance to. "That one's mine."

"Coffee." Alex groans, gravitating straight to the empty pot. Briar watches him, remembering when coffee used to be the first thing she went for every morning, before . . . well, the smell of it still turns her stomach.

"Fresh out, Chief." Jackson tells him, lifting up his mug.

"What? N–no. That's impossible. I just bought some three days ago!" April protests, while Briar flips her third round of pancakes. Boring, circle pancakes.

"What do we think, Zo? Smiley faces or hearts?" She asks, nodding very seriously at her when she claps her hands and babbles out a sentence of Babynese. "I agree! Both it is."

"You're out of O.J, too." The stranger tells them, leaning over the counter and watching as Briar carefully forms three heart shaped pancakes on the griddle. "Woah, that's really cool."

"Thanks." Briar says, grinning at her. "I get a lot of practice in, between that cutie and my goddaughter. What's your favorite thing?"

"Butterflies." She says instantly, laughing when Briar flips the hearts over and starts making a butterfly, biting her lip as she positions the spoon over the griddle to make the wings. "Shit, I should've slept with you instead."

"I'm right here." Alex grouses, although he looks amused when Briar glances at him, an identical grin stretched on both of their faces.

"I'm just better than you, let's face it." Briar teases, flipping the hearts onto the plate of ready made pancakes. A minute later she slides a plate with a butterfly, heart and a smiley face pancake across the counter to her, laughing when she instantly attacks them with maple syrup. "I don't see you making her breakfast."

"I didn't expect her to still be here." Alex shoots back.

"Oh, yeah, I was on my way out and then I saw these cheeks!" She coos, moving as if to touch Zola, who's been put in her high chair. "So cute!"

"Oh!" Meredith jumps, grabbing Zola out of the high chair before she can touch her. "We don't touch the baby, because we don't know where those hands have been."

Briar grins to herself, watching the woman take offense for a second before going back to eating her pancakes.

"Alex does." April laughs, moving further into the room until she's next to Briar, flipping one of the pancakes before it can burn while Briar is distracted.

"Thanks." She says softly, nudging her and pointing to the plate. "Here, help yourself. Oh, and I have deodorant in my work bag you can borrow."

"Okay, so, um, I have a meeting with Owen, so I'm off. Party is at 8. Don't be late!" Meredith tells them, backing away.

"Mer!" Briar calls out, laughing.

"Huh?"

"I think you're forgetting something." She says lightly, nodding to where she's cradling Zola in her arms. "I'm babysitting today, remember?"

"Oh! Right! Well, uh, happy birthday baby. I'll see you later." Meredith says softly, kissing her daughter before slowly handing her to Briar, who instantly steps away from the griddle, trusting April to handle the last of the pancakes.

"I got 20 minutes before work. You wanna, you know?" Alex asks the still unnamed woman, and Briar laughs when they immediately leave the room.

"Round two." Jackson jokes, grabbing a few of the pancakes when Briar brings the plate over to the table, settling Zola back into her high chair and getting her a plate of her own. She has cute little baby forks, and Briar is quick to grab a purple one and start cutting her food into tiny little bites.

"Oh, we need to move." April sighs, slowly sinking down into the seat next to Jackson after she shuts off the griddle.

Briar just shakes her head, making airplane noises as she feeds Zola, loving every second of it. Sofia and Zola make her wish she was ready for a kid, but she knows she isn't. Being Auntie Bry is a blast, and it's more than enough for her.

"Do we?" Jackson asks, making another plate, and Briar blushes when he cuts into one of the star pancakes and feeds it to her before taking a bite of his own. "I don't know, I'm pretty happy here."

Briar is so in love that it's ridiculous.

✦

Briar has a baby on each arm and a spring in her step.

She can't believe she gets to go to two parties in one day–it's not only Zola's first birthday, but the day of Richard's 10,000th surgery. There's a party at the hospital, which is where she's currently taking Sofia and Zola, narrating everything to them as they go.

"Uh, what's happening?" She asks when she enters the conference room to find April removing the congratulations banner she'd helped Bailey pick out. "There's no way that I am late to this. Shit, was I late?"

"No, just–Dr. Webber asked to cancel the party." April tells her, sighing as she sets the banner on the table. "His wife is here, and she isn't doing great. Her neighbor found her walking to the hospital."

Briar sighs, sadness filling her at the thought of Adele's Alzheimer's progressing. She can't imagine how scary having that disease must be. Her depressing thoughts are cut off by Zola poking at her cheek while Sofia stuffs a handful of Briar's hair in her mouth.

"Alright, girls. Who wants ice cream?" She cheers, sending Alex a thankful look when he gently pulls her hair away from Sofia. He helps her out even more by grabbing Zola with the hand that isn't holding a plate of red velvet cake, talking to her as he walks around the room.

"Guess it's just us, kid." Briar says, hefting Sofia further up her hip and grabbing a seat at the table. She gets them a shared plate, scooping vanilla ice cream and a slice of cake onto it.

"Karev, why aren't you still in McQueen's surgery?" Owen questions as he enters the room while Briar is stealing a handful of pretzels from the tray in front of her.

"Oh, uh, Altman and, uh, Yang took that." He answers absently, sitting next to Briar with Zola in his lap.

"What?" Owen questions, sounding scandalized, and Alex slowly looks up with his fork halfway to his mouth. Owen looks angry when he slowly backs out of the room, with Alex calling after him.

"I could be wrong!"

"Details, right now." Briar demands, twisting around to face him and watching as Zola and Sofia start playing with each other in the way babies do when they're too young to actually play—a lot of touching and babbling. "What did Cristina do now?"

"Okay, so . . ."

✦

If Briar never touches another balloon, she'll be thrilled. The house looks amazing though, everyone's combined efforts paying off. There's purple, pink and white balloons in every corner, streamers hanging from the ceiling, and pictures of Zola scattered around. Meredith went above and beyond after working all day, and Briar is so happy to watch her be such a loving mother.

Derek finds her in the kitchen, plating another tray of assorted sandwiches. She went a bit overboard with cooking: she has a pot roast behind her, along with sausage and meatballs, and a pot of mashed potatoes. That's not getting into the Widow Casseroles that Meredith brought home with her. Then there's the trays–sandwiches, fruits, salad, and chips.

Briar was excited, okay?

"Thank you for all of this." He tells her, pulling her into a quick hug before stealing one of the sandwiches. "It really . . . it means a lot. To Meredith, and to me."

"I love you guys. I'll gladly throw a party to celebrate you guys, and especially Zola, any chance I get. Also, there's a smash cake in the freezer. I don't know if you want to do that privately or while everyone's here, but it's there for whatever you decide." Briar tells him, brushing away the gratitude. "Speaking of, where is the birthday girl?"

"She just woke up. Meredith is getting her dressed, but I wanted to come check on you." He tells her, and Briar smiles at him. He's so sweet, and she doesn't spend nearly enough time with him as she should.

"I'm good, I promise." She says genuinely, because she is. She's surrounded by most of her favorite people, all gathered to celebrate a special little girl.

"Don't hide away in here all night." He tells her, pointing at her as he backs away. "I want to celebrate with you."

"Derek." Briar can't help but call him back, suddenly overcome with fondness. She truly loves him–she didn't think she would, when he first started seeing Meredith. She'd hated their relationship at the beginning, constantly pointing out the power imbalance, but now she adores them together. "You're . . . you're like a brother to me, and I just want you to know that I'm really happy for you."

The smile on Derek's face is worth the mild embarrassment her words cause her.

"You're my little sister, so I would hope the feeling is mutual." He teases lightly, stepping forward and pulling her into another hug before pulling her out into the living room. "Come on, let's go find your niece."

✦

"Congratulations!" Briar cheers as soon as she spots Richard, following him into the kitchen. He turns and gives her a smile, looking abashedly pleased as he leans against the kitchen island. "10,000 surgeries and you're still at the top of your game."

"Oh, I don't know about all that." He waves her words away, watching as she pours them both a cup of homemade punch, sliding one of the red solo cups across to him. "Thanks, Briar."

"Any time. And, ask anyone here, you're an inspiration to us all." She says honestly, smiling when he starts eyeing the crockpot roast again–she'd been proud to see him go for seconds. "You know, why don't you take that crock pot home with you? I know Adele really liked it when I made it for Christmas."

"Oh, only if you don't mind." He starts, grinning when she instantly nods. "I'm sure she'll be happy to have some."

"How's she doing?" Briar asks softly, taking a sip of her punch and hoping she isn't overstepping.

"She's . . . doing better." Richard says with a long sigh, looking tired now. "She's with her night nurse, and was sleeping when I left. She remembered Zola's party and everything. It was just a bad day before that."

"Could I come visit her, one of these days?" Briar asks, biting her lip. "It's just . . . she's always been so kind to me. I'd like to try and repay that."

"You have nothing to repay." Richard assures her, although there's a lighter look to him now. He doesn't look as weighted down. "I think we would both like it if you came over for dinner one of these nights. She always did like you."

"The feeling is very much mutual." Briar laughs. "We'll make it happen. I'll stop badgering you for now though. Congratulations again!"

She slips out of the room, going straight to Alex, who will always be the first person she looks for in a crowd. April corners them together, rambling about an apartment she found that needs a security deposit.

"I'm sorry, when did I say anything about moving?" Briar asks when she's done, shaking her head.

"You didn't, but I just figured that since there's a baby in the house now and—"

"Look, I already talked to Derek and Mer." Briar cuts her off, not wanting to entertain the subject. "I talked to them as soon as Zola came home, and they don't want me to move. Honestly, I don't even want to think about moving for a few years at least. So, have fun if you're moving, but leave me out of it."

She has a blast after that, going from person to person and mingling. She stops to see Sofia for a little while, talking with Julia and Mark as she holds her goddaughter, always eager to spend any time she can with her. Despite a majority of the guests being people she sees every day at the hospital, it's nice to hang out with everyone in a more lighthearted environment.

"You doing okay, Lex?" Briar checks in, sitting next to her on the couch. Lexie has been nursing a bottle of beer for at least an hour, and she doesn't protest when Briar hands her a cup of punch. She just taps it to Briar's in a silent 'cheers' and starts drinking it.

"Bad day at work." Lexie sighs, before shaking her head. "I can't really be upset at our niece's birthday party, though."

Briar grins to herself, thrilled that she said 'our' instead of 'my niece.' She loves Lexie so much, and getting counted as part of her family–as her sister–is the best feeling ever.

"Hmm, we should hang out soon. Properly, I mean." Briar decides, pulling her into a side hug. "We should go out. We can do whatever you want."

"Yeah?" Lexie asks, perking up.

"Of course. I feel like I've barely seen you, since I pretty much live in textbooks now." Briar sighs, shaking her head. "I'm sorry for that. I feel like I haven't been the best friend lately."

"No, you're always an amazing friend." Lexie immediately protests, shaking her head. Briar frowns at that, knowing for a fact that it isn't true, but she doesn't say anything. She doesn't want to sound like she's fishing for compliments. "And I get it. You need to pass your boards, and there's double the pressure on you. I can help you study, if you want."

"Uh, getting help from Lexipedia? Of course I want that." Briar teases, giving her a grateful smile before frowning when Lexie looks panicked. "Woah, what's wrong?"

"I'm going to be all alone when I take my boards." She groans, sliding down in her seat and covering her face with her hands. "All my friends are older than me, which is great, but you're all taking them a year before me!"

"Hey, no, you won't be alone." Briar rushes to assure her, pulling her hands away and revealing her face, wide hazel eyes staring up at her. "I'll go with you!"

"What?" She breathes out, but Briar nods furiously, suddenly determined.

"Come on, it'll be perfect. You help me study now so that I hopefully pass both boards, and I can return the favor for you next year. We can make a whole weekend of it, and I can give you any tips I have since I'll have already been through it." Briar explains, watching Lexie's eyes light up. "And then we can celebrate together when you pass and we're both attendings!"

"What if you move to a different hospital by then?" Lexie asks her, although she's already sitting straight up again and not looking as upset. Briar bites her lip, shrugging and trying to ignore the sudden panic that comes with all this talk about the future.

"You know me, I hate change." Briar jokes weakly, reaching out and grabbing her hand. "Even if I go somewhere else, I'll just take a weekend off and join you, no matter what."

"You mean it?" Lexie whispers.

"Yeah, I'll always make time for you." Briar promises, hoping that it gets through to her. She means every word. Lexie beams at her, and Briar can't resist leaning in and gently brushing her hair off of her forehead. "Remind me to cut your bangs again, will you?"

"Is there room over here for two more?" Bailey asks, sitting down next to Briar, with Richard following right after as soon as Lexie and Briar scoot over, sharing the same cushion now.

"For you two? Always." Briar says with a wink. "I love your shirt!"

"Oh, thank you. It was the only pink shirt I could find in my closet." Bailey says, and Briar laughs. "Oh! Look, here comes the cake."

They all turn to watch Meredith and Derek walk into the room, Derek holding Zola while Meredith holds the cake. They make a beeline straight for Richard.

"Happy 10,000th, Dr. Webber." Meredith tells him warmly, one hand in front of the candle so that the flame doesn't go out. She slowly lowers the cake, showing that she removed the 'Zola' in the icing so that it only reads 'yay.'

"For me? No." Richard shakes his head, surprised at the sudden attention. Bailey's mouth is open in shock, while Briar and Lexie share a pleased look.

"Come on. It's–it's not everyday you get to celebrate ten thousand surgeries." Derek compliments him, all of them watching a small smile light up Richard's face before he blows out the candle. The whole room claps, and Briar meets Jackson's eyes when he cheers loudly, smiling automatically when she sees him smiling next to Alex and April.

People start mingling, congratulating Richard and talking to each other while Derek and Meredith start cutting the cake, handing Zola off to her godmother.

"You know what Auntie Cristina did today?" Cristina asks Zola, the baby sitting in her lap while Cristina plays with her and her toys. "I operated on a heart this bi–actually, no. That's not–this big! This big." She holds up a teddy bear with a pink tutu and a red scarf, still talking in the high pitched tone people adopt around babies. "It was as big as a bear!"

"Hey, can you–?" Cristina asks a second later, her smile faltering as she lifts Zola and dumps her in Lexie's lap. "Thanks!"

They all watch as she follows Owen out of the room from where he's just arrived, and Briar can only hope that they actually communicate properly this time. Cristina has every right to be upset with him for the whole Teddy and Henry thing, and Owen has every right to be upset that she went behind his back to perform a surgery today.

"Hey, um, do you remember your first surgery?" Bailey asks Richard, with people gathering around to listen.

"Well, sure, sure. I was a third-year resident. Third year's could take the lead on surgeries." He starts to explain. Briar listens while handing Lexie a napkin so that she can wipe Zola's face that is covered in icing.

"This isn't about me!" Cristina's voice echoes out from the kitchen, and Briar is relieved when Richard continues talking, hopefully distracting everyone from the fight happening in the other room.

"It is! It's about how you constantly ignore me!" Owen shouts back.

"A gallbladder." Richard tells them, and Briar smiles at him. It's hard to picture Richard being new to surgery, but it's nice to consider that everyone has to start somewhere.

"Constantly! You do what works for you. You don't care who you crush in the process or who gets hurt!" Owen shouts, and Briar winces. She's relieved when she sees Meredith duck out of the room, going to intervene.

"It was one surgery!"

"So, gallbladder!" Briar exclaims, hoping that Richard will pick up where he left off. "How did that surgery go?"

"Oh, well, I–"

"It was not one surgery! Do you hear me? This was every choice we've made in the last–it was–it was a life I envisioned for myself, okay? This is not one surgery!" Owen's words make Briar freeze, sharing a worried look with Derek. Owen can't possibly be referring to the abortion, can he?

"It was a horrible situation, but it's over!" Cristina calls back a minute later, her voice breaking. "Is it too much to ask that we just try and forget it?"

"You killed our baby! You don't ever forget that!"

The bellowed words freeze the entire room.

✦

authors note

Owen hunt they could never make me like you

seriously Owen and Cristina's relationship is such a nightmare. I just want to reach through the screen and yank her out of it. She always did better being by herself! I hate Owen in every relationship he's in, but I do think he's a good mentor/friend. as someone who doesn't want kids, watching these plots is such a shot to the heart. Cristina yang, I love you and you deserve better <3

ZOLAAAAA she's so baby!!! with her pink dress and her bow!!! cutie ugh love her so much

writing ahead means that my updates are gonna be random & hopefully more often <3 it's so much fun too. i finished the "what if" chapter and that was SO much fun to write. i'm kinda curious if anyone has any predictions for it

the way that we don't get to see Jackson, april and alex as their own roommates... we were robbed!! briar said fuck no to moving out and i would do the same. why go from a crowded house to a crowded apartment?? no thanks

i'm not sure if i want to have them move out in this... thoughts??

thank you for all the love and comments, as always it means so much to me <3