"Uh, reaction, observation, communication–any questions so far?" Dr. Bailey asks the group of residents she has inside a learning lab. Almost every hand in the room shoots up, all with the same question, and Dr. Bailey sighs before anyone can ask.

"We are doing this because Chief Shepherd suggests we brush up on our patient sensitivity skills." Dr. Bailey tells them. Briar can't argue against that: honestly, her class of residents could all use a reminder. "Dr. Sinclair, am I boring you?"

Briar's eyes widen, looking up from where she's been boredly examining a model uterus.

"You never bore me, Dr. Bailey. You fascinate me." She says with a smirk, watching her attending roll her eyes at her. She does set down the model, not wanting to die on that hill.

"It just so happens, this morning was a very good time to review this. Besides, half of you were raised by wolves." Dr. Bailey turns to the whiteboard behind her, and starts writing as she talks. "Reaction. Keep your face impassive, whether prompted by a patient's appearance or lab results, facial expressions of surprise, concern, disgust, etcetera can be counterproductive."

Briar's hand shoots in the air, making Dr. Bailey sigh as she nods for her to speak.

"Okay, but patient's don't like it when we're impassive. It scares them."

"Then smile, Dr. Sinclair. I know your name means thorny bush, and you certainly love acting like one, but I am sure you know how to smile." Dr. Bailey's dry comment makes everyone, including Briar, laugh. Briar isn't done, though.

"Okay, but, what if you're like Alex and your fake smile makes you look psychopathic?" Briar points out, smirking when Alex protests while everyone laughs. She mimics his fake smile, pretending to be him speaking to a patient. "Like: I'm so sorry, Mrs. Smith, your condition is terminal. She would cry, and not out of shock of her death sentence, but because I am wearing my Scary Alex Smile."

"That is not a thing!" Alex cries out, but shuts up when Briar, Cristina and Meredith all turn to look at him.

"It's a thing."

"That brings me to my next point." Dr. Bailey says over everyone's laughter, although Briar catches her lips twitching. "Jokes. Don't make jokes about patients, not in front of them, not even in private."

"Well. . ." Cristina starts to protest, making Dr. Bailey turn to her.

"Yang?"

"What if the joke is really funny?"

"It's not. Neither was that one. Moving on. Observation." She says, grimacing when her pager beeps, before rushing through the rest. "Okay. Use reflective listening, repeat the patient's feelings back to them. Um, 'I hear that you're concerned about the surgery. Let me explain the risks."

"I can see you like vegetables," Alex says in a deeper voice, "After surgery, you might become one."

Their group laughs, Briar continuing even when Dr. Bailey turns to them with annoyance. She reaches past Meredith to give Alex a high five, always a fan of his witty comments.

"Communication." Dr. Bailey says, not reprimanding Alex for his comment. "Uh, don't use jargon. Use language that the patient can understand. Be creative in using metaphors."

"Oh, I'm terrible with metaphors." Percy complains. "I can never come up with 'em."

"Why? 'Cause you're dumb as a box of hammers?" Cristina asks, making Briar frown while others laugh.

"That was a simile." Briar points out, shrugging at the dirty look Cristina gives her. "What? It was."

"Be clear and comprehensive," Dr. Bailey pushes on, rushing through reading the paper in front of her. "Explain all risks and all possible outcomes, leaving nothing out. Questions–Adamson?"

"Why are you going so fast?" Reed questions.

"It just so happens that we have an emergent patient arriving who will need a little extra sensitivity. So remember to employ your R-O-C," She instructs, underlining the first letters of reaction, observation, and communication. "And . . . you will–hmm– ROCK your patient's world." She finishes, ignoring the way they all groan at the corny joke. "Okay, that's enough of that, follow me to the pit."

Briar is the first one out the door, shoving past the others. She desperately needs to get her hands dirty.

✦

"Did you get Izzie's message?" Meredith murmurs to Alex while they all wait for the patient to arrive, crowding around outside. "Did you sign the divorce papers?"

"Yeah, I gotta find 'em, and then I'll send 'em." Alex says. Briar bites back a sigh, knowing this is hard for him. It doesn't help that Izzie keeps nagging Meredith about it, wanting it done quickly.

"Izzie sent you divorce papers?" Lexie questions from behind them.

"Yeah, so?" Alex asks her. Briar stares straight ahead, listening to siren's coming closer. "Nothing. Just–congratulations. Or. . . something. Excuse me."

The three of them watch as she shoves past them, going to the other side of the group. Briar doesn't add her input when Meredith and Alex start arguing over whether Lexie cares about Alex. She's made it a point to try and stay away from Lexie's nonstop relationship drama. There aren't enough hours in the day to worry about it.

"Alright, people, remember what you've been taught." Dr. Bailey tells them, turning to face them. Behind her, an ambulance pulls into the bay, followed by a large truck, police cars, and a firetruck. "Use it throughout the day. There will be consequences if you don't."

"What the hell is it?" Alex mumbles, all of them craning their necks to try and see.

"What, did the circus come to town?" Pixie Cut asks, all of them watching as the fire company starts jogging over to the truck instead of the ambulance. The reason for that becomes clear when the truck bed is revealed, two paramedics working on the patient inside of it, who looks to be in his own bed. Briar is assuming it's his, at least, judging by the bed frame.

"No. Just the elephant." Jackson says, making Dr. Bailey's head whip around.

"Avery, you're off the case. Go." She orders him.

"Oh. . . damn it." He sighs, realizing what he did by making that comment.

"Consequences." Dr. Bailey warns them all, as the patient speaks up.

"We're gonna need a bigger hospital." He jokes, making Briar laugh. It fades when she sees the look Dr. Bailey gives her, groaning as she turns and leaves the scene. He makes a comment about it being a tough crowd, only making her more frustrated about not being on his case.

"Jackson! Hey, wait up!" She shouts, jogging to catch up to her friend, who looks surprised to see her.

"Really? You got kicked off the case?" He asks, sounding shocked. Briar nods as they go to try and find an attending to shadow for the day, since Dr. Bailey, Owen, and Dr. Webber are preoccupied with the case they got kicked from.

"He made a joke and I laughed." She complains, scowling about it, and he just shakes his head.

"What was the joke?"

"Oh, um, 'we're gonna need a bigger hospital.'" She quotes him, giggling about it again. She's a fan of his kind of humor.

"I would've laughed too." He commiserates with her, getting a smile in return, before they both see Teddy up ahead.

"Yeah, I don't know, I think it's worse for the patient if we don't react to them, especially if they're comfortable enough to joke with us. It makes it awkward." She explains her thought process to him while they rush to catch up to Teddy.

"Dr. Altman!" Jackson shouts, finally reaching her. "Do you need any help today?"

"Also, do you know where Arizona is? Or Callie? Or Mark?" Briar lists off, hoping to end up on one of their services.

"Dibs!" Cristina shouts, joining them, clearly removed from the case as well. Not shocking at all.

"Aren't you all on Webber's big emergent patient?" Teddy asks, all three of them following her around the corner.

"He got kicked for making a joke." Cristina says instantly.

"She got kicked off, too." Jackson defends.

"Yeah, for not making a joke." Cristina scoffs, making Briar raise her eyebrows as she laughs, both of them turning on her next.

"And she got kicked off for laughing."

"I don't even want on her service!" Briar protests, glaring at both of them. "No offense, Dr. Altman."

"None taken. About your earlier question, check the attendings lounge."

"Thank you!" She shouts, rushing away from them. She finds Callie in there, nursing a cup of coffee, and beams as she walks inside.

"Callie, hi, remember all those times I did you a favor? Yeah? Please, please put me on your service today." Briar begs, making the woman light up.

"Yes! Oh, I've been waiting for this day. I knew you would come around to ortho." Callie squeals, making Briar feel a little guilty since she still hasn't decided on a specialty. There are just so many to choose from! "Alright, best day ever. Come on, we have a case already."

"Jamie Anders? Hi." Callie greets their patient as soon as they've entered her room. Briar smiles at her, getting one back despite the obvious pain and shock the girl is in. "Dr. Torres. This is Dr. Sinclair."

"Ooh, wow. What the hell did you do to your knee?" Callie asks her, grabbing gloves as she sits down in a rolling stool. Briar grabs her own pair of gloves, although she remains standing next to Callie.

"Some jackass mowed me down on my bike and then took off." She explains, looking exasperated.

"I've been there." Briar tells her, twisting her right arm so she can see the long, clear scar on the back of it. "It's really not very fun. While Callie takes a look at that, can I clean up your road rash?"

Briar nods to the abrasions on her arms and right cheek. She waits until Jamie nods before she grabs all the supplies, getting to work while she keeps an eye on everything Callie does.

"This is probably gonna hurt a little, but I need to get in there and see what's going on." Callie explains to Jamie, who nods her head in acceptance.

"Go for it." Jamie says, only to instantly react when Callie applies the lightest pressure, leaning forward in pain. "Ow, ow! No, no, no, don't go for it!"

"Sorry, you okay?" Callie asks, while Briar patiently waits for the pain to recede before cleaning up her arms.

"Wow. This really blows." Jamie says with a sigh. Briar can sympathize with that.

"Yeah, that's one messed up patella." Callie agrees, making Briar look down for a closer look, wincing at the sight.

"Plus, I'm out 20 bucks." Jamie tells them, making Briar look at her in confusion. "My friend said there's always an upside to an injury, and I said she was on crack. And she said, 'watch. The doctor will be hot.' I said, 'the doctor will be old. And gnarly.' Both of you are hot, neither of you are old or gnarly. So I'm out 20 bucks."

The explanation makes both of them laugh.

"I want that put on my grave: not old or gnarly, but hot. It's got a ring to it." Briar muses, winking at Callie when the two of them look at her with raised eyebrows. "Ca–Dr. Torres, it's your job to make sure that gets put on it."

"What if you are old and gnarly?" She asks, chuckling, while Briar shakes her head.

"That's totally not happening. Come on, shake on it." She says, grinning when Callie tilts her head and considers it.

"What if I die first? Ooh, we could have matching gravestones. I'm in." She says, the two of them shaking hands with matching smirks while Jamie laughs in the background.

✦

"You are interested in ortho, right? This isn't just 'cause you got kicked off the other case?" Callie asks her while they wait for Percy and Lexie to get to Jamie's room, the two of them having also joined her service.

"I am." Briar says honestly, because she has been considering this specialty more often lately. She hasn't made a decision about what she wants to do, and it's stressing her out, but orthopedic surgery is calling out to her. "I chose you over Teddy this morning because I want to see if I'm a match for it."

"Great." Callie says, sounding relieved and sending her a radiant smile. Percy and Lexie join them a moment later, but Callie is still focused on Briar. "I want you to take the lead in there. I'll observe and jump in if I have to, but you're running solo."

Briar's eyes widen in shock before she feels herself grinning. It only grows wider when she hears Percy complain about it, shutting up when Callie turns to glare at him. Lexie looks proud of her when she looks at her friend, giving her a thumbs up. Briar can't wipe the smile from her face as they enter the patient's room a few minutes later.

"Hi, Jamie." Briar greets the woman with a nod, before introducing her colleagues. "This is Dr. Grey, and that is Dr. Percy. Your x-ray results show that we need to open up your knee in order to wire all of the pieces of your patella back together." She explains, pausing to allow her to ask any questions or voice any concerns.

"Are you doing the operation?" She questions.

"Well, Dr. Torres will be operating. I'll be assisting–" She starts, before Callie interrupts her.

"Actually, Dr. Sinclair will be operating while I assist." She tells Jamie, making Briar freeze in place.

"Really?" She whispers, seeing Lexie smiling at her out of the corner of her eye. Percy looks as if he wants to punch something, which only makes Briar more excited about this opportunity.

"Really. I am confident in Dr. Sinclair's abilities, and I will be right behind her incase I need to assist." Callie assures Jamie, who nods, not looking away from her eyes. Briar bites down a smirk; she gets it, Callie is gorgeous.

"That frees you up to hold my hand, right?" Jamie asks, making Callie's eyes widen in shock before she slowly nods.

"Uh–uh, yeah, sure. If that makes you more comfortable." Callie tells her, avoiding eye contact with the other doctors in the room as she starts holding her hand. Briar is honestly impressed by Jamie shooting her shot, even in a hospital bed.

"Wow. Should we have left you two alone?" Percy asks Callie as soon as they leave the room a few minutes later.

"What?" She asks, turning to face the three of them. Briar doesn't say anything: she has faith that Callie would never cheat on Arizona, and there's no chance she's upsetting her when she has a solo surgery on her hands.

"Getting a little steamy in there." Percy explains his question, making Lexie laugh.

"Oh, give me a break. I'm in a committed relationship." Callie says with a chuckle. "That was chitchat."

"There was steam." Lexie tells her. "It was steamy chitchat."

"With hand-holding." Percy teases, sharing a loaded look with Lexie.

"Yeah, physical contact's an important part of establishing a patient's trust." Callie explains, before narrowing her eyes. "Bailey did patient sensitivity this morning. Did she teach you nothing?"

Bailey told us to be impassive, actually, Briar thinks but purposely avoids joining in on the conversation. Instead, she works on updating Jamie's chart, beaming when she adds her name to the top of the surgery list.

"So there was no flirting going on. I was just imagining that." Percy says while Briar wonders why no one ever taught him how to let a subject go.

"Yeah, sure, she was kinda flirty and I was flirty back because I'm trying to put her at ease." Callie states firmly. Briar refuses to look up from the chart now, knowing she'll lose the battle against laughter if she sees Lexie's face. "Talking to the patient the way the patient talks to you makes 'em feel understood and and safe and . . . you're morons. You know who does understand patient care? Briar. Which is why she's taking the reins on the surgery while you stand and watch."

They watch Callie walk away, Percy's jaw hanging so low it's almost on the floor. Briar waits until she's gone to blow kisses at the gaping residents before spinning around to follow Callie.

✦

"Alright, spill." Briar orders, narrowing her eyes at Callie over the top of her coffee mug. She dragged Callie out of the hospital on their lunch break, needing her to talk about whatever has been bothering her before the surgery. Also, Briar feels a little like she's been living at the hospital, and the different environment feels refreshing.

"Spill what?" Callie asks, poking at her sandwich and avoiding Briar's eyes.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you. Come on, Cal, I know you."

"Do you want kids?" Callie blurts out a moment later, before her eyes widen as if she didn't plan on saying that. She doesn't take it back or change the subject, though, instead just tilting her head as she stares at Briar, who takes a moment to contemplate the question.

"Probably." She says slowly, before deciding to elaborate when Callie starts to look frustrated. "It's not really a yes or no for me. With the right person and the right circumstances, yes. If I never find the right person, or I'm never in the right stage of my life, then no. I'm okay with both."

"But–you can't actually be happy either way." Callie tells her, barreling on when Briar lifts one eyebrow at her. "Like, there's never going to be a right time to have a baby unless you make it the right time. And who cares about finding the right person, tons of single parents make it work!"

"They do, and I respect them for it, but I don't want that." Briar answers honestly, and then shrugs at Callie. "If I have kids, it'll be because my partner and I had many, many conversations about it and both are in agreement about when, how, how many, how we'll raise them, etcetera. That's all important. And there is a right and wrong time to have kids, and it depends on each person, but for me . . . I won't even entertain the idea until I'm established as an attending. If I were to have a kid right now, I wouldn't be a good parent."

"What are you talking about? You'd be amazing." Callie rushes to assure her, frowning, but Briar just shakes her head.

"You're saying that as my friend, and I love that you think that way, but I know myself and it's not true. My main focus right now is on being a surgical resident. I think about surgery all the time. I dream about surgery. Alex and I watch Mer's mom's surgical tapes so often we have most, if not all, of them memorized. Emotionally, I'm not ready for a kid. Financially, too, it's not plausible. And I . . . I want to be financially and mentally secure before I even entertain the idea of becoming a mom. I want to be at a time in my life where I embrace staying home for however long instead of constantly wanting to be at work, and who knows if I'll ever get there? And I want a partner to do it with. So, my answer is probably."

Callie mulls that over while Briar takes the opportunity to eat her own sandwich, and then they get to the real issue.

"Arizona doesn't want kids, and I do. I really want kids. I dream about kids. I daydream about kids. I want kids with her, and she doesn't want them with me, and it's tearing me apart. It's tearing us apart, and I don't know what to do."

Briar looks at her sympathetically, really feeling for her and what she's struggling with. They love each other so much, but a relationship with that kind of issue isn't sustainable. Not healthily, at least.

"You have to be honest with her. Callie . . . it's up to the two of you to decide, but can you live without having kids for her? Because if it's something that you'll come to resent her for, you need to figure that out. Kids aren't something you can compromise on: forcing her to have kids when she isn't ready, or simply doesn't want them, isn't healthy for any of you."

"I know," Callie whispers, looking heartbroken, and Briar sighs before reaching across the table to hold her hand.

"Just talk to her, okay? I'm here if you need me after."

✦

Derek's party sucks.

They have to wear fancy attire and sip out of cocktail glasses while holding polite conversation. Briar wants to grab a bottle of vodka–she just purchased caramel and cake bottles, and she mourns their absence from her hand–and dance on the table wildly, the way she normally does at a party thrown at the house.

Instead, she's forcing a smile on her face while some guy she doesn't know tries to talk her up. Briar doesn't remember his name and he has not said one interesting thing.

"I have to go." She says bluntly, cutting off whatever boring thing he's droning on about. Honestly, it's a miracle she hasn't started yawning.

"Uh, go where? Can I come with?" He asks, smirking, and she looks at him with complete disgust.

"As far away from you as I can get, and you most certainly cannot." She says, before spinning on her heel and taking a quick survey of the room. Alex is making bedroom eyes at Lexie; Meredith is glowering at Owen and a very wasted Cristina, neither of whom have seen her; Callie is nowhere to be found, likely avoiding her new ex-girlfriend; Mark is–ew–making bedroom eyes at Pixie Cut.

And . . . Jackson is laughing in a corner with a disgusted looking Kepner, both of them watching Mark and Reed. Jackpot.

It only takes her a minute to step behind them, laughing when Kepner complains about her friend disrespecting the Chief by "dating" someone at his party.

"It's adorable that you think they'll date." Briar tells them, making Kepner jump. The other two laugh at her before Briar continues. "Lexie was an outlier, but Mark doesn't date. He'll fuck any woman willing to spread her legs, which looks to be your friend tonight. That's all she is to him, so hopefully she isn't harboring another super obvious crush."

At the words 'super obvious crush' she levels a pointed look at Kepner, who flushes bright red. She's still got her crush on Derek, and Briar unapologetically finds it hilarious. She doesn't make her suffer for long, however, turning to Jackson and grinning at him.

"This party sucks ass." They both ignore Kepner's protests as she tries to stick up for Derek, who isn't even there to hear her. "But I know what can save it. There's a bottle of vodka with our names on it. You game?"

"Lead the way," He tells her with a bright smirk. Brilliant. She wastes no time in dragging him to the kitchen to retrieve the bottles from the freezer, Briar having no shame as she scoops both into her arms and leads him upstairs to her bedroom. If he thinks he's getting lucky, he's in for a real disappointment: she's thinking more along the lines of drinking games.

It'd be more fun to dance on tables while he watches, but Briar can settle for strip poker.

✦

"Arizona! Hi, I'm with you today!" Briar says brightly, smiling as she walks up to her favorite peds surgeon, only for that smile to fall when Arizona doesn't look up from her charts as she waves her off.

"No, you're not."

"Um, I think maybe you looked at the wrong schedule, because I was just there and . . ."

"You are not on my rotation because I don't want you on it." She explains, and Briar freezes when Arizona finally looks up only to give her a look of great disdain.

"Um, did I–did I do something wrong?" Briar asks, frantically thinking back to her last peds rotation. It's been awhile, so maybe Arizona is upset about that? Except that she's had Alex rotating in more frequently. Alex likes peds, and Briar has been happy about the two of them working together more often.

"What you did, Dr. Sinclair, is tell my girlfriend to break up with me–"

"Wait, no, that's not what–!"

"I can't look at you right now. Go find a different attending." With that, she leaves Briar behind, gaping after the normally cheerful blonde and feeling lost. She prides herself on having good relationships with her superiors at this hospital: she's worked hard for her reputation. This can't be happening.

✦

"I need you working this with me. Come on, drop OB and join peds for the day." Alex pleads, running his hands down his face as they sit together at lunch.

"I can't." Briar sighs, scowling down at the lunch she packed while hungover. She packed herself two yogurts, and she doesn't even like yogurt. It's all bullshit.

"You can. It'll be easy."

"No, Alex, I can't. Arizona has decided she hates me because I told her girlfriend to communicate with her, and so I was kicked from peds for who knows how long!"

"Okay . . . we're talking about that later. Seriously, I need help with this case." Alex pleads. Briar finally takes the time to properly look at him, sighing at the desperation on his face.

"Okay, fine, only because it's you asking. Walk me through it."

"I friggin love you. Okay, so her parents, previous doctors, Shepherd and Arizona all think she's schizophrenic, but I saw the look in her eyes and I don't think so. She's got hyperacusis, vertigo, tinnitus, nystagmus. This blows."

Briar chews on her lip, trying to figure it out, before shaking her head in annoyance at the noise level in the cafeteria.

"Come on, let's go to the research library." She decides, making him jump to his feet as he slams shut his textbook. "How were her scans?"

"Clear." He sighs out. "She's worse with sounds. We have to whisper and even that bothers her."

"Maybe you should start writing down what you have to say instead of whispering it." She suggests, and then brightens up. "Ooh! Call Lexie, consult Lexipedia."

"You're a genius." He says while they rush to the library, Alex calling her as they go. He puts the call on speaker, Briar grinning with excitement when Lexie starts talking. It's always so cool to see how her brain and its photographic memory work.

"Oh! Uh, page 162 in a June . . . 2004 issue of a journal with a mint green cover. It's, uh, sound- or pressure-induced vertigo. It's called . . . um, I can't . . . Crap. I can't see it. Um."

"It's like a computer froze." Alex groans, making Lexie sigh on the other end of the line.

"I mean, at least we're not searching blindly." Briar defends, Lexie agreeing with her pointedly.

"You're right. Thanks, Lex." Alex says, hanging up as the two of them reach the research library. "Oh, by the way, we're exclusive now."

Briar gapes at his retreating figure before shaking her head in disbelief. "We're discussing that later!"

✦

"Have you ever thought about what it would've been like if we chose to do our residency at a different hospital?" Briar asks Alex, the two of them alone in the tunnels. He makes a questioning noise, and she sighs, crumpling up her empty chip bag to give herself something to do with her hands. "Like, how different our lives would be, if we weren't here. I just . . . I don't know. I can't stop thinking about everything we've been through already in the last three years here and–I don't know. Is it worth it?"

"If we were working somewhere else, I wouldn't have been able to help diagnose Hayley. That alone makes it worth it." Alex decides. Briar hums, knowing that he's still riding the high from that surgery. He deserves to be proud of himself: he really stepped up and advocated for her.

"I have friends in Chicago." Briar muses, frowning down at her hands. "I–I think I would've enjoyed doing my residency there."

"Yeah, but Chicago wasn't on my list, so we wouldn't have met."

"Should've gone there." Briar jokes weakly, before sighing and deciding to stop moping. She's annoying herself with it. "Hey, you did great today. I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud of myself." Alex says, and the words are very much a revelation. Briar reaches over and smacks a kiss on his cheek before shoving herself off of their gurney. "I'm going to take Lexie out for drinks. Do you want to come?"

"Nah, take your girlfriend out privately." Briar tells him, giving him her best smile. "I'll be alright. Tomorrow's a new day, right?"

Tomorrow will be a better day.

✦

authors note:
this was such a boring chapter, but... next chapter is sanctuary. buckle up folks, it's gonna be a dark & twisty ride

i am so ready to write about season 7!!! trauma bonding MALJAC is so special to me. i have so many plans!!