Trigger warning:

detailed discussion of rape, kidnapping, and abuse. physical descriptions of abuse. if anyone needs more details, or wants something else mentioned, please let me know <3

✦

Interviews stress Briar out.

Well, okay, she's pretty sure they stress everyone out: what do you wear, what do you say, how often do you smile, should you crack jokes or be completely serious? Mark's mock interviews do help her a lot, since he's been in her shoes, interviewing with hospitals to try and find a perfect fit.

She does her best to have a firm handshake, and let her personality shine through while remaining professional.

Possibly the most awkward thing is the way that her year haven't taken their boards yet. She knows intellectually that this is normal, but she feels like a liar insisting that she's going to be double certified with nothing but lab hours to back her up. As impressed as the hospitals are over that, it frightens her: what if she talks too much game, and then bombs her boards? What if she has to retrace her steps and explain that, sorry, she only passed one test–or worse, passed neither?

The more hospitals she visits, the more she wants to stay at Seattle Grace.

Honestly, that thought's been the only one keeping her feeling somewhat in control of her life. She knows the doctors at Seattle Grace, she knows that they trust her and she trusts them. If she stays, she can be more involved with Sofia than if she leaves for at least two to four years. She can be there for Lexie's last year of residency, which is a serious selling point.

The one thing making her hesitate is the fear that all of her friends are going to leave.

And doesn't that make her feel juvenile. Really, she's only known these people for five years: her life should not be revolving around them, and yet . . .

It probably doesn't help that Jackson and her haven't had that talk about their futures. They wanted to, truly, but then life got busy and they agreed to just wait until they know what options they have. No point discussing hypotheticals.

(She really wants to discuss hypotheticals.)

"Cristina! Briar!" Meredith's voice calls through the airport, and Briar grabs Cristina's arm, pulling her to a stop. A couple curses at them as they maneuver around them, but Briar ignores them in favor of pulling Mer into a hug as soon as she reaches them.

"How was Dallas?" She asks Cristina, before turning to Briar. "And how was Cleveland?"

"Ugh. Bad. I can operate circles around the head of the program." Cristina complains, and Briar nods along, having heard the whole story already. Their flights got here within half an hour of each other, so Cristina had waited for hers to get in before they tried to leave. "I'm sick of all this schlepping. From now on, they're gonna have to come to me."

Meredith laughs, before looking at Briar, who smiles at her.

"I mean, it's the Cleveland Clinic. They have all the newest toys, and the head of ortho seemed really impressed. Also, he gave me a care package with a mixture of things from Cleveland, Erie, and Pittsburgh which was sweet but . . . I don't know if I want to be that close to Pittsburgh." She admits to them, sighing loudly. "I mean, their offer is amazing, but just being on that side of the country freaks me out. Is that crazy?"

The poor guy kept trying to get her to take the offer by mentioning its closeness to her hometown. "It'll be easier to visit family." He'd joked, and she'd faked a laugh back while thinking that he was doing the opposite of what he thought he was. She'd never wanted to leave an interview more in her life. And it was the Cleveland Clinic! She should be dying to go there!

"Well, Seattle's pretty far from Pittsburgh." Meredith laughs. "Just stay here."

"Maybe. . ." Briar sighs again, changing the subject. "How was SF?"

"No, it was Boston." Cristina jumps in, but Meredith shakes her head.

"No, Briar's right. It was San Francisco. I'm supposed to leave for Boston tonight but I think I'm gonna cancel." She explains, and Briar raises her eyebrows, side-eyeing Meredith. Is she also having a hard time with leaving Seattle?

"What? Only an idiot cancels the Brigham. And didn't Bailey set that up for you? No." Cristina protests, just as they get to where Derek and Zola are waiting for Meredith. "Uh-uh. She's gonna kill you."

"How cute is she?" Meredith squeals, waving to Zola, who has a pink balloon tied to her wrist.

"Hi!" Derek waves back, helping Zola wave. All three of them wave back.

"Hey, do you guys need a ride, or are Jackson and Owen . . ." She trails off for a long, awkward second, and Cristina gives her a sarcastic smile.

"Picking me up? No."

"So, how'd it go?" Derek asks, and Meredith laughs, rushing to grab Zola.

"It was great! Hi, baby girl!"

Briar turns to Cristina, linking arms with her. "Want to get milkshakes and bitch about this whole process?"

"Do I ever?" Cristina sighs, giving her a grateful smile, and they quickly say their goodbyes to their friends. Zola pouts when they leave, before she gets distracted by Meredith long enough for them to slip away.

"Your idiot wife wants to cancel her interview at the Brigham!" Cristina snitches as they go, and Briar giggles as she pulls her away before Meredith can retaliate.

✦

Cornell really knows how to make a girl feel special, she'll give them that.

They send her a bouquet of tulips with a note about how they symbolize rebirth, and their program can offer that for her, which is a little over the top but very much appreciated. Next, they send her a full on gift basket, complete with fruit, chocolate, and a personalized mug with her name on it above the hospital's logo, stuffed with hot chocolate packets and mini marshmallows. Briar respects that their director remembered her turning down the offer for coffee, and switched it up for her.

She's not the only one receiving gift baskets–Cristina is as well, and they make a game of deciding whose are better.

"Oh, this is getting ridiculous." April complains when Briar and Cristina walk into the locker room, both holding their baskets.

"The N.I.H.?" Jackson snatches the note from Cristina's basket, shaking his head. "Since when does the N.I.H bribe residents to work for them?"

"Oh, they don't, except when you're me, a god." Cristina brags, unwrapping the basket to reveal cookies.

"Ooh, yum." Briar grins, snatching one at the same time as Alex, who complains about it being stale.

"Aw, Karev. Is this hard for you, having to beg for interviews while some of us just sit back and get wooed?" Cristina mocks him while Briar unwraps her gift basket, revealing a variety of self-care products.

"Ooh, hand lotion. I need that." She beams, snatching it up from the pile. Her hands are always on the verge of cracking with how often she washes them daily. Scrubbing in is not for soft hands, she'll tell you that much. "April, here!" She tosses over a perfume after smelling it, smiling at the eucalyptus smell. "Wear that for your interview. It's nice."

"Thanks." April beams at her, setting it in her locker as she continues getting changed.

"No one is begging."

"Oh, yeah? Maybe you should. Maybe that way, you'd actually get an interview." April tells him, and Briar laughs as she turns around to high five her.

"Ha! I love mean Kepner." Cristina approves, turning back to her basket, which Jackson is eating out of.

"Seriously, Alex, you need to talk to Arizona." Briar tells him seriously, because this is getting ridiculous. She should be advocating for him and getting him interviews, not sitting back and watching him sink.

"This sucks, okay?" Alex complains, grabbing another cookie, despite them 'being stale.' "I mean, we got boards in a couple weeks and–and now they want us to go on freaking job interviews? There's only so much crap a guy can have thrown at him before he snaps."

"There's a trauma coming in on the roof." Owen appears in the entryway. "Sinclair, Kepner, you're with me."

"I gotta leave for my Midwestern interview in an hour. I told you yesterday." April reminds him while Briar crosses over to him, impatiently waiting for someone to volunteer in her place.

"Avery?" Owen tries.

"Sloan's got me all day, Chief. Sorry."

Cristina looks away from him instantly, a blank expression falling over her face, and Briar shares a look with Meredith. They both hate what her husband cheating has done to her, but there isn't much they can do to fix it.

"I'm free." Meredith offers, joining them.

They rush up to the roof just in time for the helicopter to land, and Briar is the first one by the side of their patient.

"Female hiker found at the bottom of a ravine." They're told by the flight paramedic. "Positive L.O.C with obvious head and abdominal trauma, hypothermia, frostbite, you name it."

Briar's heart breaks at how young their patient looks, covered in bruises and blood, most of it dried and caked in. Her hair is tangled to the point that Briar wonders if she won't have to chop it off after this.

"Airway is clear." Briar calls out after checking, genuinely surprised by that considering she was found in a ravine.

"Weakened pulse."

Owen moves forward to shine a light in her eyes, and she regains consciousness with a frightened gasp, her eyes shooting around. Briar can't imagine how scary it must be to wake up and not be able to move, since they have her on a gurney with a c-collar on.

"I'm Dr. Sinclair." She greets warmly, leaning into her line of vision. "I'm with Dr. Hunt and Dr. Grey. You're at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. Can you tell me your name?"

She lets out another gasp, her gaze falling from Briar's, clearly too scared to think straight. Without thinking, Briar grabs her hand, and her eyes shoot back to hers.

"Hi, honey. You're okay, I promise." She assures her. "We're going to take great care of you."

As soon as the elevator opens, they're rushing out, pushing through the crowd and shouting for them to get out of the way. The girl's eyes never leave Briar's the entire time. If she had the strength to, Briar is sure she would be squeezing her hand, but her body has been through too much damage.

"Okay, we're gonna be right on the other side of that glass." Meredith assures her as they finish setting her up for her scans a little while later. "Just try to stay calm."

Briar moves to follow Meredith out of the room, but the girl doesn't let go of her hand, her breath coming out in shallow pants. She looks paralyzed with fear, a shattered look in her eyes that Briar knows a little too well, and she can't leave her like this.

"Mer, I'm going to stay with her." She calls out, and Meredith frowns as she looks at her hand on Briar's wrist before nodding.

She leaves the room, and Briar leans in closer, examining the mark around the girl's wrist. A quick examination shows the same ones around her ankles, and she takes a steadying breath, not wanting to scare this poor girl any worse.

"You weren't out hiking, were you?" She asks softly, and she shakes her head minutely. "Okay. Thank you for telling me. You're safe here, I promise."

"Sinclair, what's the hold up?" Owen asks over the intercom just as Meredith comes back with a protective apron for her. Briar holds up the blanket so that Meredith can see the ligature marks on her ankles, seeing her eyes widen as she nods, quickly exiting to alert Owen.

"I'm staying right here with you." Briar promises, giving her a warm smile as she squeezes her hand. Some of the panic leaves her expression. "I'm not moving for anything, okay? I'm trained in kickboxing, so I'd love to see someone try and move me."

"I have to let go of your hand so that you can go into the machine." She informs her gently, seeing some of the panic resurfacing, and quickly expels it. "I'll stand right here and talk to you, okay? You can't talk back while in there, but maybe hearing my voice will help."

She gets the smallest smile from the girl, and already knows that she'll do anything to keep her feeling safe.

✦

"She was abused, it's all over the x-rays." Briar notes sadly. She has a displaced tibial fracture, and multiple rib fractures, although her lungs are thankfully fine. There are numerous fractures throughout her body that were never treated. "She's terrified, and I know that look in her eyes."

"We have to call the police." Meredith points out.

"Just stay calm. We don't know anything for sure until she talks." Owen tells them. Briar shakes her head.

"Oh, and she gave herself ligament marks?" She scoffs. "She nodded when I asked her if she wasn't out there hiking. I think she escaped."

"Hunt, she has a temporal bone fracture." Derek informs them, looking at the monitor with Lexie. "I'm gonna have to do a middle fossa approach."

"There's an aneurysm in her celiac artery." Bailey adds, pointing it out to Briar. "I'll need to put a graft in."

"She's ready to be put under, Chief."

"Hold on." Briar tells them, moving back to the girl's side. "You were running from someone, right? Before you fell into the ravine?"

She slowly nods, her lips trembling, and Briar carefully squeezes her hand again.

"Thank you. Remember, you're safe here, I promise. Can you tell me your name?"

"He–he called me Susan." She whispers, her voice breaking halfway through and trembling throughout. "But I–I think it's Holly."

"Do you want me to call you Holly?" She asks, ignoring the looks Meredith and Bailey shoot each other, clearly recognizing that name somehow. She nods again. "Okay. Holly it is. Holly, we need to fix your injuries, and that means we have to put you to sleep for a little while. Is that okay?"

She nods, looking relieved at the thought of not being awake. Briar can't blame her.

"Okay, honey, they're going to start that now. I'll be in the room helping them, and I'll be right here when you wake up." She assures her, meaning every word. Other doctors can handle the other cases that come in, they aren't her priority.

✦

"Okay, someone explain the reaction to the name Holly." She orders as soon as they're in the O.R., looking at the other doctor's. "I'm not from here, and I'm not familiar with that name."

"Holly Wheeler." Lexie tells her, sharing a look with Meredith. "Her name was Holly Wheeler."

"We don't know anything yet." Derek shakes his head. "Let's not jump to conclusions."

"What's the story with Holly Wheeler? Kidnapped, I'm assuming?" She asks them, ignoring Derek.

"It was all over the news." Lexie explains for her. "She was in the grocery store with her mom, and somebody just . . . took her. It was the summer of . . . 2000."

"Okay, I need to see a news report about this, or something." Briar sighs, not wanting to get Holly Wheeler's parents falsely excited if they jump the gun. "How old was she when she was taken?"

"She was 6, and they weren't in the supermarket, they were outside." Bailey tells them, her voice shaking. "Her mom bumped into a friend, started talking about the block party they were having that weekend. Uh, could she bring a salad? They had enough dessert already. I mean, that's how long it took for her to realize that her child wasn't there anymore."

Briar swallows thickly, thinking about that. It's horrifying to know how quickly someone can swoop in and kidnap someone. She thinks about that anytime she takes Zola and Sofia out, always too scared of something happening to them if she looks away for two seconds. When she took them to the zoo a few weeks ago, she'd struggled a lot whenever she had to pay for something, not wanting to drop either one of their hands long enough to complete the transaction.

"That story runs through my head every time Tuck walks out the door." Bailey confesses. "And–and yeah, we don't know if this is her, so please let's just stop talking about it and operate."

"Bailey, Shepherd, Sinclair, can you stop for a moment?" Owen requests, entering the room. Briar does just that, having been about to realign her tibia.

"What is it?"

"The police want us to check for a birthmark under her arm." Meredith tells them.

Bailey checks her right side, shaking her head, and then it's Briar's turn. She doesn't see one when she lifts up her arm, also shaking her head, but Meredith speaks up again.

"The other side. Further up." She directs, and Briar lifts up her arm, tilting it and revealing a brown birthmark exactly where Holly Wheeler's was.

Briar gently places her arm down, taking a second to breathe before she's pushing her feelings away and getting back to work.

✦

"Okay. Can you wiggle your toes?" Derek asks after they've finished operating, and she's woken up. She's not as obviously scared now, though she seems almost numb with shock. Briar and Derek both smile when she does just that. "Painful?" She nods. "Yeah. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell. But you're doing great, okay?"

He turns and nods at Owen, who allows the psychiatrist to enter the room.

"Holly, I'm Doctor Fincher." She introduces herself, stopping a few inches away from Holly's bed. "I'm a therapist who works for the hospital. Is it okay if the police ask you a few questions? Only if you feel up to it."

Holly immediately turns her head to look at Briar, who smiles at her.

"It's up to you. If you'd like, I can stay while they do it." She promises, ignoring the annoyed look Dr. Fincher sends her way. Holly nods, and Owen waves the two officers into the room.

"Do you know his name, Holly–the man that was keeping you?" One of the cops asks gently. Holly doesn't look at him, clearly scared by men, and Briar wonders with frustration why they didn't send a female cop for this part.

Holly once again looks to Briar, who nods.

"It's okay. You can trust them." She assures her, and she takes a deep breath before nodding.

"Joseph." She answers, never looking away from Briar, who reaches out and gently squeezes her shoulder. "Joseph Ingles."

The other cop instantly leaves the room, while the one doing the talking smiles at Holly, who doesn't see it.

"That's great. Really helpful. Now can you tell us anything about where you were living? Was it a house, an apartment?"

"It was a house." Holly slowly answers, her gaze distant. "One story. It has a basement."

"Do you know if there were any roads nearby? Could you hear cars?"

"He didn't let me go outside." Holly answers, her voice breaking.

"Do you want to stop?" Briar asks just as Dr. Fincher opens her mouth to speak, giving her a sharp look. "You're in control here."

She nods, giving Briar a thankful look, and Briar reaches over to shake the cops hand.

"Thank you, Officer, but we're done here for now." She dismisses him. "I understand that you have more questions, but she's just undergone major surgery, and she needs a break."

"Of course." He agrees, although he clearly wants more answers. "We'll be here whenever you feel up to talking again, Holly."

The rest of them trail out of the room while Briar stays, updating her charts and explaining everything she does to Holly, who watches her every move with interest. Outside, Dr. Fincher is complaining to the others about letting her get attached to Briar, who rolls her eyes and grins when Holly smiles at the action.

"The protocol is to call psych right away." She's protesting. "You didn't, and now our patient has bonded with a surgeon."

"Her name is Dr. Sinclair." Meredith tells her dryly.

"Dr. Sinclair, fine. That's who Holly has chosen. There's no breaking that bond now. This never should've–"

"We can hear you, you know." Briar pulls open the door, giving Dr. Fincher an unimpressed look. "I'm sorry that you feel slighted, but what did you want me to do? Just stand back and not help a traumatized girl? That's not how we do things here, and if you don't agree, take your feelings elsewhere. You're upsetting my patient."

She shuts the door on Dr. Fincher's surprised face, and Holly laughs breathily from behind her.

"Are you going to get in trouble for that?"

"Eh, I'm advocating for my patient." She shrugs it off, winking at Holly before grabbing the TV remote. "Now, I have to do boring doctor stuff and finish your charts, so you have free reign of all our wonderful channels. Go wild."

✦

Things get tense when Holly's parents arrive.

"I'd know you anywhere . . . you are still my perfect baby girl." Her mom says, standing on the right side of her bed while Briar stands on her left. She can't stop staring at the way Holly's trembling hands are curled inwards, picking at her skin in a way Briar recognizes from herself. "Holly, I know it's soon, but I would like to hug you. Would that be okay?"

Dr. Webber and Dr. Fincher are in the corner, watching this with sympathy for the parents, while Briar only has eyes for Holly.

Holly slowly nods, looking unsure about it, and her parents quickly wrap her up in a hug. Holly doesn't relax into it, looking uncertain as they keep calling her their baby girl, crying into the hug. She doesn't look away from Briar, who holds eye contact despite the awkwardness she's feeling.

After a few seconds she steps in, not wanting them to push Holly too much.

"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler, but she did just have surgery." She reminds them gently, and relief flashes over Holly's face as they pull away. The mom wipes at her eyes while the dad sniffles loudly, and they both frown slightly when Holly reaches for Briar's hand.

✦

They catch the kidnapper, but Holly doesn't seem any less scared when she hears the news. Briar isn't surprised: trauma doesn't go away just because the one responsible does.

Briar is pretty much living at the hospital, yet again, although she really doesn't mind. Jackson brings her food and snacks, along with textbooks and notecards so that she can keep studying. When Holly falls asleep, Briar sneaks out into the hallway, pressing her back against the door and facetiming him so that she can join in on the group studying even though she isn't physically there.

Holly's parents come by every day, bringing more and more of Holly's old things with them. Briar isn't sure she'd want to see all this evidence of once having a happy life, but she's not in charge of that, so she brings the items into Holly's room and waits for her to speak up about it.

"Alright, I've been given a bunny and a photo album." Briar tells Holly, stepping into the room. "Do you want to look through it?"

"No." Holly answers quickly, not taking her eyes off of the stuffed animal.

"Do you want me to give them back?"

"No." She answers, and then sighs. "Yes. I don't know. Did they really think that this would work? Give me some photo albums and a stuffed animal, and we'd be normal again?"

"It's their way of trying to help you remember." Briar explains. "I understand that–"

"You don't understand." Holly snaps, and Briar shuts up, letting her get her frustrations out. Honestly, she's relieved to see some fire in the girl after days of channel surfing and monosyllabic answers. She's never been happier to get snapped at. "I remember all of it. I remember the first day of school and them giving me that stupid bunny for my 6th birthday. I remember the first time he made me take my clothes off and how hard he kicked me when I didn't act like I liked it or how his breath smelled like cigarettes. How I could've gotten away a bunch of times, but every time I made it outside, I could hear his voice in my head . . . that they didn't want me, that I was dead to them, and that the only reason I finally ran away was because he told me that he was gonna take another girl . . . because I was too old and used up and disgusting now. Tell them that."

Briar doesn't look away from her, even when she looks down at the end of the speech, and finally speaks up after about a minute of silence.

"My step dad threatened to kill my little brother."

Her words get Holly to look up again, confusion and what looks like hope on her face. Briar understands that well, the feeling that you're all alone, and the relief that maybe someone understands a little bit of what you've gone through.

"He got drunk one night and came into my room. I–I think I tried to excuse it for a while. I told myself that I look like my mom, that he got confused, that he was drunk . . . that it wouldn't happen again. But I was twelve, and you don't just confuse a kid's body for an adult's. And it happened again, and again, and again. My little brother used to sleep in my room, but I forced him to sleep in his own bed, and I never told anyone what was happening. My mom–she knew. She slept in the room next door, and she–the day after that first time, she drew me a bath, which she never does, and she helped me into it because I couldn't walk. She didn't say anything about the blood, or the bruises. She never said anything, and then she put me on birth control. I kept–I kept waiting for her to say something, or do something, but she never did. She just pretended it wasn't happening."

"I think I'm mad at them." Holly whispers, tears in her eyes. "Is that bad?"

"No." Briar shakes her head fiercely, wiping away her own tears. "Nothing that you feel is ever bad, or wrong. Not about this. You can be mad. I'm still mad."

"Okay." Holly whispers, before she picks the remote back up from where she abandoned it. "Tell them I don't remember anything."

Briar nods, taking a detour to the attached bathroom to get rid of any evidence of her tears, not wanting Holly's parents to get suspicious of her while she lies directly to their faces.

✦

Jackson is struggling with only being recruited for his family name, after his interview ends with the woman asking about his grandfather.

"You're a name brand." Alex tells him while Jackson stabs at his fruit with his fork. "You're like the freakin' Ritz-Carlton of surgery. Who cares if that's why they want you?"

"Because he knows deep down he's more of a roadside motel." Cristina snarks, making Briar laugh from next to her. She's enjoying eating a meal in the cafeteria, even as she keeps her eyes on Holly, who keeps looking back at her for reassurance.

Holly will be going home soon, and so Dr. Fincher has decided that she needs to brave the cafeteria by herself.

"Oh, oh, oh, she's going for the soup!" April narrates, frowning when Briar hits her in the shoulder. "Ow. What?"

"Don't gawk at her. She's not a zoo animal." She snaps, shaking her head.

"She's looking good. Looking confident." Jackson notes, smiling. "Nice job, Briar."

"I literally haven't done anything." Briar notes dryly, watching as Holly gives up on the soup before she's shoving herself out of her seat. Fuck this.

"Hey, screw their rules." She says when she reaches her, and Holly brightens up. "I mean, you've been kidnapped for 12 years, fuck their opinions on social skills. What do you want to eat?"

"Pizza." Holly says immediately, and Briar laughs as she leads her over.

"Good choice." She tells her, waving when they reach the pizza station. "Hey, Dave. This is Holly. Holly, what kind do you want?"

There's a long pause where Dave looks impatient and Briar thinks Holly isn't going to answer. Finally, she pushes her shoulders back and looks somewhere over Dave's shoulder. "Ch–Cheese."

"Great." Briar says cheerfully. "Two pieces, please. Thank you, Dave."

Holly exhales loudly when they walk away, her hands shaking slightly. Briar watches the tray, ready to save it if she has to, but she doesn't grab it from her just yet.

"Well, I think you deserve dessert." Briar smirks at her, leading the way to the dessert table. "The best part is that it's self-serve, so you don't have to talk to anyone. Cookie?"

✦

They weren't able to take care of all of the fractures with the first surgery, since there was so much damage done to her body over the years. They have to operate again, and this time Callie joins Briar, along with Mark and Jackson.

"Chisel, please." Callie requests. "Man, look at all this callus formation. He would've had to break this arm three or four times to get this amount of scar tissue. And the humerus is pretty strong, even in a young kid."

"Callie." Briar protests softly, feeling sick. She's too attached to this case and she knows it, but she can't help it. She sees herself in her. Jackson gives her a worried look, and she looks away, knowing that she's been concerning him the past few days. "Please stop."

"Kinda makes you sick, just thinking about the amount of force it took to break it–"

"Okay, can we talk about something else?" Bailey bursts, and Briar lets out a relieved exhale when Callie stops talking. "I mean, you know, who knows what they hear subconsciously? So it–maybe it wouldn't hurt to come up with a conversation about something other than every parents' worst nightmare."

"Avery scored an interview at U.C.L.A!" Mark brags, lightening the mood.

"That is not what she meant." Jackson protests the attention while Briar beams.

"No, that's–that's good. Let's hear about that." Bailey agrees.

"Well, it's a top 10 program, which is impressive. Of course, it's just as much a reflection on me as a teacher as it is his surgical skill." Mark gloats, winking at Jackson. "Even better, he and Briar just received gift baskets from them, so they might end up with the dream team of surgeons."

"They sent me a gift basket?" Briar asks, since it's the first she's hearing about it. Her mind is racing: is U.C.L.A one of Jackson's top contenders? She had liked it when she visited. Maybe . . .

"Yep. I bragged about you both, sue me." Mark shrugs, and Briar smiles for the first time at that news. "They sent you both a lovely collection of scrubs, scrub caps, and baked goods. I helped myself to the muffins, but the cookies are still there."

"Wow." Briar says dryly, shaking her head. "Thank you for that."

"You're so welcome." Mark laughs, but Briar pays him no mind, frowning at Holly's pelvis.

"Callie, can you come look at this?" She asks, despite knowing what she's seeing. She wants a second opinion. "That's an avulsion fracture, right?"

"It is." Callie agrees, frowning with her. "See how old it is?"

"That's what I'm worried about." Briar sighs, shaking her head. The thought of her living with such a horrific fracture for years . . . "God, can this girl catch a break?"

✦

"Holly, we wanted to ask you a few questions about an old fracture in your pelvis." Briar tells her after the operation. Callie is in the room, as well as Holly's parents. "It's called an avulsion fracture. We were wondering when it might've happened, since it's too old to have been from you running away."

"Do you remember when the pain first started?" Callie asks. "Or anything that might've happened right before that, a . . . a fall, maybe?"

"No, I–I–I don't." She says, frowning up at Briar before recognition lights up her eyes. "Oh! Maybe it happened after I had the baby?"

Briar keeps her focus on Holly, fighting to keep her face calm, as she hears Callie inhale harshly. She doesn't dare look at Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler.

"It was a few years ago." Holly tells Briar, who nods encouragingly. "I–I think it died. I couldn't walk for a long time after. I–I–It must've happened then, right?"

"Most likely, yes." Briar agrees softly, pushing down her anger over all of this happening to her. No one ever deserves that. A quick glance shows heartbreak on Holly's parents' faces, with her mom muffling her cries with her hand. Holly follows her gaze, her eyes widening.

"I–I'm sorry, I didn't, should I not–?"

"No, it's okay." Briar assures her as her mother rushes out of the room, followed by her dad. "It's important that we know these things, for your medical history."

Callie leaves after taking a few notes down, and then it's just Briar and Holly, who is frowning.

"What's on your mind?" Briar asks her, sitting down next to her bed.

"They leave every time I mention him." She asks, referring to her parents. "It's–I mean, I get it, they don't want to hear about it, but . . . it was my life. Everyone talks around it, except for you. 'What you've been through' and 'what happened to you' instead of just saying that I was kept in a basement for 12 years. I was kicked and raped and slapped and starved, but no one else wants me to say that to them. I couldn't talk about them to him, and now I can't talk about him."

"Okay, so let's change that." Briar scoots her chair closer. "Talk about him."

"You won't get it." She looks away, but Briar does.

"My step-dad came to this championship game once." She starts, taking a deep breath and letting the memory play out for her for a moment: young, and sweaty, and exhilarated as she chases a ball in the stands with someone cheering her on in the sidelines. "He cheered me on from the stands. He hadn't come to any soccer games before that, same with my mom, but he knew how important that match was for me. Our district did a whole World Cup thing, it was a big deal. So, he showed up, and afterwards he took me to get ice cream with all the other players and their parents."

"He wasn't only bad." Holly whispers, understanding, tears in her eyes from being understood.

"He wasn't only bad." Briar agrees, because that's the hardest part for abuse victims to wrap their heads around: how someone who could be so nice to them could also be awful.

"Sometimes he'd let me go upstairs." Holly tells her, and Briar listens. "We'd watch stuff together–movies. And it was like it was normal. When I came back here, I turned on the TV, and there was this movie on that we watched together. And I started to miss him. And I know that's bad, and I must be sick, and don't tell the shrink that I said anything, 'cause she . . . she's gonna ask me how I feel about it, and I don't know. All I know is, I should be happy that I'm here and not there. But sometimes I'm not."

Briar grabs her some tissues, leaning back in her chair as she thinks that over.

"You know, I have this theory that everyone is made up of other people. Like, we're all changed by the people around us, and we never really lose that. I cut my sandwiches into triangles because that's how my little brother liked them. When I go grocery shopping, I start at the back of the store and make my way through the aisles, because that's how my ex-husband does it. I do my stitches the way Dr. Torres does, because she's my mentor. People change us, in big ways and in small ways. So, any time you see that movie on, you're going to think of him. And sometimes they'll be happy thoughts, and sometimes it won't be, and it'll all be horrible because of who he was and what he did to you. That's okay. It's normal, even if nothing about this feels normal."

When Holly turns on the TV again, Briar thinks they might just be getting somewhere.

✦

"The C.T. showed a leak in her celiac artery graft." Briar explains to Holly's parents, while Cristina works on Holly in the room behind her. "We have to take her into the O.R. right away. I'm sorry, but I think you should go in and say goodbye to her before we take her to surgery."

"No. No, you go do that." Mrs. Wheeler tells her, shaking her head. "Help her, please."

"Kathleen, this is a very serious operation–"

"She doesn't trust us like she trusts you." Mrs. Wheeler states firmly, wringing her hands together. "Take care of her, please."

"I've got her." Briar says softly, grabbing her hands for a second before rushing into the room. "Someone get the blinds!"

She doesn't need them watching, especially when Holly starts crashing seconds after she enters the room.

"I need a chest tray." Cristina orders. "I need to crack her chest. Someone, uh, page Altman. I need a scalpel!"

"I'll assist." Briar jumps into the fray, determined that they get this right. They are not losing this girl. It'll break her if they do. "Rib spreaders!"

✦

Twelve days later finds all of the doctors involved in Holly's case inside of a conference room.

"Patient is 18-year-old female Holly Wheeler." Owen reports, standing at the front of the room. "Dr. Altman?"

"I got the page from Dr. Yang at 22:18, and then met her and Dr. Bailey in the O.R. where we discovered that the previous graft had become infected. While we tried to interpose another graft away from the infection, she arrested several times on the table. We had to restart internal cardiac massage, give her an intracardiac epi, and fortunately, we were able to resuscitate her."

Bailey grabs Briar's hand, squeezing it. The two of them have tears in their eyes, having been seriously affected by this case.

"Dr. Bailey was then able to repair the graft, and other than some initial touch and go in the C.C.U., she has been stable ever since."

"Your recommendation?"

"Patient is healthy and ready to go home."

"Neuro?"

"Signed off."

"Ortho?"

"We're good." Callie agrees, exchanging a smile with Briar, who wipes at her eyes quickly.

"Plastics?"

"Send her home."

"And general?" Owen looks to Bailey, who is breathing unsteadily. Briar uses her free hand to grab her a tissue. "Dr. Bailey?"

"Dr. Bailey signs off." Derek speaks for her, smiling gently at the woman, who's too affected to speak.

"Great. Well, Holly will continue her therapy with Dr. Fincher." Owen tells them. "As far as surgery is concerned, she's set to go home. Thank you, everyone, and especially a thank you to Dr. Sinclair."

Briar smiles at him, deciding right in that second that she needs to talk to him after this meeting.

Richard starts clapping, and the rest of them join in, surprising Owen.

"Okay, that's–that's enough. Let's get back to work." He laughs, surprised by the attention.

"Great job, Hunt." Richard congratulates him, while Briar waits to the side, nodding for Callie to stay. When the room finally clears out aside from her two mentors, Briar clears her throat.

"Um, I know I've been driving you two crazy by not responding to your offers." She admits, because Callie has been begging her to stay, and Owen has been giving her all of the best trauma cases in a clear attempt to sway her mind to staying.

"We understand that it's a tough decision." Owen tells her kindly, and Briar smiles.

"It is, but I've made up my mind." She tells them, shocking them both.

"But . . . don't you have more interviews?" Callie asks her, and she shrugs.

"I'll cancel them." She says, and a small smile forms on Owen's face, anticipating her next words.

"I'm accepting your offer. I'm staying here."

✦

"I've been thinking about what you said the other day." Holly tells her. They're sitting on the edge of her hospital bed together, waiting for her parents to finish signing her outpatient forms. "About being made up of people, and . . . I remember baking Christmas cookies with my mom, and how she'd set the bowl on the floor so that I could help stir everything together even though I took forever and made a mess. And how my dad would play dress up with me, even though I always made him be the princess. They–they're good parents. Right?"

"I think only you can answer that, but they love you a lot, and everyone can see that." Briar assures her. "They've been doing their best to give you space, and they've camped out in one of our on-call rooms all day every day, just in case you want to see them. I talked to them, and they understand that you're not six anymore. I think . . . it's going to be hard, and you're all going to mess up, but I think it can work. Just talk to them like you're talking to me."

"I'm scared." She admits in a whisper, and Briar can't help but pull her into a careful hug.

"I know. Do it scared." She whispers into Holly's hair. That'd been the hardest lesson for her to learn. "And, hey, if you ever need a break, you have my phone number. Use it."

"I will." Holly promises, just as her parents enter the room.

"The car's all packed. We have everything?" Mr. Wheeler asks, beaming as he looks at them.

Briar has to bite her lip to stop the just missing your daughter joke that wants to fly out of her mouth. She's not sure the parents of a previously kidnapped daughter would appreciate that one the way other patient's families do.

"Uh, yeah, I think so." Holly tells them, and Briar helps get her into the wheelchair.

"We can't thank you enough." Kathleen says, reaching out and grabbing her hand. Mr. Wheeler shakes it next, and she just smiles at them.

"I'm happy to have helped." She promises. "If you ever need anything, I'm one call away. I'll answer."

"Oh, you don't want to leave this behind." Mr. Wheeler grabs the stuffed bunny.

"Uh . . . yeah." Holly laughs, before pausing. She exchanges a look with Briar before speaking up. "Actually, I do. Um, I don't know. It just reminds me of everything that I–I missed out on. I'm sorry. I know that it–it means a lot to you guys, so–so we can take it if–if you want."

"No, it's fine." Mrs. Wheeler smiles while Mr. Wheeler sets it back down. "We can leave it."

Briar watches them leave the room together, her parents pushing her in the wheelchair. Holly gets one last, long look at her, and then they're gone.

Briar lets out a weighty sigh, looking around the room. It's funny how attached they get to patients, just for them to move on with their lives. They don't see most of them ever again. She starts flipping the room so that it's available for the next patient, wanting to help the nurses out.

The stuffed bunny gets tossed on the way out. She normally keeps things like that, bringing them to peds, but this one has lived it's life. It feels wrong to give it to another child.

✦

She finds herself at the airport bar that night, along with April, Cristina and Jackson. They all have flights to catch: she's just there for the alcohol. She takes two kamikaze shots, letting the alcohol burn and breathing through it.

"'Be less you?'" April repeats Jackson's advice to her. She's been turned down by hospitals due to not being a 'personality match.' "How do you be less yourself?"

Cristina slams her binder shut, balancing it on top of the other two, and all three of them get tossed in the trash on the other side of the bar. April turns to gape at Cristina while Briar laughs into Jackson's shoulder.

"There. Less you."

Alex joins them in a fancy suit, rolling his eyes when Briar catcalls him.

"You put on your suit?" Cristina asks.

"I gotta be at Yale first thing in the morning." He sighs, shrugging off the suit jacket as he takes a seat. He's finally convinced Arizona to help him get impressive interviews, instead of ones for rundown hospitals in Toledo. "What if my flight gets delayed?"

"Or even worse, what if you go in there looking like a hobo in a wrinkled ass suit?" Jackson asks, laughing as he grabs the bunched up jacket from the bar top. He folds it up nicely and quickly, putting it in his bag.

"Where'd you learn that?"

"I'm an Avery. We know these things."

"Hot." Briar laughs, waving the bartender over and ordering herself a Dirty Shirley and a water for Alex. "Don't glare at me, Alex. I'll buy you a drink when you nail this interview."

"Cheers."

"Hey!" Meredith comes around the corner. "So, I rescheduled my interview at Brigham, and I leave in an hour."

"Cheers to that." Cristina approves, and Briar leans over to hug Meredith, pleased for her.

"Jackson, we gotta go." April tells Jackson, who lets out an alarmed noise at the time. He plants a kiss on Briar, who leans into it for a second, and then the two of them are off for their interviews.

"Happy interviewing, losers." Jackson tells them.

"I should go, too." Alex dismisses himself.

"Don't leave." Meredith pouts.

"It's Yale. No way in hell am I missing that flight to hang out with you drunks."

"Alex, wait." Briar pulls him back, wrapping her arms around him. "Let them bring up the African Orphans thing, or you'll sound conceited. Talk about patients by name, and be to the point. Do not swear, and yes, saying 'freaking' counts. You've got this. I love you."

"Love you too." He kisses her on the cheek before leaving.

"Make me proud!" She shouts after him.

"Bartender?" Cristina asks. "Three tequilas, please."

"Oh, so it's intern year all over again." Briar laughs, shaking her head. That was her tequila year. Since then, she's happy to stick to vodka, although she doesn't protest the drink choice.

"You know . . . this wouldn't be a totally bad bar to hang out in if we miss our flights." Cristina notes. "Plenty of traveling salesmen to hit on."

"Well, our husbands and Jackson would never know." Meredith continues the joke.

"Cheers."

"Cheers."

"Well . . . free flight to New York." Cristina sighs as her flight is announced. "I'd say wish me luck, but I don't need it."

"Cristina." Meredith calls her back. "You really want to do this–leave?"

"We've been preparing for this for the past five years. Of course I want to leave. You should, too."

"Well, if you miss this place too much, you can always come visit me." Briar tells them both. "We can meet up here every few months."

"Deal." Cristina smiles at her before she's gone.

"You're really staying?" Meredith asks, and Briar nods.

"Yeah. I–I really love this place." She admits with a small smile, shrugging her shoulders. "You know me, I hate change. But you should go."

"Yeah." Meredith sighs, standing up when her flight to Boston is announced. "Wish me luck?"

"You're Meredith freakin' Grey. You don't need it."

Meredith laughs as she walks away, leaving Briar alone.

Get used to this feeling, Briar orders herself, flagging down the bartender again.

"Another shot of tequila, please."

✦

authors note

this episode makes me cry every time. the acting is phenomenal.

briar made a decision!!! she was back and forth a lot, but my girl really loves Seattle. her leaving Callie after she's the reason she picked ortho? not happening.

next episode is the boards... brb im freaking out.

im still snowed in and my job is shut down for the time being. not great for my wallet and my upcoming bills, but good for my ability to do nothing but write all day long. yay for you guys!!

love you guys so, so much <3