The boards are here.

After an entire year of studying and stressing, Briar is standing in front of a shuttle bus hired by the hospital to take them to the airport, so that they can fly out for their test. Or, in her case, tests. Plural. Multiple tests.

She hates her past self for signing up for this.

"Okay, remember what I taught you." Callie urges her, waiting outside with her and Owen. The two attendings have been giving her advice and encouraging her at the same time.

"Don't panic when you get in there." Owen tells her. "Be concise but not too much."

"Right." Briar gives them a smile, trying not to show how nervous they're making her. "I got it."

"Yeah, you do." Callie gives her a wide smile. "Give the doctor a firm handshake. Have you decided what you're going to wear? First impressions are important."

"They aren't grading you on your outfit." Owen dismisses that, shaking his head. "I mean, don't go in there looking rumpled, of course. But that's not the priority. Just answer everything proficiently and you'll be just fine."

"Thank you." Briar nods, taking a step back and pointing to the shuttle. "Uh, I really gotta—"

"Of course." Owen nods back, looking at April behind her and sighing when he sees her crying. "I really need to handle that. Briar, you've got this. I have no worries."

"Thanks!" She shouts after him as he moves to talk to April, turning back to Callie, who gives her a long look before nodding to herself.

"He's right, you've got this. I mean, you have me as a mentor and you have the Torres Method. You'll ace those tests." Callie pulls her into a hug, whispering the next part into her ear: "But if you fail one, don't let it be ortho."

Briar pushes her back, laughing lightly.

"Wow, thanks." She says dryly, pulling Callie in for another quick hug. "Thank you for everything."

"You can thank me by becoming a board certified surgeon." Callie winks at her, shoving her onto the bus. Briar feels her slip something into her pocket, not surprised to see that it was money as she's getting situated, saving the spot next to her for Alex.

In front of her, Cristina is saving a spot for Meredith.

It's nothing against April and Jackson—she loves them—but Briar is feeling sentimental and wants to spend this moment with the ones who started this journey with her. The ones that are left, that is. Thankfully, April and Jackson seem to feel the same way, sitting together in the front seat: April's pick. Briar and Cristina grabbed the seats in the back of the bus, seeing as they are the cool ones.

"Where's Alex?" April calls out to her when everyone else is situated on the bus. Briar makes a face, looking up from her phone, where she's been queuing up her favorite songs to listen to.

"How would I know? I'm not his keeper." She points out, while April huffs loudly and storms off of the bus to wait for him out there.

"She didn't ask about Meredith." Cristina points out, frowning as she looks out of the window, just as Alex and Meredith walk out of the hospital with their suitcases.

"23 minutes late?" April demands. "Not okay!"

"Is it too late to request a van without you on it?" Alex snaps, glowering at her as he steps onto the bus. He's quick to put his and Meredith's bags away, the two of them quickly getting in their seats.

Briar grins at Alex when he falls into the aisle seat she saved for him, handing him one of her earbuds to share her music. He accepts it with a grateful smile, laughing when she tilts her notebook to him, showing him a ready hangman board.

"Oh, you're so on." He challenges, causing Meredith and Cristina to turn around, their eyes lighting up at the sight of the game. They haven't played it in a while, but for years it was a staple during their quiet moments at work, and it only feels right to bring it back while they travel to the most important tests of their lives.

✦

Briar is immediately in love with San Francisco.

The weather is so much better than in Seattle. They're greeted with sunny weather when they land, and they take a cable car to the hotel, which Briar has never experienced before. She spends the entire trip looking back and forth, wanting to see everything she can.

She always forgets how much she loves traveling, never having been given much opportunity for it, but she really wants to start doing it more.

They arrive at the Presidio Presidential Suites, which has a banner welcoming The American Medical Board of Surgery. Jackson and April lead the way into the lobby, while the other four trail behind. The place is packed, with people traveling from all over the country to take their boards, and April quickly bumps straight into a guy.

"Woah!"

"Sorry!" She apologizes, smiling before she stops and faces him fully. "Oh, Case Western Reserve." She points to his hat. "Uh, do you know Ted Stevenson, head of trauma?"

"I do, yeah."

"He just offered me a job. I might be an attending there." April beams, clearly trying to make a friend, sticking her hand out for a handshake. "April Kepner, Seattle."

"Kevin Banks. I'm the guy whose job you took." He says, disappointment written all over his face. April's eyes widen, her hand slowly falling down. "I was waiting' to hear, but I guess I just heard. Thanks a lot."

"Well, he hates me." April scoffs, turning to where the others are watching her with amusement, settled in chairs in the lobby. Briar is in the one next to Jackson, so April moves to sit next to Alex, who laughs at her.

"How do you do that? You've been here, like, two minutes."

"My examiner is gonna hate me, too, instantly." April airs out her worries.

"Don't psych yourself out." Cristina tells her.

"One in five people fail the boards!"

"Fine. Psych yourself out."

"It's just a test." Jackson comforts. "We've all dealt with worse. No one's bleeding out on your table."

"Damn straight." Briar nods, her face buried in her phone.

"We will be fine."

"Cristina." Meredith pulls Cristina away. April follows them after a minute, trying to make plans, and Briar finally looks up from her phone when Meredith starts throwing up.

"Oh, gross." She wrinkles her nose at the noise and the smell, looking to Cristina for an explanation, who sighs.

"Zola has the stomach flu."

Briar instantly stands up, walking backwards with her eyes wide.

"Oh, hell no! Sofia had that last week and Callie tried passing her onto me. Stay back." She warns, because she's not risking her future by getting sick right now. Meredith flips her off, still retching.

"Zola has the stomach flu and you didn't say anything?" Jackson demands as soon as she's done puking.

"How could you?" April continues loudly. "Are—are you trying to sabotage us all?"

"It's not like it's the black plague." Meredith defends.

"I thought you were our friend!"

"Oh, April, calm down." Meredith scoffs, rolling her eyes.

"You stay right where you are, Typhoid Mary." Alex narrows his eyes at her, holding a hand out to keep her at a distance. "Come on, let's go register."

"I'll grab both of your registration packets." Briar offers to Meredith and Cristina, who nod as they go to sit down again. Thankfully, the lines are moving pretty quickly, and Briar is getting them signed in quickly.

"Dude, is that your mom?" Alex's voice has her looking over, seeing Catherine Avery in the lobby. She looks gorgeous as always, with a tasteful black dress on.

"Oh, no." Jackson sighs, watching her rush over to him.

"I know! I know you don't want to see your mother before the boards. But they are wearing this old girl out! Got me examining three sessions tomorrow, and I might not see you, so I had to say good luck." Catherine explains, stopping right in front of him with a smile. She gives him a kiss on his cheek, and he thanks her softly before she begins looking around, waving Briar over when they make eye contact.

"Hi, Catherine." Briar smiles when she's pulled into a quick hug. "You look beautiful!"

"Oh, thank you, dear." Catherine pats her cheek as she pulls away, smiling when Jackson reaches down to grab her hand and pull her into his side. "I wanted to wish you good luck as well."

"That's so sweet, thank you." Briar tells her, warmth filling her at the sentiment.

"Oh! And, Jackson, I have a gift for you." Catherine winks, reaching into her purse.

For some reason, Jackson doesn't like that, instantly protesting.

"Mnh-mnh. No, no, that's fine. You don't—" He tries, shaking his head, but Catherine ignores him.

"It's in here somewhere." She sighs, sifting through her bag while Briar watches with curiosity. She grabs the bag so that Catherine can use both hands in the search, getting a thankful smile from the woman and an annoyed one from Jackson. She just smirks at him, unbothered.

"Really, it's okay." Jackson insists, but Catherine shakes her head at him.

"That's what you always say, but you always want it in the end."

"Mom, I'm good. I am."

"I'm in room 809 when you change your mind." She assures him.

"Mommy bring you your binky?" Alex asks him mockingly.

"I don't know, I was thinking a baby blanket." Briar laughs, sharing an amused look with her best friend.

"It's my lucky pencil." Jackson admits, and Briar blinks. His what? "She brought my lucky pencil."

"You know this is an oral test, right?" Alex points out, and Briar giggles at the annoyed look Jackson sends them both.

"Yes, I know, okay? It's just . . . I used it for my S.A.T's, and my M.C.A.T's, and my intern exam."

"So it's your binky."

"It's . . . sort of like my binky, yeah." Jackson acknowledges.

"Cute." Briar snorts. "It sounds like you're gonna want to rush up to room 809."

Briar locates a bucket for Meredith, passing it over along with her and Cristina's paperwork. Alex is trying to call and check up on Morgan's baby, despite choosing to be taken off of that case. Briar leaves him to it, knowing better than to try and change his mind. That's Arizona's problem, not hers.

"Are we thinking studying together with room service?" April asks, getting general agreement. They all head in different directions, with Briar and Jackson heading to their hotel room. They'd paid extra to get a suite with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge, and Briar can't wait to see it, tugging Jackson along faster.

"Hey, so, counter offer." She says when they reach their room, only to immediately get distracted as they enter. There's something so thrilling about staying in hotels—maybe because, to her, that's always been a luxury. She spent a lot of years sleeping in her car. Jackson moves their suitcases aside, already unpacking their clothes and making sure that their outfits for tomorrow are hung up and unwrinkled.

Briar leaves him to that, since he has more experience, instead just walking over to the window and smiling at their view. It's stunning, and easily worth the extra few hundred dollars they had to shell out for it.

"Counter offer?" Jackson asks quietly just as he comes up behind her, his arms wrapping around her stomach. She leans back into him, smiling to herself.

"Well . . . I know we said that we'd go study with the others, but I think we need a break." She explains, setting her hand on top of his and rubbing their thumbs together. He hums behind her, not protesting the idea, and she's quick to explain more. "It's just that we've been doing nothing but studying and working for months now. I don't regret that, it's needed for our careers, but I miss going on dates with you."

"I miss it too." He agrees, kissing the top of her head. "So, what's your idea?"

"I did a bit of researching." Briar admits, feeling his body shake as he laughs and grinning to herself.

"Of course you did." He teases warmly, and she pinches his thumb before continuing to explain, her gaze still locked on the beautiful view in front of her.

"Shut up, you love it. There's a ton of stuff to do here, but I don't want to do anything too crazy before the boards. There's this place called Fisherman's Wharf that seems perfect: we can take a cable car there, and explore all the different shops and restaurants. Apparently, they're well known for food."

"That sounds perfect, as long as we take some time to study tonight." Jackson agrees, and Briar beams as she spins around in his arms, wrapping hers around his neck.

"Deal." She winks, pulling him down into a quick kiss, excitement coursing through her at the thought of going on a real date again.

✦

They take a cable car to Fisherman's Wharf, quickly deciding to spend time in Pier 39 when some locals tell them that there's more touristy things to do there. Briar has no shame about being a tourist, or acting like one: that's half of the fun in traveling. Of course, she'll gladly shop local as well, but she likes having a mixture of both activities.

There are a ton of sea lions everywhere, and Briar stops multiple times just to watch them go about their day, before becoming interested in a shop or smelling food and stopping. Jackson does the same, pulling her in different directions when something catches his eye.

Being on the bay is chilly, and Briar quickly finds herself shivering since she's wearing a baby blue maxi skirt and an old white crop top advertising Molly's Bar in Chicago. Jackson takes a picture of her standing with a sea lion, excitement lighting her face up, and she quickly sends it to Christopher Herrmann, one of the owners of Molly's with the message: free advertising in SF!!! I want a free round next time I'm in ;) and laughing to herself since she already knows the response will be a 'hell no'. Free is not in Herrmann's vocabulary.

Jackson pulls her into a cute little gift shop, and they make quick work of finding sweaters to pull on. They decide to do what they did at that basketball game last year, shopping for the other without them seeing the options. Jackson finds her a navy blue crewneck with 'San Francisco' written in rainbow letters, along with a rainbow trolley underneath and 'Pier 39' under that. Briar hunts around until she finds a navy blue hoodie with a sea lion on the front, light blue waves splashing onto the words 'Pier 39.'  They both laugh when they unveil the purchases, amused to have picked out the same color.

"Okay, I want to buy everything." Briar admits, pulling him out of the gift shop before she decides to turn back around.

"How about we walk around, eat, and then come back to shop?" Jackson suggests.

"Genius." Briar grins, grabbing his hand and swinging their arms between them as they walk, enjoying the noises of the bustling pier all around them. "Oh my god!"

"What?"

"Look." Briar points, starting to bounce on her feet with excitement. Jackson follows her finger, his eyes lighting up when they land on a GoCar station. They rush over there, seeing that they have one and two seaters, and quickly book a two seater for four hours. They have to show their drivers license's, and they're given helmets and a quick lesson about the scooter, before the little yellow car is all theirs.

"Want to alternate driving?" Jackson asks her, laughing while she climbs into the driver seat without hesitation, beaming.

"Sure!" She laughs, pausing before she starts it. "This is so cool! I've always wanted to drive something like this!"

"You never have?" Jackson asks, surprised. "Not even bumper cars as a kid?"

"Nope." She shrugs it off, not wanting to think about her childhood and ruin the happy energy. "I hope you're not encouraging me to run someone over."

"I mean, I think I know two doctors that can help if that happens." Jackson laughs as she starts driving them, going slow at first as she gets used to driving while so close to the ground. The GoCar adds a whole new element to sight-seeing, and they use the map they were given to navigate around the city, driving through beautiful parks on their way to the Golden Gate Bridge. They also find a retro themed photo op, stopping in to take silly pictures in the booth. Briar shoves her photo strip into the back of her phone case, not wanting to lose it, while his goes in the front of his wallet.

Briar's never been important enough to be the picture in someone's wallet before.

Once at the bridge, they park underneath it and walk along it, surprised to find that they don't have to pay to do so. They don't walk the full thing: they don't have the desire to walk over 2 miles, which would take at least an hour of their limited time, but they do find a good spot to look out on the water, completely mesmerized by it. Pictures get taken, both solo ones and silly couples ones, and Briar smiles the whole walk back to the GoCar, where Jackson rushes forward so that he can drive back.

Briar gives him the little win, delighted that this is her life: traveling with the man she loves, who understands her on a level that no one else ever has.

Some part of her wonders if this is what she gave up when choosing to stay in Seattle. Could they have picked the same place and discovered it together?

✦

They eat a ridiculous amount of food, stopping at every opportunity until they feel ready to burst.

Crepes from a cafe on the corner: s'mores for Briar, while Jackson experiments with the pizza one, and they steal bites of each others; fish tacos and French fries from Eagle Cafe; oysters at Fog Harbor Fish House; pretzels from a street vendor; $55 ciopinno from a fancier restaurant, where Jackson pulls out money that Mark had given him with a wink and they take a selfie too send him in thanks; and then they stop in at Boudin's, where they are so shocked they just stare at the display cases for about five minutes in complete awe.

They had been told about this place and its famous sourdough starter that's been kept alive since 1849, but she wasn't expecting animal shaped sourdough. There are turtles, crabs, fish, scorpions, teddy bears, and alligators. They're all insanely accurate, and Briar is obsessed, pulling out her phone and taking probably a hundred pictures of it all.

"I'm kind of wishing that I accepted the interview from USCF." Briar breathes, looking around the bakery. "Meredith did not tell me how cool SF is."

"This is insane." Jackson laughs. "We have to bring something back for the others."

"Let's get the alligator." Briar points to it, shaking her head in disbelief. "Literally how is that only $20?"

"It's such a steal." Jackson agrees, pulling out his wallet and buying it, laughing as he grabs the bag from the cashier, thanking him. "This place is crazy. We need to come back when we're not pressed for time."

They walk out into the street, and Briar bites her lip before deciding to speak up.

"Yeah, uh, maybe . . . we see how the boards go, and where you end up working, and we pick a new city to travel to every year." She suggests, her heart racing. She really wants Jackson to agree to that. She doesn't really think that he won't, but some part of her is still worried that distance might be too much for them.

"Sounds perfect." Jackson agrees, smiling softly at her before kissing her, and Briar relaxes into it. "I'm still not completely decided, and I know that's stressful for both of us, but . . . whatever I pick, I'm still all in on this relationship. I'll do anything I have to in order to keep us together."

"Me too." Briar agrees, smiling up at him. "I don't want you to ever question that."

"I won't." He promises, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and leading her back to their GoCar, so that they can head back to their hotel.

"We'll make it work."

✦

Briar may have gone a little overboard with shopping, but Jackson did the same, so she refuses to feel ashamed over it. They throw all of their bags on their bed when they reach the hotel, sharing a sheepish look at just how much stuff they ended up with.

"We're going to need another suitcase." Briar laughs, thinking about the flight back.

"Or two." Jackson snorts, starting to unpack everything.

They bought matching fog globes of the Golden Gate Bridge, thinking that them doing fog globes instead of snow ones is more personal and hilarious. Briar couldn't resist a magnet of The Presidio—the hotel they are staying at—wanting a reminder of getting to the boards, even though she hasn't passed yet. Jackson refused to buy one, claiming that it was tempting fate before their tests. He came up with the idea of printing the picture of them kissing on the bridge and putting it in matching silver and copper bridge themed picture frames, which he picked out. Briar snagged the last ornament of sea lions at Pier 39, shoving it in Jackson's face and bragging while she makes up a happy dance. Briar buys Alex a magnet of a guy escaping Alcatraz, finding herself hilarious.

Briar's wallet must've started weeping when she ventured into the kids section. She bought her and Sofia matching blue 'I <3 SF' hats with the bridge on it, except she felt bad only getting her goddaughter something, and grabbed one for Zola. Then she felt bad for Meredith, sick at the hotel, and grabbed an adult one for her. After that, she saw a matching game with San Francisco landmarks, and a stuffed sea lion with a baby, and a cable car toy.

If she thinks about how much money she's spent this weekend, she'll cry. The thing about the boards? They're not paid for by the hospitals they work for. Not only do they have to pay for travel expenses, and hotel rooms, but they have to pay to apply for the test, the CBT exam, and then the oral board examination. Briar is the idiot that decided to try for dual-certification, meaning that she paid for all of that twice. She paid $3890 for trauma and $3750 for orthopedics, totaling up to $7640 altogether.

If she fails, she might just die.

✦

"Where have you guys been?" April demands, glaring at them when they knock on her door. She's clearly been crying, since her eyes are puffy and her face looks recently washed. "We've been studying for hours!"

"We went out." Briar shrugs, pushing past her and sitting with Cristina. "We brought you a gift though. Check this out."

Jackson holds up the alligator bread, laughing when April and Cristina rush to look closer at it.

"Insane, right?" He brags, while Briar looks around the room with a frown.

"Wait, where's Alex?" She questions, since he should be here. Meredith is in her room, quarantined away from them, but Alex should be studying with them.

"He called Robbins and said he was going back to Seattle." Cristina tells her with a loaded look, and Briar freezes.

"WHAT?"

"He hasn't been answering my calls." Cristina sighs, but Briar ignores her, rushing to do just that. She paces around the room as her phone rings, swearing when she gets his voicemail seven tries in a row.

"Alexander Michael Karev, if you don't get your stupid ass back here tonight, I swear I will castrate you when I see you next!" She shouts into the phone, ignoring the way April backs away from her, her eyes wide. Cristina just laughs. "This is the most important test of our lives, and you're just throwing it away, and for what!? What could be so important that you're—you're just saying 'fuck you' to everything we overcame to get to this point? Alex, look, just—call me back. As soon as you see this."

"I'm going to fucking kill him." She groans, dropping down to the bed and putting her head in her hands. "I was so calm, and now I want to scream. Fucking Alex."

She's not expecting Cristina to grab her hand and yank her off the bed, but she follows her without question.

"Where are you guys going?" April asks them hysterically, but Cristina doesn't answer, shoving the door shut behind them.

"We can't fix Alex, but we can fix Meredith." Cristina tells her, and Briar is instantly on board with whatever her plan is. She's still anxious about Alex, but Cristina is right: with him gone and not answering her calls, what can she do for him? Hopefully, he'll make the best decision for himself in the end.

"Lead the way."

✦

Cristina has the room connecting to Meredith's, which they walk through to knock on Meredith's door, all bundled up. Briar put on one of the sweatshirts she bought during her excursion, not wanting any skin to be showing with the paranoid thought that it would make her catch Meredith's illness, and a mask, as well as gloves. Cristina is also wearing a mask and gloves, holding the items for an IV while Briar has crackers, gatorade, and another bucket.

"Nice." Meredith approves, looking them up and down as soon as she's unlocked the door.

"We don't take chances." Cristina leads them into Meredith's room, while Briar gently pushes Meredith back to her unmade bed.

"My kid just hung up on me." She pouts at them, still holding her phone, and Briar laughs softly.

"Yeah, that'll happen again." Cristina states, prepping the IV while Briar sits down next to Meredith, prepping her arm with an alcohol pad.

"Where did you get an IV and fluids?" She questions hoarsely.

"We're doctors, in a hotel full of doctor's." Cristina points out.

"Alright, if you've got it covered, I'm out." Briar jumps up, not wanting to remain in the germ filled room for a second longer than necessary.

"You suck!" Meredith shouts after her.

"Love you too!" Briar shouts. "We'll make sure you're up before the boards!"

✦

Briar is in the elevator, going back down to April's floor, leaning with her back against the wall and taking the time to think. She can't believe how much her life has changed in five years.

When she came to Seattle, she was living in her car, again. She'd just gotten divorced from Kelly, turning down his offer of paying her alimony. She'd saved up some money, and she technically could've gotten a motel room, but she'd been determined to spend as little as possible. Meredith had helped with that, letting her, George, and Izzie move in during their intern year. Alex had followed soon after that.

She can't help but smile thinking about that first year in Seattle.

She'd had a small friendship with Alex, having bonded with him during the intern's mixer, while the rest of the group hated him. She'd liked him from the start, calling him out whenever he said something awful, but enjoying the challenge that he presented her. They'd spent so many sleepless nights trying to figure out what their lives would look like by the time they became attendings, but for all of those conversations, Briar never thought hers would turn out so perfectly.

She works with friends so closely knit that they're more of a family, the way she always yearned for while observing Kelly with his work family. She has a beautiful goddaughter that she can spoil rotten. She has an amazing man, and for the first time in her life, she's in a passionate, loving relationship.

As if she summoned him with her thoughts, Jackson is waiting on the other side when the elevator doors slide open.

For a second he looks surprised, and she laughs at the look on his face right before he's surging into the elevator and kissing her with so much passion she doesn't know where to put it all. His hands come up to frame her face, tilting her head so that he can get the perfect angle while her arms wrap around his neck. She feels her knees going weak, and isn't that something? No one before him had ever given her that feeling before.

"What's this for?" She breathes out when they separate, although he doesn't move far. She can feel his breath ghosting over her eyelashes, his face is so close to hers, and it makes her shiver.

"You drive me insane." He whispers back, pulling her into another deep kiss. Briar has to remind herself that she can breathe through her nose, because her entire body wants to do nothing else but sink into him. He pulls back to finish explaining, smirking when she lets out a desperate noise of disapproval. "April was crying and—and reading off all of these questions so that we could study, and all I could think about was you. You've changed my entire life and—"

He gets cut off by the doors sliding open again, an annoyed woman on the other side, and Briar sniffles a laugh in his neck when Jackson simply hits the button to slide the doors shut in her face. He then pushes the button for their floor, laughing himself.

"Did you see her face?" She giggles, shaking her head. Her laughter is cut off by his lips once more, and he licks into her mouth as if he wants to taste her happiness, desperate for it. She's the one that pulls away, having to do so three times before he relents and lets her separate their lips, frowning at her as if she's committed a crime.

"We're on our floor." She explains, interlocking their hands and pulling him out of the elevator, feeling giddy when he moves closer to her as they rush to their door. Her lips are tingling, but she fights the urge to touch them, not wanting to stroke Jackson's ego too much.

He presses her up to the door when they get there, stealing the key card from her hand but kissing her instead of opening it. Briar sinks into it, her hands pressed to his chest, until a slamming door makes her jump and headbutt him. He leans back, his hand coming up to his forehead with a grimace, and their surprised looks quickly turn into more laughter.

After that, he actually makes use of their key, pushing her through the door and kicking it shut behind him. He can't keep his hands off of her, quickly grabbing her waist and pushing her down onto the bed, following immediately after and hovering over her.

"So . . . I changed your life, did I?" She asks with a smirk, kicking her shoes off while simultaneously stripping him of his hoodie. It's the one she picked out for him earlier that day, and a surge of affection has her pushing up and kissing him until she remembers her question and pulls back so that he can answer. "Hmm?"

He blinks at her, looking confused for a second before his face clears, and he blushes slightly even as he distracts himself with stripping her own sweatshirt off, leaving her in her maxi skirt and the Molly's Bar t-shirt.

"'Course you did." He murmurs, slowly pulling her shirt over her head and then leaning back to slide her skirt off, followed by his own jeans. He carelessly kicks those off, not as careful with himself, before he's running his hands over her reverently.

The change of pace has her reeling, but she's not upset about it at all. Whether they're being quick and messy, or slow and careful, they never lose their passion.

"You changed mine." She assures him, wanting to know that everything is reciprocated. "I never thought I would have a relationship like this."

"Not even with Kelly?" He asks her, and she pauses, looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. She relaxes when she sees only genuine curiosity, no jealousy or anything negative. They've discussed her relationship with Kelly before, the when's and the how's and the why's, but she'll happily go over it again if that's what he needs.

"We were both grieving and we just . . . fell into each other." She admits, because that's what it was. Kelly was grieving his best friend, and while Briar wasn't grieving an actual death, she was grieving the loss of her relationship with her brother. "We healed each other, in a way. But we were more friends than anything else."

"Do you sleep with all of your friends?" He jokes, grinning at her.

"Hmm." She pauses, pretending to contemplate it and laughing when he pinches her side, pouting at her. "No. Only Mark."

His head was next to her arm when she said that, since he'd shifted down to unhook her bra, and Briar shakes with the force of her laughter when he nips at her, clearly not happy about having Mark thrown into the conversation.

"Clearly I'm not doing my job right if you're talking about having sex with other men." He huffs, his eyes shining with amusement. That might just be her favorite part of having sex with him: neither of them take it too seriously. They compete, and they joke around, and they stay themselves even in the most heated moments. It's what makes her feel safe every time, because there's never a second to doubt how much he cares about and respects her.

"Maybe you should shut me up, then." She shrugs, smirking devilishly at him.

"Maybe I should."

✦

Afterwards, both of their chests heaving, Briar can't help but bring it up.

"You seemed . . . really passionate." She tells him, struggling to find words. He laughs from next to her, rolling onto his side and grabbing her hand in his.

"Ouch. Am I not normally passionate?"

"Shut up. I just mean, like, when you jumped on me in the elevator. I'd only been gone for 30 minutes max." She points out, confused about what had changed with him. "I mean, I'm not complaining, but did something happen?"

"I was thinking about what you said, outside of that bakery? About making time to see each other, depending on where I end up, and . . . I don't want to have to put you in my calendar."

His words don't connect with Briar, who just stares back, feeling lost. In her defense, her brain hasn't fully turned back on yet.

Jackson snorts quietly, the hand not holding hers coming up to run through her hair, getting snagged in her curls. She doesn't want to imagine how messed up they are now.

"I've been thinking about my mom, and my grandfather, and my family's reputation." Jackson tells her what she already knows, but she listens carefully. "I haven't stopped to think about what I want. And the answer to that is simple: I want to continue working with Mark—"

"Plastics Posse." Briar whispers, grinning to herself.

"Exactly. Plastics Posse." He nods proudly. "I think there's a lot I can still learn from him, so why would I go complete my fellowship with someone else?"

Briar feels like she's going to combust. Is he saying what she thinks he's saying?

"And, you know, Meredith's place is so cheap. Why give up good rent?"

He smirks at her, and Briar narrows her eyes, knowing that he's dragging this out.

"Jackson."

"Yes, baby?"

"If you're messing with me, I swear to god—" She starts, and his face instantly softens as he shakes his head.

"I'm staying in Seattle." He says, and Briar shuts her eyes in relief, sinking into the bed. "I told Mark right before I came to find you. I mean, how could I turn down staying with my beautiful girlfriend? You . . . you made me fall in love with life again. For a while, I was becoming a surgeon just because it's what I'm supposed to do, until you came into my life with your sharp words and your constant competitions, and you encouraged me to go into plastics even though my mom didn't respect it. If you told me a year ago that I'd spend the day before my boards doing anything but studying, I'd think I'd lost my mind. But you're so encouraging and full of life, and you share some of that with me. I'll lose that if I go to a different hospital. It's not even a close decision."

"I love you." She blurts out, her eyes watering. They've never properly said it before, but she needs him to know. "Jackson, I love you so much."

"I love you too." He whispers, his eyes shining as he pulls her into a hug, holding on tight. "Of course I love you."

"We're going to make the boards our bitch." She mumbles into his chest, feeling him shake as he laughs.

"Hell yeah we are!"

She can't stop smiling, even as they go for round two, which somehow feels even more passionate after they've exchanged those three little words for the first time. Jackson is staying with her, and after the boards they'll both be attendings together, and the future finally isn't terrifying.

Everything is falling into place.

✦

authors note

they're so happy 😃😃😃 i hope nothing happens that changes that 😃😃😃

poor april is the only one studying and she thinks they're all crazy. but jackson and briar got to go on a date for like the third time in their relationship (oops!!) i love them so much.

next episode is the actual boards so. what do we think briar's results will be?  anything you want to see?

i'm back to work next week so updates might slow down a little bit, but im very excited for the next few chapters so i will do my very best to get them out quickly!!

love you all <3