"Here you go, dickwad." Briar sighs out, handing Alex the coffee she bought him. He drains it in one go while Briar watches him with raised eyebrows, her annoyance fading when she sees how tired he is.

"I tried waking you." He tells her when he's done drinking, leaning into her side. She just hums.

"Not hard enough. Whatever, I'm over it. How's the baby?"

"Well, she had a stroke and some complications, but she's in the NICU. I'll keep checking on her." Alex runs his hand down his face, and Briar watches him with sympathy. She knows how hard pediatric cases are, and she knows how caring and dedicated he gets with his patients. He's going to have a rough day.

"If you need anything, page me." She tells him firmly, waiting to walk away until she gets a nod from him, squeezing his arm as she leaves.

She walks with Cristina, who is completely silent for once, to find Arizona. She's once again on her service: she's been on peds more lately, which she's happy about, seeing as she thinks it might just become her specialty. It's more draining than any other service, but it has its perks too.

They're joined by Callie, Hunt, Avery, and Weasley, and Briar already knows this isn't going to be as fun as when it's just her. She really wishes Alex was there, but he's back to checking in on the baby and her mother, so Briar really can't be upset at his absence.

"Okay, I know this is the first time on a peds rotation for some of you–not for others." Cristina looks away at the look she receives from Arizona, Briar snorting as she remembers the chaos that was Cristina Yang in peds. Maybe she was wrong before; this could be fun.

"I wanted you to understand that I run my peds unit a little differently than you may be used to." Arizona starts her speech, Briar smiling to herself. It doesn't matter how many times she hears it, it still hasn't gotten old. "This is not general surgery in miniature. These are the tiny humans. These are children. They believe in magic, they play pretend. There is fairy dust in their I.V. bags. They hope and they cross their fingers and they make wishes and that makes them more resilient than adults. They recover faster, survive worse. They believe. In peds, we have miracles and magic. In peds, anything is possible."

When she finishes, it's with a smile on her face, and Briar beams back at her. Arizona is the reason for her interest in peds, and she doesn't care what anyone has to say: it's the most hardcore service.

Cristina is the first one in the door behind Arizona, making them laugh as she mimes gagging.

"Never change, Cristina Yang." Briar whispers to herself, getting a smile out of Hunt. She smiles back, although it grows when she enters the room to see Wallace on rounds with them, shoving her way to the front. Weasley huffs when she elbows him out of the way, and Avery rolls his eyes at her even as he steps to the side before she can make him.

"Morning, Dr. Robbins. Dr. Sinclair." He adds her name once she's at the front, Briar grinning back at him. She scans the bed he's next to, seeing that it's a patient she doesn't know.

"Good morning Dr. Wallace," She and Arizona respond, Briar watching in amusement as the other resident's give each other looks. Cristina seems to be the most shocked. Arizona continues talking, a perfect show of professionalism. "I see that you've already introduced yourself to Mr. and Mrs. Boyd."

The girl's parents smile over at them from beside her bed, Briar giving them a nod. They seem delighted with Wallace, which Briar understands all too well.

"Yes, reminds me of Hillary at that age." Mrs. Boyd answers with a grin, "Such an overachiever."

Hillary certainly is an overachiever, judging by the amount of bones she's broken. Briar is impressed.

"Dr. Yang, why don't you present?" Callie asks, although they all know it's not a request, but an order. Briar bites back a laugh. This is going to be good.

Cristina slowly walks to stand next to Wallace, clearing her throat when he doesn't step away from the bed. Briar shares an amused look with Hunt while Callie smiles to herself.

"Excuse me, little. . . doctor boy." She says slowly, grimacing at Wallace. Briar is pretty sure that was supposed to be a smile, and has to hide her laugh with a cough. Cristina glares at her, seeing right through it, and Briar gives her a subtle thumbs up.

"Uh, Hillary Boyd, 15 years old, fell off the roof of her house." Cristina reports briskly, Briar biting back a wince. Been there, done that, but with way less injuries. "52 acute fractures were diagnosed when she was admitted last night."

That last part is said with a tinge of bitterness, and Briar can't help but side-eye Hunt. Someone's in the dog house. At least Briar isn't the only one who was left alone last night: honestly, how hard is it to shove someone out of bed and bring them to a hospital? No one likes missing out on good patients.

"An intricate and extremely challenging O.R.I.F. surgery was performed by Dr. Torres and Dr. Hunt this morning before rounds."

"Thank you, Dr. Yang." Hunt says, an amused look in his eyes. Briar wonders if he has enough blankets for his doghouse. She wouldn't be surprised if Cristina steals them all before exiling him.

Callie speaks up next: "If she fares well enough today, I'd like to go in tomorrow and repair her subtrochanteric fracture next."

"Can anyone tell me the proper dosage of ceftriaxone for a pediatric patient?" Arizona questions, Avery speaking up instantly.

"50 milligrams per kilogram per day."

"Mm-hmm." Arizona agrees, before turning to Briar's favorite doctor. "Dr. Wallace, can you tell me the proper dose for this patient if she were 42 kilograms?"

For a few seconds the only sound in the room is Wallace's pencil scratching, Cristina slowly looking over his shoulder.

"Cheater, cheater." Briar tuts quietly, getting an amused tilt of the lips from Arizona. Avery chuckles from behind her.

"2.1 grams per day. . . if you carry the decimal." He answers, Arizona and Briar both giving him a proud smile as the others murmur, clearly surprised by him. He leads them out of the room after they assure Hillary's parents that they'll keep an eye on her, Callie and Hunt staying to answer any questions they might have without them all standing around.

Briar smiles sadly as they get to his room next. She loves how he's made it his own but she hates that he had to do that in a hospital. Still, she knows that home is what you make of it, and she loves that she's been given the chance to know him.

"Okay, who's presenting?" Arizona asks while Wallace climbs onto his bed, Briar fighting the urge to help him. He's perfectly capable of doing it on his own. She sees the shock on the others' faces as they see him go from doctor to patient in just a few seconds.

"I am, Dr. Robbins." Wallace decides while the rest of them crowd around his bed, Briar ending up on his left side.

"Proceed."

"Wallace Anderson, 10 years old–almost 11–been here for 7 months. In and out over the past two years. Suffers from short gut syndrome, which means he can't properly absorb nutrition."

"Exactly. Dr. Percy?" Arizona gestures to Weasley to continue the report, while Briar tries not to check out. She knows all of this, but the last thing she wants to do is appear uninterested. Arizona will call her on that instantly, and she refuses for that to happen, especially not in front of the Mercy Wester's.

"Uh, 15 intestinal surgeries to date, plus a bowel lengthening procedure, which helped for a while, but recently he's had to go back to being fed through T.P.N." Weasley responds, sounding slightly uncomfortable as he looks at Wallace. Cristina and Avery look uncomfortable too, and there's a small frown on Avery's face as he scans the room.

Briar understands why: she's as scalpel hungry as any other surgeon. It can be easy to forget that they're operating on human beings, but it's impossible to forget when you're staring at a bright, intelligent child. No one likes to think about children being hospitalized, especially for as long as Wallace has been.

"Yum," Wallace interrupts, reaching over to shake his nutrient bag. Briar laughs, Arizona smiles, but the other resident's still seem too upset to react to the joke.

"How'd he do this morning?" Bethany questions as she enters the room, putting her hand on Arizona's back as she walks behind her, announcing her presence. Briar gives her a smile, getting one in return as she steps to the side so that Bethany can take her place next to her son.

"We covered some pretty advanced algebraic conversions." Arizona reports.

"Dr. Robbins helps me with my math and science homework. Dr. Sinclair is really good at history, but I can't learn that through rounds." Wallace explains to the doctors unfamiliar with his routine.

"Fascinating." Cristina whispers sarcastically, getting a smile from Avery, while Briar rolls her eyes at both.

"We try to keep his life as normal as we can, even living in a hospital." Paul explains further as he stands to be by his wife, Briar giving him a nod as she crosses to stand next to Arizona, while Lexie rushes into the room to stand behind Jackson.

"But I can skip my homework on Friday, right? Since it's my birthday?" Wallace asks hopefully, and Briar has to look away as she feels her eyes start to water. She coughs into her elbow, discreetly wiping away any evidence of tears, and Arizona gives her a soft hip nudge. Their way of saying they understand but to get it together.

She's normally so good at keeping her emotions under control while in the ward, especially inside the patients rooms, but there are moments when it hits her that they're just kids. Right now, with Wallace desperate to escape homework, and his earlier almost 11 comment, it's hitting harder than ever.

"Since it's your birthday." Bethany agrees seriously, which makes Briar smile again, hoping it isn't as wobbly as it feels.

"What about Dr. Robbins? Since it's her birthday too." Wallace questions, the innocence of the question warming her up, a sentiment clearly felt by his parents as well. Arizona's smile becomes a little fixed at the mention of her birthday, and Briar makes a mental note to remember to buy him a birthday present before Friday.

"I'm afraid I can't skip my homework, Wallace, but I can come celebrate with you like I promised." Arizona assures him, making everyone in the room smile. Briar wonders if the others feel what she does watching Arizona engage with her patients, like anything is possible. She imagines they have to.

"Dr. Robbins," Paul calls as they go to leave, Arizona hanging back to talk to him while the rest of them leave.

Briar takes the opportunity to turn to her coworkers, gesturing for them to get closer.
"Alright, listen up, you guys need to work on your poker faces. If a kid makes a joke, at least smile." She hisses at them, because the last thing any of these kids need is to feel bad about themselves. She looks around at them all before deciding against saying anything else, walking to the next room in their rotation.

"Says the girl who was crying in there." Cristina mumbles to Lexie, Briar discreetly flipping her off behind her back. The last thing she needs is a parent, or a kid, seeing her doing that.

✦

The next morning she walks in with Alex, heckling him as they do, only to get interrupted by the Chief as soon as they get through the doors.

"Karev!" He greets, Briar wondering if she's invisible. She moves over to the coffee cart, snagging a croissant and passing over the change, watching in amusement as Derek interrupts the Chief.

"Morning, Chief." He greets with a smile, walking over to join the two men and being completely ignored by Webber.

"Uh, when you're free, come find me." He orders Alex before hightailing it away from Derek.

"Ooh, someone's in troubleeee," Briar sings, joining Alex and Derek as they walk further into the hospital. Alex hits her and steals her croissant, ignoring her complaint in favor of shoving it in his mouth before she can get it back.

"What's that all about?" Alex asks with his mouth full, Briar moving to be next to Derek to avoid being in crumb range.

"Oh, he fired me, and I refuse to be fired." Derek explains, while Briar eyes his coffee. "So I say hello to him every morning, and he says not a word."

"Sounds familiar." Alex commiserates, making Derek focus on him.

"You haven't heard from Stevens?"

"Not a word."

"You should form a club." Briar interjects, rolling her eyes at the looks she receives. "Jeez, tough crowd. Derek, is that your super fancy coffee order? Caramel whatever?"

"Caramel breve, yes." Derek answers with a long suffering sigh, and Briar gives him a smirk as she snatches it out of his hands, sighing into the first sip. She loves caramel. She loves coffee. This is heaven. "It's not enough for you to steal from me at home, you have to do it at work too?"

"You don't have a job here, go buy a new one!" She tells him over her shoulder, rolling her eyes when they go back to discussing Izzie, who isn't Briar's favorite topic at the moment.

"Hey!" Briar smiles at Arizona as soon as she sees her, rubbing hand sanitiser into her hands. She's extra cautious about spreading germs when in the peds ward. "Has our favorite doc started his rounds yet?"

"He had a bad night." Arizona sighs, slumping into a chair at the nurses station. Briar frowns, hating the idea of him suffering at all. "Dr. Percy is running his chemistries, just to be sure. We'll have answers soon."

"Okay," Briar breathes out, desperately hoping that this isn't a sign of something more serious. She takes a deep breath, catching the eye of a mom across the hall, automatically putting a smile on her face. As much as she would love to spend her time with Wallace, she does have other patients to see, so she pats Arizona on the shoulder and moves on to finish her own rounds.

She ends up in Hillary's room with Cristina and Avery, all three of them checking her over, much to her frustration.

"A nurse just checked that," She rasps out when Cristina starts examining her hip, Briar swallowing down her amusement. She understands Hillary's annoyance at constantly being poked at, but Cristina is the worst one to get a temper with.

"Yeah, a nurse checked it, I'm gonna check it, and three other people in the O.R. are gonna check it. We're thorough." Cristina says, shooting a long-suffering look to Briar and Avery, both of them clearly entertained by her.

"Honey, please let them do their jobs." She hears just as her pager beeps, taking a step back from Hillary as she reads it. Her face falls the second she reads NICU 911, taking off without a word.

When she arrives, Alex is the only one in there. The nurse that paged her gives her a rundown before she goes in: the baby is bradying down, Alex is putting her on CPAP. Dr. Robbins had to leave to help another patient, so Alex is by himself.

She doesn't waste time asking Alex how to help, instead jumping into the fray as he wordlessly hands her tools. The two of them have been friends for so long that they often don't need to discuss ideas out loud, knowing what the other will do before they do it.

"Wallace has a bowel obstruction." Alex informs her while they work, and while it makes her heart drop, she can't afford to take her focus off of this baby.

"Thanks." Is all she responds with, because she is grateful to him for informing her. It's not the news she wanted to hear, but that's part of working in a hospital.

"When's your shift over?" She asks Alex a little while later, watching the monitors while Alex does compressions. They've pushed epi, but her heart rate is in the 60's despite their best efforts. She gives Alex as much space as she can while trying to keep his mind occupied.

She's impressed by him. She's been helping, but he's been the one making the calls, since he's been on her case since she was brought in. Briar doesn't have much hope for the baby making it through this, and it sounds like her mom is also in rough shape, but if she does, it'll be because of Alex.

"Could I help?" A voice calls out, Briar giving Alex a look as Pixie Cut makes her way over to them.

"Doubt it. At this rate, this kid's not gonna last more than an hour." Alex responds, his tone making him appear dispassionate to anyone who doesn't know him. "She's only 30 weeks. Pretty young to survive."

"So what, you're just gonna stand there and watch her die?" Pixie Cut asks, and Briar scoffs.

"Just stand there? Do you need an eye exam? He's clearly doing compressions, so how about you back the fuck off and let us do our jobs?" She snaps, the stress of the day finally getting released even slightly. She's only just started her shift and she's already so done with everyone around her.

"Do you always insert yourself into people's conversations?" Pixie Cut shoots back, Briar rolling her eyes at that.

Alex ignores them both, reaching over to silence the machine.

"Beeping drives me nuts."

Great addition to the conversation, Alex.

"Look, I mean–" Pixie Cut stumbles over her words, staring at Alex, while Briar raises her eyebrows. This crush is honestly embarrassing to witness.

"The kids gonna die," Alex snaps, cutting her off. He turns to face her head on, her face falling at his words. "Deal with it or get out."

Alex shakes his head when she purses her lips and leaves without another word, Briar nodding to herself. Maybe they're harsh to her, but they don't have time to hold her hand through the process. Not when a baby is dying in front of them.

"I get out an hour after you." Alex says suddenly, Briar taking a moment to process his words before she remembers her earlier question.

"Cool. Want to get a drink? It's on me."

"I'll never say no to that."

They stand there in silence for a moment, both staring down at the struggling baby. She's so small. She has to look away for a minute to gather herself, looking back when she hears Alex sigh, followed by ruffling.

"Hey there girl. I got ya. Yeah," He breathes out, his voice lifting the way everyone's voices do when speaking to babies. Briar smiles softly at the sight of him holding her out of the machine. "It's okay. You're not alone. No, you're not. You're not alone."

Smiling softly, Briar squeezes his shoulders for a moment before leaving the two of them alone. There's nothing more she can do, and Alex has this.

✦

"You know that there's nothing romantic with Alex and I, right?" Briar asks into the phone, making Meredith burst out laughing. Briar smiles at the sound as she tries to decide what she wants from the vending machine, eventually deciding on a KitKat for her and chips for Alex. She puts her money in and makes the selections before Meredith has calmed down.

"Yeah, of course. He's your person." She agrees, hiccuping in between her words.

"Yeah, exactly. The thought of anything romantic happening makes me want to hurl."
"But. . ." Meredith eggs her on, knowing that she called for a reason.

"But." Briar sighs out, giving the hall a quick look to make sure no one is around to overhear her conversation. "But I saw him cooing at a baby in the NICU and I think my ovaries exploded. Stop laughing! Mer!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Meredith cries out, still laughing, and definitely not sorry at all. "Sorry, this is hilarious. Do you have a picture?"

"No." Briar sighs, honestly wishing she did. "No, but he did really well there, Mer. I actually think he would be really good in peds."

"You say that because you want to be the. . . what did you call it again? Oh, right, the pediatric package!"

"Uh, yeah, the name's awesome." Briar huffs, not actually upset, stepping to the side when Avery comes down the hall. She watches as he scans the vending machine, clearly not sure what he wants. She's not happy about his presence in her hospital, but she can't deny that the man is attractive. "But, seriously, I hope he thinks about it."

"Have you ever brought it up to him?"

"Nah," Briar sighs, taking a bite of her chocolate bar and humming to herself. "I want it to be his idea, you know? Anyway, I just had to talk it out with someone. Do not repeat it to anyone, Meredith Grey, or I will ruin your life. Oh, and I'll bring home Italian tonight. Love you!"

"Love y–" She hears, but she's already hung up, moving next to Avery to buy two bottles of water.

"So that was the infamous Meredith Grey." He says as a greeting, Briar raising her eyebrow at him when he turns to face her for a moment.

"You mean, the woman on the phone you didn't talk to? Yeah. That's Mer."

"Does she just not work here anymore or. . .?" Avery trails off, clearly fishing for information.

"What, worried about your competition? She's gonna blow you out of the water once she's back." Briar says, pointedly not saying anything about when that'll be, or why she isn't here.

"Hmm, sure." Avery says, giving her a condescending smile. Briar rolls her eyes as she jabs at the buttons to buy her water, wanting away from him as soon as possible. She's tired of the Mercy West residents thinking that they're better than they are.

"Oh, you missed a great moment with Hillary and her parents!" Avery exclaims just as she's turning away from him, Alex's water bottle tucked under her arm, the other getting uncapped. "She was shrooming when she fell off the roof! Can you believe that?"

Briar turns to face him, seeing the amusement in his eyes, and tilts her head to the side.

"Honestly, yeah." She says, because she's long learned to not underestimate the power of drugs. She's sure that going on the roof seemed like a perfectly logical idea to a teenager on mushrooms, and that's a hard lesson to learn. "How'd her parents react?"

"Oh, it was hilarious. They called her a disappointment but didn't get another word in before she went on a rant about how she was the textbook definition of a perfect child. Yang seemed particularly impressed."

Briar hums, once again moving to leave, but it's like Avery can't stop talking. The words almost seem to burst out of him, and she can see how jittery he is in the way his leg is bouncing.

"You missed one hell of an operation, too. It was crazy. Yang was insane! She–"

"Of course she was." Briar laughs, cutting him off before he can detail the surgery. As interested as she is, she really wants to go back and check on the baby and Alex. He's going to take the loss hard. "Well, thanks for the pick-me-up. See you around, Avery."

"Uh, yeah. You too, Sinclair."

✦

"Where are you headed?" Briar asks Derek when they cross paths in the hall, sighing when he steals the last of her chocolate, smirking at her as he makes a show of savoring it. Payback's a bitch.

"NICU."

"Same." She sighs, taking another swig of water. "How's the mom?"

"Touch and go. Have you seen the baby?"
"Yeah, Alex is–woah."

Both her and Derek freeze in the entryway to the NICU, their heads tilting as their eyes widen at the sight in front of them. If she had baby fever earlier, it has nothing on the sight of a shirtless Alex cradling the baby to his chest. Did she mention that he's shirtless?

It's nothing that she hasn't seen before, but she'll be the first one to tell everyone that Alex is handsome. She's always trying to set him up for a reason: he's a total catch.

"Karev, what are you doing?" Derek asks incredulously, while Briar slowly reaches into her pocket for her phone. She needs all the pictures.

"Saving a baby's life, that's what." Bailey answers as if it's obvious, making Alex smile. It's his closed mouthed smile, the one he makes when he's a little uncomfortable and a little proud at the same time.

It drops when he sees Briar taking pictures, but she's too busy looking through them, cheering when she sees two good ones. Yeah, those are getting framed.

"Dr. Bailey, I–" Pixie Cut walks in with her eyes on her charts, although when she looks up a second later it's as if her entire body jumpstarts. "Oh, no shirt!"

Oh, she can't wait to tell Meredith about this later.

"He's wearing no shirt." She says at the same time as Derek turns back to Alex and innocently asks if he's started to lactate yet.

That's the exact moment Briar loses control of her laughter, bending forward as she lets it out, making Derek look even more proud of himself.

"Bailey made me!" Alex snaps back, Briar calming down just in time for Sloan to enter the picture.

"Is this the room for the calendar shoot? I was told it was downstairs." He says, a grin on his face, while Alex shuts his eyes. Briar lights up at that comment.

"Oh! Good idea!" She beams, holding her phone up when everyone turns to her. "I'm so making a calendar out of this. I can make so much money."

"Uh, I want commission. It was my idea." 

"Uh, fuck off." Briar mocks him, rolling her eyes when he narrows his at her. "You're not nearly as broke as–"

"Yeah, all right. That's enough." Bailey's voice instantly silences their argument, "Everybody out. Let Karev do what he's doing in private."

"What is he doing exactly?" Sloan asks, before Bailey gives him a look that makes him turn around. Briar laughs as she sets his water and chips on the table, giving him a proud smile before following the attendings from the room only to find them waiting for her outside, Pixie Cut hovering nearby.

"Send me that picture." They both say instantly, Sloan adding onto it that they should make an actual calendar. Briar hums, rocking back and forth on her heels as she thinks it through.

"What'll you do for it?" She asks, grinning smugly when they both consider her words for a second before starting to plead.

In the end, they both agree to buy her coffee for two months.

"Pleasure doing business with you boys." She smirks, seeing the realization of how much coffee she drinks daily hit them as both of their phones ding with the picture from her. "Always a good time with you two."

The best part is the jealousy on Pixie Cut's face.

✦

Arizona is being pressured into performing surgery on Wallace.

His parents made it clear that he is getting the surgery, even if they have to go to another hospital to get it done. Dr. Webber and Jennings from the board made it clear that the family is willing to donate too much money for them to be allowed to walk out those doors dissatisfied.

Briar feels sick to her stomach.

She watches from outside of his room as Arizona gets ready to take him to the O.R., the two of them having a long conversation. All she can think about is the Lego kits she's ordered for his birthday. One of them is a hospital, another an ambulance. She desperately wants the chance to build them with him and teach him as much as she can think of about medicine as they do.

His face always lights up when he learns a new medical term.

That's all she can think about as he's prepped, as he's put under, as she stands with Percy and listens carefully to every instruction from Arizona. It steals her breath away, makes her feel so sick she could pass out.

In the end, Percy is the voice of reason.

"Can we get a washcloth for Dr. Robbins?" He requests as Briar suctions, trying to make it easier for Arizona to see. Briar glances up to see beads of sweat on Arizona's face, and sympathy fills her entire body. Anything Briar is feeling is amplified with Arizona, who has been on his case since day one.

"I'm fine." Arizona argues, although she clearly isn't. She keeps mumbling about the surgery being a bad idea, clearly directed at Dr. Webber, who doesn't respond.

"Just take a moment." He insists, his voice softer now. Briar looks at him for a second before focusing back on the surgery, wondering if this is what Izzie saw in him.

Arizona turns to the side, letting herself get taken care of while Briar continues suctioning. When she turns back to the table, she's more focused, and that's the Dr. Robbins that Briar is proud to learn from. She gives Percy a nod, setting her issues with him aside in favor of being appreciative in the moment.

He nods back, and they get to work.

✦

When she gets paged for Wallace, it's one of the worst moments of her career–no, of her life.

He's in septic shock, and they all fight as hard as they can to give him a chance, but in the end it isn't enough. His body was too unstable to handle the surgery.

Arizona snaps when Dr. Webber offers to help them, Briar surprised it took her this long, even with her issues with authority figures.

"No! No, you can't. Because as long as you're standing there breathing over my shoulder, I feel like I'm operating on a stack of dollar bills–25-million dollar bills–and what I need to be invested in right now is this kid. So please get the hell out of my O.R.!"

Briar looks away from the Chief as Arizona's words hit, her and Percy working together to try and provide as much suction as they can. It's an impossible task, but she does her best despite the sickening feeling that none of it is going to help.

Wallace is too far gone, but it's Wallace.

✦

Jennings is reading a magazine. Webber at least looks too worried for anything else, but Jennings is reading a magazine.

Briar takes deep breaths, telling herself that she can't go around hitting objects out of hospital board members' hands.

"How'd it go?" Webber asks, as if the answer isn't obvious.

Arizona shakes her head, and his face falls.

"Damn it." Jennings throws the damned magazine down, and Briar watches him, completely disgusted. He's not upset about Wallace; he's not upset that a 10–almost 11–year old boy died. No, he's upset that the hospital might not get Wallace's parents donation.

Webber sighs, and Briar scans him, seeing that there's at least understanding in his eyes, in the lines on his forehead. He knows what it is to be a doctor. He knows what it takes out of them to lose a kid on the table.

He still pressured her into the surgery, a voice reminds her.

"I'll let them know you did everything you could." He says, and Briar feels tears form in her eyes as Arizona slowly starts to walk away, her footsteps heavy. She can't think about Paul and Bethany right now, she just can't. If she does she'll break, and she doesn't want to be in the hospital when she does.

"Wait, Dr. Robbins, w–don't we have to tell the parents, let them know that he didn't make it?" Dr. Percy calls her back, Arizona slowly turning around, looking defeated.

"No."

"What do you mean no?" Percy questions, still not getting it.

"I mean no." Arizona reiterates, her voice sharp. It's not directed at Percy, but at the other two men hovering over her. "I will not be speaking to Wallace's parents. Mr. Jennings and the Chief will take care of that formality, because as far as they're concerned and as far as the Anderson's will be concerned, I just killed their son. I'm a liability. Because if they were to ask me, the truth is, I would tell them that I did just kill their son, and they should sue, and I am responsible. But that's not in the best interests of the hospital. Am I close?"

"Yeah, I think we're on the same page." The tone Mr. Jennings uses has Briar balling her hands into fists, resentment filling her.

Arizona just nods and walks away, all of them watching her go. Briar can't look away from the Chief, who seems lost.

✦

We're throwing a surprise party for Arizona!! A text from Lexie reads.

A few minutes later, another one: At Callie's place lol. 

Please tell me U R coming

& don't tell her!!!

Briar stares at the texts, beyond exhausted. It's a tiredness that no amount of sleep will fix.

Lexie picks up on the third ring, and Briar can hear a lot of noise in the background. From what she overhears, they're setting up for Arizona's surprise party.

"Hey! Are you–" Lexie's cheer grates on Briar's nerves instantly, but she tries her best to be nice even when she wants to scream.

"Lexie, listen, you need to call this off." She says urgently, knowing that the last thing Arizona will want is to get surprised with a birthday party. Lexie just laughs, clearly surprised at the idea, so Briar tries something else. "Can you put Callie on the line?"

"Um, she's busy decorating so–"

"Lexie!"

"Alright, alright, relax." She huffs, and then Briar hears as she moves through the people there, having short conversations with them before reaching Arizona's girlfriend. "Here, it's Briar. She wants to talk to you."

"Hello?" Callie asks, sounding confused, and Briar rushes to state her peace.

"Listen, I'm probably overstepping, but I think you should cancel the party. Or reschedule it. I just don't think that Arizona is ready for–"

"Yeah, you are overstepping." Callie interrupts her, sounding annoyed now, and Briar stops walking to close her eyes. "I know my girlfriend, okay? I know her better than you, believe it or not. So I am going to throw a celebration for her, and if you don't like it, don't come."

She hangs up, Briar staring at the phone in disbelief. At least she can say she tried.

Hours later, sitting by herself at Joe's Bar, she gets a text from Arizona.

You tried to stop it?

Grimacing, Briar decides to call her, hating that she can't read people's tone through their text messages. Arizona doesn't seem to be at a party, or it's the quietest party ever, but Briar is going to use the context clues of Arizona sniffling to decide she isn't there.

"You–you told her not to throw a party." Arizona says, her words catching in a way that makes Briar's eyes burn. She finishes the last of her Coke, waving at Joe to get her tab.

"No, I thought it would be too soon." She answers honestly, and Arizona seems to cry harder at that. Briar grimaces as she throws money down, more than enough to cover the soda she's been drinking, and then heads out into the rain.

"He's eleven and–and he should be having a party." Arizona sobs, Briar's lip wobbling at the thought before she forces herself to calm down, needing to be calm in order to drive.

"I know," She says as softly as possible, trying to sooth her. "Listen, where are you? I'm going to come get you."

"At–at the apart-tment." She hiccups, Briar quickly putting the phone on speaker and setting it in the cup holder. "Outside. I cried when they s-su-surprised me."

"I'd cry too." She agrees lightly. "I mean, have you seen the people we work with? Talk about a jumpscare."

The stupid joke makes Arizona laugh for a second, which is what Briar was going for.

"Are you sure you want to get me?" She asks, sounding hesitant. Briar doesn't like it. "I mean, is–is there something else you can be doing?"

"There's tons of things, but I want to get you, Arizona. You shouldn't be alone right now."

When she pulls up in-front of the apartment, it's to the sight of Arizona sobbing again. Briar jumps out of her seat, rushing to help her into the passenger seat.

"Where are we going?" Arizona asks a few minutes later, having calmed down quite a bit. Briar likes to think that the Beatles album she has playing in the background helped.

"We're going to the store." She says simply, having come up with the idea as they were driving. When Arizona gives her a look, she just shakes her head. "Just trust me. It'll be quick and you don't have to come in if you don't want to."

"Okay."

Briar makes quick work of grocery shopping, conscious of the upset women sitting in her car. In the end, she likely buys way too much for the two of them, but she doesn't mind. She gives herself a moment before walking to the car to text both Derek and Meredith, asking them to steer clear of the kitchen, before she's bringing them back to the house she's barely been in over the last few weeks.

Arizona beelines for the couch, crying into one of the cushions, while Briar lugs all the bags onto the kitchen counter and starts separating items. The three cartons of ice cream get shoved into the freezer for later, but everything else stays out.

"Come here, Arizona." She says, waiting a few minutes for her to slowly move from the living room to the kitchen, looking completely miserable. Briar points to the counter, making Arizona blink for a second, looking confused and slightly annoyed.

"Pizza?" She asks, and then Briar sees the moment it hits. "That–that was–"

"His favorite food." Briar confirms softly, moving forward to grab two pans. She gives one of them to Arizona, and then passes over one of the balls of dough and a rolling pin. "I figured that we can do something to celebrate his birthday. It's okay if you don't want to celebrate yours, I get it. But Wallace–well, we–he–"

"This is perfect." Arizona interrupts her, and when Briar looks up, it's to the most beautiful smile pointed at her. It's wobbly and falls quickly, but Briar appreciates it for what it is.

"Okay." She says softly, clearing her throat, and then she points to the toppings. "I'm going to be honest, some of these toppings are questionable, but he said they were his favorites so we have to try it."

There's something therapeutic in the process of making the pizzas. They laugh at each other as they struggle to spread the dough evenly, make grossed out faces as they add the toppings–seriously, apples do not belong on pizza, Wallace!– and talk the entire time. They have to take breaks while telling stories, the loss still too fresh, but it's nice to compare funny stories about the kid who lived in the hospital for so long.

After, they eat the pizzas on the floor, discovering that apples actually do belong on pizza.

"This is a birthday tradition I'd be happy to have." Arizona says softly, her voice hoarse from all the yelling, talking and crying. Briar smiles back, pleased that she was able to provide this for the woman she sees as a mentor.

"Then let's do it. Every year."

Arizona reaches out and shakes her hand: "Every year."

✦

Arizona offers to do it alone, but Briar walks by her side.

She doesn't want to go in that room at all, but it would be wrong not to. It would be a disservice to that little boy, and to his parents. Briar is many things, but a coward is not one of them, so she goes with Arizona.

"Arizona, Briar." Bethany greets them both with wide eyes, freezing from where she's running her fingers across her son's blanket.

"Dr. Robbins, Dr. Sinclair, this is a very sensitive time." Mr. Jennings protests their presence, getting waved off by Dr. Webber.

"Excuse me?"

"I said: let them be." Dr. Webber's voice is firm, and Briar's respect for him grows. Arizona nods, and the two of them enter the room, Briar's eyes scanning the room. It's heartbreaking to know that everything that made this room Wallace's is being packed up, that they'll never see him again.

"It just doesn't feel real." Bethany chokes out, Paul ducking his head. "Any of it. It just– it doesn't feel real."

"Bethany, would you like to see him?" Arizona asks, her eyes also filled with tears. Bethany nods instantly, and Briar steps back to let them through. She won't follow for that part; that moment belongs to them, and she doesn't have the strength for it the way Arizona does.

Before they leave the room, Paul speaks to her.

"You're still wearing it." He says, his voice hoarse, and it takes a minute for her to realize that he's talking about the friendship bracelet Wallace made her. She lifts her arm up, tilting her wrist so that the beads reading Dr. Sinclair are visible, and smiles past the lump in her throat.

"I'll never take it off." She promises, meaning every word of it. When she has to scrub in, she'll make sure to place it in her pocket where it can't be ruined, but she has no intentions of taking it off her person. It's part of her uniform now.

Paul makes a choked noise, and Bethany pulls her into a tight hug. Briar squeezes her, trying to put every ounce of admiration and strength into it for Bethany to take with her, and Paul gives her a grateful smile when she looks up at him. It's weak, and falls after only a second, but Briar understands what he's saying without words being needed.

"Thank you." Bethany breathes into her ear. Briar squeezes harder, waiting for Bethany to release the hug first, and doesn't let her tears fall until they're out of the room.

Alone in the room, she allows herself to fall apart.

Bad dreams, bad dreams, go away. Good dreams, good dreams, here to stay.
Bad dreams, bad dreams, go away. Good dreams, good dreams, here to stay.
Bad dreams, bad dreams, go away. Good dreams, good dreams, here to stay.

authors note:
this episode makes me cry every single time i watch it. i wish we got more time with wallace's character, and i wish we got someone comforting arizona. i hate that she was alone after the party.

alex karev the way that i love you. i love him in peds so much. it's perfect for him.

also, jackson going crazy for cristina is so real. the man has a competence kink and i fully understand him. i would make moves on cristina if given the opportunity.

i feel like there's more i wanted to say, but i can't remember. this has more reads than i expected it to so early on, so thank you for that! if you're reading this, i would love to know your thoughts :)

i hope everyone's having a good day <3