9k words again.. and I was literally so disappointed with the last chapter.

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" Relax karr.. dono nahi hai to sath hi honge.. sath hai to theek... " Ankush spoke but stopped as Varun pushed the door open with spare keys.

Their eyes first fell on the broken pieces on the floor... but the moment they caught the red spot on comforter.. and then finally his blood soaked shirt lying half out the dustbin. The view of made Varun and Ankush look at each other as if confirming to each other. They stood there frozen for a moment with panic arising inside.

Whatever it was, it wasn't something they would like to see for even a second more...

____________________________________

Varun felt panicked.. his first instinct went on cursing himself for not paying attention last night.. he wasn't able to understand what to assume and what to do. His mouth opened in reflex.. maybe wanting to say something.. or ask.. but realizing that he didn't knew what, he fell quite again just looking around and then towards Ankush as if trying to convince himself that he was thinking more.. reacting more..

" Relax karr.. lag gayi hogi.. wo gadha batata bhi to nahi hai.. hospital wagerah gaya hoga dressing karane... " The words were to calm Varun but Ankush's voice was reflecting how unconvinced he himself was.

However, his words didn't seemed to work even a bit on Varun. How would they ??.. when Varun had all the reasons to dismiss that assumption.

" Ye kal raat ko toota hai... aur Pintu bhaiya subah se ghar pe hai... Bhai ghar nahi aaye hai.. " Varun stated and looked towards Ankush who fell quiet, not understanding what he was supposed to understand ??

But then, as always.. being responsible one that he is, he got a hold over himself and decided to look after Sidharth first without letting anything come to the mind.

" Misha hai uparr ?? " Ankush asked.

" Wo kal bhai ke sath hi pune chali gayi thi.. firr wahi ruk gayii "

" Usse puch kab baat hui last Shehnaaz se... " Ankush told Varun and himself came out to reach Vardaan's door.

He might be all composed in front of Varun but the truth was that he was getting panicked. It wasn't normal with them. Be it any day ,any time, any situation, there would be atleast someone who would be aware about the well being and whereabouts. And here they both were not reachable since last night.. It's been freaking whole night and whole day !! And over that, Sidharth's room was more than enough to put them into a spot where they couldn't assume anything yet were getting crazily nervous.

Within all this, Vardaan's no responses to the doorbell and phone calls was adding up to it. Vardaan has told Ankush that he was gonna relax at home the whole weekend.. free from work.. free from people.. free from any commitment.... but that doesn't include phonecalls !! Ankush was losing it and in frustration he banged the door even though part of his mind kept reminding that how was that gonna help if Vardaan hasn't responded till then ??

But as he saw Varun coming out of his house, Ankush gave up the attempts. They moved towards the lift even though they didn't knew where they were supposed to go. And before they get in, Varun's phone catches their attention.

The name only gave them a breath of relief.

" Stucked with work but I'm fine.. Don't wait !! "

They read.. but for some undefined reason that breath of relief turned tensed one again. Varun and Ankush looked at each other and that was enough for them to understand that they both were on the same page.. they don't believe this.

The questions were very much clear on their faces, waiting for the other one to answer and tell what to do ?? They don't know what they were supposed to do ?? Where they were supposed to find them ?? And important of all whether they should or not ?? Because if they both were together then possibly it was about them.. and in that case, interference didn't felt appropriate.

" Let's wait for the night.. Atleast they are fine.. " Ankush said.

_____________________________________

It was late night, the city around almost slept while Shehnaaz felt some consciousness. Just enough to acknowledge that she was drained out.. so much that she wasn't understanding if she was actually awake or just half conscious... so much that even opening eyes felt like a lot to do.. so much that she couldn't even recall if she slept or passed out ?? And for how long ??

Opening her eyes which felt like were carrying weights, she slowly brought herself to acknowledge her surroundings. But as soon as her eyes catched it, a momentary delusion of still being in sleep crossed her.. A few moments later as the delusion subsided, panic filled her simultaneously. She couldn't see anything around.. it was all pitch dark. In that moment of panic, as she tried moving her shoulder which was sore, pained madly with the unprepared movement moistening her eyes. And then taking a deep breath she got up again to sit... She remembered sitting like this only, the last time she remembered she was awake.. but still she wasn't finding herself familiar with the place.. How would she ?? This darkness around was darker than even closed eyes can experience and silence was so deep that she felt like her head humming inside to compensate..

She looked around still in that phase of bringing her mind to consciousness which felt numb, in hope that maybe she could understand something. She couldn't make herself reach any assumptions.. about the place.. about the time.. about anything.. This felt like some nightmare as an effect some stupid horrible movie... This 'nothing' around, this darkness felt like some actual physical thing coming closer and closer.. it felt strangling.. it felt suffocating..

She ran her hands in air around her... a bit to understand her surroundings.. and more to convince herself that this darkness which felt like coming over and engulfing her was actually nothing..

For some unknown reasons, her mind was not picking up on the hope that there was any help there for her but minutes later, she gathered her courage, her mind, her ownself !! She can't give up.. she might not know what situation she was in.. but she knows that she needs to be out of this.. she needs to go out.. she needs to fight for her life.. not the one anyone would define, but the one she defines !!

And that mere desperation striking her mind filled her with hope and energy to atleast try.. She won't be able to define how much that 'desperation' itself mean to her.. that desperation to live and fight was more than enough she needs as an answer for anything then.. because she won't like to admit it now but the old Shehnaaz wouldn't have that !!

Stumbling through her feeble self she got up but a panic was constantly escalating inside her. And she couldn't even name . She doesn't know how to define it. She doesn't even know what exactly she was supposed to fear then ?? What exactly she was supposed to pray for ??

And gathering little courage she took little steps, with her hands still introspecting around as they were the only shield she had then.. Just few steps and her foot touched something.. and it helped her mind to believe that there was space and matter around.. That suffocation, that feeling of engulfment felt a bit subsiding. As her mind was busy calculating the steps she was taking, her hands suddenly came in touch of something making her pull her hand back with a jerk, her beat skipped and breath stopped momentarily while her scream supressed in her throat only maybe because her body doesn't believed she had that much energy.. or maybe because for some unknown reason recalling the touch made her believe that it wasn't something she should be afraid of.. And with those shaking hands she lightly touched it again.. and gaining confidence she inspected properly.. she felt her fingers digging in the surface.. She couldn't understand what it was.. but moving her hand she felt it was all over her hands were reaching.. like a wall.

She ran her hand touching the spongy material as that's the only thing she knew she had around her.. And moving her hands, it came in contact with some cold metal.. Her body was weak, yet mind was totally under the desperation, and ran like never before.. Maybe it was a knob.. a door knob !! .. The wave mixed up of some hope, relief, confidence and energy passed through her and in that hopefulness she pushed the surface as if looking if gets open... but it didn't. She gave another random attempt at pushing and god knows just because she wanted to notice something hopeful or because her senses for touch were at it's peak, she sensed slightest of impact of the push.. slightest movements were there.. kind of negligible.. something which wasn't as firm as a wall should be.. assuring her that it was't a wall.. and anything vertical except a wall was a big hope..

Her hands shaking in weakness and desperation reached the knob but the next moment her eyes welled up in a moment realizing the mockery happening with her.. Giving hope in a moment and then crashing it.. as she moved her fingers over... she realized either it was something else, orrr.....
it was broken !!!

Though part of her got very much convinced that it won't help, still she kept trying for the littlest of hope she didn't knew was still there. That was a little and only hope she got, letting it go felt like giving up on life... The previous Shehnaaz might had let that happen but this one can't even think.. it started hurting her fingers. She could feel her her finger tips stinging over already burning flesh. That pain was no where near to get attention over her 'desperation to be out', but still somewhere her mind knew that her body won't be able to take it.

That wave of hope, confidence and energy was stumbling down with each failed attempt and not able to take it she dragged herself down against that surface but didn't stopped banging the door in unconvincing attempts.. how faded those bangs sounded to her own ears, made those hopes aroused ooze out in form of tears and she stopped leaving her attempts then and there..

Amongst all the happy days where there was no shadow of her past life, whatever happened came like a sudden hit to her... The sudden emotional overwhelm she was put into then, had put her into a distress where her mind and thoughts got packed cutting her off from the outside world... which now was making her feel like she doesn't know how she landed in that situation... or may be she know, but she couldn't believe if it actually happened or was just a bad dream.. She just couldn't differentiate and believe the things going around to be true.. she just couldn't absorb whatever happened and was happening was real.. maybe because how occupied her mind was earlier to absorb the happenings.. maybe because this situation she was in, put her in a sphere of all delusions.. or... maybe because her definition to reality roam around one person.. His presence was what she defined reality !! He was 'her reality' !!!

She banged the door again and this time, it wasn't an attempt but just the frustration and helplessness arising inside.. which didn't even made a sound for her to hear in that deafening silence. She couldn't make herself reach any assumptions.. about the place.. about the time.. about anything !!

" Kho..loo !! " And the words felt like coming out scratching her throat.

It was like a plead to no one particular but almighty and her insides mocked how unconvinced and hopeless her own word was... This much strain was a lot to force her to let her body lose, and she was back on the floor curled up in hopelessness. Her cheek touched the rough floor and she could smell dust. The next moment she felt like her eyes getting warm and moistened... And before she realizes, an unbelievably hot stream of tears came out of the corner of an eye.. crossing the bridge of the nose reached closer to other eye and messing her cheek fell down on the floor drop by drop.. while the other stream from the corner of another eye crossed the temple and got lost.. some in ear and rest in hair.. She felt her breath slowing down and energy to keep her eyes open felt like slipping away.

And she got pushed back into the darkness deeper than the existing one as she couldn't hold on to that half conscious state any longer..

___________________________________

The night passed with one being unaware of the time but the other one counting for both the shares.

Sidharth turned weak.. in all the ways. With each passing second, his fear grew and he was already past the patience he could hold. He was battling for each next second as he didn't knew what step he should take. For a moment he would be ready to bear this wait as he didn't knew how any of his actions would affect her and the next one, he would be ready to turn selfish as these incomplete things, informations and fears felt like choking him... Finding a mid-way, he tried calling her once last night, but getting no reply, it striked him again that she might have been meding so many things and he should not do anything which might create any trouble for her...

However, this dilemma kept squeezing his insides all the while and his thoughts were interrupted as his phone buzzed. Even before his mind could process that it could be from her, his heartbeat paced up already.. that was the loyalty his wait held. He sat straight within that sudden rush inside and checked it only to get disappointed again. It was Raghav.. on the group created for his wedding, bashing everyone for not being there yet.

And that's when he realized that he had pushed away everything, he had literally cut himself off. He didn't wanted anyone to be involved in this, he didn't wanted them to be worried,.he didn't wanted to hurt anyone again with his uncontrolled self.. but for how long ?? Staying away seemed no more an option... It was doing the very same thing now for which he was staying away...  making his family worry, making them suffer.

And then it buzzed again and he realized his phone going almost dead, he realized that he has to go !!  Even though he was disappointed with hours of waiting, he couldn't let this lone way he had to reach her then, break for a moment even.. he just can't afford that !!

____________________________________

As the doorbell rang Varun who was trying to call Sidharth turned rushed to open the door.. but found Ankush there who had a questioning look.. but got answers to those questions watching Varun's disappointment finding him on the door...

" Abhi tak nahi aaye ?? " Ankush said worriedly to which Varun nodded in a no.

" Shehnaaz ke ghar dekha ?? " Ankush asked again.

" Haa.. bell bajayi kafi der.. to nahi hai koi shayad.. "

" Chal Aunty ne jo samaan bola hai wo pick kar lete hai.. tab tak aajaye to.. call karte reh.. "

______________________________________

Varun and Ankush got into the car and while putting the seat belt on, Varun's hand halted in between, as back of his mind processed something which crossed his eyes already, but didn't acknowledged. He turned to see sideways but a little away.

" Bhaii ki gaadi.. " Varun said gaining Ankush's attention.

Ankush looked at Varun hearing him saying something and then his eyes followed Varun's gaze as the words processed, to find Sidharth's car in usual spot. His car was there.. but he was neither at his home, nor at Shehnaaz's.. then where he was ??? They looked at each other doubtfully and back in the direction and their frowning brows relaxed as they realized Sidharth was inside laying on the car seat pushed backwards.. looking up at the roof with a concentration which gained their's. Like that's the only task he had and he know.. or maybe it was like that.. for then atleast !! Neither he looked like, he was coming from anywhere nor he looked like he was going.. Does that mean he was there.. in the car.. like that.. all this while ??

And before they could assume anything they saw him sitting straight.. moments later the door opened and he stepped out a feet. Sighing deep he rubbed away his palms over his face pressing his eyes a little more with the fingertips in attempt to make his looks acceptable enough. He forcibly breathed in deep, came out and moved away. It looked like he needed to prepare himself for anything he do.. even if it was as usual as taking the air in.. and he realized yet again, she indeed has a hold over his breaths even...

It took Varun and Ankush some time to convince themselves over how they were watching him. Sidharth's disheveled state, messed up hair, dejected face, gloomy eyes, looked like were not relaxed since possible longest. And they came out of their trance when they realized him disappearing. Watching the lift closing they realized that they were still rooted to their places. In the next blink, they came out and followed him in the next lift.

The next minute, as they stepped out of the lift, their feets stopped at their places. They saw Sidharth opening the door with his keys. His shirt was stained with little blood spots..The bafflement in his actions, the restlessness in his movements, the vulnerability on his face was so clearly visible that it was scaring Ankush and Varun to even see him like that.

" Bhaii.. " Varun called out as Sidharth went inside but it came out as a mere whisper which choked in between.

The restlessness laced in his voice made Ankush think that Varun was calling Sidharth but the plead it held made him turn towards Varun. Varun was still looking at Sidharth but sensing Ankush's eyes over him he spoke..

" Aap jaao unke pas please !! " Although Varun knew he wasn't supposed to request but it came like that only. It was so visible on Varun's face how much it was paining him to not be close to Sidharth so this confused Ankush slightly.

" I don't want him to see me watching him like that.. " Varun cleared and turned to Ankush, whose slightly questionable face fell relaxed in astonishment hearing him.

Ankush's heart swelled up understanding his words. Sidharth has been a rock figure, a protector, his shield, his father figure. Varun had a option, so he tried keeping it like that only.. And above that, no father would ever be comfortable with his child watching him in such a vulnerable state.

Ankush patted his cheek in a little proud..

" Mai hu uske sath, pareshan mat ho.. jo bhi hai, batata rahunga mai.. " Ankush said in assurance and moved to Sidharth while Varun left to complete the task Maa's told to.

_____________________________________

Ankush entered Sidharth's room unbothered to knock but not that it would have mattered... Sidharth was nowhere !!.. But neither the mess was.. that stained shirt wasn't in dustbin.. the stained comforter wasn't there.. and the broken pieces of vase ?? Well, he could see the traces under the bed. Even though Sidharth had his own turmoils.. but he tried to keep everything away which would have worried anyone.. but only if he knew, he was late this time !!

Ankush was about to call him when he heard the shower running. So he came out for a while and his mind was already puddled up. He couldn't assume a bit of what might had happened. Even though he knew Sidharth since always.. even though he understands him in and out but.. this Sidharth wasn't the one he knew all those years.. The Sidharth he knew would be angry when hurt, he would be angry when upset, he would be angry when disappointed, he would be angry when affected, that Sidharth would shift every 'other than normal emotion' to anger.. but this Sidharth had so clear on his face what was inside.. this Sidharth looked scared.. like a lost child !!

He was deep into thoughts when a sudden hold startled him. A touch which was his heaven.. but right then, he couldn't decide if he was welcoming it or not.. because even though he needed it very much then but at the same time he knew he won't be able to reciprocate.

" Good Morning " The raspy sleepy voice of his girl against his back made his head fall back touching her's, holding on to atleast that much peace.

He made her arms around his waist loosen up and turned to hug her. Shreya sensed his tensed hold but couldn't believe those sensitive senses which were differentiating the touch of very same flesh. It sounded crazy.

" Morning !! " He mumbled a little later just to keep her at ease.

" Acha chalo na mere sath.. " She said pulling him towards her room.

" Kidhar Shreya ?? "

And before he would stop her.. he was already inside Shreya's room. His eyes still fixed on her room's door to see the little of the living room visible from there.. as if keeping a check that Sidharth doesn't goes out again. When he saw the door thud closed blocking his view.

Shreya moved towards her cupboard and came back with a paper bag and keeping it aside she poked his arm gesturing him to sit. He obeyed but sat unsettled. And the next moment, Shreya sat on his lap and Ankush hand reached her waist habitually and other one over her thighs which were on other side.

" Aapko restaurant nahi jana hai na.. " Shreya picked up the bag and started taking out stuff..

" Nahii.. "

" Aurr Raghav ke yaha kab jaenge ?? "

" Dekhte hai baki kya bolte hai.. Tumhe college nahi jana ?? "

" Bhaga rahee ho ?? " She said accusingly.

" Nahi Baccha.. just asking !! "

" Ek hi lecture hai.. mai nahi jari.. Wo chordo.. ye brooches dekho.. I got these two for you.. " She said pointing at the box.

" Ache hai.. " Ankush replied and Shreya looked at him in annoyance at his dull reply.

But what he could do ?? He won't be able pay much attention to it even if he want... 

" Sachh me bahaut ache hai Baby.. " He said again more convincingly and pecked her.

But Shreya craved more and before he backs, her hands cupped his face, and Ankush couldn't part.. She kissed him.. and kissed with so much of love, that it made Ankush guilty. She kissed him as if telling him all again, what he meant for her.. which turned it passionate, intense and sensual by each passing second.. Ankush responded habitually but knowing how he wasn't into the moment was constantly putting him in guilt for Shreya.

Maybe the peak of month it was, as Shreya was already craving Ankush unreasonably and this aroused her like anything.. And this altogether was giving her a lot more confidence than usual.. Her lips kissing his jaws reached his neck and then shifting his shirt aside reached his shoulder and that's when he realised that her hands had already worked on the top buttons of his shirt.

It was obvious her touch was affecting him like crazy but he hates himself to admit that he was thinking of ways to stop this. But the next moment Shreya pulled herself back and sat.. and Ankush sighed mentally but looking into her eyes.. which were bored deep into his, however much was capable till then, even that part of his mind stopped working. Her eyes said a lot he never heard before.. they held a lot he never saw before.. this was 'new'..  And he didn't knew whom to curse for putting them in such a situation.. He tried his best to not let anything happen which would hurt her.. but what about the guilt developing inside because obviously, he knows the truth.. he knows that his heart didn't reciprocated even close to how it should have..

And if that guilt was less, his heartbeat paced as she held his hand and kept it on her shoulders, her breaths turned rapid and heartbeat turned wild and this 'was' new..

And before he could realize, Just few seconds !! ... everything happened so fast that the damage occured came into acknowledgedment after it was done...
as she guiding his fingers to push the strap of her satin loose top down her shoulders. Ankush pulled his hand out abruptly in desperation of not letting anything happen that would be spoil anything for her.. for them.. but didn't realized that, that attempt only will cause a blunder.. that attempt will make her regret over her advancement within a second. And before he realize that, his gaze flickered and turned reluctant instinctively, doing another blunder, as that one and only layer covering half of her dignity, pooled around her waist...

In his guilt of failure, he didn't knew what Shreya went through in just those few seconds.. He looked back at her the very next moment but met her filled up eyes. He literally felt like doing something to himself watching that..

" Shreyy !! " He called out softly cupping her face.

He pulled her close cupping her face and she was like in trance of sinking this rejection not even bothered to cover herself.. She was half bare in front of him but his eyes never left her's cursing himself to replace what all was there just a minute back with these shitty tears.. 

" Listen to me !! It's.. it's just.. this time wasn't right Shrey... I had to go somewhere baccha.. You are getting it na ?? " Ankush said fumbling, fearing if he do one more thing wrong.

He was battling for the best words but were there any words to shrug out the rejection she felt. He was convinced to tell what exactly was the reason ??... but was there any which would subside the embarrassment she felt ??

He was convinced to tell her about what exactly was wrong around her. But before that he needed to let her know why exactly his reactions came like that.. What ever might be the root cause reason, it was him she got hurt with.. and he was in enough guilt already to use anything else to make her feel better than his own apology and clarification.

She looked away as her eyes blurred with her own tears.. and as she realized her state again her hands moved quickly to pull up her straps from her wrists over her arm and got down from his lap in a haste, Ankush too got up quickly to clear out things..  She stumbled in that haste but as always Ankush held her...

" Shreyy.. please don't cry... " Ankush said bringing his palm over her cheek and his own eyes were moist by now.

" It came out wrong.. I didn't meant.. " And it only gave Shreya images of her desperate self.

Ofcourse, she was desperate for him.. but how that desperation makes you feel, is a thin line. She pushed herself to display that desperation for him... to play bold... to show him how much she wanted him.. to tell him that he's the one who would see this craving for himself in those eyes.. But this needs reciprocation.. Even though part of her mind knows that she was terming this really harsh comprehending it way beyond she should... but then, that she 'was' feeling rejected, embarrassed and couldn't help it.. part of self-esteem which had nothing to do with oneself was damaged...

And jerking him away both in embarrassment and hurt she got into the bathroom more to hide herself.
Ankush too went behind but she was in, already..

" Shreyy.. I'm sorry.. bacha please don't cry.. Pleaseee !! Hear me out once..  please.. " And his pleading stopped as he heard the shower running and he remembered the other things he had too take care of too..

" I'll fix this Shreyy.. Promise !! Just don't cryy.. Please !!! " He said again slightly hoping this to reach her..

And he came out of Shreya's room.. went to the kitchen and taking out a bottle gulped it all down calming himself.. Shreya was important.. Sidharth was important.. and he just can't choose !! The mess with Shreya was atleast known to him.. and he could think over how to fix but he wasn't even aware what Sidharth was going through.. so he need to fix it before.. or atleast know whatever it was !!

" Pintu ek kaam karega ?? "

" Haa bhaiya ?? "

" Jab Shreya ko breakfast dene jaye to Aunty se kisi bhi bahane se baat karte hue jana.. " Ankush explained and although Pintu was confused but he nodded affirming him.

And taking another plate of Sandwich Ankush moved to Sidharth's room.

______________________________________

Sidharth who was trying everything which would pull him out of that zone where he could think nothing but the glimpses, the possibilities he was shown.. He was scared.. and he was equally guilty of being scared.. his fear never meant distrust... but then, he can't deny that his fear was reasonable.. it's her parents other side !!

Moving under the shower, Sidharth took support resting his palms against the shower wall, as if letting the cold water wash away everything unnecessary out of his mind so that his sanity remains.. it seemed like mental dejection was sucking out the physical endurance. As he opened his mouth in order to breathe, his tongue tested water which was sweeter than usual.. and that's when he realized how dried up his throat was. He gulped as if letting that much moisture to wet his throat which hadn't tested anything.. even a word since two nights.

Even being away, he wasn't letting her suffer alone...

" Bhaiya !! " Ankush's attention diverted as he heard a call with a knock on the door.

" Haa ?? " Ankush asked.

" Laundry ke liye bhaiya ke jackets dene bola hai Auntyji ne.. "

Ankush looked at Pintu at the door and then back inside in a dilemma. This wasn't the time but if things won't be normal for others.. they would have to answer Maa.. And right then, there was nothing they could have said. So he got up and saw the jackets over the bag already open. He picked few just for the name sake and his eyes fell on that little gift peeking out of the jacket's pocket. Taking it out, he kept it on the bed and gave the jackets to Pintu.

" Shreya ne kuch khaya ?? "

" Haa.. Aunty ji ne sun liya tha mana kar rahi thi to sambhaal liya unhone. " Pintu replied and Ankush smiled at him and came inside.

In sometime, Sidharth came out thinking that he would manage an excuse for the confrontation he saw already. But as he saw Ankush sitting there on the bed, he felt unprepared and he looked away in a blink without even processing.. as if trying to hide himself.

He took his phone even before putting on his shirt and went away to sit on the couch wearing the shirt when Ankush came close and pushed his hand away lightly in irritation.

" Take it off  !!
Wo mai nahii karunga.. " Ankush said in a little anger and turned away. Obviously he would be angry.. anything might have happened but this.. this running away.. this torture over himself just wasn't acceptable !!

Ankush brought the first aid box and Sidharth wasn't in condition of opposing. He was on the verge.. just a little push and he won't be able to hold himself.

Ankush sat on the wooden coffee table in front of the couch and held his forearm, inspected the wound... it still had clotted blood over it stucked with the healing cells which didn't washed away by the shower even... And his anger wasn't unjustified. Glaring at him, Ankush took the first aid kit from the side and bandaged it.. followed by the bicep and shoulder's bruise.. while Sidharth sat silent looking away to avoid and his gaze fàell over that tiny little gift box on the bed... still lying there unpacked.

A mere look at it, and those eyes which weren't much habitual of moisture.. didn't even realized got filled up when ?? .... and flowed down making him subconsciously look away being not habitual of showing them.. And how would he do that even ?? She told him that she want his man should count her shoulder as the first thing whenever he want to cry.. Today, he want to !!  And that shoulder was nowhere around... But then, that itself was the reason !!

××××× FLASHBACK ×××××××××××

" Pintu !!! Mera bag hai na couch pe.. khula hi hoga.. usme upar hi jackets rakhe hai.. ek laa dega please ?? " Sidharth asked Pintu after the video call ended and he was about to leave for the meeting.

Shreya went to her room to attend another call from her college friend and Pintu came back with the jacket and handing over to Sidharth, he left to finish his work.

He kept it across his arm, not feeling the need to wear it then, but.. maybe weight or ununiformity, he sensed the other stuff present in it. And he realized he forgot to take the gift out of the jacket. But before he would hide it back, her eyes were already there.

" Ye kya hai ?? " She asked and before she could touch, he pulled it away making her frown.

" Bas dekh rahi thi.. " She said in annoyance and turned to move away.

And he realized that he didn't meant to but his action was offensive. And before she would move he pulled her back in urgency with his free arm, wrapping it around her waist. And then wrapped another one too keeping her as closer as possible while the jacket still hanging over his arm between them.. Bringing his face closer he rested his nose against her's.. And part of his mind was now expert over how her body reacts.. this time it was his breaths he was using as a card to make her forget that she was upset a moment ago..

" Dikhana hi to nahi tha.. Abhii... Abhi nahi dikhana tha !! "

And bent his face sideways poking his face against her ear..

" Tera hai.. tere pas hi aayega.. " He said and kissing her there and pulled his face back.

Firstly his voice was more than enough to do what it do.. over that, his lips rubbed her skin making those words vibrate and literally ran inside her through those random nerves ignited.. and then, what progresses this man was making ??? how carefree he was getting ???.. he was totally unbothered to anything and anyone around making her insides literally juggled and random muscles twitch.

And under those effects, her gaze lowered and fell on that gift again. And not sure if she was actually that much curious.. or she wanted something as a distraction against those effects.. but whatever it was, this actually worked.. she took it in her hands and she got distracted.. she got curious !!! .... She got occupied in her own inspection of the box.. up and down.. right and left.. trying to assume what it hold inside looking at it's size... a wrist watch maybe !!

" Are you going to celebrate my birthday for the whole yearr ?? " She asked making him smile who was looking down at her with a little smile, little curiosity and little attention to avoid her from opening it.

His lips curled up looking at this innocent face and her most innocent voice. And the urges again !!! He so wanted to squeeze her and hide her.. But what was new about that ?? Except his crazy addictive mind which had a level up and frowned if he could do that as a permanent thing.

Squeezing her tight, he unintentionally brought her out of her inspection to find him taking a bite of her cheeks.. There was no way he could held himself from testing them for long.. and before she could say or do anything which she was sure that she wasn't going to.. she felt his palm aross her nape already making her eyes turned downways.. and that warm fingers rubbed her on her 'still cold skin' to pull away those wet hairs from his way.. as if not allowing anything to share his home.. and in that possessiveness, he dugged his face into her neck and then left her hairs.. letting them to be a curtain to him when he was lazying into his home

" I am going to celebrate you for the whole life.. " He mumbled unbothered to the volcanoes erupting with those hot breaths and that raspy voice against her neck.

And before he could get satiate, he was pushed out of his home making him scrunch his face and he understood the next second when he heard Shreya stepping closer still on the call. And he went back to his room kept the jacket back into the bag and left it open.. as cupboard would be first place to look into and an already open messed bag would be less prone to get considered a hiding place. But was that even needed ?? He know she won't open it.. she would love to receive it however and whenever he would have wanted.. but still !!! Maybe just playing his part of the play !!

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

Ankush saw his eyes fixed, and that  dejection with a little softness was so visible on his face making Ankush's heart sting. Getting up from the table  he went and sat besides him, gaining his attention. And realizing his presence Sidharth's subconsciously got reluctant for a moment.. maybe because he knew he was losing it over his mind in all ways.. he felt like no hold left.

And Ankush being aside, Sidharth felt that he was losing against him... or maybe a corner of this tough man wanted that only.. it wanted Ankush to stay.. it wanted Ankush to hear him.. it wanted Ankush to tell him something out of the situation which would help him shrug out whatever was growing inside..he wanted Ankush to tell him something which was between the lines or something he couldn't notice... he wanted Ankush to tell him something which would dismiss whatever he was understanding out of the situation.

" Sidharth ?? " And the scared child within this tough man couldn't hold and a tear left his eye..

This wasn't normal !!.. Sidharth crying was not normal !!.. And this agitated Ankush.

" Sidharth kya hua hai ?? Haa ?? Bol na ?? Jhagda hua ?? " Ankush asked and he himself didn't realized that he never talked to Sidharth this way.. he was unacknowledgedly watching Sidharth as some vulnerable child.

Sidharth kept quite not understanding what exactly to tell him when he himself was stucked on assumptions..

" Thoda tagda wala hogaya ?? " Ankush asked again and he was deliberately saying this casually as he knew Sidharth and he did not wanted him to overthink over whatever might had happened.

" Achaa jaane de.. Kaha hai wo ?? Haa ?? Ghar aagayi ?? Mai baat karke aata hu.. Bol na kaha hai ?? " Ankush asked letting it go in Sidharth's mind indirectly that it could be solved and not to think much..

" Nahii pata.. " And finally the words came out scratching both.. his throat and his heart.

Sidharth said and Ankush was silent as for some reason, Ankush was getting this sinking feeling. But gathering his will again he cheered up again for Sidharth, even if it was fake..

" Aee pagal !! Gusse me gayii hai na ?? " Ankush said softly slapping his head.

" Time de na thoda... 2 ghante to nahi nikalte uske tere bina.. office tak to jati nahii hai wo tujhe mile bina.. tu bhi na..  gussa shaant hote hi dekh aajaega tera panda tere pas..  "

" Do ghante nahi nikalte ?? " Sidharth questioned somewhat like challenging his words and somewhat like asking him to confirm them..

" Do.. din.. ho.gaye.. mujhe kucch khabar nahii hai.. uske bare me...  " Sidharth tried telling like a child complaining.

And this was where Ankush came out of his hollow assumptions and his heart paced up in worry.. not for Sidharth's naaz but for ' Shehnaaz '.

" Idharr sun.. bata mujhe kya hua hai ?? Kaha gayi hai wo ?? Kab mila tha tu usko ?? "

" Parso.. raat ko.. Pune se aake uske Pas gaya tha.. "

" Vaha tha koi.. behen bol raha tha use phone pe.. Jaise baat kar raha tha shayad uske parents bhi the andar.. "

" Uski.. shadi ki baat kar raha tha wo aur maine pucha to she told me to go.. She wasn't okay then.. parr mujhe laga.. use.. time chahiye hoga.. uske parents ko batane ke liye.. maine bola bhi ki mai baad me aau ?? "

" She refused.. she clearly refused.. boli agar aana hua to she'll call.. nahii to.. nahii aau mai.. "

" Aisa kaise bol sakti hai wo ??

And the helplessness his complaint held pained Ankush making him feel helpless too.

" Phone..bhi.. nahi utha rahii.. " He complained again and his choking words were so transparent showing his fear so clear..

After a minute of silence, Ankush realized that he was in charge then, he realized that he had the responsibility to keep Sidharth's strength firm..

" Idhar dekh.. Sidharth !! Kuch bhi reason ho sakta hai yrr... tu kucch nahi sochega abhi.. Misha ke pas hoga na number uske parents ka.. we'll reach her.. itna bada kaam hai kya ??
But you need to calm !! Samajh aa raha hai ??.. Just calm yourself down.. tab kuch samajh aayega.. mai Misha se number le raha hu.. tab tak tu please.. thoda sa ye kha le... please !! I'm sure you don't want Shehnaaz to see you like this.. You need to be okay to find her.. Shehnaaz ke liye Sidharth.. please use dhundne ke liye kha le.. " Ankush almost pleaded him keeping the plate in front of him.

______________________________________

Patting his shoulder, Ankush came out to call Misha. Varun tried reaching her earlier but she wasn't responding.. Sidharth was already going through a lot and knowing how agitated he was, Ankush tried to pas any informations through himself so that he could filter it to push away anything that might cause unnecessary misery to him... but only if he realize it's just her absence which is causing him misery.. nothing and no one can trouble him more.

Ankush stepped out of the room while his eyes were still behind on Sidharth.. and it was so clear that it was just her name which made him take that bite..

And god knows if it was because how unwantedly he put it in mouth that even that little bite choked.. but just because it was for her !!

But that was it !! Keeping the plate aside he gulped water literally pushing the food in.. and tried calling her again.. and it wasn't even ringing now.. He was past the point he could have obeyed her.. Nothing was prior to him than ensuring that she was good.. that she was safe.. not even her own words !!

_____________________________________

Ankush was calling Misha over and over. He himself was battling with a lot many things.. and adding upto him, he still doesn't know Vardaan's whereabouts...

" Bhaiya !! " Pintu called Ankush again watching him standing at the door of Sidharth's room.

" Haa.. "

" Wo jo jacket aapne diye usme ye mila.. bhaiya ka ho to de do aap.. "

" Theek hai !! "

" Hello Misha !! Where are you man ? " Ankush spoke in agitation after getting a response finally.

Misha fell silent over his tone for a moment as it was so clearl that something wasn't right.

" I'm sorry... my Grandmother was hospitalized so I was there since then.. " She replied but her tone held a question all the time.

" Oh.. I am sorry.. Is everything fine there ?? " Ankush asked.

" Yeah.. She's fine now.. "

" Okay.. "

" All okay ?? " Misha asked a little tensed.

" Um.. I don't know.. " He huffed out knowing he can't and shouldn't hide it from Misha.

" I mean we are trying to reach Shehnaaz.. but.. we don't know where she is ?? "

" Matlab ?? "

" Matlab Parso raat ke baad se kisi se contact nahi hai uska.. Varun raat ko aur abhi thodi der pehle bhii uparr dekh ke aaya... but no one responded.."

" Ghar pe hona tha use.. uske parents aaye hai to ?? "

" How do you know ??  When did you last talked to her ?? "

" The day I came here.. I only told her that her parents were coming "

" You told her ?? "

" Haa.. I called her but she didn't received so I called Shreya and told her.. "

" That means you must be having their numbers ?? "

" Actually no, I don't have their mobile numbers.. it was some landline number they called me from..  "

" Fine, try to talk to them.. and send the number to me too.. "

" Yes I'll just call and I'm coming there. " Misha said unable to hide her worry and was about to end the call.

" Mishaaa !! " Ankush called out a little loud reflexively as something striked him suddenly.

" Haa "

" Have you talked to Vardaan ?? "

" Noo..
he's not picking up my calls. " Misha replied in a bit disappointment.

" Okay.. And don't panic.. Wo family ke sath hai to safe hogi.. And you don't drive try to take a cab.. "

Ankush ended the call with a clear frown on his face. He was going crazy.. crazy as he was feeeling like not a single thing was in hold.. Shreya needed him.. Sidharth needed his Naaz Mish needed Vardaan. And everyone was just yearning..

That was their bond. Each shoulder stands for another...

And letting out a harsh breath he gave one more attempt at calling Vardaan.

_____________________________________

" So ?? What have you planned ?? "

" About ?? "

" Thiss... relationship.. How are you taking things ?? "

" What exactly you want to know ?? .. or Should I say what exactly you want to tell ?? "

" Why are you reacting like this ?? It was a simple question.. How. Are. Things between You. and Her ?? "

" I don't know.. " just an attempt at avoiding the conversation.

" What do you mean you don't know ???? "

" Just few days back mummy was like she'll get you two married and all and you're saying you don't know ?? That's why I say take things slowly.. Don't rush into it.. "

" You never suggested this to me ever earlier.. Why are you having doubts for Misha ?? " Vardaan looked up and said slowly in his disappointment laced voice.

" You don't like her ?? " He asked again and this was more like a complaint.

He was hurt, he was upset, and he was a bit scared.. and none of that had a single reason to be pointed.

" Have you lost it.... " And the words were interrupted with the phone call again which she noticed he wasn't responding.

" Answer it for God's sake Vardaan.. It might be important !! "

And getting irritated she herself accepted and put it on speaker.

" What the fuck is wrong with you ?? Hai kaha tu ?? Gadho ki tarah call karr raha hu kal se.. " Ankush yelled from other side.

" Ye bata karr nahii aaya tumhe ?? " Came a question laced in shock instead making Ankush shock.

" Diii ?? " Ankush called out to confirm himself.

" Aaap ?? Yaha?? .. nahii.... W.wo Delhi me hai ?? " He tried guessing.

" Haa.... baat karr, sun raha hai .. "

" Yea ?? " Vardaan asked but that tinch of nervousness of getting scolded was so clear.

" What the hell are you upto ?? "  Vardaan already saw this coming, but not from this side. It would have felt normal to him coming from Sidharth. Ankush's this side wasn't known.. It never got to come out actually.

" Kya hua ?? " Vardaan asked in a little guilt. He knew he behaved impulsively.

" Tu bol kya hua ?? Munh utha ke nikal gaya hai.. batana bhi zaruri nahi lagta ?? "

" I was missing kids.. " And Vardaan's fake casualness was irritating Ankush more and more.

" Don't.. act.. Vardaan !! You are pissing me off !! "

" I know.. that's what I do all the time.. " Vardaan replied and Ankush literally felt like it wasn't Vardaan he was talking to. But then he remembered that, that wasn't even time to dig in..

" Dii.....
Please push him from there.. Dimag thikane nah.. " And his words stopped as he heard the door of Sidharth's room behind him opening.

He turned back and saw Sidharth coming out with a little more agitation he had left him with. Sidharth, who after pushing every dilemma aside called Shehnaaz found it not even ringing now making him unwantedly nervous. Before Ankush could ask anything, Sidharth's eyes fell over his hand and Ankush could notice his eyes getting a little scrunched as his gaze strengthened over what he was holding in his other hand.

" Sidharth ?? Kyaa hua ?? " Ankush asked looking at him and then down at his hand and then brought it up.

" Y.yee ?? Tere pas Kaise ??.. Kaha mila tujhe ?? " Sidharth said in shock taking it from Ankush looking it front and back more like caressing it.

" Pintu ko mila hai.. Teri jacket se.. " He informed but was still confused.

" Ye... Sh.Shehnaaz ka.. hai... " He stuttered shocked with the realization but unable to process anything more.

And even Ankush fell silent listening his words as if letting Sidharth take his time to assure himself of the information.

" Pakka ?? "

" H.haa.. maine..mai hi laaya tha.. us.ska hi hai.. " Sidharth's voice pitched up as if asking that could he even doubt over this but slowed down real quick as his brain couldn't decide if it was a happy news or not.

And this clue made Sidharth run his mind like never before trying to understand how and when ?? And it didn't took much stress.. The last day they met ran in his mind.. it striked him that it was when they were coming back from Ankush's restaurant in the morning and this grumpy baby was hugging him from back into the lift.. it was then he wore this jacket last.. and she had her hands in his pockets.. and when he pulled her in front, it might be then, she left it in his pocket...  that wasn't anything new. She did that almost all the times that whole week.

" Agar uska phone yaha hai to wo call kaise karti ?? " Ankush reminded.

And as these words fell on Sidharth's ear, a relief passed through Sidharth for a moment.. She didn't had her phone with her then how she was supposed to call her or to receive his. But then the next moment, he realized that it's just two floors and it's been two days.. she didn't tried to even look after her phone ?? That wasn't normal at all !!!

" Aur bina phone itni der kahi kaise jayegi ?? "

" Matlab ?? "

" Raat ko Varun gaya tha tujhe dhundne.. no one responded.. morning me bhi !! "

And Sidharth knows nothing more but just she has to be in front of him.. safe and sound !!

" Kaha ja raha hai ?? "

" Uske gharr.. "

And before Ankush could follow him, he received Misha's text.

Ankush tried calling the number Misha sent but it went engaged. And pausing that for a bit, he went behind Sidharth who was already outside Shehnaaz gate.. a hand moved through his hair and stopped there only as he tugged onto them, his legs moved in restlessness and another one hand didn't left the doorbell switch.. pressing it as if it was responsible for no responses.

As Ankush reached closer, Sidharth turned and pretended fake composture.. to no one but himself he pointed at the door.

" Ye.. ye gate khulwa.. khulwa.. Please !! Tu awaz laga... koi aur ho to kuch bhi kaam bol dena.. laga na awaz.. " Sidharth requested while his words stuttered as part of him was  unconvinced over the attempt because of the previous ones.

Ankush gave a hollow attempt to pacify him.

" Sid.. lock laga hai bhaii.. koi nahi hai andarr.. Tu relax ho please... "

And getting the same response from Ankush which his insides were screaming, he more found strength to give even hollow attempts. Letting out a tiry sigh, Sidharth rested against the wall as if seeking a little mental support through a physical one, looked up as if letting the moisture collecting in eyes get absorbed, pulled his lower lip in as if creating barrier to the screams struggling inside to come out.

A while later, he looked back at Ankush and his eyes clearly told that he had something in his mind which he himself was doubtful about..

" Missing.. complaint.. kare ??? " Sidharth asked as he wasn't trusting himself in terms of sanity at all. So he was taking out every possible way coming into his mind so that Ankush could confirm and keep a check if he was reacting more and impulsive.

" Aurr bolega kya ??? ... That she's with her parents ?? " Ankush countered calmly but his words perturbed him.

" Kisi ke bhi sath ho.. " He shouted in frustration leaving the wall support.

" Mere sath nahi hai na ?? " And next words softened with helplessness.

" Unke sath hai.. to.. me.ra koi haq nahii.. hai ?? Janne ka ??  ka.ha hai wo ?? Theek hai ?? " His complaint sounded helpless and his voice cracked even on such mentions.

Ankush stepped forward and held his shoulders.

" Ye Kisi aur ko samajh aayega ?? Ham kaise bolenge ki wo apni family ke sath hai parr hame lagta hai wo safe nahi hai.. kuch reason hai hamare pass ?? " Ankush explained politely and Sidharth looked up at him as if pleading him to find a way.

" You trust me ?? " Ankush asked so softly like talking to a kid and Sidharth nodded.

" Then believe me ham pahauch jaenge us tak..  Because I. Trust. You..
Your Naaz trusts you.. !! "

***********************************

9k words again.. and I was literally so disappointed with the last chapter.

And that's why I tried to fix everything in this update but it got crazy long.. and it got all messed up and confusing for me to edit.. so unwantedly I had to split it in parts.. Next update is what you are waiting for, and it's half ready and almost edited too.. So I would update it real quick provided how my days are going, take a break.. and even if I'm not able to extend it.. I'll keep it short but I'll update, knowing how how much this track is bothering you all.

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