||CHAPTER 73||
《¤》

T H R E E   M O N T H S   L A T E R

The shuttle cock soared higher than it did the last time, almost hitting the roof of the club house, before toppling on Karan's head. Rubbing his forehead, he bent down to pick up the shuttle cock before delivering another service gently.

On the other side of the court, Arnav's racket smashed the rubber end of the shuttle, the harsh hit whooshing the air around it. The hit was so hard and quick that the shuttle cock landed on his side of the net.

It was a foul. Arnav was never this aggressive. He reeked of frustration today. Which was uncanny, because the final exams ended today as well, and we had a two week break from school before twelfth grade could pester us.

"Dude," Karan called out, slowly making his way towards the net separating them. "School ka exam tha, Boards ka nahi. Uske upar English ka. They aren't going to fail you, out of all people. And waise bhi, it's not like ki tu bure marks kabhi laya hai."

Arnav stooped down slightly, placing his hands on his knees. His breath came out in small pants, sweat dripping slowly from the side of his forehead. "Aisi baat nahi hai."

"Oh please," he snorted. "Negi tujhe Arvika se tho zyada hi marks degi. Fir agar ghar pe bijli kadke bhi tho tujhpe tho nahi kadke gi."

Hearing his words, I aimed the yellow sponge smiley ball that I had been playing with at him. For some reason, this boy loved to poke fun at me. Sensing my action, he ducked. "Smiley wala ball? Ab tu Mikhael ke khilaune bhi churane lagi hai?"

Before either of us could react, Arnav threw his racket on the ground, shocking us both. He was anxious for some reason, had been for a few weeks now. His frustration had been rooted for months though.

I rose up from the laminated floor, watching him walk out of the club house angrily, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his red Reebok band.

"Isse hua kya hai?" Karan asked, confused. "Why is he acting like this?"

I shrugged, walking towards the net. "Pata nahi."

"Is it because your mother isn't coming tomorrow?"

I picked up the racket glumly. "Karan, we had been celebrating birthdays separately for seven years. Mumma saat saal se uske birthday mei nahi ayi hai."

"Kyuki tu apne Mom ke saath Mumbai mein rehti thi. Iss baar tho tu bhi yahi hai na."

"Then frustrate tho mujhe hona chahiye na?"

We couldn't pin point the main cause of Arnav's anger, because Arnav was rarely ever angry before. The good boy, the boy you could rely on, the boy who got good grades and no remarks regarding bad behaviour or tardy uniform. This was unusual.

"Chhod ussey," he said after a while, bending down under the white net to pick up the shuttle cock that had landed on Arnav's side. "Let's see tu kitne fouls score karti hai."

"Woah," I scoffed, standing behind Arnav and staring at his laptop screen. "That's a lot of money."

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, hastily snapping shut the screen of his laptop, bumping his forehead into my jaw accidentally.

"Ow!" I stepped back in pain, rubbing the spot. "I though we stopped with the physical violence ten years ago."

"Tu yaha kya kar rahi hai?" He swirled his chair to face me.

"Jo tu kar raha thha," I pointed at his laptop. "Tera bank account check. Mom ne tujhe ten lakhs bheje. Ten lakhs."

"Huh-uhh-" he made weird sounds, trying to reason my statement. "Haan. Tho? Birthday ke liye bheja hai."

"Haan? Haan matlab kya? Mera bhi birthday hai na kal? Tu akela nahi paida hua thha. And Mom ne mere bank account me tho paanch laakh bhi nahi bhare kabhi."

"Savings ke liye hai," he did his best to look convincing. "And how're you so sure ki mai akela paida nahi hua thha? Tu chaahe tho mai abhi bhi tere adoption ke papers dikha sakta hoon."

I folded my hands and passed him a saccharine smile, "Chal, dikha hi de tu aaj mujhe." Spotting a white envelope on his desk, I continued. "Woh hai na mere adoption ke papers?"

Before I could even touch the envelope, Arnav placed his palm over it. "Nahi, ye kuchh nahi hai. It's nothing."

Nothing was always something. Obviously that spiked my interest, automating my evil grin that had always been reserved for him. "Kuchh tho hai yeh."

I reached out for the envelope again, eyes still trained on the. My index finger had just barely grazed the surface of the paper when Arnav's other hand closed around my wrist, shockingly tight. "I said it is nothing, Arvika. Har cheeze mein you don't have to poke your nose."

His voice was threateningly low, and that's what made something bubble up in my stomach, stopping me from prodding further.

"Arnav," I said, trying to free my wrist. "What's wrong?"

He didn't let go of my wrist, burning holes at the wall behind me. "Nothing. And for god sake, stop spying on your own goddamn brother."

"I wasn't trying to spy on you," I straightened up, freeing my hand from his tight grasp.

"Then yaha kyoo khadi hai?" He raised his voice. "Go to your room."

This obviously wasn't leading to one of our usual argument. Nothing was usual about the way he was speaking to me.

"What the hell is your problem, Arnav?!" I asked, unable to contain anymore. "Ye kya ho raha hai tujhe? Why are you so goddamn angry all the freaking time?"

"I am not angry, you're just irritating me-"

"-I am irritating you? You are being so secretive nowadays-"

"-Matlab tere alawa kisiko secrets rakhne ka haq nahi hai-"

"-see?! You're admitting it yourself that you are hiding something-"

"-mahh- maine aisa kuchh nahi bola-"

A throat cleared loudly, halting us in our positions instantly. I looked over my shoulder at the intruder standing at the door, awkwardly.

Vansh waved his phone at us. "I-uh, got your message," he spoke, looking at Arnav.

I snapped my head at my brother for clarification. Though things had calmed down between them over the past few months, they weren't exactly what they used to be. Arnav nodded at Vansh before giving me a hard stare, trying to make me back off.

That look, it worked.

I was not scared of him, but that look was an indication that right now was not the time. I walked back the way I had come in, not breaking off the stare-war, accidentally bumping into Vansh.
His hands came atop my shoulders to steady me. "Sorry," I apologised, not looking at him.

I closed the door behind me, but this was so not over.

At fifteen minutes to twelve, I switched off my phone and got under covers. Arnav had ruined my mood a lot to be excited for our seventeenth birthday anymore.

He could have told me what was troubling him. I could have helped him out if he was in trouble. He did not need to lie when he knew how terrible he was at that.

The unlocking noise of the door made me switch on my bedside lamp. Arnav padded in, standing near the foot of my bed.He looked apologetic, scratching his neck, but not saying anything. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Sorry."

I snorted, switched of the lamp and pulled the covers over my head.

"Yaar, Vika..."  He said remorsefully, "Sach mein, sorry na."

I felt the bed dip near my feet, but I was not going to give him the satisfaction of a response. I held the covers tightly.

"Behen maaf kar de na, please," I felt him tug on my bed sheet. "Galti ho gayi, tere saath waise nahi baat karunga fir kabhi. Promise."

Though my eyes were closed and he couldn't see me, I rolled my eyes.

"Yaar, iklothi behen hai tu meri. Iklotha bhai hoon mai tera- okay fine iklotha nahi hoon, Mikhael ko bhi tune raakhi baandhi thhi. Par hoon tho tere jigar ka tukda hi na?!"

Jigad ka tukda? I scrunched my nose, even his apologies were terrible.

"Mujhe pata hai tu jagi hui hai, tu itne jaldi nahi so sakti."

I didn't respond.

"Behen utth na!"

He had crawled up and had taken a seat on the left side of the bed. I had my back to him, but I could feel his presence near my face, as if he was waving his hand to wake me up. "Yaar, dus minute mein humara birthday hai. Kitne saalon baad do-do cakes khaane ko milenge, mera red velvet and tera black forest. Oh, and remember jab hum five years ke thhe tab Daadi mere liye Lego set and tere liye Hot Wheels layi thhi? And fir hum agli subah jhagadne lage thhe kyonki tujhe mera wala gift chahiye thha and mujhe tera wala? Par hum share karne ko ready nahi thhe? So Daadi ne hum dono ke gifts hi wapis le liye and kaha ki jab taq hum sharing nahi seekhte, tab taq humko humare gifts wapis nahi milne wale?"

I was smiling at the memory. Daadi was always the peace-maker. I remember Arnav and I made a pact that day, and pretended to be good kids the whole day. Of course it did not last for long, we couldn't go a day without fighting, but we realised that the more we shared and accumulated our toys, the more toys we actually had to play with. 

"And then do you remember second standard mein even though we had run out of chocolates to distribute at school, we had saved one for each other? Kyooki tujhe Munch chahiye thha aur mujhe Kit-Kat?"

My smile widened a tiny-bit.

"Fir fourth standard mein hum logo ne gifts exchange kiye thhe kyonki-"

"-kyonki mujhe Barbies pasand nahi thhe and tujhe apne Marvel super-hero dolls ke liye hasinaye chahiye thi. You were such a dork." I pulled my covers down, and sat up. He won.

He grinned watching me get up to sit properly, his teeth shining as bright as the moon outside. I smiled back. At that moment, everything was forgiven. Forgiven, but not forgotten. Memories were of all kinds, the good, the bad, the new and the old. 

He cleared his throat, reaching his hand inside his pocket, and producing a ring of keys. Grabbing my hand, he placed them in my palm and closed my fingers. They were the keys to our old flat. My mouth opened wide in surprise.

"And humare eleventh standard wale birthday mein, tu ise yaad rakh. Dad se baat kar lee hai maine. He said that yo-we cannot stay there until our boards are over, but we can go visit it or have sleep-overs there sometimes."

My shock was contagious, for he was shocked too when I pounced on him, hugging him like my life depended on him. "Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Thank you se kaam nahi chalne wala, mera gift nikaal."

I released him, narrowing my eyes at him. "Tujhe pata hai ki tu bohot matlabi ban raha aaj kal?"

He shrugged innocently, "Ab tujhse kuch tho seekhna padega na."

That earned him a hit on the shoulder. While he nursed his wound, I opened my bedside drawer, grabbing his gift which I never bothered to wrap.

He was surprised, I was proud. His expression was priceless as I placed his gift on his lap. "How-how did you know ki mujhe yeh chahiye thha?"

The camera lens, that he had been hungrily eyeing on online shopping sites was expensive, and he couldn't asked Dad for the money for obvious reasons. I had some amount saved, and his browser history hacked once a few months ago. Apart from making me cringe at the kind of videos he watched, it also gave me an idea on the type of gifts that he'd prefer.

I was learning to be a good sister, that's all.

"Tujhpe spy karke."

"Shut up, don't ruin my moment," he said dismissively, looking at the package from every dimension. The twinkle in his eyes was the exact representation of a kid during Christmas.

"Oh, you mean thank you so much Arvika, you're the best in the world. I know, I know," I smirked, playing with the keys in my hand.

However, Arnav couldn't enjoy his moment for too long, because exactly five seconds later, a horn blew, and the door to my room was thrown open once again.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

I jumped in surprise at the sudden noise, relief washing over me a second later as I spotted Ishita and the rest of the boys in their pyjamas, and not some robber pointing a gun at me.

Ishita had a cake in her hands, and it looked like it was home-made. As she placed the cake on the bed, in front of me and Arnav, the rest of the boys seated themselves on my bed too. Out of the six of us, Ritwik looked the most excited, as he kept blowing the party horn in our ears, but it  probably had more to do with the cake in front of us than our birthday.

"Quick," Ishita commanded, "Make a wish."

"But there are no candles," Karan pointed out.

"Shut up," she retorted. "Mai paanch taq gin rahi hoon, wish karo tum dono. And then cake kaato."

She handed us a knife each, the plastic kind that could break easily. I did not like the exchange between Vansh and Arnav though, which had gone unnoticed by the rest. It was happiness, it was remorse. It was guilt.

In the Deewan household, birthdays meant extravagant house parties, and extravagant house parties meant clients. Dad could fool others into believing that it was a token of adoration he had for us, but he did not need to pretend in front of us, and he knew that very well himself.

As he stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his tie and cuff links, getting ready for the night, he gave me clear instructions. I picked on the sleeves of my taupe coloured dress- Jolly Bua had selected the theme to be taupe and maroon, and had also in fact selected my birthday dress- and listened to my father drone out instructions for the night: Polite with the Mehras because another deal had been signed, polite with the Guptas because they might approach us for one. More than polite with the Sharmas because we needed to be in their good books. Don't forget to greet the Nairs, they have something coming up... The list was long, but I was used to it by now.

"...aur Arnav kaha hai?" He asked me, picking up his suit from the back of his chair. "Usko bolo ki mai bula raha hoon. Uske bank account mei ek unusual activity notice ki hai."

I nodded, pretending that I had no idea what he was talking about. I waited for him to dismiss me and walked to Arnav's room, knocking once before letting myself in.

"Arnav?" I called out. Only the sound of a running shower greeted me back. On the bed was a red and white brochure. I picked it up.

Rhode Island School of Design, USA.

That was strange. It was too early to fill out College Applications, and I had not even started browsing through my options yet. Another paper lay on top of his desk, this one had a decent theme.

The opening of Arnav's bathroom door stopped me before I could take a look at them though. "Oh, you're out," I said, keeping the brochure on the desk. "Papa bula rahe hai tujhe. Regarding your bank activity."

He walked to his wardrobe to get dressed. "Okay."

"And wear what Jolly Bua got us. Warna jeena mushqil kar dengi woh humara."

I did not catch what he muttered under his breath before going out to let him get dressed.

Mrs. Nair's fur business was thriving, but her husband was in Africa for the month, and hence couldn't make it to the party. Payal Sharma, the Sharma family's prodigy daughter was set to get married to a well known Gujarati businessman's son in Spain. Neeti Bahl's social media account was witnessing a major attention hike from Hollywood now. Conversation flew freely around, everyone was in a jovial mood. Mikhael had made some new friends too, and was playing hide and seek with four other kids.

"Arvika," Jolly Bua hissed. "Arnav kaha hai? Cake kaatna baaki hai."

I shrugged, holding the stem of the wine glass that was filled with Coke. I had not seen him for over two hours now. "Papa ke saath baat karne gaya tha do-theen ghante pehle."

"Fir usko dhundho and leke aao. Apne doston ko bhi bol do dhundhne ko."

As I disappeared upstairs in a look out for my brother, something felt wrong. Something was wrong. The air was thick and empty at the same time. It was too silent up here. I barged into Arnav's room first, only to find Vansh sitting on his bed, head held in his hands. He had come earlier, but I hadn't seen him downstairs with the others.

On hearing the clicking sound of my heels, he looked up. "Arvika-"

"Is something wrong? Arnav kaha hai?"

He rolled his lips in, but did not reply. I walked to the bathroom, but no one was inside. "Vansh? Arnav kaha hai?"

The desk was empty except for the brochure that I had kept there. His laptop was missing. Arnav's bag pack was not in it's usual spot. The room looked... empty.

"Vansh? Chup kyoo hai?!"

This was getting scary now. I walked out of the room in hurried steps, knocking on our father's room. He didn't mutter a come in, but I barged in anyway. The whole atmosphere was uncanny here.

Dad sat on his bed, clutching a piece of paper- the same paper I had seen earlier on Arnav's desk. "Dad?"

He didn't speak, crumpling the paper, and throwing it in a corner of the room,  in an agitated manner. 

"Dad?" I walked towards him, crouching down in front of him. "Is something wrong?"

His voice was low, too low, but I heard him. "He left. I can't even bring him back. He just- just left?"

It was difficult, difficult watching him so frustrated and helpless. Difficult putting two and two together.

The envelope that Arnav wouldn't let me touch. The brochure to a University and School in the US. The paper. The empty room. Arnav being anxious for months. The random phone-calls from Mr. Oberoi.

It was confusing.

I ran back to Arnav's room, bumping into others on my way.

"Arvika, is everything okay?"

It should have been. My heart was beating like crazy. I reached Arnav's desk, pulling open his drawers. No letters. No goodbyes. No hints.

Arnav Deewan had left us without a fucking word. 

"You knew about this," I pulled Vansh up, my hands fisting his collar, a sudden rage overpowering me. "You fucking knew about him running away!"

He didn't deny though. I kept yelling, while others tried pulling me away.

"Jaanti tho tu bhi thi," he said, straightening his shirt after I was pulled away. "You knew about Oberoi calling him. But did you do something?"

No. I trusted him instead. I actually started trusting my brother instead.

"He's not picking up," Karan announced, placing the phone on speaker. "The number you're trying to call-"

"Of course he won't!" I yelled at him as well. I couldn't contain the rage that had taken over me. I couldn't pin-point whether it was because of Arnav running away or Oberoi being the one to help him.

"Ca-call your Mom," Ishita suggested, fishing out my phone for me. "She might be knowing something."

Clutching the phone in one hand, I ran downstairs. I didn't pay attention to the stares, I didn't pay attention to Jolly Bua's frown, I just ran towards the front door. The phone kept ringing until it got directed to voice mail. The driver seated inside my car looked surprised when I opened the car door. "Uncle, Aiport chaliye, jal-"

"Arvika pagal ho gayi ho?" I was pulled back before I could take a seat. "Woh nikal chuka hai. He left two hours ago!"

"Why didn't you stop him then?!" I yelled at his face. "Tu thha na upar uske saathh? Why did you not fucking stop him?!"

Vansh didn't back down though. "Stop him? Are you serious? Peheli baar he had to guts to actually do what he wanted to do- tumhare Dad kabhi usko nahi pursue karne dete jo Oberoi karne de raha hai ussey!"

Raman Oberoi. He was behind all this, wasn't he? 

"Why? Why did he do this?" Ritwik asked. "Why did Raman Oberoi step in?" 

"Why do you think?" Vansh snapped at him. "Maanyata auntie ka beta hai Arnav." He turned to me, "But the point is Arvika, he is going to do what he had wanted to all along!"

But he left without a goddamn explanation. He was in my room last night- we were talking last night. We exchanged gifts last night- gift. The keys!

I rushed back into the house, not paying attention to them calling out my name. The party was still on, and even though few guests had watched my frenzy near the front door, I was not going to stop. I ran upstairs, taking two steps at a time, and reached my door, out of breath.        

Crouching down in front of my bedside drawer, I yanked it open. There was no way that Arnav Deewan would do this to me- after all we had been through, when I had finally started to accept him back into my life.

There is a way. And what scares me the most... is that I might just take it.

Arnav's words rang in my ears as I pushed the door to his old room open. The tube light flickered twice. When the light finally shone, the five of us entered his room. A layer of dust had coated Arnav's vision wall. We stood in front of it, observing the new addition. A Polaroid. Speaking a thousand word. Not offering any explanation. 

But we were now realising his reasons. I, out of everyone, should have known.  

Some of us don't even have access to the steering wheel.

He wanted that access, he wanted the control. He did not want what what Dad wanted from him, for him. He just couldn't do it anymore. 

"Do you think Uncle will bring him back?" Ishita asked, observing the picture of Arnav smiling at the camera. It was a shy smile, the smile we rarely ever saw. He was a confident person. And now gutsy too. 

"I don't know," I replied honestly. "But I don't think he would."

An undecipherable silence filled the room. We were trying to accept the situation. I stepped forward, unpinning the Polaroid from the vision wall. 

"He's such a goof," Karan commented. I turned the Polaroid over. Indeed he had scrawled something.

Didn't we always anticipate this might happen? Don't make me feel guilty, okay? I've thought about it. For months. In front of you guys, away from your guys. Dad has someone more capable than me, and I don't want to deliver halfheartedly. Deep in your heart, you always knew. 

He was right. Deep in our hearts, all of us knew. The heart always knew. 

T H E   E N D

_____

NAMOSHTAII!

Oh my god. I want to cry so bad. I cannot believe this is actually over.  OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY COMPLETED DIL JAANTA HAI. I WANT TO SCREAM RIGHT NOW. WE DID IT GUYS!!! Eighteen months, this book took eighteen months to be completed. Of course editing round 2, 3 and 4 will be commencing soon, BUT WE DID IT GUYS!

I know most of you aren't happy with the ending. Most of you wanted the 'cliche' happy ending, but deep in your heart, you knew this might happen, right? I mean, if you ask me, this is a win-win ending, everyone gets what they want- except for Daddy Dearest maybe. 

Also, I apologise for not sticking to the schedule. I am a day late, and I regret not doing this yesterday, I am really, really sorry. 

#diljannachahega will be published approximately ten days from today. So go ahead and comment all the questions you have for the characters- any character for that matter. The questions can be of any kind, relating or not relating to the story. Either make an inline comment here, or use #diljannachahega so that I don't miss out on your question. 

Another Acknowledgements chapter will be published shortly, either today or tomorrow. I just want to thank EVERYONE who made it till here, for being with me and supporting me throughout the book. All the information regarding the sequel will be out soon too, so if you wish to remove this book from your library, make sure to archive it :)

 Edit: And the song in the description above, god I realised later that how fitting it is to the whole ending. And hence, the dedication.

(I REALLY CANNOT BELIEVE THAT DIL JAANTA HAI IS NOW COMPLETE. GOD I AM OVERWHELMED. June 15, 2019.)

For the last time- read, vote, comment, and promote.

~chaashnee