||CHAPTER 71||
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The glow from my laptop lit up the entire room. Coiled up inside a blanket, I focused on the video playing on the screen. W was an interesting series, and I had no regrets skipping the pool party. It was three in the morning, which meant that it was still raging up on the roof top, but all the revelation had killed the buzz for me.

I had not seen Ishita since the encounter last afternoon, and I was glad that she had avoided coming up to change for the party. I was not ready to face them with charming smiles and contemptuous intentions yet.

The tub of ice-cream that the room-service had delivered ten minutes ago was not healthy, but it was comfort food at it's best. My tongue played with the spoon, while my eyes were trained on the subtitles. It was difficult to concentrate on them when Lee Jong Suk frequented the screen so many times.

A sudden tug on my earphones forced a gasp out of me, while my eyes tried adjusting to the lack of light around me. The glare from the screen fell on the intruder, ruining my mood instantly. "What the hell, Ritwik?

"You said ki tu thodi der mein ayegi upar," he presented me with an equally irritated frown. "Arnav kabse tujhe call kar raha hai. Phone kisliye hai tere paas?"

I rolled my eyes, tapping on the mouse pad of my laptop to pause the video. "Kya chahiye usko?"

"Roshni se chhutkara," he replied, grabbing my tub of comfort food. "Tu yaha akele-akele hi khaa rahi hai?"

I picked up another spoon and offered it to him. He snatched it out of my hand without wasting a second. "Memory card Arnav ke camera equipment bag me hoga. Le and dafa ho yaha sey."

"Tu upar kyoo nahi aa rahi?" He asked, taking a seat on my bed instead. "Everyone's having so much fun!"

I sat facing him, dipping my spoon into the chocolate heaven.

"Agar tere periods chal rahe hai then you don't have to swim. Bas upar aaja na, have some fun. Or is it something from the Shimla Camp too? Tu itna kyoo badal rahi hai?"

"Aisa nahi hai," I replied lowly. It would be a lie if I said I was not excited about the pool-party in the morning.

"Fir aise Asian porn kyoo dekh rahi hai? Agar chingo log pasand hai tho bolna mujhe, setting karwa deta hoon mai tera Dhruv ke saath. Assam se hai but dikhta unke tarah hai."

"What?" I tried comprehending his words. "Eww, no! Kaisi behuda baatein kar raha hai tu?!"

"Arey, chill maar. Offer hi kar raha hoon," he shrugged before messily spooning out ice-cream.
"I'm just saying ki upar aake hamare saath mazey le. Ye shows tu baadme bhi dekh sakti hai. Ishita ne bhi bade mushqil se ham sab ke trip pe jhagde hone se sambhala hai, aise paani mein mat dubo apne bestie ki mehnat ko- and I wasn't supposed to say that, shit."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Arey, chill maar. Galti se, mujhe sab pata chal gaya hai."

If I hadn't known better, I would have assumed he was suffering a brain-freeze. He stopped all his actions, with his mouth open wide and spoonful of ice-cream halfway inside. A moment later he closed his mouth and wiped the spoon clean. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." I fixed my spoon inside the ice-cream tub.

"Kab pata chala?"

"Dopahar ko."

"Yaar..." He did not know what to reply. "We did not want to hide it from you."

"But you did not want me to know either," I shrugged. "I mean, it's cool. I'm just wondering why was no one coming out with it. Koi badi baat nahi honi chahiye yeh, right?"

"But..." he did not meet my eyes. "Badi baath tho hai na. Kisi se chhupi nahi hai ki Vansh tujhe pasand karta tha, tu Vansh ko pasand karti thi. Tum dono kaafi... frank thhe is baremey?"

I wished I could scoff, but it was a matter of honesty.

"Say something, Arvika."

I licked my lips, played with the sleeves of my shirt. "I don't know whether I am hurt or not, you know. Gussa mujhe is baat ka aa raha hai ki... ki mujhe affect ho raha hai. Not at what happened between me and Vansh, not that. Uske repercussions se mujhe problem ho rahi hai, Ritwik."

"I'm sorry. Mujhey tujhe pehele bata dena chahiye tha."

"Ye, this is what I am talking about!" I folded my left leg, putting a wisp of hair behind my ear. "Ye khauf, ye darr. Tum logo ne mujhse chhupayi unki contract ki baat, I'll admit mujhe bura laga, but rationally speaking, that's fine. Vansh aur maine bhi tum logo ko nahi bataya thha na about what happened, or rather, did not happen between us? Shimla jaane se pehele tum sabko pata tha ki kuchh tho hua hai hamarey beech, and kuchh bada hua hai. Itna bada ki Arnav bhi Vansh ke muhh nahi lag raha thha. So even if mujhey bura lage, I have to deal with it. It should be okay, and tujhe aisa nahi feel hona chahiye ki tujhe mujhey pehele bata dena chahiye thha."

Finally raising his head up to look me in the eye, he asked. "Tho tujhey konsi baat itni khatak rahi hai?"

"Aaj dopahar ko Vansh and Ishita were arguing about this issue, neeche Rathod ke office ke paas. I walked in on them and I heard them and... I was trying to control, you know, like breathing in and out wala control, until Ishita almost admitted that the reason why she couldn't bring herself to tell me about this is because she was afraid I might ruin her!"

The ice cream in the tub was more liquid than it was solid. I was bad, but I was hoping I was not so cruel.

"Do you hate her?"

"The bigger problem here is that I understand her reasons."

And that wasn't a lie. There were times I had heard her arguing with her parents. Seen her trying too hard at business get-togethers. Struggle to keep up with the stock-market.

I wiped my eyes before I could embarrass myself further. "I'm sorry for ruining your night. You should go up, have fun. I'll be alright."

"I'm not used to you apologising, okay?" He said after a while, a little less than stunned. "And it'll be fun only when merey saarey friends normal ho- wait no. That sounded wrong, kyooki tum me se koi normal nahi hai. But, okay, whatever, you get the drift na?"

Smiling slightly, I nodded.

"Ek cheez bolu?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck. "School me uss din you told Vansh that it will be awkward only if you make it so."

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement. "And we don't need to do so."

"I respect you. If that is what you really stick by, I honestly respect you. Out of context hai ye, pata hai, but I just felt like you needed to know that."

Out of words, I bit the inside of my cheek. I wasn't used to people saying that to me.

"Ab yeh ice-cream Bournvita wala doodh ban chuka hai," his attention shifted to the tub between us. "Tho... ek aur mangwaye?"

I changed my mind. We did not have to make it awkward. Avoiding never helped anyone. "Nope. Let's get that goddamn party started." Re-energised, I stood up and picked up the outfit that Ishita had selected for me in the morning.

"Party do ghante pehele hi shuru ho gayi thi," he reminded me.

"Don't kill my buzz."

The vibrating thrum of the loud music could be felt outside the doors that led to the pool party.
Ritwik pushed the doors open and led us into the roof-top. It was crazy inside, as crazy as it could get without adult supervision. The pool bar was crowded, and so was the pool. Every corner was a drunken secret confession, just the place I usually preferred at such parties. Of course people thought I could ruin them.

"Yatis ka ek branch Delhi mein bhi hai na?" Ritwik shouted over the loud music.

"Noida to be exact. Kyu?"

"Pehel kabhi fir aisi party kyu nahi di tune hame?" He pouted, guiding me towards our friends. "Avni, yo bro!"

Avni sat in between Karan and Ishita. I had not really spoken to her much throughout the trip, she was one of those nerds who followed Ms. Negi and the tour guide everywhere. "Hello, Ritwik. Arvika!" She stood up to hug me. I was not expecting the sudden affection from her, but I was okay with it.

"Hey," I patted her back, waiting for her to let go of me. "Enjoying?"

She nodded, pulling out of the sudden hug. "Yeah. This place is amazing. Kudos to you for pulling this off."

"Thank you," I said, proceeding towards the vacant seat beside Ishita. We did not need to make it awkward.

She tensed up, but did not acknowledge me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her. "Yaha par Vansh baittha thha kya?"

I meant it as a joke, it didn't come out as a joke.

"Arvika-" she started.

"Oh, Avni," I cut-off. "Ms. Negi ne sabko email bheja hai ek. Wo jo seminar parso hone wala thha na, woh kal subah gyara bajeh se hoga. Tum ham sabko represent kar rahi ho na?"

"Haan," she frowned. "But maine apna mail hi check nahi kiya. Kab bheja Ma'am ne?" She fished out her phone.

"Raath ko hi aya thha. Mai neeche thi tho maine dekh liya."

Her eyes trained on the email I was talking about, and she let out a chuckle. "Subah sabke baara bajne waleh hai. Galat din party rakh lee yar."

A little later, she wandered off with Ritwik and Karan, leaving Ishita and me alone.

"I did not want to do this to you," her voice shook. "I swear Arvika, mera intention tujhe hurt karne ka nahi thha. Dad ki company loss me jaa rahi thi, didi ka bhi career kick start nahi ho raha hai, and ghar mein everyone kept saying how I was not doing my fair share, about how Binoy Uncle was celebrating your success... and I was not deserving..."

I zoned her out for a minute. Forced her voice into the buzzing music, into the background. The dance-floor was away from the pool, and had four pillars at its four corners. Since it was a pool party, no one was at the dance floor. A shining silver disco ball hung from the ceiling. "Mujhse zyada hurt tu lag rahi hai."

She was quite for a while. Sniffing back the tears threatening to spoil her mascara.

"I'm sorry Arvika. I wish I could change everything."

"You know," I told her honestly, "You were right. I feel like ruining everything. But nahi kar paa rahi yaar, because I understand your reasons. I've seen you struggle with your family, and you've seen me struggle with mine, and it is difficult for me to just forget things like that now. It's not easy, it fu<king hurt, Ishita."

She nodded. In understanding? In relief? I'd never know. Voice thick, she replied. "I know it's not a forgive and forget situation."

"Thank you?"

"But I don't want you to not forgive me."

I was pondering over it. Wondering whether she, like me, was an honest liar too. Wondering whether our friendship was worth exploiting her weakness.

In the end, I decided I didn't want to.

____

Namoshtaii!

Well, would you have forgiven Ishita? Formalities are such bleary lines. 

Anyhoo, tomorrow's Friday which means another update today. I'm taking music lessons from my Dad, and well, playing the guitar all day long. And oh, next chapter might be a little short because well, I don't know, it needs to be that way I guess. Like the aftermath? I'm speaking non-sense right now, excuse me please, just really sleepy now. 

Well, read vote comment and promote!

~chaashnee