chapter 15
show yourself

The next morning, Dylan woke with a smile on her face. She had a boyfriend who loved her and the best friends a person could ever ask her. Her smile didn't last long when she remembered what Maddox told her and EJ the night before.

But she couldn't dwell on it, because, despite it being opening night, it was also Ricky's eighteenth birthday, and all of them had agreed to wake him up together for his birthday. Dylan slipped out of her bed and put on some shoes before following the other girls out.

Dylan quietly entered the Yurt Locker cabin, followed by Ashlyn, Kourtney, Maddox (Gina wasn't there for her own personal reasons). As she came in, her eyes went to EJ. Dylan sent him a smile, moving to stand by him.

She then averted her gaze up to the birthday boy. All the other boys in the cabin were awake as well, and the whole group had gathered around Ricky's figure. Dylan tilted her head to the side, the boy looked like a sleeping Disney character – laying straight on his back with his hands resting on his stomach.

"Okay, I'm gonna count to three." Carlos announced.

"On three or after three?" Kourtney asked.

"Not this again."

Maddox ignored literally everything. "Happy birthday!"

At once, every single one of them repeated the phrase excitedly. Ricky, clearly not expecting the loud noise, started to scream and thrash around in his bed. Dylan let out a small laugh at the boy.

"And happy opening night to those keeping score." EJ said. "Our show might be in danger, but right now, our focus is Ricky."

Ricky chuckled and sat up in his bed. "Guys, you shouldn't have. For real, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"You're an old man now?" Jet questioned.

"But wait, there's more." Carlos revealed as Ricky got out of bed.

Ashlyn blinked in confusion. "There is?"

"Come on in. Your best friend is old enough to vote."

Big Red then came through the door, holding Ricky's birthday cake and at the sight of him Dylan's mouth dropped before morphing to a large smile. "Please tell me these bunks are air-conditioned."

Ashlyn stared at him in shock. "Biggie?"

Ricky pulled Big Red in for a hug. "Of course you showed up."

"We've spent every birthday together since preschool." Big Red insisted.

"Yeah. And of course you brought a lotto ticket."

"Brought a what now?"

"A lotto ticket?" Ricky repeated. "It's the last thing on my bucket list. That's why you're here, right?"

"You walked the moon?" Big Red questioned.

"He actually did it all this summer." Jet interrupted, taking a step forward. "I'm Jet. Who are you?"

Big Red put the cake down on the table in the cabin. "Hi, I'm Ashlyn's boyfriend."

"My friend first." Ricky muttered in annoyance, making Dylan shake her head in amusement.

Ricky then started to push through the crowd. "Excuse me."

Jet turned the cake around so the writing was facing Ricky. "Make a wish."

Ricky looked at them all, glancing at all of their face as if he was looking for someone in particular. He shook his head and closed his eyes, blowing out the candle on the cake. They all cheered, clapping before deciding to leave the boy alone.

Dylan walked across the grass by herself for a moment, about to go back to Honeycomb, when she saw Ashlyn pull Big Red around. Dylan watched him for a moment. She had missed the boy so much this summer. The group dynamic had always been Nini, Ricky, Dylan and Big Red, ever since they were young, but with the whole Ricky and Nini situation the dynamic had shifted and now, at camp, their group was missing half of its members, and everything felt incomplete and off balance.

And Dylan needed Big Red's unwavering support right about now.

"Hey, Red." Dylan called.

Big Red turned to look at her. "Hey, D. You okay?"

Dylan didn't say anything, just surging forward to wrap her arms around him. She pulled him closer, hugging him as tightly as possible. Big Red was momentarily stunned before he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I've missed you." Dylan whispered into his shoulder.

"I've missed you too." Big Red responded. "You sure everything is okay?"

"Just stuff with Gina." Dylan shook her head.

"Oh, what happened?" Big Red asked, his voice full of concern. "I'll beat her up for you."

"You won't beat her up." Dylan stated.

"I won't." Big Red responded. "But I can send her a strongly worded letter."

Dylan let out a small laugh. This is why she needed the boy.

"Hey Dyl." Maddox called, the girl spinning to face her.

Dylan smiled at her. "Hey, Maddox. What's up?"

"It's tradition that we all get a camp nickname, so I'm handing them out to everyone."

"Okay." Dylan nodded, letting out a small sigh. "And what's mine."

"Phoenix."

Dylan's eyebrows knit in confusion. "Phoenix? Like the place?"

"No, like the animal." Maddox explained. "I've noticed that no matter what happens, and how many times someone tries to knock you down, or you try to knock yourself down, you always rise up from the ashes like a Phoenix."

"I come back stronger than a 90s trend." Dylan joked.

"Exactly." Maddox nodded. "Plus, Phoenix's are associated with the sun and I associate you with the sun too."

Dylan let a smile spread across her face before she reached forward and pulled Maddox into a tight hug. "Thank you, Gadget."

Maddox hugged her back tightly. "No problem, Phoenix."

Dylan pulled back and squeezed Maddox's shoulder before waving goodbye to Big Red and turning to walk back to Honeycomb. She took a few steps when someone stopped her once again.

"Dylan!" A voice exclaimed.

She turned. Approaching her was Emmy, the girl who was playing the young version of Elsa – and, in other words, the young version of Dylan.

"Can I bother you?"

"You never bother me, Em." Dylan reassured her. "What's wrong?"

"What if I get up there tonight and forget how to sing?" Emmy stressed.

Dylan smiled. "Look, I feel the same. It's terrifying. And I'm not gonna sit here and pretend like I've done this before either. But, Emmy, you have such heart and a voice to match it."

"When I sing alone, I sound okay."

"That's the thing. You're never alone, especially not here. We all have setbacks but theatre is family. You just have to trust the process. We're all here for you and no one is gonna be upset if anything goes wrong, which it won't."

Emmy smiled up at her and nodded.

"Aw." A very familiar voice commented from behind Dylan.

Dylan's eyes widened as she turned around, only to see Miss Jenn standing there. "Miss Jenn?"

"Happy opening night!"

Miss Jenn extended her arms out. Dylan let out a small laugh of amazement and wrapped her arms around her teacher, hugging her tight.

"Hi!" Dylan greeted, pulling away slightly. "I didn't know if you were coming back or not."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world." Miss Jenn stated.

Dylan glanced back at Emmy and placed her hand on her shoulder. "Miss Jenn, I have someone that I'd like for you to meet. This is Emmy."

"I play young Dylan." Emmy explained.

"Then you are very lucky." Miss Jenn told her, locking eyes with Dylan momentarily, who grinned. She reached forwards and took Emmy's hands. "Now go out there and find your voice."

Dylan nodded her head, thinking for a moment. She suddenly realised, she, herself needed to find her own voice too. Dylan had been scared of tonight ever since she got casted because she didn't know who she wanted to be, but she was now realising that it wasn't that she didn't know who she wanted to be, it was the fact that she still hasn't found her voice.

Dylan smiled, turning and walking back towards Honeycomb once more, and suddenly it was as if she was walking in slow motion. "Every inch of me is trembling but not from the cold."

She walked into Honeycomb looking around at all her friends, bustling around. "Something is familiar, like a dream I can reach but not quite hold. I can sense you there, like a friend I've always known. I'm arriving and it feels like I am home."

The girl sat on her bed, looking at all of her photos as she sang before looking at the photo of herself she had hung up. "I have always been a fortress, cold secrets deep inside. You have secrets, too, but you don't have to hide. Show yourself. I'm dying to meet you. Show yourself, it's your turn. Are you the one I've been looking for all of my life? Show yourself, I'm ready to learn. Ah-ah, ah-ah."

It was almost like some out there force echoed back at her. Dylan had always felt something was missing from her life. She thought it was her mum when she was younger but now she knows it's something different... something bigger.

Dylan stood up from her bed, leaving Honeycomb once more and walking around camp. "I've never felt so certain, all my life I've been torn. But I'm here for a reason, could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different, normal rules did not apply. Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?"

Dylan began walking towards the barn. "Show yourself I am no longer trembling. Here I am, I've come so far. You are the answer I've waited for all of my life." Dylan stepped onto the stage, standing in the middle as a single spotlight came down on her. "Oh, show yourself. Let me see who are. Come to me now, open your door. Don't make me wait one moment more. Oh, come to me now. Open your door. Don't make me wait, one moment more."

Dylan held the long note, as the rest of her theatre crew stepped out of the shadows. "Where the north wind meets the sea, there's a river, full of memory."

"Come, my darling, homeward bound." Evelyn stepped out of the shadows, standing next to Dylan on centre stage.

"I am found." Dylan belted.

"Show yourself, step into your power. Throw yourself into something new." Eve sang.

"You are the one you've waiting for, all of your life."

"All of my life."

"Oh, show yourself." They sang together.

"Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah." Dylan stopped singing, everyone disappearing so it was just here on the stage. She let out a small breath, she could do this. She was the missing piece, she just had to believe in herself.

After a while of running her own lines alone, Dylan decided to make her way to the canteen, that had been transformed into a dressing room. She had Elsa's blue dress on with the pink cape and her was put up into a bun as best as it could, considering it's short length.

She stared back at her reflection in the mirror, trying to not panic. The nervousness was creeping up inside of her again. Her hand was holding the lipstick she had just applied when someone appeared behind her. Dylan set the lipstick down and gave EJ a smile through the mirror.

"Hey." EJ greeted softly. "You okay?"

"I'm good." Dylan nodded.

"You're lying." EJ stated with a knowing look. Dylan let out a small sigh as he smiled. "Good thing I have this."

The boy held her phone in front of her, having clearly stolen it off of her at some point without her realising. He went onto the videos, clicking on the most recent one and pressing play.

"Hey Dyl!" Eve exclaimed, through the phone.

"Hi sweetheart." Her phone added. "You are going to be fantastic tonight."

"Do not stress. We believe in you and your incredible talent." Eve nodded.

"We love you so much. Good luck." Seb finished and video went black.

Dylan smiled before she leant back and rested her head against EJ's chest. "I'm freaking out."

"Greetings, theatre child." Channing stated, walking into the canteen. Dylan rolled her eyes and looked over at him. "Listen up. You see this camera? There are another ten of them planted throughout the theatre. It all comes down to tonight, okay? Big news announcement." He chuckled for a moment. "We will be live streaming tonight's Frozen performance on Disney Plus in order to drum up interest in our documentary."

Dylan eyes widened, standing up in shock and suddenly she felt sick to her stomach.

Carlos literally screamed.

Channing pointed at him. "Save the scream for on stage, snowman. When you find out your carrot's been replaced by a stick of dynamite."

"No." Carlos stated.

"Dude, what are you talking about?" Ricky asked.

"I—I may throw a few things at you guys, last minute." Channing revealed. "It's—It's fun stuff to shake up the show."

"You mean, different than how we rehearsed it?" Gina asked.

"You guys were so great that last rehearsal, remember? We need that, but more, okay? So just change some dialogue, slap each other, you know, pull some wigs off. It's fun to amp up the livestream, right?"

EJ cleared his throat. "We can do that."

Dylan looked over at him in confusion, her eyes narrowed.

"What?" All of them chorused.

"No, we will do that." EJ corrected.

"Excellent." Channing voiced. "Okay. Have fun, all right? At each other's expenses." He laughed. "And if you aren't trending in Brazil at midnight, you haven't done you jobs, okay? Yay!"

Dylan glared at his figure as he left the canteen. "I'm going to kill him."

Ricky stared at EJ. "Why would you say that?"

"Elton!" Carlos shouted. "Even I think we shouldn't pull each other's wigs off."

"Exactly." Ashlyn agreed.

"Dude, we're not doing this!" Ricky insisted.

"Settle down." EJ ordered.  "You guys, I—I was acting, okay? To get that jerk off our backs."

"You sure."

"Ricky." Dylan scolded, shooting him a glare.

"Channing may know what makes a good TV show, but we're theatre kids." EJ said. "And we're gonna do tonight our way. Final decision."

All of them agreed. Dylan swallowed nervously for a moment.

"Hey, Eej." Dylan questioned.

"Yeah?"

"I don't think I'm breathing right now."

"Listen to me." EJ placed his hands on her shoulders. "You are going to be incredible and I'll will be there every step of the way."

Dylan let out a breath and nodded. "Okay." Her eyes then widened. "Wait, if we're not trending in Brazil, won't your dad—"

"That's tomorrow's problem." EJ waved it off.

Dylan nodded as he walked off to continue getting ready. She took a deep breath before continue she continued getting ready. The half-hour call came quicker than she liked and suddenly it felt as if she couldn't breathe – she needed Nini right now.

She left the canteen quickly, picking her dress up and rushing back to Honeycomb. She sat on her back, head in her hands and she tried to regulate her breathing, unaware that she was missing the show.

She couldn't do it so she got into her bed, pulling her duvet up to her shoulders. After a while, the door opened, Gina rushing inside.

"There you are. Alex and Emmy are killing it on stage." Gina spoke, moving to sit on the bed. "Why are you hiding in here?"

"Um." Dylan cleared her throat. "I'm kind of freaking out. I've always suffered from slight anxiety but it's never been this bad. And this show has to be perfect or EJ isn't gonna stay in Salt Lake and..."

"Hey, what happened to the girl who sang an original song at auditions last year, the girl who isn't afraid of anything?" Gina asked.

"I left that girl at auditions and all the other times I've been faking." Dylan stated. "These things, they don't go away, so..."

"Hey. I'm gonna be out there. With you." Gina told her. "No matter what happens between us. I'm still your sister, right?"

"Sisters." Dylan nodded, smiling slightly.

Gina stood back up and tugged on Dylan's hands. "Now, come on. We have a show to do."

( 💌 ) isobel's notes
i changed emmy so she plays mini elsa
because COME ON she's basically mini
dylan like be fr
my baby girl is so cute singing her heart out
big red and dylan my favs
also phoenix a great camp name