I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I cant tell if I'm depressed or happy right now. I don't want to take my medicine,  but it's tearing me apart.
I wish my friend was here, someone who actually cared. She thinks I matter, but why can't I?  I want to get better, but pain is all I know. It would be underestimated if I said I was scared. Because I'm more than scrared. I'm terrified. Why can't they just leave me alone. Stop yelling at me. Go away. I don't know what to do anymore. I just cant. I just can't take it. Go away.  I want to die. But I dont. Why am I so confused? I just want to lay down and never get up. I want to sleep forever,  it seems like when I'm awake, the only thing I do it screw everything up. What's up with all the secrets? Just stop. Go away. Stay away from me. Don't fucking touch me. Stop it. I'm shaking. I can't breathe. What the fuck? Don't touch me. Don't stand next to me. Don't talk to me. Go away. Get out. Stop. Just stop