Its sad that you get used to pain, and its sad that you feel it. I'm fucked up in the head and can't think straight. I hate it when people tell me its just a phase and you'll be Alright, don't they see it pisses me off? Sometimes I don't even feel anything, its called being numb. All I can do is sit there and be tempted by the blade I keep hidden under my bed. I turned it in to my dad and sworn I didn't do anything. In the shower, I can't help but hate my body and think its disgusting. I can't cut, and I can't take drugs. Sometimes I think I'm a emotionless bastard who isn't even worth looking at, I'm like one of those people you see walking down the side walk and never think twice about. I hate how I cry myself to sleep every night, pity in my families eyes. I hate how I yell at my brother and act the way I do. I just want to be normal for once. Im tired all the time and hungry, but that gives me even more if a reason to starve myself. I'm always causing the air to change when I walk in a class. People hate me because I'm a selfish, rude,ugly,stupid girl that takes it out on others. If you knew me, you'd hate me. Reading is my only escape and that's when I'm not mean, its when I can let my guard down and breathe a little bit. But most of all, I love the people who at least they to understand me.