After a year and a half

Jungkook's Pov:

"No."

I stared into my son's eyes, unable to believe he had said no. "Nam-il, you must finish eating so that we can pick up your sister? The last thing we want is to be late picking her up."

While he wiped his messy palms into the front of his shirt, he stared back at me with his daring eyes. He was just a baby, but I knew he knew what was going on. "No." He repeats, smiling as he blows bubbles with his spit.

I breathed in deeply, sitting down on the table next to me, placed his food down on the table, and got up, holding him close to me, "that's it, back to the shower you go."

"No."

I ignored him; no, dog and dada were the only words he seemed to know, as that's all he said most of the time, so I didn't take it personally, since he was a baby who didn't know anything. However, I found it quite difficult to explain this to his sister when he broke her project for school. While I tried to tell her as a baby, she made a mess too and did many things as well, but she refused to believe me, and she was convinced he had it out for her.

I gave him his second bath for the day after taking him to the bathroom, put him in his clothes, and left the house twenty minutes later than I had hoped. I hope traffic won't delay me as I hate arriving late to pick up Ae Ri; although it happens rarely, it has happened a few times in the last year.

Nam-il fell asleep immediately as we pulled out of the driveway. He was known to do this very often, always to fall asleep once we started moving. In the car, I never had to worry about him being up and fussing. Since the day I got the green light to take him home from the hospital after spending three months there, he had been that way. No matter how long I drove, he would sleep the entire journey, but as soon as I stopped, he would wake up. A fascinating child, he was undoubtedly a blessing because every day I think about what could've been, but he never gave up and grew into a healthy baby.

In the end, I was extremely pleased to arrive at Ae Ri's school just on time because she had just left the school building and was walking toward the pickup spot, and I had arrived before her.

Looking around in the back, Nam-il was staring directly at me from the back seat, eyes open and chewing on two fingers with his mouth open. I smiled and shook my head at him as I knew very well that he would be sound asleep once we started driving again.

Ae Ri began getting closer to the car, and I exited the car from the driver's side and ran to the passenger's side to open the door for her. "How's my favorite daughter doing?" I asked her as I pulled her into a hug.

After returning my hug, she giggled, "I'm doing good. Did you bring me anything special?"

While shaking my head sadly, I mentioned, "I was running behind schedule and didn't get a chance to stop on the way here, but I will stop on the way to your therapist."

"It's okay, daddy, and we can stop on the way."

Always so understanding, I leaned down and gave a kiss on the forehead, "thank you, and sorry about that. Go ahead and get into the car; let's leave here now."

I ran back to the driver's side of the car and put on my seatbelt after getting into the car, and then I waited for Ae Ri to settle into her seat.

"Are you swamped with homework today? Do you have a lot to do?"

"There's not a lot, I finished one at lunch, and I still have two to go."

"Okay, that's good you don't have a lot today; I am available if you need me to help you." In most recent weeks, the teacher had given her a lot of homework, which I couldn't understand why so much, but hearing she didn't have much today made me happy, for rather than staying up late to finish homework, she needs to rest and sleep well.

I glanced up at her, and she smiled, "I know, but they are simple, dad. I am the big girl now, remember."

With a chuckle, I shake my head; my little girl really believes she is grown up. As I was about to drive off when I realized she wasn't wearing her seatbelt, "Ae Ri, sweetie, put on your seatbelt, please."

"Oh." She said, tugging at it and securing it across her, "I forgot."

"That's not something you can forget Ae Ri; you know that-"

"Dad, I know, I know, I am sorry." She whispered out with tears in her eyes, causing me to take a deep breath. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have yelled like that; please make sure you don't forget the importance of wearing your seatbelt. We almost lost your brother and your Appa-"

"Dad, please, I know; I said I am sorry, okay."

I nodded my head, "okay, I'm sorry, Princess." I saw tears streaming down her cheeks.

As she let out a cry, wiping away her tears, she blurted out, "Please, take me to Dr. Liz. I don't want to eat anything anymore."

"I hope I didn't upset you, Ae Ri."

As we drove, she didn't say anything to me. I knew I overreacted, and perhaps I should have taken a kinder tone towards her.

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?"

While she shook her head to answer my question, she didn't speak any words to me, making me sad.

"I am sorry, Ae Ri, next time, I will talk instead of yell, okay?"

She remained silent again when I attempted to speak to her, so I decided not to say anything more, and I drove her to the therapist, where after her session, I couldn't wait to hear what she didn't like about what I had done. Afterward, I am sure she will tell me what she wants to say.

Once we arrived at the office, I took Nam-il out of the car, carrying him in my arms, followed by Ae Ri walking with us. After I signed her in at the front desk, I waited with her until Dr. Liz called her, then I bid my goodbyes and went out into the parking lot to wait with Nam-il.

"Your sister seems to be upset with me. It wasn't my intention to yell at her earlier, but I wanted to make sure she understood how important it is to wear her seatbelt. In the same way, that also goes for you. Right now, you are in a car seat, but when you are no longer in one, I want you to always wear a seatbelt in the car no matter where you are seated. Do you understand what I mean?" I asked, staring at Nam-il, who I was holding in my arms. He was only staring back at me with wide eyes, as he played with his fingers, "of course you cannot understand right now because you are far too young to understand. Still, one day you will, and you will so realize that you are here today by a miracle because some days I-I don't know, but I am so happy that even while so young you were a fighter, please continue being like that, okay?"

Obviously, Nam-il could not understand any of what I was saying, but every time I looked at him, seeing how far he had come, walking, talking, and being a normal baby made me happy. He was an extremely special child, he may not be aware, but he was one, as I am sure his Appa would agree with me.

It was no time before I received a call from Dr. Liz saying that Ae Ri was ready, so I went with Nam-il to see her and hear about Ae Ri's session with her. Having heard how well Ae Ri is doing and that she has started being more open with Liz, both in terms of her feelings and progress, I was pleased to hear. There have been many changes in her since he started going to Dr. Liz, and I felt that it was well worth it for her that she had someone outside of her family that she could express herself to, especially after everything that had happened. Ae Ri needed an outlet to let out some of the things she couldn't vocalize even if she wanted to. The process was hard, as there was still much I had to struggle with, and I had to fight daily to let go of the past and focus on the future.

"Dad, can I say something?" Ae Ri looked up at me as we walked out of Dr. Liz's office and towards the parking lot.

"Sure, what's up?"

When she takes a deep breath, I stop and be sure to give her full attention. "Earlier in the car, I know I forgot to put on my seatbelt, and it made you worried a lot, but would you please not yell at me again like that. You make me feel afraid whenever you do that because I feel as if something bad might happen if you do that to me. I don't want to feel that way when I am in a car. My promise is that I will remember this from now on, but if I forget to do it, say, "Ae Ri to fasten your seatbelt, it's for your own safety, and I will do it immediately, okay?"

Smiling at her, I nod, "of course, princess, I will do that, and I am sorry for yelling earlier; I shouldn't have done that. I know you are a smart girl, and you know the right thing to do."

When she leaned in to hug me, tears welled in my eyes as I tried to free one of my hands to hug her back; it was the happiest feeling to have a daughter like Ae Ri. She calmed so many storms unknowingly.

"What's for dinner? I am hungry."

"We will pick something up on the way home; what do you want?"

******

Having put Nam-il to bed, and Ae Ri finishing up her homework after dinner, I took some time for myself, sitting across from her, doing some revisions to my book, which was on its way to being published soon. While I was excited, I was nervous at the same time.

Until a year and a half ago, I never thought of myself as a writer; medicine was my thing, being a doctor was the easiest thing for me. However, after realizing how much my family needed me and knowing that I also needed time to heal and recover, I decided to take a break from working as a doctor to be there for them and recover well.

I had a diary I had been keeping for some time. It was my form of therapy where I wrote a lot, and some months back, the idea occurred to me to turn it into a book, and after sharing it with a publisher, they loved it so much I was offered an immediate deal.

When I shared it with Jin, wanting his thoughts on it, he was so amused, yet sad, and apologetic by some of the things I had written and documented, but the first thing he told me was, "that's the Diary of an Angry Husband."

From there, it was an easy decision for me to make that the title of my book, with much encouragement and support from my husband. He has been pushing and motivating me to share how I kept my family at the forefront of everything I did despite my anger towards him for many things.

Hearing the doorbell ring, I closed my laptop and stood up, "uncle Taehyung is here; make sure you listen to him and go to bed on time. I am going to get your Appa from the airport."

Ae Ri gave me a nod as she smiled, "okay, I will, and Appa said I can stay up until he comes home."

I sigh, "he told you that?"

"He did; when I spoke to him before he got on the plane, you can ask him."

"It's fine, I believe you; just make sure you listen and be nice to your brother if he wakes up."

"Okay."