When does it all stop?
When you stop.

Emotions run wild
Like a toddler in a toy store
The pressure to describe what you feel intensifies
What do I feel
Your mind lays blank, a static in your brain as you rack up the answers they want to hear
WHAT do I feel?
The fear of saying a wrong answer paralyzes you until your body shuts off
There is no right answer, though
what do I feel?
No one understands
Not even your own self
The pain sets in , your head spinning
There is NO right answer!
You assure yourself
But do you actually believe your lies?
What brought you to this point?
What made you feel the pain?
What forced you to be so...
So...
So... destructive?
Do you have your answer ready?
Of course not, because there isn't one
Nothing brought you here, except yourself
Is it fun for you to feel this way?
Oh wait,
What DO I feel?
There is no answer because you feel nothing
Empty
A shell of the person you were
You bring yourself back to this purgatory
Time after time
A vicious cycle really
The pain you feel will go away once more,
But not for forever
The numbness will come back once again
And you will once again sit here
In that exact chair
Asking yourself
What do I FEEL?

"When does it all stop?" I ask my therapist, twiddling my thumbs as I search my mind for any emotion.
She sighs, sympathy written all over her face. "When you stop."