Mar. 28, 2007

Vampires, witches, and doppelgangers — all of which are on a martyr tear.

Stefan, Damon, Caroline, Bonnie, and Marie all want to save Elena, and are all willing to sacrifice themselves in order to do it. Bonnie and Marie could've seriously hurt — or killed — themselves today doing the same spell that killed Sheila only a few months ago. And Elena's trying to offer herself up to Klaus to save everyone else.

Then there's my idiot brother... Jeremy actually thought that he could take Katherine on all by himself, only to get stuck in the tomb with her. Now Stefan's locked inside, and we have no way to get him out. Bonnie and Marie aren't strong enough on their own.

And then there's what I did today...

I spent the day with Tyler Lockwood. Yes, the angry, egotistical, jackass that used to use Vicki and terrorize Jeremy. There have been times in the past where I see things that make his temper and his cruel actions actually make some sense, but then he lashes out and reminds me why I hate him so damn much.

I saw him cry for the first time today. He didn't cry at his dad's wake, but I guess it's easier to mask pain than fear. I know that well enough from my own experience.

We found Mason's journal, which had a video of his first transformation. Over five straight hours of nothing but pain and tears and... I've never seen any of the Lockwood men seem so defeated before, so drained, and... I suppose 'done' is a good word. He looked like he was done with everything, and I'm not the only one who saw it.

Tyler was in tears before the video even ended. Come to think of it, I'm not sure that we even made it to the end of the video. Tyler was too scared, too terrified by the thought that soon he'll be going through the same thing that his uncle had.

It isn't fair. What happened to cause Tyler to trigger the curse wasn't this fault. Katherine compelled that girl to attack him, and she wasn't going to stop — she couldn't stop until Tyler killed her.

Not that I can tell Tyler that. And it wouldn't bring him any comfort even if I could. The truth doesn't change the fact that he has to live with this curse for the rest of his life.

And then there's Matt. He feels guilty for something that he didn't mean to do, something that he had no control over. And we can't tell him that it's not his fault because we can't tell him that he was compelled by an evil bitch who looks exactly like my sister.

I'm tired of the secrets and the lies. I'm tired of the drama and the never ending supernatural problems... Like Elijah miraculously being alive even though Damon staked him and watched him die in that abandoned house. Maybe killing an original simply isn't possible.

I wish everyday could be as mundane and normal as last night — laughing at my mom's embarrassment after we found her and Ric getting ice cream in their underwear. For a moment, we actually felt normal; just three kids and their parental figures living in a monster free world. It was nice to feel...almost boringly normal, like a regular family. A broken family, but still a family who loves each other and would do anything for each other nonetheless.

Maybe that last bit is part of the problem...