When I'm bored, I like to pretend I'm a tree

Turn myself upside down with my head buried in water and my hands and legs protruding out like branches and stems

Defy the law that says plants are immobile and demand on proximity to sunlight for survival

All hail thou immortal one
For he is naught but a vampire indeed

I am a mini-sun, son of the sun itself
Generator of my own sunlight.