As the sun rose on another day, my eyes once again failed me. I continued to see the world through a white glare and dark shadows. As much as I can continue to behave as though it's not truly affecting me, I knew my emotions and true fears would catch up to me. Rowan, or should I say Garroth, had already seen it slip through the cracks. The one fucking person who should have never seen me that way, did. I told Cadenza about it afterwards and she told me that he probably did not think much of it. Or that he probably felt awful and wanted to help. Little did she know, that didn't help me.

Three months ago, I was the Head Guard of Meteli. Graduated second in my class behind Sasha, expectations of greatness ahead of me. Now, I felt once again like that pathetic little boy on the street, covered in mud, begging for life to just snuff me out instead of feeling the pain my body was going through. Unfortunately, instead of the sting of hunger or the feeling of isolation, it was worse. My body still ached and there were moments where my skin would sting me if I rubbed against it the wrong way. Internally...I felt broken. Like everything I knew about myself and the life that had been given to me was gone. Because it was. I was different and my world was going to change because of that.

"Laur," My sister spoke, her delicate fingers touching my hair to let me know it was just her as she approached. "Aphmau and...Garroth are making tea. They asked if you wanted anything."

I felt my eyelids blink as I came back to the ground for a moment, processing the offer she had proposed to me.

"N-No thank you, Catie. But, tell them I appreciate it," I finally let out, forcing a smile on my lips. They felt thin as I stretched them across my face as I turned my gaze upwards, assuming that's where she was.

"Are you sure? It might give you some energy this morning," She urged on, her voice sounding uplifting as she did so. "Zoey is coming soon. With some tea and a morning breakfast, you may find her procedures less strenuous."

Irene, I regretted telling her that. As much as I appreciated Zoey's check-ins, I did find them tiring. I mentioned it once in passing to her and she explained that once I get back on my feet more, I may find myself being able to do more. I never brought it up again. I struggled to understand how I was supposed to go back to my normal self when I was not exactly who I was when I was taken. So was that her way of telling me that I would never have the same level of energy that I once had?

"I think I will be just fine but, thanks again," I told her again, my answer non-waivering.

"Well you still need breakfast–"

"I said I'm fine . I'll eat later when I want to," I stopped her, sounding a bit more harsh than I had intended.

An awkward silence hung over the two of us. She was probably waiting for me to say sorry. She wouldn't get one. Instead, I crossed my arms and leaned back on the headboard of the bed. I probably looked close to a young child having a tantrum, pouting as I waited for her to speak or leave me alone. I heard her let out a heavy sigh and I felt the bed dip by my knees, the silence continuing a moment longer. Cadenza seemed to wait longer for me to apologize for my tone before saying;

"You're a stubborn cunt."

"And you have a dirty mouth when you get angry," I shot back at her. "Not very future ladylike, hm?"

"Father curses all the time. You know that. No sense in me trying to behave better," My sister pointed out, truthfully. Our father was probably close to the quality of shit in the cursing department. Though, like my sister, he can control himself very well. So, whenever they break their proper persona, people know they fucked up somewhere. "But, back to the topic at hand, you need to get back to your old self. Or at least stop acting like an asshole when it comes to people helping you."

I felt my eyes roll in my head as I sat myself up again to get my point across as I flat out asked her; "How do you suggest I get back to my old self, Cad? You know damn well I will never be able to be the person I was before! Maybe it's just that matter of people getting used to the new me!"

"The new you is a pain in my ass and trust me, Laurance, people do not have the same level of patience as I do," She sternly said. Instead of a retort this time, I let my mouth go silent. I knew there was no beating her in this argument. Or any argument I suppose. "Laurance...I see how you are slowly cracking. You've become more irritated towards others, not just me. I fear that one day, if you let that negativity control you, you'll become isolated."

I would be lying if I was not fearful of that reality myself. I've seen plenty of people in similar situations like me become hermits of sorts. I could just picture myself in my room back in Meteli, curtains drawn and only leaving when told to by my family. It sounded easier than actually returning to a somewhat normal life. Pretending to be the man I once was. Perhaps just being my sister's strange brother as I got older was truly the only option for me now. Hell, I could even hear the things people would call me now once I got home. The Zvhal's Charity Case , one that many liked to throw in my face even before this incident. Now, I guess I just proved them right.

"Cad," I finally said, my voice betraying me as it cracked slightly. I felt the tears begin to form and my chest getting tighter. I hated that I was so emotional. Especially since I did not know whether the door to the room was shut or not. But, I pushed it aside and asked; "What...What's going to happen to me?"

I could hear her pondering on it, combing some of her fire-like locks behind her ear before replying; "If you want my honesty...I do not know. You have to know that you have me and our family's support, always. So you never have to truly worry about that, at least. But, the rest is up to you."

"W-What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, sounding absolutely pathetic.

My sister still treated me kindly as she went on; "You know exactly what I mean. You can let this new challenge completely demolish you and you can spend the rest of your life whining about it. No one would blame you. Or you can be Laurance. Someone who seemed to always find a way to beat expectations."

"I just—"

"No, Laurance. You can do it. I know you can."

And just then, a quiet knock came to the door before it slowly opened. I pulled myself together, wiping away any tears that were able to slip out of my eyes and onto my cheeks. I heard Zoey's soft and caring voice;

"Good morning."

As I had not seen Zoey's face up to that point, I had to rely on her tone and speech to tell me her mood of the day. Today...was different to say the least. Though, I chalked it up to the whole...Rowan being the heir to fucking O'Khasis thing. It probably was a shock to her. Especially after knowing him for almost half a decade.

"Good morning, Zoey," Cadenza politely said, remaining on the bed. "Do you need any assistance today?"

"Actually...there's something we need to discuss. Laurance, is it alright for your sister to remain here? You have every right to deny it," Zoey explained, sounding more stressed the longer she went on.

I was thrown off by the offer to say the least. But, my answer was easy; "No. She can stay. Is everything alright?"

"I...hold on," She shut the door behind her before saying; "I was able to do some more digging last night and this morning about what may have happened to you in there—"

"And we thank you kindly," Cadenza expressed. "You have really gone above and beyond for my brother."

"It's the least I can do," Zoey insisted. "Besides, it may lead to answers as to...what exactly Zenix and those people who attacked our Lord's family and Phoenix Drop. I'm ashamed in myself for not looking sooner, admittedly."

"Eh, you were pretty busy," I jested, getting up and finding my way to sit myself besides my sister. I felt her take my hand once I settled, her thumb lovingly gliding over my skin. "So...what did you find?"

"Our librarian was able to bring me some books about magic and creatures surrounding it," Zoey began. I heard her rustle in her bag, pulling something out. "I may...well, I may be an elf quite advanced in age but, I never truly explored other creatures and magic users that closely. Just the ones that have been around since I was young. So, I never considered looking into our past. But Emmalyn encouraged it and I found this."

I heard pages flipping rapidly before settling, the weird sound of leather stretching also pinging in my ears. I then felt the shift of my sister leaning forward and I became concerned when I heard her voice shake as she asked; "W-What am I looking at?"

"In this book they are called Umbra Ferrum ," Zoey clarified, for me probably. She then gulped a bit, her nails nervously tapping on the book as she added; "Also known as Shadow Knights. From what I was able to translate from the text, I was able to identify that one is not born as one but, can be...morphed into it. But only in the Nether Realm and with the proper rituals."

"Okay..." I spoke slowly, unsure on how to take the news. I mean, the name was not comforting, to say the least but, I was willing to be hopeful. "What are they...exactly?"

"Forgive me if my translation is a bit shaky but, the legend seems to say that Shad himself created them when he went to war with the other Divine Warriors," She explained, my heart stopping slightly at the mention of Shad. Again, not a very comforting thing to hear. "They are formed by either a dead soul, him and other Shadow Knights reforming their body anew. Or...they use those rituals to bring someone close to death, transforming them then."

"So...you think the people who took Laurance performed these rituals on him?" Cadenza asked for me, now gripping my hand.

"It would explain why Laurance claimed to have seen Sasha. They must have resurrected her after she passed in the Nether realm...that is where she passed, right?" Zoey questioned, for clarification no doubt. I nodded my head, recalling Kenmur rambling about it before and after the incident that took her. "It's just a theory though...we would only be able to know if you recalled what exactly happened to you."

"I have been...recalling some things. I apologize that it's all still a little foggy," I said to her, feeling my stomach twist inside me.

"It's quite alright. I think if you did remember what happened to you, it would only make your condition worse," Zoey reassured me, reaching out and resting a hand on my knee. "Let's be thankful for the small things instead of worried about the unknown."

"But if Laurance is one of these...things, is he going to be alright?" Cadenza blurted out, wanting to get more answers.

Zoey let go of my knee, taking a seat in a squeaky, rickety chair before responding with; "That's the thing about these ancient tales. We may only find out as time goes on. From what I could find, they were just beings of great strength and could be granted immortality for the purpose of war. I do know much detail about them besides that. I'm sure with a bit more research, I'll be able to come up with better answers. Though...it seems that a cure was never found either. So, let's hope my theory is not proven right."

"Agreed," I sighed, finding it all a bit overwhelming. "Perhaps once I get back on my feet fully, I can...be more observant on what my condition is."

"That could be helpful, yes. But, don't push yourself. I fear that if you force anything, it will set you back a couple of steps in the recovery process," The elf informed me. "And to be fair, you may not feel any symptoms per say."

"Still, I'll take note," I insisted, running through everything in my head. Something did strike me though, like an arrow straight to the chest. "If this is true, should we worry about these things being...formed again? If it happened to Sasha and those men with her, that means there's probably more of them performing these rituals."

Another wave of silence washed over the room. I guess I asked the question no one had considered yet. Still, Zoey finally answered;

"Only time will tell. What you should worry about is your recovery. We'll keep an eye on any symptoms that may arise, research what we can, and hope that these ritualists are just some sick fanatics that need to be brought to justice."

"And that I agree with. Laurance, you should only care for yourself right now. I know your guard instincts but, you need to put you first at the moment. Let others take care of this...threat," Cadenza said, combing her other hand through my hair gently to calm my nerves. "I'll inform father and Nicole herself that we should be on the lookout for any of these suspected Shadow Knights. Perhaps catch one and interrogate them for answers."

"Thanks Cad..." I exhaled, still finding myself feeling uneasy with the statement. Part of me knew that these Shadow Knights were not easy to catch and prepared for such a situation. I fear that if someone did try, they'd get caught in a similar situation like me.

The thought of being one of these did worry me though. Especially since even Zoey, an experienced magic healer and user, did not know of their existence mere hours prior to seeing me that morning. Now, instead of becoming something of a hermit, I needed to consider the new fear of becoming a possible danger to others. Granted, Zoey did not mention much of any abilities they have but, I'm sure people transformed into pawns of war did not mean they just got a second chance at life. There had to be something wrong, more so if Shad was the creator of such a thing. But, I guess it did give me a goal. Something that could push me. I needed to know more. I needed to listen to myself. I doubt any of that would happen if I continued to just rot there in that room and lay around in my own self-pity. Plus, the feeling of Cadenza's fingers combing through my messy locks definitely reminded me that I was close to rock bottom. I turned to her and asked;

"So...are you still interested in that makeover? Or are you busy today?"

I heard her gasp in delight and from the sounds of Zoey's giggle, I could tell that my older and level-headed sister had definitely grown excited. It was like I handed her the key to happiness itself as she went on rambling out; "Yes! Oh my Irene—I have a trunk of supplies back in my tent! I have so many ideas! Do you want your ginger hair still or can we chop it off? No, wait! Let's slowly transition out of it, there's no need for a drastic change!"

"Cad, I don't know if you noticed but I can't exactly see what you do. All I ask is that I can walk around in public again without worrying if I look close to death's door," I told her, now worried for my safety. More specifically, once she was able to get scissors and dye in her hands. But, she playfully hit me before saying;

"Oh you of little faith! I'll be right back! Behave for Zoey while I'm gone, alright?"

I raised my hands in surrender as I replied; "I promise, I promise. I can never imagine myself ever treating Zoey poorly."

"Aw, aren't you sweet?" Zoey gushed, sounding like a mother fawning over her child.

Cadenza did not have much to say on that besides; "Good then, I'm off! Be back in a few!"

I felt a breeze as she swung open the door and rushed out. Soon, I heard Aphmau herself call out; "Uh...is everything alright?"

"Everything is fine! Promise!" I assure her. "Just keep making Tincan his tea!"

I heard the man himself groan, a small giggle overlapping it in the other room. I think I'll have even more fun making jokes about essentially a Prince of Ru'an. He deserves it now more than ever, I suppose. Zoey had went on to start her daily check-up with me, hearing her pop open one of her jars.

"I have no idea what you said to that man to convince him to go to that beach but, I do owe you for that one. If it wasn't for you, I think he would have just...sat here all night," Zoey muttered to me, setting things up still. "Maybe now the two can stop dancing around their feelings."

"I don't know...I think my convincing only led to more trouble," I admitted, thinking about Zane Ro'Meave and the possible threat looming over my family's region.

"Eh, I think he would have made that mistake eventually. Luckily, you made it have a bright side to it."

I could get used to Zoey's positivity. No wonder she was great with a baby. She was literally sunshine itself. Perhaps she could give me a few lessons before I returned to Meteli. Though at this rate, that may not be happening as soon as I thought.