Zoya came out of the washroom wiping her mouth with towel. She had returned home early from the office taking half-day. After Ishita left cabin, her headache has clouded over her mind again. Giving the charge of the office to Akansha, Zoya picked up her things and left.

She threw the towel on the chair and sat on the bed holding her head in her hand. It felt heavy. She told her mother-in-law earlier when she came to ask for dinner that she wasn't hungry and if she would, she will eat later. Though she insisted so much upon her but all Zoya wanted was some time to herself.

She pressed her fingers to her temples & slightly massaged them. That's when the door of the room opened and he entered. He was holding his court in one hand & a plate of food in his other. Zoya became dangerously alert of Aditya's presence as he shut the room's door & walked inside.

Though he was aware of her presence in the room but stayed silent. He knew she was looking at him only but neither did he looked at her nor spoke anything. He kept the plate of food on the side table of their bed which she knew was meant for her and went inside the bathroom. Soon she heard the sound of shower.

Zoya kept looking at the direction where he disappeared as tears of guilt & shame comes from her eyes. She expected him to be angry on her but his ignorance only added to her bad state. Even though he didn't utter single word from his mouth but his eyes spoke a lot. She recalled her mother-in-law's words from morning.

"Woh kuch kahega nhi agar uss ke mann me koi baat hui bhi to".

He was ignoring her because he was hurt and even then didn't say anything to her! More tears filled up Zoya's eyes. She had hurt him with her words. And there is no going back now. Without any fault of his he was suffering.

Zoya cleaned her tears by the back of her hand just when she heard the door open. She got up with her full attention to him. Aditya had changed to his night clothes. He was looking tired. His eyes were red and swollen as if he had cried. For once she felt as if his eyes had flickered to her direction. She glued her eyes to him in anticipation watching his every move as he walked to the other side of the bed.

"Aditya", her voice was a muffled sigh.

Aditya paused for a second and without looking in her direction he spoke, "Khaa lena". He switched off the side lamp and lied on the bed facing the wall.

Zoya stood frozen at her place & let some tears fall freely down her face.

~~~~~~~~~~

Aditya was getting ready in the morning preparing to leave early for the Airport when he noticed the untouched plate of food he had brought last night. It wasn't moved a bit from where he kept it which means she has not eaten anything since night.

At that moment the door opened & Zoya stepped out of the shower. Her eyes fell on Aditya standing in front of the mirror facing his back to her. Keeping her eyes on him, she quitely walked to the closet and pretended taking out things from it. She deliberately made sound & checked on him but he never looked at her.

"Aditya", she called but he ignored as if he hadn't heard her. Zoya knew he was aware of her presence but pretending as if nobody was there. His behaviour was making her feel more guilty. The silence in the room felt like venom. She hid her face inside the closet to clean her tears.

To said that he's hurt was a small thing. That night after he left the room, he went to Arjun's room. He sat in a corner of the balcony curling himself and covered his ears with both hands in order to shut every sound that was trying to reach his ears. Her words had fallen into his ears like a curse. His tears were washing away with the rain drenching him completely. He cried whole night until tears soaked, even the clouds accompanied him. Next morning, he woke up with swollen eyes and a puffy nose. His throat felt dry as a result of crying for hours. He quickly got up and silently walked back to the room not let anyone in the house know. When he reached his room, he noticed that the door was ajar just as the way he had left. He stepped inside the room and shut the door. He further walked in to found her carelessly sleeping by the bed. Without thinking he took a step in her direction only to be stopped by her own words that was still fresh in his ears from last night. He gulped and turned to the washroom. When he came out of the bathroom Zoya was still asleep. Aditya walked towards the window & removed the curtains and left the room.

She turned when she heard him sneeze multiple times. He had caught cold, his red nose being an evidence of the same. It was hard to ignore her but if that was what she wanted, then be it. He continue brushing his hair in the mirror. Though Aditya wanted to ask her about the food plate but then something triggered him & he controlled that urge. He glanced at her once from the mirror while tucking his tie & found her staring at him.

Due to lack of sleep last night & having an empty stomach her head felt heavy. She thought of tying her loose hairs and walked to the mirror. She stopped right behind him. For a second, their eyes met at a point in the mirror before he looked away.

"Hum woh...", Zoya stopped in mid when Aditya turned & moved away from there only to let her own reflection face her. He picked up his court & other things from the bed and walked to the door.

"Aditya", Zoya called again when he was about to exit the door and this time loud enough to reach his ears. Aditya stopped listening to her voice but didn't turn.

Without slow steps she walked towards him while he stood still at his position. She waited for him to say anything but when he didn't, she begin. "Kl Ishita aayi thi hamare office. Woh keh rahi thi......".

"Sid se baat ho gayi h meri. Maine mana kr dia h. Don't worry, tumhe meri shakal nahi dekhni padegi", his fiery voice stop her in the middle of her sentence and he left the room while she stood stunned & guilty.

~~~~~~~~~~

She kept thinking why she felt hurt after hearing those words from him. He didn't do anything wrong. After all she said all those things to him. It was her only who asked him to stay away. And he was only doing what she wanted. But she couldn't understand why it affected so much if he had ignored her. When and why had she start caring about him?

She was walking in her cabin with crease on her forehead when her thoughts were disturbed by the phone ring in her cabin. She walked to her desk and grabbed her phone whose screen was black silent but she could still hear the ring. She slapped her forehead irritatingly cursing herself. It was the landline ringing. She bent and picked the receiver.

"Kaisi h aap Zoya?", the familiar voice of her Abbu asked her.

"Abbu?", she felt waves of teary emotions pass through Zoya's heart as she became emotional hearing his voice after so long & especially when she was feeling lonely and isolated from everyone.

Sitting on the chair with a smile on face, she held the landline receiver with both hands. "Kaise h aap? Aur Ammi kaisi h? Itne din aapko hamari yaad nahi aayi?", she threw her questions and complaints all at once.

"Hum bilkul theek h bete. Aur bhala aisa ho skta h ki hum apne kaleje ke tukde ko bhool jaye? Aapki Ammi to roz yaad krti h apni Zoya ko", Waseem told her & she heard him smile.

Zoya smiled with teary eyes. "Hume aap dono ki bahut yaad aati h Abbu. Aap kb aa rahe h hum se milne?", she asked him. Talking with him after so many days she realised how much she missed them.

"Hum bahut jld aapke paas aa rhe h mere bachche", Waseem's voice was heavy too.

"Aap sach keh rhe h Abbu?", she sobbed.

"Haa Zoya! Hum aapki Ammi ko lekar do hafte baad aapke ghar Mumbai aa rhe h", happiness was evident in his voice. "Yahi batane ke liye phone kia h humne aapko. Lijiye aapki Ammi aapse baat karengi", saying that he handed over the phone to Roshnaq.

"Zoya hamari bachchi kaisi h aap? Hum bahut jald aa rahe h aapse milne", with voice full of love Roshnaq asked her.

"Ammi hum.....", she broke down hearing her mother's voice. As they say it doesn't take time for a mother to feel the pain in her child's voice. And her mother was no exception to it, she quickly understood that something was not right. Roshnaq knew that Zoya wasn't normally crying.
"Zoya kya baat h? Aap theek nhi lg rhi h. Bataiye hume kuch hua h kya beta?", she asked with concern. And the only reply she got was Zoya's painful sobs.

She got up & sat far away from Waseem who was reading newspaper on couch.
"Zoya khuda ke liye kuch kahiye. Hume ghabrahat ho rahi h beta", she whispered so that it didn't reach his ears.

"Hum akele ho gye h Ammi...bahut akele. Humara dum ghut ta h yahan pr", Zoya's voice was drained due to the tears in her throat. She kept the landline receiver on the desk and our her head down crying.

"Zoya aap aisi baatein kyu kr rahi h beta? Aapke aur Aditya ke beech me kuch hua? Kuch kaha h unhone aapse? Apni Ammi ko bataiye", the mother inside Roshnaq was panicked knowing her child's state.

"Zoya aap sunn rahi h? Zoya?", she raised her voice when she got no response from Zoya.

"Humse bahut badi glti ho gayi h Ammi, bahut badi", Roshnaq heard her say and she sat frozen at her place.

"Apne aansun paunchhiye aur hume saaf saaf bataiye kis glti ka zikr kr rhi h aap?", Roshnaq asked in strict voice. And next what Zoya told Roshnaq infuriated her. She kept listening quitely as Zoya spoke in between her sobs.

"Woh humse bahut naraaz h. Hume kuch smjh nhi aa rha hum kya kare", Zoya told her everything about that night......all the terrible things she threw over his face.

But then no voice came from Roshnaq's end for very long. "Ammi please kuch to boliye. Hum mante h hum ne galti ki h. Pr aap bhi humse muh mat modiye. Aap jo bolengi hum woh karenge pr khuda ke liye humse baat kijiye", holding receiver of the phone tightly with her hands as if her life depended on it, Zoya pleaded to her mother.

Next she heard her mother's angry voice, "Kya bole hum Zoya? Humne yeh to nahi sikhaya tha aapko. Apne gusse me aapne Aditya ka dil kitna dukhaya h andaaza h aapko? Itni matlabi kaise se ho gayi aap? Hamari beti to aisi nahi thi".

"Ammi hume maaf kr dijiye please", she begged as fresh stock of tears flow from her eyes.

"Hum kon hote h aapko maafi dene wale bhala? Jin se maafi maangni chahiye kya aap ek baar bhi gyi unke paas? Chup kyu h Zoya?", Roshnaq was much more than angry and disappointed by her daughter.

"Aapne humse vaada kiya tha ki aap iss Nikaah ko poori shiddat se nibhayengi. Aur aisi nibhaya aap aapna vaada. Apni Ammi ko sharminda kr ke?", she further scolded her when Zoya didn't spoke.

"Hum jante h humne aapka bhi bahut dil dukhaya h Ammi. Aur hum aapki maafi ke kaabil bhi......."

"Iss baar aapko maafi nahi milegi Zoya. Hum mante h aapka Nikaah aapki marzi ke khilaaf hua tha. Pr hume laga tha aap samajhdaar h, khud ko sambhalna janti h. Hume laga tha aap Miyan-Biwi ke iss rishtey ko samjhengi. Pr aapne saabit kr dia aapke Abbu ne jo kia woh theek kia", Roshnaq kept lashing out on Zoya while she heard her every word silently, being guilty of her actions.

Roshnaq went on further, "Kismat wali h aap jo Aditya jaise Shauhar aapko mile h. Nikaah ke har vaade ko unhone aaj tk nibhaya h aur aapne kya kia unke saath? Unko unn hi ke kamre se chale jaane ko keh dia?", her voice was furious as she questioned Zoya.

"Ab hamari baat suniye aap. Hum aapse tb tk baat nhi krenge jb tk aap Aditya ki maafi nahi paa leti", saying that she cut the call.

"Hello? Ammi? Ek baar hamari baat.......", Zoya shouted over the phone but the line was already disconnected.

~~~~~~~~~~

Zoya reached home early that evening & waited in her room for him. It showed 6 pm on the clock. He must be home in an hour. The clock ticked & ticked and two hours passed but he didn't show up. She was pacing up restlessly in her room. His flight might be delayed, she thought and sat on the bed eyeing up the clock.

She stirred in sleep as her body ached in an uncomfortable position. She yawned, stretched her hands & upon realisation her eyes opened with the jolt. Zoya had fallen asleep while waiting for Aditya. She looked at the clock which striked at 8. Her eyes became big in horror. It was morning! She immediately got up from the bed. She panicked realising that he hadn't returned the whole night.

He hasn't been late even for a day. Zoya started having negative thoughts as she stormed out of her room. Maybe he had come & would be now downstairs with others for the breakfast. Zoya ran down the stairs and stopped at its foot. Arjun & Harsh were on the dining table along with Anjana who was serving them. He wasn't there!

Did he already left?
Or had he not come back home only?
How can his family behave so normal if he hadn't returned since last night?

Terror ran through Zoya thinking of the possibilities.

"Zoya bhabhi aap wahan kyun khadi h?", Arjun asked upon noticing and bringing Zoya out of thoughts. Harsh and Anjana too turned their eyes at her as she stood a few feet away from them.

"Bachche tum akele kyu khadi ho? Yahan aa kr hamare saath breakfast kro", Harsh politely smiled at Zoya indicating at the chair next to him.

She somehow paced from the foot of the stairs to the dining not knowing how to tell them about Aditya. She stood there looking bewildered.

"Hum smjh skte h bhabhi aaj bhai nahi h to aap unhe miss kr rahi hongi. But trust me bhai bhi wahan aap ke hi khayalo me gum hoge", Arjun joked when she didn't sat. But his words raised Zoya's ears. She looked him with surprise.

"Arjun pareshaan mt kr Zoya ko", Anjana scolded him as he chuckled.

"Aapko maalum h Aditya kahan h", Zoya asked Arjun with an astonishing tone.

"Haa Zoya! Adi do din ki flight pe Nepal gya h. Tum aisi kyu pooch rhi ho? Ussne bataya nahi tumhe?", Anjana asked her while buttering the toast.

This came as a real shock to Zoya & she stood flabbergasted at her place. Aditya went to a 2-day long flight, that's why he didn't returned last night while she kept waiting for him. Moreover, everybody in the house knew this except for her. Zoya recalled his last words before leaving.

"Don't worry, tumhe meri shakal nahi dekhni padegi".

He truly meant those words!

Zoya stepped back as realisation hit her. "Zoya tum.....", she faintly heard Anjana say before turning back. She ran towards her room while Anjana kept calling her name & the whole family looked shock.

She shut the room door and sank down on the floor. She cried keeping her head on the door. Her thoughts wandering to that night which had brought more mess in her life. This time she knew that only she was at fault.

Maybe it was her bad luck that she keep hurting people unintentionally. At first, she left Sahir broken & made him suffer because his only mistake was loving her and in the process her Abbu got hurt too. And now it's Aditya she had hurted with both her words and rude behaviour. Her Ammi wasn't talking to her too. She had never felt this lonely and helpless in her life.

Always she kept breaking promises and trust of every person who ever loved her. She failed as a lover, then as a daughter & now she couldn't be even a good wife to her husband. She insulted him when she had always respected her wishes and space. She broke his heart so badly that he didn't even want to see her face and went far away without even telling her.

"Kya hum itne bure h ki koi hamare paas nahi rehna chahta? Sb humse door chale gaye h. Hum akele ho gaye h", she sobbed looking at nowhere. And then she heard a voice....a voice coming from the mirror. SHE was back!

Zoya looked at her and found her staring back with sad eyes. She knew who it was! She got up wiping her tears & walked in anger towards the mirror behind which she stood with a small smile.

"Aapke paas to har sawaal ka jawab hota h na? To bataiye......bataiye hume ki kyun hum itne akele h? Kyun hamare paas koi apna nhi h haan?", Zoya asked furiously.

She folded her hands defensively with a blank expression on her face. "Koi apni marzi se tumse door nhi gaya Zoya. Sb ko tum ne khud hi door kia h. Sahir, Ammi, Aditya ab koi nhi h tumhare paas", Zoya of the other world retorted through the mirror and more tears flew from Zoya's eyes hearing the truth.

She sank down to the floor. "Hum mante humne sb ke saath galat kia h. Pr hum ab kya kare? Aisa kya kare ki jis se sb theek ho jaye?", she asked sobbing in her hand.

She further went on, "Jaanti ho tumhari sbse badi kamzori kya h Zoya? Tumhara yeh gussa", Zoya looked up rebelliously into her eyes.

"Yeh sb tumhare gusse ka natija h. Apne gusse me tumhe kuch nhi dhikhta. Agar tumne uss din tumne apne aap pr kaabu rakha hota to aaj shayad Sahir tumhare saath hota. Thande dimaag se kaam lena to aata hi nhi h tumhe. Aur aaj tumhari iss halat ki zimmedar tum khud ho", she scolded the real Zoya with harsh words. "Tum ne khud hi khud ko akela kiya h!", she claimed wiping her own tears.

"Pr kabhi bhi koi cheez itni nahi bigadti h ki use theek na kia jaa sake", her words made Zoya look up with a dying hope in her teary eyes.

Her shadow in the mirror nodded, "Koi bhi tumse itna door nahi hua ki tumhare paas wapas naa aa paye. Bas unhe wapas laane ka raasta tumhe khud dhoondhna h iss baar".

Zoya immediately stood at her feet when she started taking her steps back in the mirror. "Kahan jaa rahi h aap? Hume aap ki zaroorat h. Please hume akela chod kr mat jaaiye", Zoya begged trying to catch the non-existing glimpse in the mirror.

"Agar tum sach much me sb kuch wapas paana chahti ho, to tumhare apne wapas zaroor aayenge", so with these last words she vanished inside the mirror.

Zoya kept staring at the point where her inner soul had just disappeared but not without showing her the way. She wiped her tears with her hand. She knew what she had to do.

**********

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