APOLOGY
It was late night when he reached home. The two-day long flight had been tiring and all he wish to have at the moment is a good sleep. Assuming everybody to be asleep by now, he entered his home with sleep-deprived eyes & found his mother waiting at the step of the house. But to his surprise there was someone else too. His eyes moved to her sitting next to his mother.
"Adi", Anjana got up as soon as she saw him standing on the door. Next to her, Zoya stiffened on the couch and turned her head to look at him. She caught his eye before he looked away.
Instead he walked directly towards his mother who was coming to him with a wide smile. "Aap ab tk soyi nahi Maa?", he asked embracing her in small hug. Zoya stood watching him nervously.
"Biwi aa gayi h to Maa ki zaroorat nhi h? Kya main ab apne bete ka wait bhi nhi kr skti?", Anjana asked teasingly.
"Nhi Maa mera woh mtlb nhi tha. Bahut late ho gaya h. Aap thak gayi honge na", he replied innocently.
"Bhala koi Maa apne bete ka wait kr ke thakti h? Tu aa gaya h, ab main chen se soungi", she smiled patting his cheek.
Anjana turned and her eyes fall on Zoya who was silently watching the duo. She turned back with a smile. "Koi tera wait kb se kr raha h", she pointed her head towards Zoya. His eyes shifted at her for a while. Her eyes had never left his face.
"Good Night Maa", he smiled & placed a soft kiss on her temple before she left.
"Aap jaante h hume aapki kitni fikr......", as soon as they were alone Zoya ran to him with open arms but was stopped by his words midway before she could hug him.
"Wait krne ke liye Thanks. Next time se tumhe meri liye jaagne ki jarurt nahi h", he spoke with a blank stare at the wall. "Meri family h abhi. Tumhe pareshaan hone ki zaroorat nhi h", he dumped the cold words on her face without looking & walked away.
Zoya felt like someone had slapped her. All of sudden she felt lonely in her own house. The hate in his eyes killed her as if a sword was stabbed inside her chest. But this wasn't about her anymore. She turned around to found him already on the top of the staircase.
"I am sorry Aditya"
~~~~~~~~~~
She nervously pushed their room door to find him already retired to bed. She slowly walked to his side & found him peacefully sleeping. She sat on the floor by the bed near him & silently studied his face for while. She noticed he slept without changing his Pilot uniform. He looked tired - physically & emotionally. She brought her hands forward to touch his face but something caught her hand in mid-air. Something that told her she lost that right. With tear-filled eyes, she traced the smooth skin on his forehead, the dark circles under his eyes and the perfection of jawline. For the first time she noticed the innocency his face held. And it increased her guilt even more.
"Hum mante h humse glti hui h Aditya. Gusse me bina soche-smjhe humne aap se bahut kuch keh dia. Bahut gehri chot pahuchayi h aapke dil ko. Ab hum aapki maafi ke bhi kaabil nahi h.
Nikaah se le kr aaj tk kabhi bhi hum pr apna haq jatane ki koshish nahi ki. Aap ne humesha hamare faisle ki izzat ki. Pr hum aapko woh izzat kbhi nhi de paaye. Shayad hum aapke kaabil hi nahi h".
Zoya paused & gulped her tears before resuming.
"Jaante h aap khafa h humse. Aur aapki naraazgi jayaz bhi h. Apne dil ke zakhm ko halke krne ke liye, humne woh ghaav aapko bhi de diye. Hum aapke gunegaar h aur apne kiye ki saza hume mil rahi h. Aap humse itni nafrat krte h ki hamari shakal bhi nhi dekhna chahte.
Pr aapki naraazgi teer ki tarah hamare dil pr chubhti h. Aap hamari taraf nahi dekhte h to hume bura lagta h. Hum nhi jante aap hume maaf kr payenge ya nhi. Pr hum intezaar karenge Aditya uss pal ka jb tk aap hume maaf nhi kr dete".
Zoya didn't realised that her tears were falling on his hands. His eyes were open & was looking at her only.
"Aditya hum.....", her words stuck inside when she realised his firm gaze on her. She got up & turned to go but he caught her hand. She didn't turn back & stayed still.
He got up from the bed firmly holding her wrist in his hand and gently turned her around by her shoulders. She didn't look up & kept her wet eyes to the floor. Aditya turned her chin up & made her look in his eyes.
He cleaned the tears off her face with his fingers while Zoya kept looking at him as more tears fell from her eyes. "Tumhari aankhon me aansun achche nhi lgte", he spoke in a rather soft voice.
"Aditya I am sor...."
"Raat bahut ho gayi h. I think tumhe so jana chahiye", he turned to go.
But this time she caught his arm tightly not letting him go, "Aditya please.....".
"Please ek baar hamari baat sunn lijiye. Usske baad aap hume jo saza sunayenge hume manzoor hogi", she pleaded with a weak voice. He didn't speak anything but stood there staring the wall behind waiting for her to speak.
"Hum jante h uss raat ke baad.....".
Aditya flinched a little at the mention of that night. Zoya saw the hard lines that formed on his lips. There were waves of emotion in his eyes which he was trying so hard to hide.
Her voice trembled as she continued, "Uss raat ke baad hum aapse kuch bhi kehne ka haq kho chuke h pr kya aap hume aur mauka denge hamari galti sudharne ka?".
"Aur main tumhe ek mauka kyun du?", he questioned shoving his hands inside his pockets.
"Kyuki hume hamari galti ka ehsaas ho gaya h. Uss raat humne jo bhi kaha woh alfaaz hum wapas to nhi le skte. Bas ek mauka chahte h humare beech sb theek krne ka.....jo humne khoya h usse wapas paane ka".
"Kyun? Kya badal gaya h inn 2 dino me? Kya farq padta h hamare beech sb theek ho ya na ho?", he asked directly looking her in the eyes this time. None of them spoke for a while and just kept looking at each other. Zoya could feel the heat of his intense gaze. His eyes were accusing her of breaking his heart.
She spoke after a long moment. "Kyunki humse aapki naraazgi bardasht nhi hoti Aditya", Zoya couldn't held his gaze any longer & looked down.
"Kyunki hume farq padta h Aditya", she spoke further.
".....hume farq padta h aap kya sochte h. Hume farq padta h kyunki aapko farq padta h" and tears rolled down off her face and he brought his hands forward to catch them. She looked at his hand holding her tear and then looked up at him. There were tears in his eyes too. He shook his head sideways in NO & took two steps close to her.
"Aditya I am sorry", she cried with tear-filled voice while he gently cupped her face with his palms.
"Ssshhhh", he leaned forward and she closed her eyes. Zoya didn't even feel when his lips touched her face and he inhaled the sour water flowing from her eyes. She held his collar when he moved to kiss tears on other side of her cheek. Her face was in firm grip of his hands. She realised how close they were when she felt his warm breathe on her lips. Their faces were mere inches from each other. He leaned back from her face and looked in her eyes.
"Tumhe sach me lagta Zoya h main tum se nafrat krta hoon? Kya tum yeh sochti ho ki main itna insensitive hu ki mujhe tumhare aansun nhi dikhte?".
"Pr aap humse gussa h".
"Haa main tumse naraaz tha. Haa main hurt tha kyunki mera dil toota tha Zoya. Pr isska mtlb yeh nhi ki maine tumhari parwaah krna chod dia", his welled eyes spoke the rest of the truth.
"Maine tumhari parwaah krna na kabhi choda tha aur na hi kabhi chodunga. Jo vachan maine tumhe diye the woh main nibhaunga", he cleared the tear from his eye by his fingers.
His lips curved in a teary smile, "Tumhe bhale meri zaroorat hi naa ho pr tumhe zaroorat padne pr tum hamesha mujhe apne saath khada paogi". She knew that his every single word was true.
"Aap itne achche kyu h Aditya", and the words remained unspoken in her heart.
~~~~~~~~~~
She rubbed her eyes yawning as the sun hit her. Stretching herself Zoya craned her neck to the side at the alarm clock kept at the table and her eyes widened.
"Yaa Allah aaj hum fir late ho gaye", she got up from the bed quickly as the long hand of the clock was pointing at 8. She looked around the empty sun-lit room. She hit her forehead & ran towards the washroom. Just when she reached for the door-knob, it unbolted and the door was pulled in. She lost her feet and fell forward. Before she could shout, Aditya caught her in time as she landed on his chest. Water was dripping from all over him as he looked at her confusion.....she clutched his shoulders for support.....he was wet.....Zoya's hand slipped from his bare chest.....he tried to catch her waist and in the chaos both of them lost their balance & fell on the ground. He landed over her and their heads hit each other.
"Ouuchh", both rubbed their foreheads and their eyes met. Her ocean blue orbs locked to his green ones. He was gazing at her intensely. She could feel his chest rising up & down while trying to catch the breathe. Her face was inches away from his. Waterdrops were leaking from his hair on her neck. Zoya realised that her hands were still on his bare chest. She tried to get up but she was trapped under him. She pushed his chest but he was strong. His hands were locked on either sides of her.
"Aditya..?", Zoya tried pushing his chest. He got out of his trance and realised he was still over her.
"Haan? Tum...tum theek ho?", he spoke confused.
"Hum theek h.....aap please", she looked at his hand pinning her to the floor.
"Sorry", he immediately realised & got up from over her. She quickly get back on her feet too.
"Hum woh umm......", she fumbled with the words.
"I'll go & change", embarrassed himself Aditya told Zoya without looking and turned toward his closet while securing the knot of his towel.
"Aditya?"
"Hun?"
"Next week Ammi-Abbu aa rahe h Delhi hum se milne"
"I will fetch them from the Airport", he promised firmly and moved away to get his clothes. She looked at his back and felt only gratitude towards that man. She turned to the bathroom door when -
"Zoya?", she immediately turned back at his voice.
"Jii?"
"Ready hone me zyaada time mt lagana. Hum late ho rahe h", he spoke with his back at her. She was not sure if she had heard smile in his voice. She smiled and rushed inside the bathroom.
Aditya turned to look at the door Zoya had just disappeared behind and his face lit up with an unknown smile.
**********
Hello my dear ones! After a long time, we finally meet. I missed writing so so much.
My College exams are finally over and I was able to write a little. But I still have my Entrance in a week....so a little busy.
I am curious to listen from you guys after so long. Comment!
Stay tuned ;)
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