Chapter 14.
A Sudden Realization.

Abigail was curious how David would behave when she saw him again at the meeting on Saturday. Would he be cold and aloof? Would he pretend George had never passed by? Would he ask multiple questions about her visit to the police station? One thing she had learned about Lord David Righton is that he never behaved the way you expected him. He was like an open book with blank pages. 

I wonder if he also finds me somewhat mysterious, or if he can read me easily and know exactly what sort of person I am. 

The problem was that Abigail herself didn't quite know what sort of person she was. She constantly heard from David how much she had changed, how different she was. The more he said this, the more she longed to know exactly what sort of person she had been. Could she really have been THAT different? She had questioned George yesterday, but he had just laughed the whole thing off.

“David still can't forget how you refused to elope with him. You were shy back then, but now you have a bit more gumption. That's really the long and short of it.”

His words made sense, but they lacked detail. They told her everything and nothing at the same time. If only she could get back even just a few of the memories, remember just a little. It would make her feel more complete. Now she was but half a person, living a life that started when she wagrown-upn up. Her parents, her family, even the man she had once loved, they were people she didn't know, couldn't remember. They were figures on photographs, characters from a bedtime story, strangers she was getting to know all over again.

It wasn't fair.

But then, nothing in life was fair.

It was a sentiment that David seemed to share. For as they were walking home after the meeting, he turned to her with a frown. “And to think you didn't stand up for me? How unfair of you.”

“I didn't want to cause a scene in a public place,” Abigail argued. “How was I to know that you were going to take it to heart?”

“Humph! What did they say at the police station?”

“I gave a description, and they said if I see him again to inform them right away.”

“That's it?”

“What else are they supposed to do?”

“Send a detective to watch the area and catch the man.” David shook his head. “It's no wonder crime is a problem in this city, those upholdig the law don't take their job seriously. And George? Why was George so useless? Shouldn't he have insisted? Did he at least see you home?”

“Not quite. He got a cab for me, but had some urgent business to take care of.”

David halted and reached out to stop Abigail as well. “Some ‘brother’ he is. It's plain as day he does not care for your safety in the slightest. That is why I wanted to come with you. George has always been like that. He talks a lot but is lazy and sloppy in everything he does.”

“Don't go bad mouthing my cousin just because you are jealous of him!”

The color rushed to David's face. “Jealous? Who said anything about being jealous?”

Abigail had to laugh. “It's written all over your face and displayed in every one of your actions.”

Her words did nothing to calm David down - quite the opposite, he seemed to get even more upset. “Obviously you are reading too much into all of this.”

Abigail frowned. “Don't try to turn the tables on me, Lord Righton. I am not the one getting all upset and red in the face for nothing.”

These words became the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. “ANGRY over nothing? You have an unknown man tailing you, and neither you nor your cousin seem to be concerned about it at all. Don't you realize it is your safety, nay, it could be your life, at stake here. And you are just pinning it all on jealousy. For a school teacher, you really are very silly, Abigail Havisham!” With thos,  words David marched off. Abigail stood rooted to her spot. So this was David Righton when he was angry. It had never even occurred to her that he could be angry.

Having gone but a few steps, David suddenly turned around and came marching back. “Was it George who convinced you to behave so imature?”

“Um….well…”Abigail stammered. 

“Was he the one who influenced you, yes or no?”

“Well…he did point out…”

“Yes or no, Abigail.”

Abigail lowered her gaze to the cobblestone street. “Yes.”

“Therin likes your problem, Abigail. You allow people like George to cloud your better judgment. You let them influence you instead of weighing out the options for yourself.”

“I just didn't think…”

“Exactly, you didn't think! You let George do all the thinking for you. Now, go back to your room and think for yourself!”

Once again, David turned and marched off. Slowly, Abigail began walking. Where to? She herself didn't know. 

At first, she had been amused by the whole situation. David's outburst, however, had put everything in a different light. She had to admit he had a point. She did let George influence her. It was easier that way. Living with no memory of anyone or anything, George was really the one person she felt she could depend on. Aunt Imogen hated her, and the rest of the world didn't know of her amnesia. 

I pride myself in being independent, but am I really? I keep everyone at a distance, but at the same time, I don't really rely on myself because I don't trust myself. I keep saying ‘I don't know who I am, therefore I will depend on the person who knew me before. It's the exact opposite of independence.

From Monday to Friday, Abigail strove to teach her students to think of themselves, while at the same time, she let George think for her. The interesting thing is that she never realized she was allowing him to do this. This was because she hardly ever saw him, and they rarely communicated. However, everything she knew about herself and her past came from what George had told her. Thus, she had this trust in him. Which in itself was not bad, but she couldn't live her whole life like this. 

Now, as she went over the whole situation, Abigail concluded that David was right, and George was wrong. You couldn't just assume that a shady looking person was not a threat when you had seen him follow you, and you knew he was watching you while trying to remain unnoticed. 

George lived in the country and grew up in a small community. He didn't understand London or the kind of people that were here. Abigail had been living in London for over three years now. 

She had her own judgment. She had her own mind. It was time she started consulting it. It was time to stop worrying about what the old Abigail had been like. It was time to just focus on the Abigail she was now.