"if I wasn't afraid of love, I would've hugged you"

maggie lindemann — "would I"

"What are you wearing?" I hear my mom's voice over the phone once my finger presses the answer button.

Walking around the corner, my eyes locate the street that I should be heading according to the address my my grandparents gave me, where I'm supposed to be at before the dinner party.

"Mom you called me you didn't call Jackson." I joke.

"What are you talking about?"

"If you expected the answer for that question the word nothing then you wanted to call Jackson, not me. Wrong number."

A laugh comes out of my mom's mouth. "Lilith! No! I want to know what you're wearing for the dinner party!" I can't help it, a laugh escapes my mouth too.

I'm funny, what can I say?

"And, side note, I don't do that with Jackson."

"Yet."

"No—"

"You're telling me there's no need for that? Ew! Teddy is at the house, you horny people!"

As a long sigh comes my way from my mom, another laugh escapes me. "Is this revenge for me bringing up names for people you might have lost your virginity to?"

"Yes." I don't hesitate on answering.

Revenge. Not a simple word in the Avery bloodline.

"Well done."

"Thank you. And, I'm wearing a suit."

"A suit? Oh, get ready for your grandmother."

"Every dress that I have in my dorm is not very dinner party with a bunch of old people friendly."

"Yeah, I know, you took a couple of my old short dresses and never gave them back."

"The red one? That's a killer! It's mine now."

"Yeah, I know! Why do you think I used to so much?"

"Ew, moooooom—"

"Revenge, Lilith. You got it from me."

"Nice." As I say disgusted, my feet and their loud noise because of my high heels, immediately turn to the side when the same street name that my grandfather told over the phone appears in front of me. This has to be it. If I keep going forward, I will eventually gonna come across whatever this place is.

"Where did you get the suit then?"

"Ada."

"Bless her."

"I don't know, I would've loved to see grandma freaking out because of my ass showing dress."

"Now she's gonna freak out at your not so lady like suit."

"Oh, yeah." I nod, letting out a big smile. "Now I'm back to happy."

"Where are you? I can hear your loud shoes walking."

"I just got off the bus, heading to the address they gave me. It's supposed to be right h—" My mouth suddenly goes shut at what my eyes are seeing.

It's so... big. And shiny.

It's a hotel.

A fucking hotel.

Wait—

Why the hell am I at a hotel?

It looks like a five star. The tall and glass door it's behind a man opening it for the couple that's now entering the building. It has probably more than twenty floors, all illuminated by look a like Christmas lights. Two thin but long trees are by the side of it, covered in those lights as well. The entire building it's a color of dark red with a mix of columns going by the color of gold. It's definitely not something that I stayed at before, in my entire life. But what get the attention of my eyes the most, it's the red carpet going from the street towards the door like the Queen Elizabeth is coming.

"I'm at a hotel?" I ask, still surprised by the sight in front of me.

"They have guests from all places, apparently." My mom talks like she knew this all along. I open my mouth, like the reason why I'm here just hit me. And it did.

"They rented fucking hotel rooms?!"

"Those who can, do, honey."

"Wait— where are you, then?"

"At home."

"And how come grandma rented a hotel room for me when I could've just gone home?"

"I'm pretty sure dad made the reservations."

"That's not fair, I wanted to make a plan on how we were gonna pull a prank with Teddy."

"Call him."

I shake my head as a sigh comes out of my mouth. "It's not the same."

"It's alright. You'll have plenty of time later. Find your room and then a car will pick you up to take you to the house, that fast. We'll see each other soon honey."

"Yeah, I'm still not sure why the reservation for me though."

"Maybe you can ask your grandpa when you see him."

"Yeah—"

A car behind me passing quicker than any other makes my head turn back. Leading my eyes towards the other side of the street, there's nothing more than a couple of dark houses and woods behind them.

The strange wave of being looked at surrounds me, sending chills down my back. I hate it. My eyes want to see what's looking at me, turning to the other side finding no one but the man that's by the door, opening it for another couple, a long sigh comes out of my mouth realising no one's there like a creep, staring.

But those weird feelings inside my stomach don't go away.

A low noise of a branch being broke comes my way.

My eyes don't hesitate on flying towards the trees by the side of the hotel. Seeing nothing but the leaves moving, carried by the wind, the goosebumps appear again. The strange feeling of being looked at doesn't disappear.

I get nervous. My heart speeds as the air coming in and out of my nose gets quicker, allowing me to hear it over the cars now passing behind me. I never get like this. Something's completely off—

"Lilith?" My mom snaps me out of my nervous state, bringing my heart now back to its normal speed.

"What?"

"I asked you about Lucifer."

Rolling my eyes, my head focuses on my mom's words. "Ugh."

A chuckle leaves her mouth. "That's not nice."

"When it comes to Lucifer my ugh barely covers what I feel about him."

Another chuckle, but this one, it's definitely fake. "That's funny. I didn't hear you saying ugh when you were wearing his jacket."

I—

Did she just—?

"It's my time for revenge, mother."

"C'mon, when are you gonna admit that you two are definitely into each other?"

In my worst nightmare.

"If you mean into each other as we want to kill each other? Then, yeah, I admit it."

"Funny."

I smile, as if she can see it. "Got it from my mother."

Another branch getting stepped on. My eyes fly to the trees as my heart speeds again. But I can't see anything. The darkness surrounds them, only the tree up top is illuminated making the lower part even scarier.

Chills rush through my skin. I can't help but look down... it's impossible that I could've heard something from the woods behind me, the cars would prevent it. There's no bushes around me, no fallen branches by my side, not even people walking pass me, there's nothing.

Then why do I get this feeling?

The feeling of somebody looking at me?

Those times where I watched crime shows and the girl was about to get murdered... that's how this feels.

"Lilith." My mom breaks my though. "I said see you later, Teddy needs help with his tie."

"Yeah." I try to focus the words coming at me from my mom, but I can't, the same noise replays itself in my head like a broken record.

"Are you alright?" My mom speaks again.

I have a terrible gut feeling. Worrying her means more trouble, we don't want that. So, instead of telling her the truth, I choose the option that wouldn't freak my mom out. I can handle whatever's looking at me. 

"Yes, yes, just got confused at the hotel entry. Don't worry."

"Alright, see you later, honey. Love you."

"Mom?! I think this thing wants to choke me!" I hear Teddy from a far, gaining a laugh from my part.

"Love you too."

Leaving my phone on my pocket, my eyes don't leave the trees by the side of the building. Another fast car passes behind me. I want to look at it, my eyes turn to it, but it's long gone. So, my head goes back to the trees.

Nothing.

Not even a shadow or an animal peeking through, letting me know it was them making that noise. My heart isn't speeding just like my breath is normal. Even if my gut feeling still tells me that something's wrong, I walk on the red carpet towards the door, ready to get inside and forget all about this little moment— another sound.

Alright, what the fuck?

I won't get close to it, that's how people get killed. And being still in place too, I should be running inside the hotel right now. But my curiosity is bigger. Way bigger. I want to know why I have this feeling of being looked at.

Maybe is someone looking through a window at the strange girl being weirder out by some tree.

The branches being broken? An animal.

I'm being paranoid.

Yeah, that's how people get murdered too, believing that is nothing.

Another branch.

If someone is spying on me, they're terrible at their job. Honestly, I would do better. My eyes locate the tree where the sound came from, even if my sight isn't perfect, now that's I'm closer I can see better the darkness.

Closing them a bit, my focusing surrounds the lower part of the tree.

Something's moving...

A shadow...

What's that?

I can definitely see a shadow stepping to the side... or is that the wind?

Now it's back behind the tree.

Fuck.

Am I gonna get killed right now—? A strange hand touches my left shoulder.

"Aaah!" My hand flies backwards, with the intention to hit the strange person behind me.

But they stop it.

"Lilith?"

I can recognise that annoying voice anywhere.

Lucifer's standing in front of me while his hand grabs mine, preventing it from slapping his face. Wearing an entirely black suit with a silver necklace hanging from his neck, shining under the lights of the building, he stares at my eyes with his now even greener and standing out because of his dark outfit. His hair isn't messy, just enough, where his curls can lay there freely, fitting his face perfectly.

"You wanted to slap me?" The coldness of the rings around his fingers touch the skin of my hand, still wrapped around his. Realising where my hand is, I quickly slip it out of his grip, bringing it back to the side of my body.

"You scared me!" I complain "I didn't know it was you." Me and Lucifer fighting the other night comes back to my head, allowing me to feel the anger I felt last time I saw those eyes staring me. "Otherwise, I would've done it with more strength."

There it is.

Giving me side smile, Lucifer tilts his head to the side pityingly. "Like you can hit me, Lilith."

A chuckle escapes my mouth. This guy really thinks that the anger inside of me won't give me the strength and speed to be able to hit him? "Want me to try it again?"

"Want to have a slap fight right now or answer my question, why were you watching that tree?"

His question takes me off guard. "What?"

"You were staring like a crazy person."

If no one else heard and saw what I did, then, yeah, I must've looked out of the psych ward. "I thought I saw something." I simple reply remembering the little moment with the branch and the shadow.

"You thought you saw something? Like what?"

"A shadow."

"A shadow?" His confused expression suddenly turns into a smile. "Are we talking about a ghost or...?"

Oh, would you look at that, Lucifer can get more annoying. I thought it was impossible.

"I'm serious, Lucifer!"

"So am I!"

"I heard something too!"

He lifts an eyebrow, without making the smile disappear from his face. "Around the tree?"

"Yes!"

"It's probably an animal, don't worry about it."

"And what about the shadow?"

"You mean the ghost?" Maybe I wasn't the one who was gonna die tonight, it was Lucifer! Killed by the one and only, Lilith Avery! "What, you want to slap me again?" He lets out with the most cockiness tone ever.

Honestly, I have to save this energy to deal with my grandmother tonight. Not him.

I'm done.

Rolling my eyes, my feet turn my body around heading towards the front door. "Bye, Lucifer. I hope you choke on your food."

"Wait." I hear his voice talking and his footsteps walking behind me.

"No." I smile at the man opening the door thanking him, and finally, I walk through.

The inside is everything I would've expect when I saw the outside. A huge chandelier hangs from the ceiling reaching almost to the floor, lighting the entire room. It's not tiny to left it aside, the room is so big I can barely see the front desk and the woman behind it. By the left and right, two stairs go around it towards the elevators, fancy as the carpet my shoes are stepping on. Matching the outside, the walls are the same color, a dark red covered by thin stripes of gold. If I didn't know better, I would think it's actual gold.

"Lilith." I hear Lucifer calling my name behind me.

Regaining my walk, I don't even give him a look. "Not available, try again later. Bye."

"Just— damn, you're fast, hold on!"

His loud steps follow mine as we both make our way towards the front desk. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"This is the address your grandfather sent me."

Grandpa gave Lucifer this address too?

Oh, no.

Fuck.

And how I like to say, a double fuck too.

"Oh, shit, you're staying here too?" I can't help but give a disgusted look, the last thing I expected tonight was having to share the same hotel with Lucifer Donovan. I don't even want to share the same universe right now.

"Apparently."

"The nightmare becomes even worst."

"Don't worry, if I'm lucky, our rooms are as far as possible."

"Hopefully. I wouldn't like to hear your annoying voice any more seconds of my night."

"Hi, welcome to the Parlor Hotel," the woman behind the front desk speaks before Lucifer can let out a response "how can I help you?"

Glad that she did so, I give her the same smile she sends my way. "I'm here for the dinner party? My name's Lilith Avery."

"Oh, perfect! You have," she types on her computer "room number 12." Reaching behind her and picking up a single key from the wall, covered in different ones, I wonder how the hell did she knew which one it was that quickly.

Feeling Lucifer behind me, his body getting closer, my mind can't help but place its focus on him. By the corner of my eye, his tattooed hand reaches over to the sleeve of his right arm and fixes it. His watch peeks through leading my eyes to it, admiring the veins in his hand still moving around, looking soft as ever. It's so fucking attractive, that I can't stop staring at him. "Here's your key." The woman speaking and waving the key in front of me turns my attention to her, thankfully, I don't want Lucifer to know I was staring. "The first elevator will take you there."

I grab the key she hands me. "Thank you." Finally, I can leave to my suppose room and leave Lucifer behind.

"And your boyfriend is?" The woman stops my walk.

Excuse me— what?

Boyfriend? Lucifer?!

"I'm not her boyfriend." Lucifer replies before I can, giving the woman a simple shake, but when he turns to me, all he does is give me a disgusted look.

"Yeah," I reply annoyed at his eyes looking at me like that "he wishes."

"Oh, sorry. Mr. Avery said that his granddaughter was gonna come with her boyfriend, my mistake. Apologies."

Ooooooh, Philip.

Nice move.

"I'm Lucifer Donovan."

"You're on room 13, the elevator one will take you to our floor."

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

"Excuse me—" I speak before seeing Lucifer's face, probably as annoyed as I am "is there any possibility that I can change rooms? Far away as possible from room 13?" Giving Lucifer a look, I catch his eyes rolling. "Like, on the last floor?" I go back to the woman who's slowly shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Avery, but we're all booked. And Mr. Avery specifically told me that no one can change rooms."

If Philip Avery made his mission for tonight annoying me, he's terribly succeeding.

"It's fine, thank you anyway." I simple reply turning around, leaving the receptionist and heading towards the elevators. "I'll just jump out the window and die. That's probably better."

"Tell me when you do it." Lucifer speaks by my side, walking to the elevator as well. Leaning closer to my face giving me a smile, he gives a quick look to my lips but soon goes back to my eyes, winking at me. "I want to see you do it and enjoy it."

Would it look bad if I punch him right in the middle of a five star hotel?

Would I look crazy? Totally inside?

What's another day, huh?

"You won't because I'm gonna push you first." I say holding the thought and my need of slapping the side of his face. But when he lets out a low laugh with an even bigger cocky smile, my body fights with all the strength it has to keep it in.

C'mon, one slap!

"So you jump after me?" Just one—! "What, can't live without me?"

ONE?!

WE'RE GONNA NEED AT LEAST FOUR!

Just, shut up!

Rolling my eyes, my feet start to go up the stairs. Lucifer follows very closely, by the side of my body as if his voice wasn't annoying me enough. "I'm a 100% sure my life would be better if you weren't in it." I finally let out.

"Probably. But I can already see you calling me in the middle of night," he lowers his voice, deeply and raspy, only for me to hear "because no guy can make you feel like I do, Avery."

Maybe six punches?

I fake chuckle escapes my mouth. "Yes, oh my god, because I need you so bad, Donovan! You don't even know! It's not like I can make myself feel good, you need to do it, please!" Not caring about if people heard me or not, trying to get rid of him and ending the conversation, my finger pressed the elevator button to call it.

Waiting, a long sigh escapes my mouth hoping to not hear Lucifer's voice again. But, his shoulder touching mine once he stands by my side, my eyes can't help but turn to him seeing the side smile forming on his lips. "I love it when you talk sarcastic to me. Please, love, do it more." Lucifer's needy tone makes my ears want for more.

My heart skips a beat. Something about the word love coming out of his mouth... he has called me love multiple times, annoying me, but this time, why is my heart reacting like this? "Are you still annoyed at me?" Lucifer asks since there's no reply from me.

Snapping from the strange feeling inside of me, my eyes go back to the elevator still coming. "When am I not annoyed at you?"

"When I make you—"

"Don't even finish that sentence."

"C'mon," the elevator's noise of being stopped comes to me, I turn my head towards it to finally see the doors opening and make my way inside "don't be mad at me." Lucifer follows me. Does he have to take the same elevator?! "We're probably not gonna even see each other at the party, too many people to talk to, too many food to try—"

The elevator starts.

"Don't get close to my family and we won't see each other."

"What if Teddy wants to say hi?"

"I'll tell him that you're actually the real Lucifer and you want to eat his soul."

A chuckle leaves his mouth. "And that you're Lilith? The mother of demons?"

I nod. "And I'll eat his soul too if he talks to you."

"What a lovely big sister."

"Thank you," level one "now, move along and let's not see each ever again." I step out with the intention to find my room. "Fuck you and good bye."

Turning to the side not caring about Lucifer and our conversation anymore, my eyes follow the numbers on every room I pass. It's so quiet, nothing from the rooms or people passing by, just the sound of my shoes as my feet keep taking me further into the hallway.

Room number 8.

It has to be close.

Number 9.

Number 10.

Number 11.

Got it.

Room number 12.

Finally, getting inside my room will prevent Lucifer from annoying me any further. Don't want to hear his voice.

"I'm gonna say hi to your family, Avery."

Fuck.

Before I can even place my hand on the handle to open the door, my feet stop processing Lucifer's words. "Are you dying to make me mad again?" I finally turn around expecting to find his cocky smile, enjoying my annoyance, but no, my eyes see nothing more than a genuine smile.

"No," he replies shaking his head "I think it would be rude to not say hi to your family. I'm just giving you a heads up so you get all the anger out right now and won't scratch my skin in front of your family. It's not gonna  look good."

"They'll want to talk to you."

"I don't mind."

"I do."

"Why?" He confusingly asks, even if we already had this conversation before.

"Not this again, Lucifer." I'm seriously drained of energy and I still have to deal with my grandmother. I don't have time for this.

"If you give me a solid reason why you don't want me talking to them, then I won't." Crossing his arms waiting for an answer, Lucifer's eyes don't leave mine.

Simple shrugging my shoulders, I shake my head. "Just don't."

"That's not—"

"I know!"

"You're just being silly!" He matches my loud tone.

Silly?! Why am I acting silly?!

"What?!"

"Childish!"

"Me?!"

"Yes! Why are you making such a big deal out of something so simple like a dinner party?!"

"And why is it so hard for you to just accept what I say?!"

"Because I don't get it! Why don't you want me even close to your family?"
I don't know. "I'm starting to feel like those guys you see in movies where the popular girl is ashamed of the guy and won't introduce him to her friends! It sucks!"

"Don't compare this to a movie, Lucifer."

"That's how I'm feeling right now!" He gets even louder. "And I don't know why!"

"Stop yelling!"

"I'm the one that's mad right now!"

"Why are you mad?!"

"I don't—" He suddenly stops like the words aren't coming to his head. "I don't know!"

"See?! It's not that easy to explain!"

"Fuck! Why is this so complicated with you?!"

"That's me, Lucifer. If you don't like it, then fuck off! The door is way opened!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

My hand reaches over to the handle ready to open it before Lucifer can let out anything else. The sound of our doors closing don't pass unnoticed, I'm sure the entire hotel heard our anger through them.

Once inside, I let out the longest sigh ever.

Who's he to tell that I'm being silly?!

Huh?!

No one! He doesn't get to decide when I'm being silly or not! Besides, right now, I'm not being silly! Just because I don't want him here doesn't make my act childish! Me not wanting the guy I hate hanging out with my family is good enough reason!

Just... ugh!

Lucifer's so fucking annoying!

Childish?! Me?! He's childish! Not me! It's not strange to not want someone around my family!

Why did grandpa had to invite him? Can he just stay in his business?!

Shit!

Fuck!

Universe! Make Lucifer Donovan disappear! Is that too much to ask?!

"Ugh!" I drop my body on the bed.

Alright. I need to calm down. If I don't, my fists in gonna end up on his face. Even if I want to do it, it won't look nice on Teddy's party.

Stop thinking about Lucifer.

Stop.

I close my eyes.

His smile appears in front of me.

Stop.

His messy hairs wave around gently as he gets close to me.

No.

He leans even closer, giving me a side smile.

Stop! No!

He closes his eyes, ready to kiss me.

I brusquely open my eyes getting up from the bed, allowing my feet to wonder around the room.

I'm so tired of him!

Stop, stop, stop. Stop thinking about him.

Another sigh comes out of my mouth... Silly?! I'm not being silly! Stupid... boy!

And why did he got mad? Telling me that he feels like those guys in movies! What does he expect? Me? Waving him around while yelling look, look, here's Lucifer!?

I still don't get it, him getting like that, waiting for me to be excited that he was invited. We're supposed to be enemies... hate each other. Despise one another. Not be thrilled that we're gonna be in the same dinner party. What's that all about?

Someone knocks on my door.

It better not be Lucifer, otherwise I don't guarantee the palm of my hand stopping itself.

As I let out yet another sigh, my feet take me towards the door to answer the stranger calling to it. My hand reaches the handle, ready to open it.

It swings wide.

Lucifer with heavy breathing is on the other side.

My body freezes. The way that he's staring at me with shining eyes, glancing over to my lips quickly, like he can't control it. I don't say anything, the words don't come to me.

What am I doing? Tell him to fuck off. Yell at him. Insult him. Anything.

My mouth doesn't open. It's tangled by the sight of Lucifer admiring my face and eyes, waiting to do something.

What's he waiting for?

Without giving me time to even give it a second thought, his body walks inside my room as his hands grab my cheeks holding me in place.

Like he's been dying to do it, Lucifer kisses me with the desire of a hundred men combined. Desperate for our lips to taste the other as if tomorrow there isn't a day to live, our kiss being the last thing we do.

I respond to it, more like my body responds to it. My lips don't hold back when it comes to following the kiss, the same rhythm he's doing, like his lips are the music and mine are the dancers, not wanting to miss a single beat.

One of his hands lets go of my cheek to close the door behind us. Once he's over with that, he manages to move my body backwards until my back hits the wall. Still, with our desperate kiss, in need for the other.

My heart speeds wanting to jump out and finish the kiss itself, or even better for it, make it last forever. His thick lips carry the warmth to mine, sending it like the electric waves of a cable being plugged in.

Not giving me a second to breathe, now both of his hands are away from my cheeks to grab my wrists and place them on top of my head. Bringing his body closer to mine, he presses it up against my skin for me to feel the heat surrounding us.

My body wants more, lifting my chin up and standing on my tiptoes, I manage to feel his chest hit mine, breathing heavily as the kiss and the lust flying through our bodies won't let us take a break.

Quickly, his tongue makes its way inside my mouth. Swirling around with mine, the wetness of each other make my stomach tingle. I open my mouth wider for him to have more space inside of me. Noticing this, Lucifer doesn't hold back and slips more of his tongue into me to the point of being comfortable, not my throat wanting to gag.

But it's not enough.

I want more of him.

Everything.

I try to get his hand to let go of my wrists by pulling them down. Lucifer doesn't listen, holding them still in place, he places his body closer to mine, almost as if he wants to combined our bodies together and become one.

Since the kiss began, neither of us gave the hint of wanting to break it. It's like the fight from earlier grew the desire for each other in our bodies, taking control of us and our actions. We've been here before, I don't fight it, the opposite, I let it happen.

I don't want to pull away.

He doesn't either.

Our lips devour each other, tasting and needing, it feels like there's no stopping us— "Ms. Avery?" The voice of the receptionist comes from the door brusquely breaking us apart. "Your car is here."

"Fuck." Lucifer complains with a raspy tone as he closes his eyes. I don't find anything to say, my breathing is still trying to control itself after the kiss. Letting go of my wrists, Lucifer places the palm of both his hands on my cheeks, gently grabbing them with his thumb caressing my skin.

Shit.

"C'mon, Avery" he says in a whisper "we have a party to attend do. Let's just stop before I make you arrive late."

Without waiting for a response from me, he lets go of my body and heads towards the door. The surprised face of the receptionist appears in my sight once it's open, allowing her to see my stunned expression. "Mr. Donovan. You're sharing the car with Ms. Avery."

"Great." I hear him say without turning to face me. And just like that, all that's left in the room once he walks outside is me and my inability to talk or even process what just happened, and the receptionist still waiting for me trying to hide her confusion.

My lips still have the tact of his in them. Warm and soft, playing around as if it was the last breath he was ever gonna take. My heart speeding is the consequences, allowing for my heavy and quick breathing on my chest to feel accompanied by the same speed.

"Ms. Avery?" The soft time of the woman leads my eyes to her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." I quickly reply not wanting her to worry. I'd do it if I saw a girl looking like me after being alone with a man. Composing myself, my back leaves the wall for my feet to take me towards the door, where the receptionist is still waiting for me. "We better get to the car." I say, trying for my words to come out normally and not breathlessly. "Don't you think?"

She nods, giving me a smile. "As you wish. This way." Immediately turning around, leading my way towards the stairs, my feet don't hesitate on following her.

I'm glad, otherwise, if they waited for my head, we wouldn't me moving anywhere since it can't stop thinking about the kiss.

We've kissed so many times. We both showed how we wanted each other while our bodies touched, nothing comparing to it. But this time, this time it felt different. The kiss was a mix of emotions, the fight, my messy thoughts, my nerves for the dinner party, it all was thrown into our lips together.

No words coming out of our mouths, and it has my body questioning everything that just happened like he explained the beginning of the universe to me.

Why did he do that? Why did he kissed me like that?

Yes, it's a common thing for us to want each other after fighting. That's us. But this kiss, it didn't have hate in it, no anger, more like us wanting the other as if we're two people that deeply need the other to survive. Breathe.

I must be mistaken. There's no way we could ever feel anything more than hate towards the other, that's what we are to each other and it's never gonna change. Right?

Before I can ever remember that I'm walking to the car following the receptionist, the cold wind blowing around my skin makes my head come back to the current place I'm in. A black car parked in the street right in front of me makes my eyes go a bit wide for the way it shines, fancy and expensive. Definitely.

My eyes don't hold back when Lucifer appears in my sight once again. With a cigarette between his lips, he has his right hand inside of his pocket looking down at the floor. The intrigue of what's he thinking comes through, maybe the kiss? Us? Why the hell did it feel like that?

Even if maybe he's thinking about all of those things like me, Lucifer doesn't look like he's thinking at all. His expression is a relaxed one, chill under the moonlight illuminating him. Letting go of the smoke from his mouth, he finally looks up meeting my eyes. But he doesn't do anything, not even a grin, a roll of his eyes, he just stares at me and my body for a second with no change of his expression, to then turn around and face our ride for the night.

I am so confused right now.

This is gonna be a hella of a long night, even my body is sure of it.

Without thinking about it, once I see Lucifer getting inside the car from the left side, my feet make their way towards it from the other side. I don't even have to open the door, the chofer opens it for me making me feel like the richest person in the building.

Surely what my grandmother usually feels like, slowly dragging me into her world every time there's an event organised by her.

I can immediately feel how my body tenses up when my ears hear the door being closed, leaving Lucifer and I alone inside the car. Silence, nothing but silence follows. Even if I wanted to say something, what could possibly come out of my mouth?

Slightly moving my knee to the side to get more comfortable on my seat and maybe, maybe slip away this awkwardness and nerves my body seems to be having, it suddenly touches his.

I remove it immediately, speeding up my heart and my tongue to get frozen again. I don't know what to do, after that kiss, my mind and body are just a complete and strange mess.

Lucifer isn't looking at me, he doesn't seem to mind the tension going on between us. Or, there's a possibility that there isn't anything coming from him and it's all me, going crazy because of a stupid kiss. Having his eyes glued to the window by his side, I take the opportunity to admire his side profile. I've never actually sat down and stopped to stare it, hate to admit, but he has a damn good one. His long eyelashes, having the perfect wave appearing as if they had more length. His nose with a little curve in it, fitting in perfectly with the rest of his face. Going down, my eyes locate his lips shining because of their wetness. As usual, thick and pinkish, allowing for mine to grow a tiny desire to taste them. The little space between his lips and chin, so delicate that I think my pinky could fit in between...

What am I doing?

Stop staring.

Realising what I'm doing, since Lucifer doesn't even acknowledge my presence by his side, I turn my head towards my window to stare outside, where the hotel is still where I last saw it since the car hasn't even moved yet.

"Are we ready?" The chofer talking to us lead my eyes to him in the front seat. There's a tiny space for him to pop his head out, just a bit.

"Yes." I nod without wanting to let a lot of words out.

Yeah, a new thing for me.

Moving his eyes away from me, the chofer turns to Lucifer, who's still looking out the window, lost in his own thoughts. "Mr. Donovan?"

Lucifer, for the first time since I got inside the car, locks eyes with me. They don't stay long with mine, after a couple of seconds, they go to my lips for the tiniest moment. But enough for me to acknowledge it.

"Yeah." He finally says, softly, as if his brain didn't thought the word before.

And just like that, the chofer finally closes the tiny window between us and him, to start the car and head our way towards my grandparents' house.

Silence. Again.

My eyes don't stare at him like last time, the moment he turns his head to the other side, I do the same following him. Trying to focus on something else besides him and the tension my body is experiencing, the trees outside my window become suddenly really interesting.

They're tall, green, some darker than others, and they go fast. Just like the car I'm in right now...

And just like my heart too.

Why is my heart beating so fast? And why am I biting my lip nervously?

I have to stop.

Now my knee is bouncing up and down, quickly.

Lucifer moves by my side.

The trees, think about the trees...

Another sound from him.

The mix of emotions about going to my grandparents' house, where I don't share the most happy memories of my childhood, and Lucifer, who has my mind and heart going insane... I'm gonna lose my shit before my feet even step outside this car.

"Stop biting your lip." The sound of Lucifer's voice makes my head quickly look towards him, finding his eyes already on mine.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Stop biting your fucking lip." Letting out with a firm and strong tone, his eyes look down to them, slightly opened by the surprise of the words coming out of his mouth.

"Why does that sound like a demand?"

Lucifer doesn't reply immediately, instead, when my lips go shut, his eyes can't stay away from them focusing in every move they make. As a long breath comes out of his mouth, almost as if he's annoyed at what he's doing, finally, his eyes go back to mine. "Because it is."

"Stop looking at me if you find that annoying." My reply comes out automatic, like my brain already knows how's to behave when Lucifer's talking.

"I don't find it annoying."

"Then why do you want me to stop?"

"You know why." His words come out like a whisper, making my tone appear louder.

"No, I don't."

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"What you're doing."

"What is that?"

"Stop."

"No."

"Lilith."

"Why did you kiss me?"

Did I just say that?

I let out so rushed that it takes me a couple of seconds to process my own question. For Lucifer is the same, he stays quiet as if his brain is trying to decide if he actually heard that coming out of my mouth or was just his head.

"What?"

There's not point of backtracking now, he heard me and there's no way he's gonna forget or even let it go. "Why did you kiss me?" I ask again, making my tone firmer.

Lucifer doesn't have an answer, he just stares at my eyes as the words don't seem to want to come out of his mouth. For the way that his eyes shine, unknown to the why of his actions, enable to even let out a single excuse, I know he also has the feeling of the kiss being different.

"Lucifer—"

"I don't know, Lilith."

"You need to have a reason."

He slowly shakes his head, giving up on finding an answer. "I don't have one."

"You wanted to sleep with me?" I find a reason for him. It has to be. What else could it be?

But he doesn't agree with me, instead, shaking his head once again he leans closer to my face "Why do you think every time I want to kiss you is because I want to sleep with you?"

"Because that's what we do, Lucifer."

"Lilith."

"That's what no strings means."

"Lilith." I hear his voice calling my name, almost like a plead.

"What?"

His mouth doesn't open, but it doesn't matter, his eyes are doing all the talking for him. They go down to my lips, admiring them and everything they have to offer. Shining under the poor light of the outside and the street lights passing, there's no doubt in my body that he has the need to kiss me. I've seen this look before, moments of us sleeping with the other. But just like the kiss, it's totally different. They shine different, almost as if the only part of his body that wants to touch me are his lips. Kissing me like there's an undying growth in his body that isn't gonna stop until his over me.

"Stop." His voice stops me from thinking about his actions.

I slowly shake my head. "I'm not doing anything."

Lucifer leans further into my face. "Then why do I want to kiss you right now?" His hand suddenly touches mine, the one that's laying by the side of my body. "Why do I want to kiss you when you're only talking? When you're just looking at me?"

He leans even closer "Lucifer...." I let out, but, he doesn't listen. With his other hand, he reaches over to my cheek and pulls me closer for him to be able to feel my breathing brush his skin.

"Lucifer..." I try to control the situation again.

"Shut up." It's a complete fail. Our lips are centimetres away, needing each other even if they had one another minutes ago.

"The chofer..." My eyes go down to his lips, I can't help it, I lean closer too.

"He can't see us." Whispering his words out, Lucifer caresses the skin on my cheek sending a tingle to the pit of my stomach.

"Lucifer..." The word comes out of my mouth without my brain acknowledging it. It's automatic, because my body wants nothing more than Lucifer kissing the shit out of my lips. "Lucifer—"

"Just, fucking shut up and let me kiss you, Lilith."

The air wanting to come inside my nose doesn't make it, Lucifer's lips crashing against mine wins. Different from the last one, it isn't fast and desperate, our lips are taking the time to get used to the other and the slow rhythm Lucifer has thrown at me.

Warm and soft, his way of carrying me makes my skin get goosebumps. How his hand is holding my cheek tightly, his other one caressing my fingers as if they were the softest teddy bear in the world.

Lucifer gets quicker. His lips want more, and I don't mind, mine do too.
Our bodies join closer, allowing for our lips to be more comfortable playing around with each other.

It's strange, but it isn't difficult for us to get used to the other. Usually, when you kiss someone, even if is the hundredth time you kiss them, it feels weird. The way that two different set of lips join together to kiss it's already strange, trying to follow the same rhythm, wondering if you should speed or not, if any tongue gets thrown into the mix. Wonder after wonder. But with Lucifer, him and I just seem to... work.

"We're here, Ms. Avery and Mr. Donovan." The voice of the chofer breaks us apart. Brusquely, I move my body away from Lucifer before any of eyes fix themselves on us. "Enjoy the evening!"

"Lilith!" Swinging the door open, the voice of Philip hits my ears before I can even locate my eyes on Lucifer to see what's he doing or if he's even out of the car. "Come here!" Almost dragging me out of the vehicle, Philip wraps my arm around his walking me a couple of steps away from the car. People talking, walking, laughing are around me. So many things happened at once, that I'm having trouble getting used to my surroundings. Not even my eyes can focus.

All I can think about right now is Lucifer.

Our kiss in the car, the kiss at the hotel... him confessing to me that he wants to kiss me without us needing to sleep with each other afterwards. His words felt so genuine, almost as if the confusion inside of him came out from his mouth, bringing to me whatever had troubling his mind so much. I want to get him out of my head, stop annoying my thoughts and making my heart speed, but I can't, even if I try to place my focus on my grandfather who's waving at his guests while having his arm around my shoulders, once Lucifer appears on my sight walking towards us with a tiny smile and sad eyes, my breathing stops for a second.

My throat closes. Something gets caught allowing for me to trouble when I try to swallow, Lucifer walks closer... my chest goes up and down quickly, absorbing every piece of air that it can. I have to bite my lower lip to make it hurt and turn that pain into the main one, since my throat wanting to scream and let it all out annoys me. My eyes too.

Why am I feeling like this?

I want to cry.

I swallow again to fight in it. Another chunk of air comes inside my body through my mouth, my heart races and my eyes can't seem to get away from Lucifer, who's now by my grandfather's side. My body needs to hug him, feel Lucifer around me warming up my body, allowing him to make all of this pain to go away...

Stop.

We hate him.

"Lucifer!" Philip says excitedly causing me to bite my lower lip with even more strength. The little I have left. "Come here!" With his other arm, my grandfather brings Lucifer closer to his body and hugs him just like he's doing with me. Suddenly, when I can finally let a long and relaxing breath out, Lucifer meets my eyes once Philip moves his attention to a new guest arriving. He gives me a smile, not a cocky one or even a smirk, just a genuine little smile. My heart is not racing anymore, my breathing slowly brings itself back to normal as my throat opens up.

I don't get the feeling of crying anymore.

My mouth doesn't give the same smile to him, instead, I fight it away. No idea why. But biting my lower lip once again, I take all of my strength and move my eyes away from him even if my heart is telling at me to not do so.

"Welcome to my humble abode, Mr. Donovan." Philip says slightly shaking his arm. As I take my eyes towards the front of the house, my body can feel Lucifer's eyes on me, but I don't meet them as if he isn't there to begin with.

Me? Crying over a boy? Not even in my worst fucking nightmare. No. It can't happen again. No messy thoughts, no throat wanting to close, no questions without answers, I'm done for the night.

The house. Where I remember being lost at millions of times, physically and mentally. Not being able to breathe, feeling the pressure of being the perfect child, and hearing screaming after screaming. Fighting with my grandmother, my mother fighting with my grandmother, trying to protect Teddy from all of that, crying because of it, wanting to rip all of my fancy clothing away, jumping off the balcony to escape it, horrible after horrible memory slipping through. Other than that, it has a great front lawn.

A long driveway it's the first thing everyone can see when you walk inside the property, covered in dark green grass by the side perfectly cut, allowing me to bring the memory of Joyce yelling at me to not step on it. Once you get in front of the house, a big and tall brown door welcomes you. Old, like those I see at abandoned buildings, or even at haunted houses, where two wide and gold rings hang by the it waiting to be moved to make a noise. Vintage.

The color of the outside hasn't changed, a bit of a rusty yet clean bright color of brown. Some of it is covered by flowers and leafs hanged on the wall, or even that fall from the balcony on top. My mom's room. Yeah, where I used to escape this hell from just like she taught me.

What's always been the main focus of the entire front yard, is the beautiful and well grown garden on the left side of the house Joyce has been taking care of since I have a memory. Every Sunday, she would make me come with her and cut the flowers that had a different color from the others, bringing nothing but a falling balance to her garden. I didn't want to, of course, I wanted them to stay and be given a second chance. They were different, why did they had to be cut away? But no, Joyce couldn't stand it.  They had to go.

Maybe a great way to explain the difference between her and I.

"It's wonderful, Mr. Avery." Lucifer's voice brings me back to the party I'm in, hearing once again the people arriving and talking as they go inside the house. I try my hardest to not lead my eyes towards him, and I'm glad that Philip started walking us to the front door ready to head us into the party, my high heels not stepping into something is an excellent attention taker.

"Oh, c'mon! Call me Philip!" I hear a chuckle coming Lucifer.

High heels not making me fall, high heels not making me fall, high heels not making me fall.

The living room that I'm now in, makes the smell of fresh lavender go inside my nose. Just like the soft piano playing, the noise of people talking surrounds me. Two of the guests walking by being followed by my eyes, I take it upon myself to bring memories that these dark brown walls hold. Screaming, complaints, tears, loud steps, and many other noises that bring nothing but the feeling of a tight chest.

The whole house it's decorated with vintage and natural color looking furniture. It's always been a hobbie of Joyce to decor, make the house appear like the most rich house ever. It's her way of saying to the world that she has money, without even letting a word out.

A simple table with a bunch of roses in a elegant basket in the middle of a hallway takes all the attention. I remember the carpet underneath it, tripping me as a child more times that I could count. Followed by a lecture from Joyce on why I shouldn't even walk closer to that table.

On the left side, a room follows the hallway. I don't even have to look to know what's in it, the fireplace that would heat mom and I after a long dinner party of being outside with only two elegant sweaters to make us warm. Being five and almost freezing to death isn't a fun experience. Two couches in front of it, where Philip used to sit and read the paper with a whisky in hand. Ignoring me, as if my presence was nothing but a ghost. My throat has trouble swallowing again as my head brings that painful memory back, how much it hurt to watch a man you're supposed to look up to ignoring you. Yeah, not my favorite moment with him.

On the other side of the hallway, where I know I'm supposed to walk towards, a long table stands in the middle where to doors can be seen on either side, being the way for all the people working at the party to the kitchen. The wallpaper get my eyes, dark blue with flowers all over it. I used to hate it as a kid, but now that I look at it... yeah, my taste when I was ten wasn't wrong at all.

"Joyce must be waiting for you two. Let's look for her— oh, hey! There's your mom, Lilith!"

Brusquely looking up to meet my mom's eyes, for the first time, I let out a genuine smile already wanting my feet to take me to her. But before I can, a silver short head stops me from doing so.

"There you two are!" The sound of Joyce complaining tone arrives in front of me. With her perfectly cut hair and a simple makeup up with shining lips, her elegant light brown dress that go well with her black shows, Joyce gives Philip and I a quick look before turning her annoyed look into the fakest smile ever, not wanting to alert the guest around us. "I've been looking everyone for you two." Not acknowledging Lucifer's presence, Joyce's mouth lets go of a long relaxing breath, happy that she found what she was looking for.

"Honey, I was just saying hello to the guest!" Philip complains as if he had done nothing wrong.

"I know," Joyce doesn't even give me another look, she starts to arrange Philip's tie to make it look better "but there's no need to wait them outside, we're not the maid, Philip. I need you to take a picture with Harrison." A strange name comes out of Joyce's mouth. And for the way that Philip opens his eyes wide, something tells me he's someone important.

"Harrison Lawrence?"

"Yes, the Harrison Lawrence."

"Oh, that's wonderful!"

"He came all this way from London to meet you, we can't make him wait." Finishing with Philip's tie, Joyce finally meets my eyes. Looking me up and down, I wait for her disapproval words. "Lilith."

"Grandma."

"A suit?"

"Yes..."

"You look..." she looks me up and down once again "nice. I like what you did with your makeup."

Wait—

Huh?!

"What?" I let out, processing what came out of my grandmother's mouth. "Did I just enter a alternative reality?"

Turning around ignoring my comment, Joyce leads the way towards the mysterious Harrison Lawrence. "C'mon, I left Harrison by the drinks." Philip drags Lucifer and I with him, without unlocking his arms with ours.

"Is no one gonna comment on grandma saying that I look nice?"

"Hopefully" Joyce continues "the whisky that I gave Harrison and his son got him entertained while I went looking for you."

"Did I suddenly became invisible?"

Nice?! Why would Joyce say that? And why is she ignoring me right now? What could she possibly earn from complimenting me?

"Honey," Philip says noticing my tiny inner freak out "don't you think Lucifer and Lilith look great tonight?"

"I already said she looks nice." Joyce doesn't stop with her determined walk towards the drinks by the end of the room where the long table is.

"What about Lucifer?"

Joyce doesn't reply. Not even a fake chuckle comes out of her mouth. Something tells me Lucifer is here against her will, probably all Philip's doing.

Realising that no words are gonna come out of Joyce's mouth whatsoever, Philip turns to Lucifer giving him a genuine big smile. "You look absolutely elegant, Lucifer."

"Thank you, Sr." Hearing his raspy words, my eyes locate themselves on his green eyes. Lucifer doesn't wait any longer, he meets my eyes too. I immediately let them go, staring at my grandmother and her loud shoes taking us somewhere. "Sorry, Philip." I hear Lucifer correct himself after probably getting a look from my grandfather.

"And look, I got the necklace!"

"It definitely suits you. Goes with the gold ring."

"That's exactly why I got it! I'm glad you noticed! And I've also noticed that you're quite a ring carrier, aren't you?"

"Yes, one of my favorite things to use."

"I've heard that rings are a special attraction for women, is that correct?"

"I— I think so."

"Would you say that Lilith likes them?"

Excuse me?!

"Grandpa—" I brusquely turn to him but meet Lucifer's eyes instead, finding a tiny grin placed on his lips.

"I could say that, yes."

"Then there's another reason to wear them more often."

What's Philip on about?!

"Yeah, maybe."

Ugh.

Tired of Lucider and Philip's conversation, my eyes lead to my grandmother still focused on her mission: get grandpa to get that picture with Harrison, whoever the fuck he is. "Do we have to meet this guy too, grandma?" I complain. "Because grandpa is definitely dragging me with him."

"Yes." She doesn't even turn around to face me.

"Why?"

Suddenly stopping, Joyce brusquely meets my eyes to then walk towards me, where I also stopped. "Fix your hair." Flying her hands to my hair, I can't even prevent her from trying to brush my wavy curls away.

"It's fine like this." Moving my head backwards, trying my hardest to keep Joyce away, the way that she strongly brings me back to her almost makes my skin hurt. "Stop— Grandma..."

"It's a mess."

"I think it looks nice." Lucifer's voice gets our attention. As we both slowly turn to him, I can already see the regret of letting out those words in his eyes.

"No, it doesn't." Joyce kills Lucifer with every power she has. Going back to me, she moves my head towards her to be more comfortable and for me to let go of Lucifer looking at me like he's sorry he couldn't save me.

"I thought I heard you say I looked nice or was that my other grandmother?" I complain again.

Shaking her head, she now closes the blazer for my boobs to be more covered. "Not for what you're about to do—"

"What am I about to do?" I ask, confused.

"Mom," the voice of my mom saves me from questioning Joyce "why don't you let Lilith and Lucifer meet Teddy first?" Finally, meeting her eyes I can finally set myself free and walk towards her. Her typical wavy and long hair shines through, her tight black dress with silk roses on her chest reaches to her knees, ending with some high red heels that go perfectly with the roses and her shiny lips. My mom always with her great style.

"Mom." Hugging her, all the stress and confusion my mind was going through finally erases, brining in the warmth a mother always knows how to give.

"She went crazy?" She asks me for only her and I to hear.

"Strangely," I shake my head, gaining a confused look from her and a lifted eyebrow "no."

"Celia," Joyce gets our attention, making us both turn to her impatiently waiting for us "your daughter—"

"My daughter and her friend, Lucifer," she walks towards Philip and unwraps his arm for him to be able to walk to us. Philip is too focused on preparing himself to even notice "have to say hi to her little brother, the main reason this party is happening. Right?"

Joyce hates that my mom has the upper move, the annoyance in her eyes can be seen for miles. "Right. But later—"

"Later Lilith and Lucifer will have something to eat," mom cuts her off "then a couple of drinks. Or whatever they please, mother." Turning to give me a look and wrap her arm with mine, my mom sends a side cheeky smile my way. What's she thinking? "Maybe Lilith can give Lucifer a tour of the house, show him her old room."

Wait a second— my mom'a not thinking what I think she's thinking... right?

"Lilith, you need to meet me afterwards." Joyce ignores the comment.

"She doesn't need to do anything, mom." Saved, once again.

I nod. "I'm on mom's side on this one."

Rolling her eyes to then help Philip with his tie, Joyce's mouth lets out nothing but a long sigh. "When are you not?"

"Joyce," Philip gains everyone's attention while his eyes are located behind his wife "Mr. Lawrence just finished his drink. It won't hold his attention much longer."

"Lilith, later I want you—"

"Lilith," for the second time, my mom stops her "later I want you to have fun. Enjoy the party, bye mom."

Defeated, another sigh comes out of Joyce. Doing a quick look to Lucifer who has been quiet this entire time, she rolls her eyes and as soon as a waiter walks by with a couple of drinks, she immediately grabs one to to place it in front of grandad's chest. "Give your guest a drink, Philip, Mr. Donovan looks thirsty." There wasn't not even a hint in those words of being a genuine concern for Lucifer's thirst. Finally, turning around, Joyce leaves everyone behind.

Like the most innocent man ever, Philip does turn to look at Lucifer with concern in his eyes once the drink is on his hand. "Are you?"

Lucifer nods, feeling the tension between everyone inside of him. "A little."

Letting go of the glass once Lucifer grabs it, Philip's mouth forms the biggest smile ever. "My wife has a good eye!"

"Philip?!" Joyce's loud whisper doesn't pass unnoticed by anyone around us.

"And a scary voice. Better get to it, don't want to make the man wait." Philip straightens his back as he lifts his chin, proudly. "How do I look?"

"Great, dad. Good luck."

Giving his daughter a nod and a cheeky wink, Philip turns around ready to meet the strange important man. "Coming, honey!"

Letting out the longest breath, I close my eyes being able to relax without the storming eyes of my grandparents. Or better said, Joyce.

Am I ever gonna have a nice time with her?

Doubt it.

"Thanks, mom." I say as soon as my mom wraps her arm around mine and Lucifer's, walking us both away.

"Nothing like having to save you from my mother, the fresh air of her annoyed breath coming my way. I can't get tired of it." I let out a chuckle, followed by Lucifer, who's now starting to see the big deal about my fucked up family. "C'mon, let's get you and Mr. Thirsty a better drink."

Lucifer nods. "I'm gonna need it." Replying before I can tell my mom how much of a great idea it is, my attention goes to him.

"Oh, why? You're not happy that you came here now?" I can't help but let out sarcastically, gaining a roll of the eyes from Lucifer.

Before a word could come out of his mouth, my mom reaches us both drinks after taking the glass away from Lucifer. "Here."

"What's in this?" Lucifer asks looking at the strange dark red liquid.

"It's alcohol, just drink it. Will make the night go faster."

I immediately take it to my mouth believing my mom's words. The sensation of it burning my throat comes quickly, almost as if fire actually is going down my body.

"Strong." Lucifer says probably having the same feeling as I do.

"The best kind!"

Not having trouble with my throat burning no longer, I can finally let out the question my mind'a been waiting to do so. "Who's that Harrison Lawrence anyway?"

"Ugh," my mom rolls her eyes "the important guy. Your grandmother hasn't stopped talking about him. He's from London, and apparently, he has the enough power to take dad's business there. Meaning, he's gonna gain more money—"

I shake my head, annoyed. "So he's automatically the most important guy in this party."

"Exactly."

"I knew this wasn't just Teddy's party."

"My mother and her thousands of reasons why she invited us to this dinner party, the last one being Teddy."

"Do you think she has another one than meeting that dude?"

"She always has."

Brushing my hair back since it annoys my face, the memory of Joyce fixing it comes back to my head. "She wanted me to do something, that's when she started to fix my hair—"

"She was definitely preparing you for something."

"Like what?" I ask, intrigued, hoping that my mom has the answer.

But she shakes her head. "I'll find out, first, you need to see your brother." Regaining our walk, Lucifer and I follow my mom towards Teddy, apparently, the room where the couches and the fireplace is. "Please, both of you, don't mention Harrison Lawrence to him. He's way too excited about the food and my mom making all of this something else will crush him."

"If she does, I'll crash her."

"Not if I get to her first."

"Where's he?"

"I left him with Jackson, they started fanboying over Marvel before I made my way to save you."

"Batman better than Iron Man?" Before I can even locate Teddy with my own eyes, the sound of his excited tone brings him closer to me. Turning my eyes to where it came from, I immediately see him with his formal adorable dark blue suit on, his tie that mom helped him out and his shiny shoes... probably worn by him twice. "No way!"

Arriving to Jackson's side, neither of them acknowledge our presence, too focused on their own conversation.

"That's what I told them! They both have the money but Iron Man is way more charismatic!"

"Who do you think wins in a fight? Thor or SuperMan?"

"That's a complicated one, for sure!"

The what that they're talking, lost in their own little world about super heroes and excitement, sends nothing but a strange tingle to the pit of my stomach. Familiar. When Teddy was at the hospital and Jackson was there... I was feeling the same way. "Do you think SuperMan could handle thunder? Like, thrown at him?"

I hate it.

"I think so, yeah! He's really fast, he has that advantage!"

"And he can fly!"

"But Thor—!"

"It's Thor!"

"The God of Thunder!" Saying that the both of them at the send time, causes for a group laugh, except me. I'm just trying to get my stomach to feel normal, forget about it. But I can't. The more they talk, the bigger it grows.

"I'm the only one who's confused?" Mom asks jokingly by my side as she gives me a quick look. I don't reply, Jackson giving her a sweet smile and a wink, my stomach gets even worst.

"Favorite Avengers movie?" Teddy gets Jackson's attention. "Count of three?"

"One, two, three— "Age of Ultron!" They high five each other.

And I hug myself, feeling the tension and uncomfortableness that surrounds me. Caressing my upper arm slowly with my free hand, I shoot a long breath out of my mouth to calm myself down.

"We need to see it together!" Teddy says with all the excitement in the world.

My heart suddenly speeds.

What is happening to me?

"Mom?! Can Jackson come to the next movie night?!"

"Sure, honey."

"Yeah!" Another high five. Noticing that they're not alone anymore, Teddy shines his eyes towards me as his head realises I'm there as well. "Oh, Lilith!" Without hesitating, Teddy walks towards me and welcomes me with a hug, tightly, like we're used to.

Finally, as my little bother wraps his arms around my body, I don't feel uncomfortable anymore. "Hi, poop head. I was starting to think I was invisible."

Teddy lets out a chuckle, unwrapping our bodies. "You know how I get when I talk about Marvel. Oh, wait—" his smile becomes even bigger "Lilith, you need to come too! You love Age of Ultron!"

I slowly nod, not sure how to feel about that. "Yeah—" Jackson and everyone together for a movie night? That's our thing.

"Definitely," Jackson finally talks "we can have cereal if you want to. Your mom already told me how much you like it."

Not believing it, my eyes slowly turn to my mom, who has a little happy smile on her lips. I lift an eyebrow. "You did?"

She nods, as if the answer is obvious. "Of course! If we do a movie night there has to be cereal for you."

My heart speeds once again, allowing for the tingle to come back inside my stomach as if an iceberg broke and the snow suddenly coming down is every word that comes my way right now. "We?" I can't help but ask, confused.

"The four of us!"

Us... and Jackson? Why does he have to be there? He's gonna be gone soon, like every guy that has dated my mom. They get scared, they get disappointed a woman like my mom has children, they regret it. No one has even been happy to see us standing on the other side of the door as my mom walks in... what could possible make Jackson different?

He isn't.

"Oh, hi." Teddy's confused words and eyes staring at a smiling Lucifer get my whole attention.

"Teddy," My mom speaks before Lucifer can "this is Lucifer Donovan, Lilith's friend." Touching his shoulder, she brings him closer for him to shake Teddy's hand, who now has a cheekily smile on his lips.

"Oooooooooooooh, yeah, friend. Lucifer."

Is Teddy on something? And why is my mom looking at me with a cheeky smile too?

"Nice to meet you, Teddy."

"Nice to meet you too."

"Thor would definitely win." Lucifer's words get my off guard. And how Teddy jut smiles, excited, make that strange and annoying tingle to fly back inside of me.

"You think so?!"'

"Yeah, he's the God of Thunder."

Teddy and Jackson laugh at the same time. "God of Thunder!"

"You like Marvel?"

Lucifer nods. "I have a little sister, she's obsessed. She slowly dragged me down with her."

Probably Vienna.

"Then everyone can come to the movie night!" My heart jumps down to my stomach. What did Teddy say?

Lucifer joining too? That can't be right.

No.

I haven't noticed, but the drink in my hand is almost empty. Drinking the uncomfortableness away, apparently.

"Captain America, the first, second, or third movie?" Teddy asks again, interrogating Lucifer. "And yes, there's a wrong answer."

"The second one, of course."

I have to take the alcohol to my mouth to feel the fire run through my skin, brushing the annoying feeling inside of me.

"Most underrated hero?"

"Hawkeye."

I bite my lower lip as my heart rushes.

"Coolest super power?"

"Hard one, but Loki."

My mouth brings a long breath inside of me, getting to the point of my lungs filling up until they can't anymore. I bite my lower again to get the dead skin off, pushing the tension away. Why am I reacting like this?

"Scarlet Witch or Captain Marvel?"

For the first time in a long time, Lucifer gives me a look as a little grin escapes his lips. "Black Widow."

I have to look away... that's what I would've said. Trying to get my attention somewhere else, my eyes lead their way towards the bartender making a drink. How his hands move, quickly and professionally, make my breathing slowly fade away as the relaxation takes over my body. It's working. The sound of the ice being shaken pushes the conversation going by my side away... "I like him, Lilith, you can date him." Until Teddy speaks again, innocently.

I brusquely turn around to face him, making everything that I fought away to go back inside of me. "What?!"

"Isn't that why you're here," Teddy turns to Lucifer, who now I've noticed has his eyes slightly wide, shaking his head "you want to date Lilith?"

"I—" Lucifer has nothing to say.

It surprises me.

"Teddy," I get his attention "shut the fuck up or I'm gonna glue your lips together."

"This is my party, I'm sure that's illegal."

"I've done my fare share of illegal things—"

"Now," My mom cuts me off "wait a minute—"

I'm digging myself a deep, deep whole.

And I won't be able to get out it I keep being here.

Rolling my eyes, my feet decide to turn around before my brain can even think about it. "I need another drink."

"Oh, Lilith!" Jackson stops me.

Great.

Turning around, my ears also hear the faded conversation Lucifer and Teddy started having.

My heart isn't gonna give me a break.

"What?" I let out, more annoyed that I intended to.

"I saw a crime documentary the other day and I— I thought you might like it." He's nervous, I can tell by the way he doesn't keep the eye contact with me for more than a couple of seconds.

"Ok?" I ask, trying to see what's he getting at.

"I completely forgot the name, but I'll send it to your mom so she can send it to you."

Oh?

"Or maybe, Lilith," My mom joins the conversation "you can give him your number—"

"Why?" I cut her off. "I'm gonna have to delete it in a month."

Now, my mouth is talking by itself.

That's not good.

We need to keep walking away.

"Lilith." My mom speaks

Confused, I turn to her. "What?"

Not giving me an answer, she moves her face towards Jackson, giving him a sweet smile in the process. "I'll send it to you." He finally says and before turning around to leave us behind, Jackson doesn't hesitate on sending a little smile my way.

No smile will make me trust him.

"Sounds good to me." I uninterested shrug my shoulders. "If you two excuse me, I'm gonna have another drink."

Finally, my feet turn around to put the mission of finding alcohol in motion.

"You could've been nicer." I hear my mom say to me as her shoes follow mine.

"Why? He's gonna be gone soon."

"No, he's not."

A fake chuckle escapes my mouth. "You always say that—"

"Why are you being so mean right now?"

I don't know.

"Maybe there's no enough alcohol inside of me."

"Can you stop walking, please?" She reaches my arm and gently grabs it, pulling me around once my feet stop their way to the bar.

"I need to find a drink."

I try to keep up with my walk once again, "Lilith!" But my mom stops me.

"What, mom?!"

"What's up with you?" I have no clue. "Is it because Lucifer's here?" My mom's question gets me off guard. Why would she think that? "Did something happen?" She asks, noticing my silence and that no right words will soon come out of my mouth.

"No—" I quickly shake my head as I firmly say "and nothing's gonna happen."

"Why not? You and him—"

"Me and him what, mom? He's an annoying bitch that has nothing better to do, so he comes here to make me angry. Good for him, he's done it." I finally take a breath in, my chest started to hurt from my angry and frustrated words.

"Baby," My mom calms her tone "the house is bringing nothing but stress in you. Why don't we go outside and take some fresh air?"

I shake my head, taking my eyes away from her. My stomach makes that strange tingle once again. Only alcohol is gonna fix this. "No."

"Baby." Getting closer, my mom touches the side of my cheek softly, as if with her touch she wants to cure whatever is going inside of me. "You got nervous when Lucifer started talking to Teddy," she gives me those words as if te conclusion had already been figured out in her head "having a good conversation—"

"I didn't get nervous." I cut her off.

"Then what is it? Why is it that when Lucifer and your little brother had a tiny connection... you freaked out?" She lets it out as a question, but I know, she already knows the answer.

I don't know what to think anymore. I have no clue what's going, maybe my mom's right and this house has like a spell on it where the moment I step inside of it, every feeling inside of me becomes a complete mess.

She waits for my response, but no words are gonna come out of my mouth, I'm sure of it. Non could describe what it's going on, my head doesn't understand it, no matter how much I feel it in every part of my body...

"Lilith! There you are." Joyce's tone takes me away from my own thoughts. Without giving an importante about mom grabbing my cheek gently, Joyce wraps her arm with mine, dragging me away from where I stand.

"Mom, we're talking here." I hear my mom's voice behind me, frustrated and more angrier than when she saved me earlier.

"Someone wants to meet you." Joyce completely ignores her daughter without stopping our walk towards the bar.

"What?" I ask, confused.

She smiles excited, like the most wonderful thing just happened to her. "Come with me."

"Mom—!"

Joyce is quickly taking me to the unknown person that wants to meet me, getting away from the possible save from my mom.

"Joyce," Philip appears with a huge smile on his face in front of us before I can even process where we're heading "Harrison said yes."

"What?" Joyce opens her eyes wide. "Did he?"

"He didn't let out the word yes, but there was definitely a it's gonna happen when we talked."

"Oh, that's so exciting!"

"I told you I needed to wear my blue tie, it's my lucky one!"

Philip and Joyce... where joy only comes with money opportunities.

Being taken away from us as someone behind him touches his shoulder turning him around, Philip starts a friendly conversation with the strange guest.

"So," gaining Joyce's attention on me as she's slowly dragging me more into the house, we pass the more guests I didn't think there were "this is the guy I'm gonna meet?"

For my surprise, Joyce shakes her head. "No."

"No?"

"His name is Eric Lawrence." She pronounces his name as if gold could snow if said correctly.

"Another Lawrence? Is he like the most important guy in... Ireland or something?"

"This is his son."

"And why am I meeting him?"

A smile escapes her mouth. "He wants to."

"Why?"

"We don't ask why, Lilith. We just simply say yes for the sake of your grandfather's business."

"What if I don't want to meet him?" Spending my time hearing some old man's words is not the way I want to end this night... maybe wasted as the chofer drives me to the hotel.

Yeah, not a maybe, a definite yes.

"This is no time for your little jokes—" Joyce adds, annoyed, but still with the big smile on her face to keep the game about her happiness to the guests on.

"Do you see me laughing?" I shake my head. "I'm not joking."

Suddenly stopping, Joyce meets my eyes as if the words that just came out of my mouth were nothing but nonsense. "Don't be silly, this guy has more money than our entire family combined."

I lift an eyebrow. "And?"

"And? What do you mean and? This is your chance."

"My chance to do what?"

"Your mother has already lost hers, but you..."

"What are you talking about grandma?"

She doesn't respond, instead, for the second time, her hand rushes to the hairs in my head. "Lilith, fix your hair—"

"No!" I get tired of her not giving me a complete answer, so, grabbing her hand I push it away gaining a couple of eyes on me. "Stop!" I don't care, I yell anyway.

But it does look like Joyce cares. Widening her eyes at my loud tone, she kills me with them even though the smile doesn't disappear. "Don't yell!" She whispers loudly. "People might stare!"

"I don't care, what am I doing meeting this guy?"

"This guy is Eric Lawrence, the son of one of the most important men in London. You need to meet him."

"I don't need to do anything, you need me to meet him. Why, I still got no answer." She doesn't open her mouth. "You're always ashamed of what I wear, how I act, in what I study, in every choice I make, why do you want me to meet him?"

"Lilith, they're waiting for us." Still, not even a hint of her replying to me.

"I don't give a shit."

"Don't cuss, young lady."

"Then explain it to me."

Silence surrounds us. Her eyes stare at me and then to the people around, enjoying their conversations and drinks. She doesn't want to answer. She knows that if I know it, I won't do what she says and follow her. Carry with her plan. But either way, I won't move my feet if she doesn't give it to me. She won't win, no matter what.

"This is your chance to have a better future." She finally says, firmly as she lifts her chin up.

I keep my mouth shut processing what she means.

Future..? What does my future have to do with anything of this? Me meeting this Eric Lawrence? What could I possibly earn if I exchange a conversation with him? What could lead if he meets me...?

Oh.

Us. Together. Having a conversation and a good time, me looking good... for the son of a rich man.

Where does Joyce get the nerves?

I don't have a clue.

"Oh, Joyce." I shake my head. Even if my throat closes a bit after understanding the meaning behind this meeting, the anger boiling the blood in my veins doesn't trouble my words. "You want me to marry this guy." Joyce stays quiet, not knowing what to do after I've realised her little idea. "Now I get it, that's why you said mom has already lost her chance... the chance on marrying rich and be set for life. That's why you said I looked nice... you wanted to get on my good side so I would've listen to you."

Now everything comes together.

"I just want what's best for you." She says, like she's the most intelligent person in this room.

"And how do you what's best for me? You don't even know me. You don't even know your own daughter."

"I know Celia, what on Earth are you talking about?"

A fake chuckle leaves my mouth. Gaining even more anger inside of me, I get closer as the words rush through my tongue. "If you knew her, you'd know that she didn't lost any chance. She took every chance she got and succeeded. She has a job she adores and a happy life with Teddy and I, there's not a single drop of not being set for life in her eyes." My body doesn't know if it's more angry or upset... my mom has this lovely life and her mom doesn't even know it. All because she doesn't have the same life she has. "And those, those are the steps I'm gonna follow. Choose whatever I please, whatever makes me happy. And marrying this guy, it would take me to hate every single second of my life. Hate everything I see." I stare at her eyes, dry and dark, showing the annoyance yet disappointment going through her head. "Right now, I'm getting a visual of how it would be." I look her up and down, giving my words even more importance.

"I love your grandfather, how dare you?"

"I know." I slowly nod. "You two are perfect for each other. Loving money more that your own family. You choose this life before your own daughter." Taking a step back, my body can't wait to finally leave this conversation behind as my chest suddenly gets tight and my heart speeds "If you expected me to go and meet this guy with a smile on my face, you definitely got the wrong granddaughter."

Before I can even see the reaction or get an answer from Joyce, my feet turn around already knowing where they want to go.

I want to grab my heart and rip it out my chest. My breathing troubles the sound around me, getting the thick air inside of me as fast as it can, my eyes want to close and erase everything away. But I can't. I don't even know if I'm walking too fast, too slow, gaining eyes on me or not, if anyone is follow me. I don't care.

Everything that happened today has accumulated inside of me and it's finally out, enabling my body to react in a proper way.

I need get out of this fucking house.

Now.

...