"don't tell me you love me, 'cause i won't love back"
bazzi — "alone"
"Well, we always said we wanted a pool." Ada's voice sounds around the eco in our dorm. Followed by the wet sound of my feet stepping on the floor, I immediately regret coming inside, not only because my feet are now extremely wet, but also for what my eyes are seeing.
When Ada said our dorm is a pool, she wasn't kidding. The entire floor is soaked wet with water all over it. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine myself stepping inside a lake.
This is definitely a nightmare. This can't be happening. I re open my eyes and— oh, it's definitely happening when in front of me a pair of men grab a hammer to start breaking the soaked wall and my desire to be around a lake has jumped to its death.
Apparently, the pipes decided to be in a terrible mood and let all the water inside of them slide into our dorm through the walls, making it all a mess and for us to not be able to even step in a part of the floor without feeling the disgusting water soak our feet. Great, isn't it?
"The repairs are gonna be done in a couple of weeks, girls." One is the man says as he approaches us, still in shook of our dorm turned into a pool for little kids.
"A couple?" I ask, letting it take over my body. "How much is a couple? Two? Three? Four that will eventually turn into a month? How much?!"
"Lil," Ada grabs my arm, gently pulling me away from the man now confused "it's not the man's fault."
"Who says?" She still drags me outside. "Who can prove that this man didn't sneak into our dorm just to break the pipes and get a job, huh? What's your alibi, mister?"
"She's a criminal justice major, excuse her."
The man disappearing from my sight and being replaced by only Ada, a long sigh escapes both of us frustrated with the situation. "Ada, what are we gonna do?"
"I have no clue."
"Our dorm is a pool! We can't sleep in here!"
"Should we get blow up beds?"
"There's not a single pool house in miles, the only blow up thing that you'll find is gonna be a woman instead of a swan."
"Let's look at the positive," Ada squeezes my arm "our clothes are fine and the shoes are probably gonna be dry tomorrow, the latest. No big damages to our things. Everything was either on our beds or the couch."
Having a clean and organised roommate has its perks, finally.
"Yeah, I guess that's alright."
"Better than alright, I would definitely be screaming right now."
"Girls!" The voice of Ryker getting closer to us makes us both move our attention from each other to my best friend's boyfriend. "I came as soon as I could. How's it looking?"
"Our dorm decided to have a self care night and is taking a bath." I reply, trying to not freak out.
"No..." Ryker slowly shakes his head in disbelief. Wanting to answer his own head, he walks towards the door and peeks his head through to give it a look. Quickly turning around, in his eyes I can tell he's trying his hardest to not make it worse for the two of us. "It's — something."
And and I both nod. "Definitely."
"Is there something I can do? Did you talk to administration? There's something they can do."
"Yes," Ada nods while looking at me "and just for our luck, guess which one is the only room available."
I stay quiet trying to remember every room from this place that I've seen and that could possible be free at this time of the semester. My mind can't help but think of one and it's the absolutely worst option that could come to my head... but it can't be that one. We can't be that unlucky.
"Oh, no—" I slowly shake my head, hoping Ada doesn't say what I think she's gonna say.
"Yep."
No, no, no, no.
"The haunted one."
Fuck.
"No way!" I brusquely deny with my head. "We're not moving in there, not even if it is only for a couple of weeks."
"Agree."
"Oh, guys, it can't be that bad."
I turn to Ryker. "That bad? There's a thousand of students that have proof of ghosts in that dorm. It's been happening for generations."
"We know one girl that didn't believe it and moved in anyway."
Ada and I knew her, she was this stubborn girl that didn't know better and decided to take the dorm ignoring what thousands of people tried to tell her about the place. Don't get me wrong, I'm stubborn as hell, but I don't fuck with haunted places. That's why I say I could never be in a movie where the characters are haunted by ghosts, because the second something like that happens, I'm out of there. There's no movie to watch with me.
"One night she came out screaming because she saw a shadow of a tall man in front of her." Ada says followed by a nod from me, remembering that night like it was yesterday. I thought someone was getting murdered.
"The next week all of her clothes were messily laying on the floor when she didn't even remembered leaving her closet door opened." I add, starting to creep out Ryker.
"She kept hearing voices in the middle of the night and the next morning when she tried to complain she found out that her neighbours went home for the holidays. The entire floor was empty."
"Lights mysteriously turning on and off."
"Glasses strangely falling."
"Her blanket was pulled off while she was sleeping."
"Windows being shaken even if there's no wind—"
"Yeah," Ryker stops us "you guys aren't moving there."
"Agreed."
I rather sleep on the floor than with ghosts, no offence to the good ones. They're cool. But to the bad ones? Please don't possess me, I already look like the girl from the exorcism every morning.
"Did someone call for the most handsome boys ever?!" A new voice sounds inside the building. Followed by the door opening, my eyes look to where it came from to find Griffin and Colin quickly walking towards us. Confused on why they're here, my eyes don't hide it.
"Griffin?" I ask both of them when they arrive by our side with heavy breathing, clearly on a hurry to get here. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Our girls are in trouble and you expect us to not show up?" Colin places his hand on his chest, pretending to be in pain. "You hurt me."
"Sorry, I'm a bit confused." I add. "I didn't know you guys had the magic ball and could find out about things without anyone telling you."
"Yeah, we do," Griffin nods "and that ball it's called Lucifer."
Excuse you?
Lucifer?
As in, Lucifer Donovan? The guy that just had a fight with me even if I have no clue what we were fighting about? How the hell did he find out?
"What?"
"I was with him when Ada called me." Ryker answers my confusion.
"And when he got home he told us so we could come here and make sure everything's alright." Colin's words make me wonder why does he care that the guys come here, why does he care to make sure everything's alright to begin with.
He said that he couldn't handle me, everything, whatever that could be. He shouldn't be caring about this if that's the case. Asshole. Is he confusing or what?
"And where is him?" My mouth asks before my brain can prevent it.
"He said that he couldn't come but he wouldn't tell us the reason."
"Mean bitch." Griffin appears on Colin's side again, making me realise he left a second ago to check on the dorm. "We tell each other everything! And by the way, you guys have a pool there."
"Thank you, Griffin, you make me feel so much better." Gaining a smile from him because of my sarcasm, two more guys walking inside our dorm gains our attention.
Four guys now working on those pipes? It's definitely gonna be longer than a couple of weeks.
Now being possessed doesn't sound so fucking bad.
"What happened?"
"A pipe broke." I answer Colin.
"Do you guys have anywhere to sleep?"
"It's either a haunted dorm that will probably possess us or Ada and I going to my house with my family because hers is a plane away."
"That doesn't sound so bad."
"If we take away the fact that we're gonna have to wake up every day at four am just to get to class, no, it's not that bad!"
I want to cry right now. Please, I'm being serious, possess me.
"You girls can come live with me, Paul and Bobby." Ryker suggest, like the best boyfriend he can be to Ada.
"Don't you think it's gonna be too crowded? We don't want to disturb the boys, baby."
Ada's right. Maybe it would be alright if Ada moved there, but not me, I'm the third wheel that would crash on the coach and welcome the girls and boys that Paul and Bobby bring home, feeling like that uncle who never moves out of his brother's house and that the wife hates because he's always on the couch watching TV while drinking beer with his belly out. The part that I wouldn't hate relating to is being the bad influence to the kids, that's always fun to be.
"We have an idea." Colin and Griffin both say at the same time bringing my attention towards them. The little grins on their faces doesn't help me on decide if I should be excited or terrified of this idea.
"What is it?" Ada asks before I can, also intrigued.
They don't give us a reply, instead, turning around without making the smiles disappear from their faces, Colin and Griffin both start walking down the hallway as excited as they can can get.
That doesn't help me either, but, it does make me turn to the terrified side more.
"Meet us at our apartment this afternoon!"
"What's the idea?!" I yell to get an answer. Neither of them acknowledge it, they just keep walking with determined steps out of the building.
"Bye, beautiful!" Colin yells before disappearing from my sight.
All I can do right now is hope that Colin and Griffin do have a good idea, otherwise is going back to my house and wake up at 4 am every morning. Or, throwing a party in the haunted dorm to then turn it into a ghost haunt experience.
Wait— that could be fun.
>>>
"Guys!" Ada's voice sounds frustrated by my side while the entire group sits on the couch from Lucifer's, Colin's and Griffin's apartment. "I appreciate this little show you're gonna give us but it's been 10 minutes and I really have to get to class!"
"Live a little, Ada." I add as I gently push Ada's arm with my elbow, trying to calm down my best friend "Miss it."
My eyes lead to the hallway where the sound of Colin and Griffin moving some stuff can be heard.
"Yes! Live a little, Ada!" Colin yells, excited to show us whatever the hell they're doing on the other side of the wall.
"So, do I need to get my one dollar bills ready or...?" I tease them soon followed by a gasp coming from one of the boys.
"You're gonna throw me a dollar?" Colin asks, offended. "That's insulting!"
"Fine! If you let me put it on your underwear I'll give you two dollars!"
"What if I throw a lap dance into the mix?"
"If you do it while singing Britney Spears I'll throw four!" A low chuckle comes from Paul.
"I knew my playlist full of Britney was gonna come in handy at some point!"
"What are you talking about?" Griffin joins the conversation, still hiding. "You always play it while you shower and you sing it, full volume. Right, Lucifer?!"
Silence.
Leading my eyes to the quiet Lucifer Donovan sitting on the opposite side of the couch with Paul and Bobby by his side, I can help but notice his annoyed eyes looking at the floor with no intention to say anything to Griffin. His arms are across his chest while he lazily lays on the couch. Nothing but our last fight comes back into my head like a movie scene playing on and on. His words and his tired voice yelling at me like I've done something to hurt him.
You, this, everything!
I can't put a single conclusion together on what did he mean by saying that. His pleading stop when I was trying to get an explanation and his frustrated eyes, hurting from holding something inside of him and preventing himself for the rest of the conversation to not answer my words. If I could get somehow the magic ball to know what's going on inside his head, I would. But at the same time, I can't help but ask myself, do I want to know the answer?
"Is he dead?" Griffin's question brings my attention back to him.
"Looks like it." Bobby says before Lucifer can even let a word out, probably noticing how his friend doesn't have the energy to talk right now.
"I'm glad! I took the last bag of coffee this morning and I didn't know how to tell him. Guess I don't have to worry anymore." It's obvious that Griffin is trying to get a reaction from his friend, trying to get at least a single word out, but once again, nothing comes out of his mouth. Not even a long breath. "Is he actually dead?"
"Yes," Ryker now adds by Ada's side, who's still trying to not freak out over the fact that she may get late to her class. "Lilith killed him."
"I'm patiently waiting for you guys to do your stripper show and I declare that as my alibi."
I don't break my sight on Lucifer, still with his eyes locked on the floor like he's lost in something. His mind is anywhere but here, waiting for Colin and Griffin. Not even my words did cause for him to give me a quick look, not a single breath out, or just a hint of him getting annoyed at my voice or anything around him.
What has him like this?
"I'm definitely gonna miss my class, aren't I?" Ada asks by my side.
There's no point on lying to her, and being the bad influence is definitely my job, so, I say: "Yep. You'll definitely miss it."
"Do you guys know what their great idea is?" Asking to Bobby and Paul, they both nod. "What is it?"
"Bobby and Paul if you dare ruin it I'll make sure you two don't see the light of the day again." Griffin speaks with his firm voice threatening the boys.
Paul slowly turns to Ada, slowly nodding. "I like the sunrise."
"We know what the idea is but we have no clue what are they doing in the hallway." Bobby replies, choosing his words very carefully.
"Alright," Colin prevents Ada from getting the boys killed by asking more questions "we're ready!"
"Finally!"
"I'm glad to hear Ada so excited to see us." Colin appears followed by Griffin, with a big note pad between his hands.
Colin, with his eyes glued on Ada and a cocky smile on his lips, walks closer ready to do what I know, the entire group knows, what he's about to say. "Wanna go on a date?"
Seconds later, Colin's face is hit by a pillow thrown by Ryker. "Start!"
"What an enthusiastic crowd!"
"Let us present you," Griffin starts once Colin joins his side "our great idea!"
My eyes immediately pay attention to the little drawing on the pad. Eight stick people are on the paper while red lines jump out of them towards each other. They don't have a single thing in common other than their smiles on their faces, bigger than the their own circle heads. Expect one, the last one on the right, their face is covered in black dots but they're all mixed together, making it look like a tornado is going on the face.
Is this what Colin and Griffin been doing for ten minutes?
"The hell is that?" Bobby asks as confused as everyone on the couch. "Is that a dick?"
"What?" Griffin brusquely turns to the paper. Looking for the dick that Bobby is talking about, the one in the middle does look like it has a shaft instead of a head. "That's Lilith."
What?!
"Do I look like a dick to you?"
"Those are your curls." Colin points at the shaft.
"Do my curls look like a dick to you?!"
I hear a chuckle coming from Paul once again. "You're way prettier than a dick." He says, nodding while he's trying to hold his laughter.
"Thank you, Paul. I appreciate that."
"That's Lilith and that's Ada." Going back to Griffin trying to explain the drawing, his index finger points at the two stick people in the middle. Next to dick me, you can tell it's Ada, her giant curls and big eyes are what gives it away.
"Thank you for adding the volume my hair has." Ada nods proudly.
"You're welcome."
"And thank you for making me look like a dick."
"I love dick," Griffin adds "it's definitely a compliment, dear."
Paul laughs again.
"Who's those people next to then?" Bobby is still trying to figure out the drawing.
"That's us!"
"Lucifer, Colin, me," Griffin points at the people on the left "and then, Ryker, Bobby and Paul." And then the ones on the right.
"We tried to make Paul's lovely freckles but we didn't like them, so, trying to erase it with our fingers because we don't have an eraser your face ended up looking like that."
The tornado going on Paul's face are his freckles, got it.
"I appreciate the thought."
"And what are we doing? Carrying Lilith and Ada with leashes or something?"
"Those are arrows," Griffin points at the red lines "Lilith with Colin, Lucifer and I. And then Ada with Paul, Bobby and Ryker."
"Meaning?"
"You're not suggesting an orgy, are you?" My question gains the laugh of everyone, expect Colin. Oh, boy.
What's coming now?
"What? Are you down for the idea?"
Both Ada and I throw pillows at him. "Move along!"
"Wait! This..." Griffin, more excited than anyone in the room, draws like a little kid two houses around the eight people. Call me stupid, but, what the hell are they on about? "is the great idea!"
I point at the drawing. "You guys build two houses and then start carrying us around with leashes."
"No, dumbass!" The same pillow now hits my face. "You move in with us!"
"What?"
"Ada with Ryker, Paul and Bobby, and then Lilith with Lucifer, Griffin and I!"
Are they serious?
"I— I don't know." Ada looks at me hesitant on the idea. We both know we appreciate it, more than they would know, but not be roommates the two of us? We spent the last four years together, and I couldn't imagine myself living with someone else than her.
My eyes, without my brain thinking about it before, give Lucifer a quick look to see his reaction. It's no so different from what he was doing earlier, with his arms across his chest and his back laid on the couch. This time he is staring at the drawing though, even if his mind looks like is still someplace else.
"How is that gonna work?"
"All of our apartments have an extra room and it works out perfectly!"
"We all discuss it and it's no problem to share our space with you guys." Bobby reassures the idea.
"Are you guys serious?" I ask for the first time since they idea has been brought up to us. Realising that I'm still locked on Lucifer, I force myself to look at Colin who's brusquely head nodding gets my attention.
"Yes!"
"We're moving in while paying rent?" Ada asks, still not convinced just like I am.
"No way! You guys keeping us company is enough."
"This is too much, guys, I don't know—"
"Ada, c'mon," Bobby gains our attention "don't tell me you don't want to hear Paul sing Justin Bieber every morning while he takes a shower."
He's quickly slapped in the arm by Paul. "Hey!"
Neither of us say anything. I don't know if Ada is thinking the same I am, hesitant on doing this because it would be too much of a change. It's true that we don't have any other options, or we do, but this one seems to have the best outcome.
Just like before, my eyes lead to Lucifer on the opposite side of the couch. This time, I do find his eyes on something. Someone, to be exact. Me. My heart jumps a beat when we lock eyes with each other even if it doesn't last long, he looks away almost immediately and leads his eyes to the note pad still between his two best friends, way too excited about the idea.
He doesn't fucking look excited like his friends are. Lucifer hasn't said anything since we walked inside this apartment and less when the idea came out of Griffin's mouth. He's involve in this as much as his friends are, is his apartment too, not even a complaint or a annoyed sigh, just his mouth shut and arms across his chest like he doesn't want to be here. I'm not saying he should be excited like Colin and Griffin are and do some elaborate drawing to explain it, jump up and down like a little kid, but at least a hint of not thinking that this is the worst idea ever.
"What do you say?" Ada's voice brings my attention towards her. The little side smile on her face doesn't tell me much but that she's up to the idea if I am, like the two pair of best friends that go everywhere together to the point of making people believe they're dating.
My head can't forget about Lucifer and wonder what's he thinking right now. There's no way on earth I'm moving forward with this plan if he's not up to it, dealing with an annoyed Lucifer like today everyday isn't on my plan when I imagined what my last semester of college was gonna be like.
"Does everyone agree with us moving in?" I ask, hoping to at least get a simple nod from Lucifer. My eyes stare at him as hard as they can, wanting for him to notice that I'm doing it and lead his eyes towards me.
"We all discussed it," Ryker says "don't worry. Not even one of us hesitated."
I don't look away from Lucifer and I know he noticed my eyes on him. His foot slight moves up and down from the floor with a fast speed and his fingertips start to play around with each other. Not being able to hold his eyes on his friends anymore, they lead to the window next to the couch hoping to find something to stare at and lose the attention I'm giving him.
"Lucifer doesn't look too happy about it." My mouth says it without my brain acknowledging it first.
Finally, just giving me a quick look, our eyes locked. "I have nothing to say."
I let a fake chuckle out. "That's new."
"C'mon, be more excited, dude!" Griffin pushes Lucifer's foot with his "It's for the girls!"
"If he's not in on the decision, I'm not doing it." I shake my head, determined on my decision.
"Lucifer— do I need to be the mom that forces her children to talk to their aunt and be excited about it?" Griffin pushes his foot again.
We don't break the eye contact with each other now. Clenching his jawline, an annoyed Lucifer lets out a long breath out as his shoulders slightly shrug. "You guys do whatever you want, I don't care."
He gets up from the couch, leaving our sight by walking inside the hallway. I do the same, but instead of the hallway, I make my way towards the front door.
"I appreciate you guys doing this, but I'm not moving in with him."
"Lilith, wait!" Ada follows me. "Where are you gonna go?"
"Back home."
"C'mon," grabbing my arm and turning me around, she prevents me from leaving the apartment "you're never gonna survive if you go back. Move in with the guys."
"Not with Lucifer."
"You have no other choice."
"Yes, home."
"It's only for a couple of weeks, Lil, c'mon. I don't want you that far." Her sweet voice calms the anger inside of me. I don't know how she does to, but she does. And it's not even that hard for Ada.
"It's gonna be fun," Griffin speaks "we promise."
"I'll do the lap dance every night if you stay, for free!"
I can't help but let out a laugh at them. It's nice to feel that these people are ready to do this for us even if we haven't known each other for a long time. I feel like an idiot if I say no, what could be worse than dealing with Lucifer every day? Getting possessed?
Yeah, that's not worse.
"Fine, I'll move in."
My words are immediately followed by the excited claps from everyone and a tight hug from Ada.
"Fuck yeah!"
"I'm gonna make dinner tonight to celebrate!" Paul appears by my side and shakes my arm, but my eyes soon go to Colin who hands the fire extinguisher to Bobby.
"Welcome to the family!" Griffin replaces Ada from the hug, his is tighter and enables me to breathe for a second. "Yes, get used to this hugs because I'm a huger." He adds like he's reading my mind.
Oh, boy.
"You guys are way too nice." Ada's words lead to the five of them to high five each other proudly.
"We know, we're the best."
Even if I want to join to the tiny celebrating the group has decided to have between all of them, consisted on Griffin making up a tiny dance, my head can't help but bring the annoyed Lucifer back.
Him saying that he doesn't care but an hour earlier he wanted Colin and Griffin to visit us to make sure everything was alright. What's wrong with him that he can't make up his mind? Does he care or no? He's starting to confuse me in the strangest way possible, not even math class confuses me this deeply.
My eyes stare at the way he left us as my feet want to take me to where he's hiding. The intrigue on what the hell is happening to him rushes in my veins, almost to the point on controlling my body and suddenly leaving the group like he did.
"Can I use your bathroom?" I ask first to Colin and Griffin to not look like the crazy lady just walks inside your house with the trust that no one knows where she got it from.
And, well, to also not make it look like I'm going after Lucifer even if that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
"It's yours too now, baby!" Colin brusquely gabbing me and kissing my cheek prevents from slapping him away.
I better get the hell out of here because between Colin and Griffin, my bar of affection will soon be over and to the next person that touches me will get slapped.
"Ignore the underwear hanging from the shower curtain, I forgot to grab it." Griffin yells behind my back as soon as I head my way towards the hallway.
"You forgot?! She's gonna get traumatised now!"
"It's my minions underwear, it's fine!"
"That's the worst one, Griffin!"
I can't hear the rest of the conversation, even if I would want to ask why does Griffin have a minion underwear, my feet automatically take my body towards Lucifer's room. The door's open so it doesn't take me much work to see the inside of it and finding a wide back as he sits down on the chair in front of his desk. A pencil is hanging between his fingers, playing around with it like he's waiting for creativity to strike his mind.
"Hiding like an annoyed cat, Lucifer?" I lay on the door frame waiting for his eyes on me and an answer from his mouth.
Lucifer doesn't turn around, instead, letting out a long sigh the tip of the pencil is pressed strongly against the paper. "I'm not annoyed, I told you to do whatever you want because—"
"You don't care, I heard you."
"Then why are you here?" His tone isn't annoyed or angry, it goes towards the soft side where he's frustrated and tired of something. This conversation, probably.
"It was either this or watching Griffin do more of his celebration dance." I reply.
"I've seen it and it's not that bad, you should go back to it." He suggests.
He's not teasing me, annoyed at me, not even throwing insults or angry words at me that would make me think he's the normal Lucifer that loves to do that. I'm starting to believe something bigger than a tiny thing annoying him or frustrating him is happening.
"What's with you? I told you that if you don't want me to move in I won't—"
"You need a place to stay and we have a spare room." Getting up from the chair after throwing the pencil on the desk, Lucifer locks eyes with me as his shoulders simply shrug, uninterested on this conversation. "I won't be the reason you sleep under the rain these couple of weeks."
"See, the normal Lucifer would definitely be the reason. He wouldn't mind."
He sits on the bed looking up at me. "I guess I'm not feeling like the normal Lucifer right now." Just like before, his tone is calm and soft, giving the impression of his tiredness that is going through his body. Call me annoying, yes, but I want to know what's happening to him and why is he acting this way towards me when this is not normal for him.
"And what Lucifer are you?" I ask, but this time I don't get an answer right away, just his silence and his eyes looking down to the floor maybe avoiding my question or looking for something to say inside his mind. "The one that's quiet, got it."
"I don't feel like talking right now."
"And what do you feel like doing?Screaming at me? Fighting? Telling me I'm annoying, stubborn and a bitch?" I try to joke and get at least a smile from him.
I don't. Instead, when his eyes look up from the floor they go directly to my lips. "No."
"Then what?"
Silence again, just his eyes locked on my lips making my heart speed as my body goes nervous not being able to think on what to do next. No words come to me waiting impatiently for a word or even a move from his part, and feeding my intrigue, Lucifer finally leaves the bed he's in and walks closer to me without a doubt in his steps.
"What are you doing?"
"Just shut up, Avery."
Grabbing my cheek with his left hand, he unites our lips together in a quick yet soft motion. I don't step away or even try to break the kiss, I let it rule over my body and lose myself the more our lips touch each other. I don't put a rhythm to the kiss and neither does he, Lucifer holds my face in place like he's trying to see something in the kiss and the way our lips easily connect with each other. I let him take over waiting for his next move, but for my surprise, instead of continuing with it, he breaks it to rest his forehead on mine while our breaths mix with each other in front of our faces.
"Say that you hate me, Avery." He whispers brushing our noses.
"What?" My mouth asks as my brain is trying to process what he's trying to do.
"Say it, please." He pleads.
"I hate you." I don't question it, I don't even put a thought on my body not feeling the words he's asking me to say. Maybe it's automatic, the feeling of hatred towards each other is so strong that I don't have to feel it inside my chest to be able to say it. Right?
"You swear it?"
"Yeah, I hate you. And you hate me, that's us."
I don't get another word from Lucifer, just his silence while our noses brush against each other. Maybe he's going to kiss me again, a part of me wants it but the other part just wants more answers purely confused on what he's waiting to accomplish with this.
I wait and I wait even if it feels like nothing is about to come. A long breath coming from Lucifer can be felt in my skin the moment his hand slowly lets go of my cheek, and finally, how his nose is no longer against mine making his forehead be the only part of him that's touching me.
"Fuck." He walks away from my body. Hearing him head towards his bed, I open my eyes to find his back facing me.
"What?" I ask, confused as before.
"Nothing."
"Nothing? I—" I shut my mouth. Is he actually serious? He's gonna just move along like he just did the most normal thing in the world? "What was that?"
"Lilith!" The yell of Griffin sounds before Lucifer can say anything back to me. "We want to go celebrate! C'mon!"
"Lucifer—" I don't reply to Griffin, instead, my body takes a step close to Lucifer who is now turning to face me with a little painful smile on his lips.
"You should go, it's gonna be fun Avery."
Breaking our eye contact, Lucifer lays on the bed after taking his phone out of his back pocket to pay attention to it instead of me. I don't argue with him, I don't even make my brain think of something to say, I just stay there defeated and confused on what's going on with him. If I stay here any longer, the stupid feeling that's starting to grow inside my chest will become stronger than the frustration rushing through my veins, so, without saying a word I leave his room behind to walk inside the living room.
If he doesn't want to talk about it, fine, I'm not his fucking therapist. Besides, I have a celebration to attend to, and after this, I definitely need alcohol inside my system.
>>>
"Shots, shots, shots!"
I immediately take the shot of vodka to my lips and let the liquid get inside my mouth. The burning sensation doesn't wait to rush to my throat and skin, heating my stomach as soon as it goes down my body. I said it a million of times and I'll say it again, the firsts shots are always the fucking worst.
The music of the club sounds around us while the entire group forms a little circle. On my right side I have Ada, who has Ryker's arm around her shoulders. And on my left side, Bobby stands shaking his head brusquely trying to get over the shot.
"Fuck!"
"Covaliov is definitely going to kill us." Paul says the second he regains the control of his tongue after the shot went down his mouth.
Soon after, Colin lets both of his arms go around Paul and Bobby's shoulder after getting in between them. "Then we better get hammered if this is the last night we're ever gonna live!" He doesn't seem affected by the shot we all just took, maybe the fact that he has trained for years to hide his hangover or drunk self from Covaliov has turned hin into a professional shot taker.
"Shots, shots, shots, shots!" Griffin sings repeatedly as he pours more liquid into every shot glass the group is holding.
"To our new roommates!" Ryker lifts his shot into the air soon followed by everyone.
"And to you guys for being the fucking best!" Ada's words gain the excited yells of celebration before the silence surrounds us as we take the shots to our mouths.
The burning rushes back to my throat... and, oh, boy, a piece of lemon would do me good right now. Opening my eyes after getting used to the pain, my eyes first lead to the table by our side looking for something to get the remaining fire in my skin away, but it's soon interrupted by Colin walking pass me and heading towards a group of girls leaving our side.
"Hello, hello, hello ladies."
Griffin, rolling his eyes, prevents his friend by going after them and grabs his shoulder turning him around. "We just got here, you dirty whore."
"I know, I'm a very dirty whore, and proudly!"
"I have a class with them," Paul points at the girls innocently "they're very smart!"
"That's too bad," Bobby slaps Colin's shoulder "now you know she'll never go with you Colin!" He jokes gaining a little laugh from me. I would totally say that joke.
"Laugh all you want, but I won't make you forget you did kiss me once so that makes you stupid!"
I— what did he just say?!
"What?!" The surprise shakes out of me.
"Excuse me?!" Ada seems as surprised as I am, letting it show through her words.
"When did this happen!?"
"We were freshman and we both wanted to know what it was like to kiss another man!" Bobby tries to dismiss it. "It was nothing!"
The joke doesn't seem to be over for Colin, wanting to make it worse, he gasps as loud as he can and takes the palm of his hand towards his chest, pretending to be offended. "You bitch! It meant everything to me!"
"You took a girl home that night, asshole!"
"But I was thinking of you the whole time!"
Colin without hesitating walks over to him and leaves a wet kiss on his cheek, leading to Bobby pushing him off. "Ew!"
Even if I'm liking this little show Colin and Bobby are throwing, the moment a pair of cold hands touch my arm my attention goes towards it. Finding a tall man in front of me, with a cocky side smile and some perfectly brushed black hair, I can't help but think how handsome he is. He has the perfect smile, taking your eyes almost immediately when he does it. But his eyes are it. Killing blue that can be seen even if the light of the club isn't the best one. Or, there isn't any to begin with.
"Hi."
I stare strangely at this man that suddenly touched my arm without my permission. "Hello."
"I'm Steve."
And did I ask—?
Lilith, be nice.
Why?
"Nice to meet you Steve." I simple reply, ignoring my thoughts.
"I saw you while I was standing over there and I just had to say hi to you."
"You just had to?" I can't help my mock his phrase that I've heard multiple times over my last years of visiting the club.
Slowly nodding, Steve doesn't seem to be affected by my mockery. Worst, he understands how stupid it was of him to say and gives me a tilt of the head. "Yes."
"And what else you had to do while you were standing over there?" I smile at him giving the hint of how my ears can't wait to hear his next phrase.
There's no point mentioning that it was with sarcasm, right? Y'all know me.
"Tell you that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and ask for your name."
Oh, boy. What is it with this boys and their lack of creativity?
Ignoring it, I simply give him a tiny smile. "Lilith."
Immediately, like I'm used to people doing when my name comes out of my mouth, he lets out an even bigger cocky smile while I can see the rusty wheels turning inside his head while thinking of something flirty to say. "Lilith, you're not gonna turn into a snake and kill me, are you?"
I'm seriously debating it.
I don't know what is it what men today, but they're annoying more than usual.
"Depends. If you behave, I won't."
"Fine, I'll misbehave then."
I can't believe it, there's not hint that my body is showing of me wanting to be in this conversation and this Steve is here being the cocky motherfucker he is. Get away, Steve! My patience for men isn't on the highest level and it won't end good for the both of us!
"Want another shot?" I hear him ask.
Well, alright—
I never say no to a free drink.
I nod. "Always."
Maybe dealing with him a second more won't hurt me. Unless he gives me one more of his cocky cheap phrases, then I'll really turn into a snake and kill him. The original Lilith would definitely be proud of me.
"I'll be right back."
Before I can turn to Ada and express my annoyance with this man with her, like usual, a concerned Colin appears in front of me enabling me to start my search for my best friend.
"Dude, what are you doing?"
"Accepting a free drink." I reply like it's the most obvious thing in the world. And well, because it is. "What's with you?" Colin isn't afraid to show his concern on something, he stares at me like I just ratted on the whole class about cheating on a exam. "Colin?" Still, not a reply.
What's with men today?! Jesus!
I'm not dealing with another man confusing me tonight, fuck them.
Ignoring Colin in front of me, when Steve reapers with a shot in his hand I quickly take it before he can even say a word to me. Still, I am going to say thank you, I'm not a monster of a person—
"And your name is?" Colin asks to Steve untrustworthy of his presence by my side before I can even let out my words.
"Steve."
Grabbing the sides of his opened flannel that I've noticed just now, it has too many flowers, Colin, with a bit more strength than is used to do on what he's about to do, accommodates the shirt as he gives the fakest smile I've ever seen him give. "Nice shirt, Steve."
Obviously, Steve is a bit confused on what just happened. And I can't lie, so am I. What's with Colin and why is he hating on Steve? That's my job. "Thanks."
"Who wants to play suck and blow?!" Griffin yelling and getting our attention, he walks to the middle of the circle while holding a single card between his fingers.
"I never say no." Steve says by side inviting himself to the game. I don't argue with him, Griffin yelling the question inviting the whole club by the strength of his voice isn't something that I get to play as: "no, it's only for our group. Sorry."
But it looks like that doesn't care to Griffin, the second he gives me and Steve a look, he's ready to play the same mysterious part Colin played a bit ago. "And you are?"
"I'm Steve."
"And what are you doing next to Lilith?" He isn't afraid to show his untrusted feeling towards Steve, not even on his words.
Another man confusing me tonight?! What's next, Bobby and Paul joining and leading Steve out the club?!
"I like to surround myself with beautiful women."
Ugh.
Bobby and Paul, please join.
Griffin gives Steve a sarcastic smile. "Funny."
Deciding to get ready for the game, Griffin and Colin both leave Steve alone. Taking the opportunity, he turns to me. "You have a protective group."
I simply nod, confused. "I bet."
"Y'all know this game," Griffin starts as I take the shot to my lips and let the liquid go down my throat. Trying to get rid of the burning, I pay attention to Griffin's words "you suck on the card and pass it on to the person to your left. If you drop it, you'll have to kiss that person. So," he places himself next to Paul and smiles at him "hi, how are you doing tonight?"
I'm guessing he's gonna accidentally drop the card, right?
"Excuuuuuuse me." Colin getting in between Steve and I, he slowly makes his way even if Steve takes a bit to understand the hint, he moves to the side.
"Colin, what are you doing?" I can't help but ask.
Smiling at me, he lets his arm go around my shoulders. "I like to surround myself with beautiful women." Mocking Steve for only me to hear, it's soon followed by a little chuckle.
I point at him. "Don't drop the card on purpose."
"Believe me, beautiful, that's not why I'm here."
"Lucifer!" Before I can reply to Colin, the excited yell of Paul gets my attention. And it's not because of the strength of his tone, no, because of the name that was let out. "We thought you weren't coming."
My eyes don't hide the need of wanting to see him and immediately turn around when I feel the presence of him by my side. The smell of his perfume rushes to my nose as my eyes are locked on his soft skin shining under the colourful lights of the club. His tired face hasn't changed, and neither did the frustration in his eyes, but, trying to hide it, he shrugs his shoulders uninterested and gives Paul a little smile.
"Yeah, well, I was bored."
It looks like Lucifer has noticed my eyes on him. Giving me a quick look the second our eyes stare at each other my heart jumps a beat and my inability to break our eye contact takes over my body. He lazily has his hands on the inside of his pockets, doing the most normal pose he could do, and even then, my mind can't help but think how attractive he looks like this with his messy curls and casual clothes, my eyes think he's the most interesting thing they could stare at.
"We're playing suck and blow!" Lucifer and I break our contact the moment Paul yells, waving the car around.
"We want to play!" A group of random girls joins us. Colin, like the playboy he is, forgets he's by my side and walks over to them, immediately placing both of his arms around their shoulders.
"Well, hello, hello ladies."
"I promise I won't drop the card on purpose." Steve reapers by my side, giving me yet another cocky smile.
He better not.
Enough that now I have to share my side with Lucifer. If he's gone back to normal then he's welcome to insult me, a good banter is appreciated, but if he's not, he better bite his tongue and take his eyes out with a spoon because dealing with a messy head and the alcohol that is now in my system isn't a good combination.
"C'mon, let the game begin!"
Lucifer's shoulder brushes my arm when the group comes closer to start the game. My head wants to prevent my eyes from staring at him and be lost once again, so, getting closer to Steve is what my feet do listening to my brain once and for all.
Colin's eyes located on Lucifer soon get my attention, the concern from before has reappeared and it does take me long to try and figure out what's the conversation they're having with only their eyes.
"I want to start, give me give me!" Paul's voice prevents me from getting anywhere and leads my attention towards him as he places the card against his lips, ready to start the game.
"You better drop the card, baby." Griffin jokes to Paul gaining a little chuckle from him. Still, he doesn't drop the card, he's even able to smile when Griffin approaches him and sucks the card from Paul's mouth.
"Griffin," Bobby's next, waiting for his friend to turn and face him "you seem to be pretty good at sucking."
I can't help it, a loud laugh escapes me joined by Ada, who's shoulders are still wrapped by Ryker's arm. "C'mon, Griffin, you got this!"
Bobby sucks the card and like a professional who's done this before, turns with ease to the girl next to him. She does it well too, already facing Colin after a couple of seconds of having the card against her lips.
"C'mon!" The girl on the other side of Colin excitedly yells as she claps her hands. My eyes follow Colin and how slowly he's proceeding, but when the same arm from before touches me once again, my attention inevitably goes to Lucifer.
Wait— Oh, no. If I get the card and I accidentally drop it, I'm gonna have to kiss Lucifer in front of everyone. We've kissed before, multiple times in many places, why the sudden nerve rushes to my chest?
The other possibility that could happen is me not dropping it, but still, being that close to Lucifer could lead to anything. My eyes sometimes have trouble looking away and focusing on something else while he's in the room. Who's to say I'm not gonna fuck up while the card is against my lips?
"Uh! What a shame!" The voice of Colin pretending to be disappointed brings me back to the game to find the card on Colin's hand and the girl waiting for it rolling her eyes but with a smile on her lips. "I dropped it!"
"You did it on purpose!" She replies.
"You're calling me a cheater? I'm offended! You're gonna have to kiss me right now to relieve my pain."
Letting out a little laugh, the girl tries to hide how excited she is and bites her lower lip to prevent the giant smile that's fighting to come out. They finally give each other a little kiss soon followed by the sound of everyone cheering for them.
The girl as soon as the kiss is over hands the card to Ryker for him to continue with the game. My eyes follow him, getting ready. The more it's getting closer to me and Lucifer, the more my nerves go bigger and bigger inside of me.
What if I bail? What if I say that I have to go to the bathroom? Stomachache?
You were fine a minute ago when you took the fucking shot, Lilith.
I need to take some fresh air?
Yeah, and open the invitation for Steve over here to follow me outside and get trapped in a conversation with him.
Fine! You think of something!
Die.
"Ryker, don't drop it and I'll kiss you anyway. I don't want to lose, baby." Ada's voice leads my eyes to her and Ryker slowly getting closer and closer to her.
Sucking the car, Ada focused as hard as she can the second she is in possession of the card. Turning to face Steve, he sucks it like Bobby and Colin, like he's done this before and better than anyone on the group.
My eyes follow Steve and how he turns around towards me determined on every move he's making, not afraid of losing the car against his lips. I seriously don't want to kiss this guy, not tonight and not tomorrow, so, my brain repeatedly hopes and hopes Steve doesn't let the card go. Once again, Lucifer's arm touches mine with more pressure this time to the point of me feeling his entire body behind me.
Annoyed by it, I take a step closer to Steve inevitably making the turn a lot easier for him to do.
Don't drop it. Don't drop it. Don't drop it. Don't drop it.
I get impatient waiting for his face to finally face me, it's like the game turned into a movie scene and it's in slow motion where the only sound you can hear is my heart beating faster and my nerves being at the red level like those bars you see in computer games. Soon enough we'll see the dramatic sweat drops falling down my forehead.
Closer and closer Steve gets. Don't drop it. Don't drop it. Don't drop it. Don't—
My eyes follow how the card slowly and painfully drops to the floor like its laughing at me on the way down. My heart stops and my eyes want to roll, annoyed at what Steve did. He purposely dropped the fucking card to kiss me. Great and even more great. Could anything go worse tonight? Universe? Anything else you went to throw at me?
"Sorry!" Steve innocently says as he locks eyes with me. "Guess we're gonna have to kiss now."
My insides have to cringe at him. Steve, you're not good like Colin, shut up.
Not even a single word comes from the group like it happened a minute ago when Colin had to kiss the girl. Dude, I'm the one that's not excited, a little bit of support here! That would be nice!
"I guess so!" I try to not sound as annoyed as I actually am. This guy is corny but he has done nothing wrong that could potentially lead to me wanting to punch him and run away as fast as my feet allow me—
He's getting closer now. Oh, boy. Alright, time to do it. Cool, cool, cool, cool. No big deal. It's just a kiss, a little kiss. It's gonna be over in a second... or at least I hope so. Now he's breathing has reached my skin, slowly and slowly like the movie scene this has become. I close my eyes, hoping this kiss is faster than I'm expecting. It's gonna be a second it's gonna be a second it's gonna be a second.
I'm ready to taste Steve's lips— oh, god, universe? Remember that I asked what else you're gonna throw me? Can it be something good this time? Before I can place another thought in my brain, a pair of hands grab my cheeks and l lead me to my other side. Confused on what's happening, I try to open my eyes to see the owner of this warm hands, but some lips soon crushing against mine prevents me to do so.
I recognise this taste and thick lips immediately.
It's Lucifer.
He's kissing me in front of everyone, and it's not dream or a trick that my mind has placed on my skin to think of Steve as Lucifer, no, I can tell by the sound of everyone gasping and a couple of excited claps from others.
"Fucking finally!" I hear Colin's excited scream that soon fades away when my body loses itself on Lucifer's kiss.
What am I doing? Everyone's watching and I know for a fact they're not gonna let it go easily, the claps that are still going on make me believe the group has formed a little celebration surrounding us.
Lucifer doesn't seem to want to let me go any time soon, he doesn't even care about our friends seeing us kiss. No, his body and mind are with their full attention on me and the way that my lips go tense at the sound of another yell coming from our friends around us. Noticing this, Lucifer breaks the kiss and soon lets go of my body. His eyes don't hold with mine, instead, he turns to the group with a cocky smile on his lips pretending like this was just a silly little game.
"There's no a rule about not stealing the kiss, right?" He jokes.
"That's my boy!" Griffin shakes Lucifer's shoulder while I just stand there, trying to process what he just did.
I don't know if I'm mad, confused or even happy that he saved me from kissing Steve. It's a mix of everything together that my brain has shut down, enabling my mouth from letting something out and realise that Ada is now in front of me.
"What was that all about?" Her smile shows me that she's excited yet confused of what she just saw. "Steve is all gone."
I can't check that, Lucifer now staring at me as he sends a wink my way, has all my attention. "Nice lips, Avery." His thumb caresses my lips. "Don't look so shook, you've been dying to do that, don't lie."
The cocky smile disappears for a second as Lucifer stares at my confused eyes and quiet mouth, it was as quick as the wind, that only I could be able to catch that and get the anger slowly growing inside my veins.
Would you look at that? Steve is not the one I'm gonna kill tonight, and it all turns around just with a quick switch.
Finally, Lucifer leaves my side gaining the cocky smile again on his lips and another excited slap on the arm from Colin. I follow him with eyes as he heads towards the front door, hesitant if I should go with him or not.
"I think someone owns me twenty bucks!"
"C'mon, guys, you really think those two haven't kissed before?"
"That's true! That kiss looked like it happened before!"
"Why am I more excited than them right now?"
"I really thought they were gonna kill other rather than kiss each other, to be honest."
"Lilith?" My name let out by Ada is what brings my brain back to the group. "Are you alright?"
"If by alright you mean extremely confused, then, yeah. I— I don't even know what to think right now."
"Then go after him." Locking eyes with Ada, I hesitate once again on my next move. "C'mon, Lilith fucking Avery always gets an answer. Go after him and get all of your questions answered, I hate watching you get all confused."
You and me both, Ada. You and me both.
Listening to my best friend, my feet don't wait long to take my body towards the front door and walk through it. Ada's right. I always get an answer, no matter how, no matter how long it takes me, the crime show freak in me always finds a way to know the truth.
The moment the fresh wind blows against my skin, I don't expect to be able to find Lucifer as quick as I step outside. But I'm wrong. The sound of his motorcycle being on in front of the club gets my attention as quick as I make my way towards it.
Lucifer's looking down while both of his hands are on the handle, ready to take off. I wait for him to do so, leave me alone in this street not wanting to hear my questions and avoid any confrontation. For my surprise, he doesn't, instead, he sits there while the engine of his motorcycle keeps going.
As soon as I arrive in front of him, my mouth doesn't open. Somehow my tongue can't let out anything that has been through my brain since nothing seems to be the perfect words for this moment. I stay there as well, letting my breathing relax for a second when those green eyes are still locked on the motorcycle under him.
"Get on the bike, Avery." I hear Lucifer's voice say in a firm tone. I don't reply to it or even make my brain think of something to say letting my heart beating faster and him be all my mind has to focus on. Moving the handle to make an even bigger noise with the engine, Lucifer finally meets my eyes with his. "Now." This time, it's not firm, is as soft as the wind carrying our words around us.
I don't even ask myself what should I do, it's obvious what my answer is gonna be even if I overthink it. So, letting my body do what Lucifer says, I let my hands grab his waist and I sit down behind him. Soon after, all my ears can hear is his motorcycle and the sound of the club getting further and further away.
My heart isn't beating fast anymore, the second my head rests on his back and my arms wrap tightly around his body, it all suddenly becomes softer around me, slower and peaceful like a rainy night and the comfort of your own bed sheets.
Now I am overthinking it, did I make the right decision?
...
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