Chapter 6

<Gavin Forrester>

It's been a couple of days since Victoria got attacked after the fish fry. She hasn't asked to leave the house since and as mean as it sounds, we're all relieved. I think she may have actually learned her lesson this time, which makes everyone's lives a little easier.

She's lying on the couch with a sad expression on her face. After the attack, she tried to apologize to Blaze and he was nice to her in the moment but after we got her home and took care of the sprained wrist she'd acquired during the confrontation, I could tell that Blaze was done trusting her.

He has avoided her for the past few days and every time he sees her, he turns around and walks out of the room. I've tried to explain to her that he's just mad and that he'll get over it but she's convinced he hates her, which to be fair is not that far off from the truth but I'd never tell her that.

I think he feels like he's tried so hard to get everything to go perfectly and Victoria keeps coming along and getting in the middle of it; teaching people things was never his strong suit and in such dire circumstances I don't think he wants that added pressure.

I sit down on the couch and move Victoria's legs. She doesn't even acknowledge my presence.

"C'mon, quit moping. Blaze will calm down eventually."

"Eventually being the keyword. I really screwed up this time, Gavin. I don't think he'll get over it." Victoria turns to face me and lets out a deep breath.

""I've known him forever. He just needs a little time until he has everything planned out in his head again." I cup her cheek gently in my hand and give her a reassuring smile.

"Gavin, I feel awful. I just keep messing things up for you guys and please don't try to deny it." Victoria pushes my hand away from her cheek and stands up.

"Without you I wouldn't even be out of Attica right now. I have you to thank for my freedom and for me finally being able to go places without shackles." I chuckle and get off the couch to make my way slowly towards her.

"I just don't understand how whenever I recommend going outside, something goes wrong. I try so hard to be careful and to listen to you guys but I always manage to get myself into trouble and it's ultimately you guys who have to blow your cover to rescue me. I'm tired of being a hindrance instead of a help." Victoria says in a choked up tone.

"Every time I've had to rescue you has been because I wanted to and Victoria, I'd go back and do the all over again. I am and always will be here for you. I don't want anything to happen to you because I love you and I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I let something bad happen to you." I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear and try to tilt her chin up but she won't move her gaze from the ground.

"You guys have tried so hard to stay hidden and I keep ruining that. I'm not cut out for this, Gavin. I'm not cut out for running from the cops or for staying inside all of the time just to keep my freedom or having all of these guilty secrets weighing down on me like a 3 ton truck. I can't breathe anymore, I can't sleep anymore; honestly, it's a miracle I can keep any food down." Victoria whispers and looks into my eyes but the sadness they hold make me wish she'd just kept staring at the ground.

"We'll get through this, together. You just have to trust me." I cup her cheek and lean in but she places her hand on my lips.

"I want to with all of my heart but Gavin, there are so many complications in this situation that I don't think we'll make it through this. We can say things will get better, we can pretend that there's nothing that can go wrong but in reality, we're worse here than we were in New York when we just had Talon to run from. Now we have every cop in the US after us." Victoria points out with blunt honesty.

I drop my hand from her cheek and give her a questioning look.

"What do you mean by that?" I pull my hand down my chin in frustration.

"I'm a walking target. Everywhere I go, the cops are sure to follow. The police chief is my dad and I'm on vacation in the place where 3 fugitives are suspected of running to. They'll put two and two together and eventually figure out everything. I don't want to put you or your friends in any more danger than I already have." Victoria's voice cracks as she looks at me.

"Are you saying we'd be better off if you just left?" I snap and give her a heated glare.

She nods bitterly and drops her gaze.

"No, damn it, I will not let you leave me. Not after everything we've been through. I've fought too hard to keep you here, I've sacrificed so much for you, Victoria and I'm not going to lose the one thing in my life that makes continuing on worth it." I shout and hear a few more people shuffle into the room.

"You think this is going to be easy for me? I love you, Gavin and that's exactly why I'm doing this. I'm not leaving to make my life easier, I'm leaving to make everyone else's easier. If I'm gone than half of your problems are too." Victoria's eyes well up with tears and she brushes them away with the side of her hand.

"A problem is the last word I'd use to describe you. You're beautiful and funny and a pain in my ass but I love you with all of my heart so, a problem is the last thing you'll ever be to me." I grip her shoulders tightly and stare into her eyes.

She looks scared and angry. It hurts that I'm the one causing this. I let go of her and back up a few steps.

"I just wish we could go back to the way our relationship was before. I want to go back to New York where we could go out in public and hang out wherever we wanted. I want to go back to a time where the only enemy I knew was Carter and the invisible enemy of Talon. I want to go back to a time where I could sleep and eat and my stomach wasn't a constant knot of nerves." Victoria says, fighting to keep her voice level.

"If we hadn't gone through all of that then we never would've known how much we love each other." I reach for her hand but she snatches it away.

"I'm tired of being tested. I just want something to go right for once. My whole being was tested a few months ago when my parents tried to murder me. I'm sorry if I don't want to be tested anymore." Victoria mutters and angrily crosses her arms.

"I gave up my freedom a few months ago just to make sure you got out from that hotel alive." I mimic her arm crossing and feel a seed of hurt plant itself in my heart.

"I've never forgotten that but if you want to keep your freedom then you need to let me leave." Victoria whispers, her voice cracking a little on the word 'leave'.

"No, I fought too damn hard to keep you here, next to me. I'm not going to sacrifice that for anything. Not for money, not for my freedom, not for anything. You are the only person I've ever loved this way and I refuse to give you up. Why can't you see that?" I drop my arms and clench my fists by my sides.

"I'm doing this for you, Gavin, so you can be free. I will wake up every day and smile as long as I know somewhere in the world, you are allowed to do the same without any restraints whatsoever." Victoria smiles a little at the prospect.

"I'll never be free if you leave 'cause then I'll only think of you and what I could've done to make you stay, every day for the rest of my life." My voice becomes choked up as I look at her teary brown eyes.

"Gavin, please don't do that. You'll be fine; you just have to let me go." A tear traces the side of her face as it falls from her eye.

"Why can't you see how much I love you? How much I need you?" I plead and place a hand on her shoulder.

"I don't need you to convince me how much you love me." She says in a small voice.

"Then how can you still want to leave me? How can you be okay with breaking my heart like this?" I shout and grip her shoulder a bit tighter.

"I've had my heart broken plenty of times. Let me be the first to tell you, you'll get over it and you'll get over me." She mutters bitterly as she tries to remove my hand from her shoulder.

"How the hell can you stand there and say that to me? I've risked everything, including my life, for you because I love you and I never want to give you up. I want to love you and be with you for every day I have to be on this planet. A day without you, Victoria, is a day wasted and I've already had too many wasted days." I say, my voice dropping to almost a whisper.

"Gavin, the reality it, if I stay then none of us will ever be free. If you want to be free then I need to leave."

"No, you don't have to do that. I'll do anything to change your mind. I don't care if I'm free, if I'm dead or if I'm captured, as long as I have you I'll be able to survive anything. Victoria, you are all I need." I run my thumb under her eye, a failed attempt to dry her tears.

"Gavin, this isn't fair to either of us. If I stay then something will go wrong and eventually you'll end up back behind bars. If I go then we'll both spend all of our time missing each other." Victoria says, as if she's seriously thinking it through for the first time.

"There's no good option. Please just stay, if I go back to prison then it's really where I'm meant to go and I'll accept that because somehow, some way, it's part of God's plan. I just need to have faith that everything will turn out okay in the end." I smile and tilt her chin up so her brown eyes are staring into mine.

"I can't sit around and pretend that everything will be okay, Gavin because something needs to be done about our situation and I think it's best if I'm the one to do it. My dad can get me out of sending the bobby pins but if they find you, there's nothing that can be done to help you or your friends. You've already saved me, Gavin. It's time you let me save you." Victoria places her hand on my cheek and attempts to smile through her tears.

"I don't want you to go." I whisper, tears burning in the corners of my eyes.

"I don't want to go either but I have to. If you let me go now, as soon as everything blows over, I swear on my life I will come back and find you. Then we can be together, for real this time, without any complications. I promise, Gavin." Victoria drops her hand from my face and brushes her tears away.

"Promises can be broken, Victoria. I don't want you to break this promise."

"Gavin, any promise I make to you is one that I will keep and will fulfill even if it takes me the rest of my life. I wouldn't give up the love we have for anything and just 'cause I'm gone doesn't mean that I'm going to stop loving you. You changed my life, and I'd never go back and change that. I just need you to trust that I'm going to come back. I need you to know that this isn't the end of us, it's just a new chapter." She holds my gaze for a few seconds before looking at the doorway.

"I like the chapter we're on." I mumble, barely able to get the words out of my mouth.

"You can't convince me out of this. I love you and I wouldn't be leaving if I didn't. It hurts like hell but this is the only way things will get better. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be sacrificing being with you for your own freedom. I would be selfish and just stay and continue to compromise your every plan for being under the radar. But see, Gavin, I do love you and that's exactly why I have to leave. Please try to understand."

"A heartbroken man will never be able to understand the reason his heart is being broken." I cross my arms, my jaw set tightly in anger as I stare at the beautiful woman standing in front of me.

"I need to go pack." Victoria mutters and walks quickly down the hallway, completely ignoring Blaze and Slick who were, at that moment, crowding the doorway.

"I hope you guys are happy. Maybe if you'd spent less time harping on every bad thing she did, she wouldn't feel like leaving was her only option. The only reason, no offense, I wanted out of Attica was to be with her and now she's leaving. There is literally no reason for me to be free now." I shove through my friends and begin to walk down the hallway towards mine and Victoria's bedroom.

"Gavin, we helped you get out of prison and we'll help you get her back since this is mostly our fault but don't expect us to be sad she's decided to leave. Things would be a little bit easier around here if she just went back to New York but since you love her, we'll help you make her stay." Blaze offers in his usual arrogant way.

"You guys are unbelievable. I don't need your help at the moment, you've done enough as it is." I snap and continue my short walk down the hallway.

I come to my bedroom door and lean my ear against it. The only sounds coming from the room are that of shaky breathing and zipping suitcases.

"Victoria, please don't go. I promise I'll make this work. I'll make everything get better, just give me one more chance."

"Gavin, this isn't about chances. You've given me so many chances to listen and do stuff for the best of the group and I just couldn't. Now, I have a chance to do something that will actually be helpful instead of hurtful. I want you to be free and if me leaving is the only way for that to be achieved then I will leave. I need to learn to put others before myself." Victoria states in a shaky voice.

"Victoria, it is not your job to fix this mess. I put you in these circumstances and I plan on getting us out of them, together. I won't let you go, not like this, not by your own choice. If you leave, it'll be dragged out by the cops because there is no way in hell I will let you go voluntarily. I want to protect you and I want to be with you until we are literally forced apart. I don't want you to have to choose to leave, I never wanted you to have to make that choice. I just thought that things would work out, and that we could work them out together." I hear a sniffling coming from the other side and then Victoria opens the door.

Her eyes are puffy from crying and her nose is red. My eyes travel around her to the room beyond and I see a few duffle bags packed with all of the stuff she'd brought with her.

"You deserve freedom more than anyone else in the world; let me give you that gift, just to show you how much I love you." Victoria looks pained, like she's holding back more tears so it'll appear that she's perfectly okay with everything that's going on.

I take her in my arms and hold her as close to me as possible. I run my fingers through her hair and I feel her body shake with sobs. I kiss her forehead as I try to think of what else I could say to try and make her stay.

"You think this is only hard on you, Gavin? This is the worst decision I've ever had to make; both of the outcomes suck but I had to choose the one that was the best for you because in the end, what happens to you is my main concern. I love you." She says as she tries to catch her breath in between sobs.

"We don't all have to play superhero." I whisper as I place my lips on the side of her head.

"Just let me go." Victoria pleads, not wanting to spend any more time contemplating the situation.

"Fine, I just have one request, the last thing I'll ask of you." I hold her at arm's length and gauge her reaction.

"Anything," She says breathlessly.

"I want to spend one last night with you. I want to lay by your side and feel you breathe as I sleep, just one last time. Give me that and I will let you go." I sigh and bite my lip.

Victoria nods as more tears fall on her cheeks.

~~~~~

It's three o'clock in the morning. I'm lying next to Victoria, her heart is beating slowly and her even breathing is relaxing me but I can't sleep. I can't sleep knowing that in a few hours she'll be leaving me and that I'm the one who's letting her go.

I finally close my eyes to try and savor the moment but then I hear some rustling of sheets. I open one eye and watch as Victoria pulls on her shoes and goes into the bathroom to get ready to leave me.

I get out of bed as silently as I can and walk down the hallway to the kitchen. I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit down at the breakfast table. I know I told Victoria I would let her go without a fight but even she knew that wasn't true. I take a sip and a certain bitterness takes over my palette.

I hear Victoria coming down the hallway with her duffle bags. I smile at the fact that she probably thinks she's being stealthy. She's about as stealthy as a drunk teenager sneaking in past curfew.

I set my coffee down and wait for her to come into the living room where she'd be in my full range of vision. She walks down the hallway a few minutes later and sets her duffle bag down so, she can grab her phone from her back pocket.

"You didn't think I'd let you go that easy, did you?" Victoria practically jumps at the sound of my voice.

"No, I didn't but I expected you to respect my choice and to honor your word. You said you'd let me go but..." I interrupt Victoria by placing my lips on hers.

I snake my arm around her waist and pull her as close to me as possible. She tangles her fingers in my hair as I deepen the kiss. When we let go, she brushes some hair from my eyes and places her hands on either side of my face.

"I know you have to go but I swear I'd do anything to make you stay." I whisper and continue to hold her close to me.

"Kiss me again, make me stay, Gavin." Victoria leans in so our lips are mere millimeters apart. "I'm going to let you make this choice. Close these millimeters between us or let me walk out that door again."

"I'm never letting you walk out that door." My shoulders slump again, like a weight has been lifted off of them.

I place my lips on hers, thankful that this won't be the last time I get to.