Chapter 23

<Victoria Grayson>

14 damn days and I'm still trapped down here.

Two weeks, on the nose; that's how long I've been trapped in Talon's hell-hole. Talon has tortured me, beaten me, and let the vermin do all sorts of things to me. Thankfully, he stops them before things go too far. He usually just lets them bite me and slam me into the wall a few times before he moves them away and begins his own personal reign of torture on me. The rest of the day, I'm left alone in the dirty basement with only my pessimistic thoughts for company. I've tried to stay positive but after a couple weeks of torture, I only have so much will left to keep my chin held-high.

The basement is cold, bitingly cold and dark even when the sun is shining brightly outside the barred window. My whole body is covered in dirt and bruises from the two weeks of torture and I smell like a dead animal. My hair is matted and greasy and my cheeks are hollow from the lack of food. My eyes are surrounded by dark circles since I haven't been able to sleep very well. Ironically, the only times I felt even partially rested was when Talon drugged me and even then it wasn't so much sleeping as passing out.

My back is lacerated with deep cuts Talon has inflicted to remind me of how many days have gone by without me being rescued. It's a painful realization that as much as I want someone to come rescue me, they may never. Talon, however messed up he may be, knows how to kill and I highly doubt he'd use mercy on people who want to take me away from him. For all I know, Gavin has already tried to rescue me and Talon has already killed him. I can't afford to think that way though; I have to keep up my faith whether I want to or not.

The loneliness of the basement is driving me to the brink of insanity. I have no one to talk to, no access to the outside world and the only contact I have with other humans is when my mother comes down to glare at me and give me bread and water. I've actually resorted to drawing on the dirt floor to keep my mind off of my impending insanity and singing the same old lullaby to calm my nerves. I'm pretty sure if someone saw me in this state, they'd conclude that I've already lost my mind. However, I still have part of it left, the part that won't succumb to Talon, the part that can keep up the faith even when I feel like giving up.

Ironically, staying sane is the only thing that keeps me going. If I'd flown off the handle a week ago, my will to live probably would've left me just like my mind. I keep telling myself that if I remember who I am and I stay strong, than there's nothing Talon can do that I can't survive. However, that's a complete lie; there's plenty Talon can do to me that I can't survive, which includes but is not limited to starving me, beating me up and throwing knives at my overly exposed body parts.

I haven't seen Carter since the night he brought me a tray of real food. The cynic in me believes that he got punished for helping me out but somehow I know he's more careful than that. Somehow I believe that wherever he is, he's okay. I mean as much as I hate him, which is a lot, I don't really want to him to be seriously injured because he's the only ally I have in this hell-hole.

I move around restlessly and stare at the pale light from the window that's now dancing across the dirty floor. I shiver and continue to drag my finger through the thick dirt on the ground, my stomach grumbling all the while. With one final swooping motion, I look down with pride upon the flower I've completed drawing. An insane half-grin spreads across my face and then I rock back and forth, the words of the lullaby escaping my lips.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly all your life..." I sing softly, my eyes closing slowly. "You were only waiting for this moment to arise."

Dear God,

I'm trying my hardest to survive...to keep up my faith but it's been weeks and I keep thinking that things can only get worse. I know that you are with me but I really don't know what to do anymore. I need strength, I need some sense of security. Please give me the will to carry on; don't let me sink into insanity.

I know I just need to trust you and everything will turn out okay in the end but I'm scared out of my mind. I need you and your protection now more than ever, God. I'm holding onto my faith because it's the only thing keeping me alive and I just ask that you let me live longer; I still have so much life left, I don't want this to be the end but if it is, I guess I'll just have to accept it and be thankful for the life you've given me. Thanks for everything and, despite it all, I still have faith in you, God. In Jesus' name I pray...Amen

~~~~~

"Victoria, here's your breakfast." I hear my mother bark.

Since I already know what's on the tray, I decide not to wake up. My mother taps her foot impatiently and then I hear her walk off, most likely to fetch some torture device so she can force me to acknowledge her. I bury my face in my folded arms and wait for the inevitable. I'm still half-asleep when I suddenly feel freezing cold water being dumped forcefully on my head. I sit up immediately, flipping my hair back so I can actually see my surroundings. My mother tosses the bucket to the side and slides my breakfast towards me with her foot.

"I'm not eating this." I comb my fingers through my wet hair and stare down disgustedly at the bread and water.

"You will if you want to live." She snaps, her eyes flashing wildly.

"There is not one motherly bone in your body." I say calmly, brushing water and dirt off of my legs.

"You're completely right and I have no plans of getting one." My mother responds with an evil smirk before walking up the stairs in a taunting manner.

So much for blood is thicker than water...

The dirt underneath me has turned into an uncomfortable form of mud and my hair is still dripping down my back. I shiver slightly and then stand up to stretch my legs, my feet sinking slowly into the mud beneath me. I wiggle my toes around, dirt filling all the crevices and coating the entirety of my feet. I sit back down a few minutes later and try to come up with something to do, not that there's really anything to do except draw on the floor and hope that Talon doesn't pay me a visit.

I wring my hair and fan it out around me as I lay down. My eyes travel to ceiling where brown wood, coated in mud, greets my weary gaze. I stare at the ceiling for a long time and then close my eyes, a fitful sleep filled with apprehension ensuing.

~~~~~

A sharp prod in my side brings me back to my senses. I blink a few times and pray that Talon isn't the one kicking my sides. I use my elbows to prop myself up and then I come face to face with Carter. He sets a tray down at my side and then takes a seat next to my head. I look up at the window, my only means of telling the time of day, and discover that the grass is dark, almost invisible instead of bright green as it is in the daylight.

"Where've you been?" I ask weakly as I pick up the sandwich off the platter.

"I tried to offer to bring you food but your mother suspected that I wasn't giving you her version of a meal so she made Talon keep me extremely busy. She just left the house to go get something, though, so that's how I could get down here." Carter admits and stares down at the tray, his brow furrowed.

"Carter, thanks for doing all this for me." I whisper and grab the glass of water.

"I haven't really done much." He mutters and looks slowly into my eyes.

"Without you, I would've starved to near-death a long time ago." I give Carter a small half-smile and then gulp down my water.

"Did you only eat when I brought you food that once?" Carter looks down at his lap with shame etched into his features.

"Yeah but that's not your fault...I chose not to eat." I pat his knee gently and then set the glass down next to the empty sandwich plate.

"I'm so sorry; I wish I could've come down more often but I couldn't let them catch on cause then I'd be dead for sure." Carter bites his lip and stares intently at the bruises on my arms. "He did all this to you?"

"Yeah, it's a game to him, causing me pain." I say and cross my arms self-consciously.

Kind of like what you used to do to me...

"I'm sorry and I'm sorry I ever laid a hand on you." Carter murmurs, responding to the comment I hadn't said aloud. "I was such an ass and I wish I could take it back. I can't even begin to apologize for everything but someday I hope you can forgive me."

"Get me out of this hell-hole and we'll call it even." I tuck some hair behind my ear and stare straight into his eyes.

"That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about..." Carter starts off awkwardly and then lets out a deep breath.

"Are you gonna try and take me away now, while my mother is out?" I whisper in a skeptical tone.

"No, I don't know how to unlock you and Talon's cronies are guarding the door so I'll never get you past them..." Carter stares nervously as the door as though the people on the other side can hear every word we're saying.

"Then how am I going to get out?" I hiss, my stomach doing somersaults at the thought of how much trouble I'd be in if Talon heard any of this.

"There's only one person who can get you out of this, Victoria and we both know who that is..." Carter sighs and brushes some dirt off of his pant leg.

My heart plummets at the thought of Gavin and how long it's been since I've seen him.

"He hasn't come...I don't know how I could contact him...I don't even really know where I am, Carter." Tears well up in my eyes and my throat aches as I finish that sentence.

"I highly doubt he hasn't tried...Either way, this is where my plan comes in. There's no way in hell that I'll get you out here on my own and there's no way Gavin can get in here without a little help..." Carter explains and maintains eye contact with me throughout.

"He basically has to march right up to Talon's front door and he'll be let in..." I mumble and bite my lip.

"That's a quick and easy way to get killed." Carter snaps and then takes in a deep breath to calm himself. "I know that I'm the only one here that's making any effort to keep you alive but the longer we sit here and wait, the more likely it becomes that Talon will kill you. I need to go find Gavin and I need to help him get back in here and save you."

I stay quiet while my mind processes everything Carter just said. It would be an overstatement to say I'm shocked; I saw his plan coming the minute he brought up Gavin but it scares me to think that I'll once again be alone with no one on my side. I'm also hurt that someone else gets to go see Gavin, meanwhile I'm stuck down here, relying on another person to save me. I hate having to rely on others when it's my life on the line...I wish there was some way I could get myself out of this. I feel so helpless. The silence ensues for a few more minutes and then Carter breaks it.

"I'm sorry I can't take you with me. I'm sorry I have to leave you down here but I'm going to go get Gavin and we're going to come back and save you." Carter whispers and squeezes my shoulder.

"That's cute but no one is saving her; no one is getting past me or Talon." My mother's shrill cackle sounds from the foot of the stairs, causing my heartbeat the speed up.

Carter jumps to his feet, fists clenched, and stalks over to my mother.

"You're a weak, spineless creature; anyone could get past you." Carter fumes and then his fist makes contact with my mother's cheek.

My mother tries to fight back but Carter pins her arms behind her back as he continues to beat her up. He kicks her down to the ground and then straddles her to keep her from moving. She squirms and screams but Carter punches her mouth and suddenly she's unable to make any noise at all. His rage continues as he attacks every square inch of her. By the time he gets off of her, my mother is black and blue. Her lips are swollen, one of her eyes is puffy and shut and the rest of her body is limp.

"Is she still..." I start slowly and tilt my head towards her unmoving body.

"Living?" Carter raises his eyebrows and then looks at my mother venomously. "Yeah, I'm gonna take her upstairs and leave."

Still in complete shock, I nod and watch him drag her body sloppily up the stairs. He really meant what he said...He's not gonna let me die... I breathe deeply, a slight pain blooming in my side, and watch as he opens the basement door. He shoves her limp body through before slamming the door shut behind him. 

I listen closely and here a dull thud, meaning that Carter probably dropped my mother off somewhere nearby. A few seconds later, I hear another door slam, a car rumble to life in the distance and then the house goes silent again which causes my fear to intensify.

~~~~~

"Please let me go!" I wail as the men slam me into the wall for what must be the fifteenth time since they came down to the basement a few minutes ago.

"No, this is your punishment for what happened to your mother." Talon snaps harshly and gestures for the men to continue on.

"I didn't do that; in case you haven't noticed, I'm chained to the damn wall!" I scream out in pain as one of the men drives his fist as hard as he can into my abdomen.

The wind is momentarily knocked out of me and I sink down onto my knees, wheezing. Pain blooms in my rib cage as I try to catch my breath causing my breath to be shallow and completely insufficient. I cough and sputter which brings on more agony and then, after a few more painful moments, I have my breath back. Talon, noticing this fact, screams at his henchmen to do their jobs.

"Did I tell you to stop torturing her? No? Then do your damn jobs, she can't get away with this." Talon glares harshly as the men come near me once again.

I can't get away with what exactly? Breathing?

The men slam me into the wall, their hot breaths fanning my neck and their hands attacking every visible part of my body. One of them grips my hip bone as his fist connects with my cheek. I blink back a few tears, refusing to show any sign of weakness. The other man is using a serrated knife to cut my thighs, causing blood to drip down and mix with the dirt on the floor. 

I bite the inside of my bruised cheek and stare up at the ceiling so I don't have to look down at my battered body. I feel the larger one push his thick body on top of my fragile one and grab the small of back, his lips near my neck.

My eyes narrow and I bring up my hand to clutch his throat. My nails sink deeply into his fat neck and then I tighten my grip. It's his turn to writhe in pain. I tear my other hand out of the second man's grip and it connects with the larger man's temple. The second man makes a move as if the restrain me but thinks better of it and instead walks away with his hands up. I drag my nails down the large one's neck, a trail of blood following close behind. He twists and his face contorts with anger as I line up a punch. My knuckles make contact with his forehead and he stumbles back, narrowly missing his friend.

"Very impressive." Talon snarls and shoves his henchmen out of the way.

He brings the baseball bat out and begins to beat me with it, starting with my already bleeding legs. Tears spill over my cheeks and my weak body squirms in pain as he continues to assault me with the bat. When he reaches my ribs, a pain like I've never felt before takes over my body and I feel my mind become dizzy with the all-consuming feeling.

 I scream and screw my eyes shut as the pain continues and becomes worse with every new blow. I crumple on the ground, barely able to move an inch as I will the pain to just subside. I feel Talon grab my neck and hoist me up. He slams my head into the wall and holds me there by my hair.

"Never every cross me again." Talon's angry glare burns into my eyes but for once it does nothing to me.

Maybe it was the fact that I was losing my mind, maybe it was the fact that there really was nothing left to lose except myself but when I saw his soulless black eyes, my sanity left me for one fleeting moment and I laughed mirthlessly in his face. I laughed until tears were streaming down my face and my ribs were screaming for me to stop. I wiped off my cheeks with the back of my arm and then I found Talon staring at me with a mixture of fury and confusion.

"You're not going to win this game." I whisper with a note of confidence and in that moment I decided that I was done being pushed around; I was done sitting by and allowing Talon to walk all over me, done letting him break me while I hope for a better tomorrow.

I decided that I was ready to fight back and so in a beautifully gratifying moment, I gathered up every ounce of strength in my frail body and sent my left fist straight into Talon's unsuspecting nose. I watched innocently, a small smile playing on my lips, as he roars with pain and blood spatters down his white dress shirt. His nose is already swelling and his speech is now incomprehensible. I sink down to the ground and draw my knees up to my chest, knowing full-well the magnitude of what I've done.

"You'll pay for this." Talon hisses, his nose still dripping blood.

"I know but the thing is, I don't care." I state and stare directly into his eyes.

He squats down, his hand covering his most likely broken nose, and slams my head into the wall; his other dirty, bloodstained hand keeping me in place by my hair.

"You have no idea the mistake you've just made. You'll pay for this in so many ways." Talon snarls, his hand tugging on my hair tighter.

"Don't you see? You've already broken me, I've already lost my mind; there is nothing more you can take from me, nothing left for me to lose here. There's nothing more you can do to me that will affect me in the slightest. I'm already half-gone, Talon Tenebris and slipping even farther away." I reply calmly as if there's nothing left on earth I fear.

"I could kill you, Victoria, don't forget I have that power." Talon grinds his teeth furiously, his eyes narrowing.

"I don't fear death. The weak fear death but the strong accept it as the next chapter of their lives. Fearing death is fruitless anyway, it'll come and when it does, there's nothing you can do." I respond in the same calm manner as before which I can tell is bothering Talon beyond any measurable belief.

The atmosphere is silent after my comment, giving me time to breathe. I take in shallow, quick breaths, thus disrupting the quiet of the environment. Talon stands up without saying another word and leads his henchmen up the stairs. There's something oddly satisfying about watching him walk away dripping blood; it makes me feel like I've won for at least a minute, like the playing field is leveled.

I close my eyes and for a few seconds I have the sensation that someone's arms are wrapped around me. The arms are gentle and airy, almost as if they aren't there at all but for a short amount of time, I feel comforted by their embrace, whether I imagined them or not.

"I know you're there, God, you're always there." I say in a soft voice, knowing full-well that I'm talking to the only person who will always listen to me. "Thank you for giving me strength, thank you for giving me hope, thank you for letting me keep my life. Amen."

With that short and sweet prayer, I lay down and curl up in the dirt and mud with a smile on my face. I'm bruised, I'm in pain, I've been treated like trash but I have not lost my faith; I'm not completely broken. Words are just words, bruises heal, pain goes away but broken faith would be a hard thing to repair. Even though I'm barely holding onto a sliver of my sanity, I still know who I am. My eyes close and even though I know I'll be put through hell for what I did to Talon, a smile continues to spread across my face and I finally feel at peace because there's nothing left I fear.