Chapter 10

<Gavin Forrester>

Ainsley drops me off in town and promises to call me when she figures out exactly what information we stole from Talon's computer network. I wave goodbye and then begin to walk through town in a stupor. I'm still numb from the fact that Chief Grayson is on this island, working with Talon instead of against him. I shake my head and tighten my grip on the pieces of paper I brought with me.

I continue to walk until I reach the edge of town where the road turns into a forest of tangled brush and looming island trees. I break into a run the second my feet feel the familiar dirt path underneath them. I continue to sprint until Jeffrey's house comes into view.

I catch my breath and gather myself so no one will suspect anything of me. I go slowly up the steep staircase and take a deep breath as I knock on the door because I was smart enough to forget my key in my hasty attempt to leave this morning. The knob turns and Slick opens the door.

"Where you been, dumb ass?" He chuckles and lets me in just as the pouring rain begins.

"Just been out trying to wrap my head around everything, I guess." I smirk and walk down the hallway towards the kitchen.

Slick catches my shoulder before I'm actually out of the hallway.

"I don't appreciate you lying to me and neither does Victoria." Slick gives me a stern look and tightens his grip on my shoulder.

"She had no right to follow me and she has no idea what she saw." I mutter, my lips tight in anger.

"You didn't have to lie to us." Slick says in a hurt manner.

"You guys have no idea what's at stake. You guys would tell me to stop what I'm doing and I just can't do that; I have to finish what I started." I cross my arms and narrow my eyes at him.

"Please tell me you aren't talking about Talon."

"Good lord no; I'm done with him." I roll my eyes and walk out into the kitchen.

Well practically...

I continue to walk down the next hallway until I come to mine and Victoria's room. The door is thrown ajar and I can hear Victoria sobbing from just inside the room.

"How could I be such an idiot?" She shouts and I hear her throw something at the wall.

Great, just great...

"I believed him, I trusted him. I gave up everything for him and this is what I get. I get backstabbed and lied to." Victoria screams and I watch her pick up some of my clothes from my suitcase.

She throws them at the wall and then collapses on the floor. I notice the file is discarded on the floor and empty. It's empty only because Victoria has taken it upon herself to throw every last sheet of paper on the ground along with the rest of my stuff. I walk into the room and stand against the wall in silence. Victoria turns around and she's clutching some paper from the file. Makeup is streaking her face black and her nose is red and puffy from all of her crying.

"How could you keep this from me?" Victoria holds up a picture of Talon's building that's stamped with a time and place. "He's been here this whole time and you lied to me about it. You told me straight to my face that what you were getting involved with didn't involve me but Gavin, you know damn well that I'm as close to Talon as you are."

"I, I..." I stammer and try to force some words out of my mouth.

"Save it. I've have been lied to and backstabbed more times than I can count in these past few months and you were the last person I thought I would be betrayed by." Victoria stands up and drops the papers on the floor where she had thrown all of my other stuff.

She takes in a deep breath and tears stain her cheeks as she looks at me.

"Why the hell did you follow me?" I mutter in a slow, angry tone.

"If you hadn't given me reason to then I wouldn't've." Victoria sniffles and crosses her arms.

"What reason did I give you?" I ask and let out an angry sigh.

"I just wanted to know what you were getting yourself into since I knew you wouldn't tell me. I didn't want to see you go back to your old ways..."

"So basically, you didn't trust me to take care of myself." I cross my arms and tilt my head, waiting for her response.

"No, Gavin, you know what? I don't trust you. There, I said it and I mean it. We dated for months and you didn't even have the decency to tell me that your assignment was to kill me. In the end, you didn't even tell me; I found out from Carter of all people. There's a whole side of you that I've never gotten to know and that's the side that keeps coming up. You lied to me the whole time we were together and you only came clean when you knew my life was in serious danger. Yeah, you saved me and yes I trusted you enough to run away with you but lately it's becoming harder and harder to trust you. I can't trust someone I don't even know." Victoria's voice cracks at the end and she pushes me out of the way so she can leave the room.

"You think all the time leading up until now was a lie?" I whisper, hurt dominating my tone.

"You knew the whole time I was falling in love that you'd have to kill me and I know you'd never do it but you should've told me; I deserved to know." Tears fill her brown eyes as she turns away from me.

"That's not what this is about. I thought we were past that..."

"I can't move past it. I love you, Gavin but every time I look at you, I'm reminded of everything and it's hard to trust you when I know firsthand that you're damn good at keeping secrets." Victoria crosses her arms and leans up against the wall.

"I screwed up but I can't tell you why I had to be out all day."

"You can at least tell me why you were sitting in the front seat of Ainsley's car, letting her touch you and be close to you. If you won't give me that then I'll just leave. I can't take seeing you every day and knowing that you're hiding something from me." She lets out a deep breath and waits for my answer.

"Nothing was happening and nothing was going to happen."

"Did you come up with that on your run home?" She glares at me and then turns her head away.

"No, it's the truth." I bite my lip and stare at the back of her head.

"If nothing was going to happen then why'd you have to hide it from me? Why couldn't you just tell me that's who you were going to see?"

"You would have too many questions that I'm not willing to answer."

"For my safety, right? Gosh, you're such an asshole. You lied to me about going to see another girl and about the fact that my trigger-crazy father has headquarters here and your only excuse is that want to keep me safe. You are a piece of work, Forrester."

"I know I made a mistake...." I bite my lip as I try to think of what to say next.

"That's an understatement." Victoria rolls her eyes but doesn't continue to walk down the hallway. "The mistake was me trusting you apparently."

"Shut up, just shut up! I am not cheating on you, I have not been leaving this house to sneak off with Ainsley and I wish with all my heart that I could tell you what I've gotten myself into. You weren't supposed to find out yet, and not like this at least." I let out a fuming breath and lean up against the door frame.

"There is so much about you and about myself that I'm not supposed to know and I wish I didn't but I can't help feeling like if you were really serious about this relationship, you'd want me to know these things no matter the cost."

"I'm not going to sacrifice your life because of what I willingly got myself into." I say in the calmest voice I can muster.

"Gavin, you looked me straight in the eye and told me that what you'd gotten yourself into didn't involve me and then I find out that you're investigating the man who wants me dead. You lied to me and that's what's killing me." Victoria begins to cry again and I feel my heart break a little.

"You know what's killing me? The one person that I'd give up anything for, the one I love in the purest way possible, doesn't trust me. They flat out told me that they don't trust me and I don't know what I can do to gain their trust back. I know I was stupid to believe that everything would go back to normal after what Carter told you but I really thought you had faith in me, I thought you trusted me."

"I'm never going to get over what Carter told me but I did forgive you and I thought maybe you'd be more truthful with me after that almost tore us apart but I guess people never really change. You are going to keep lying to me for whatever reason and I'm just going to have to accept that." Victoria covers her mouth with her hand to stifle her sobs.

"Victoria, if I could tell you I would but now isn't the time."

"There's never going to be a good time to tell me that my murderous father is back and he's hell bent on finishing what he started but it would've sounded better coming from you instead from some file that you hid at the bottom of your duffle bag." She tries to maintain eye contact with me but her eyes quickly avert.

"I didn't want to worry you because I'm taking care of it. I'm going to do what I should've done a long time ago." I run my fingers through my hair and draw in a deep breath.

"Great for you, Gavin but that doesn't fix all the problems that little notion has caused."

"Are you still mad about Ainsley?" I ask gently, not wanting to upset her any further.

"If you saw me on the arm of another guy, you'd be mad too."

"Nothing was happening or going to happen." I say with a hint of guilt.

"It's not just that, it's that I had to find out for myself because you wouldn't tell me a damn thing. It's that I saw you two laughing and sitting together for hours, it's that I came home and found a file about my dad's new headquarters, it's that you didn't have enough decency to break any of these things to me." Victoria yells and slams her hand against the wall.

"I know I'm not a decent guy. I know I've done some screwed up things but I would never in a million years think of hurting you. I didn't want you to find out about this because I knew you wouldn't understand and I knew you'd try to stop me..." I flare my nostrils angrily and watch her shoulders tense up.

"Does it look like I'm stopping you? You think I'm just some roadblock in your life? I'd only stop you if I thought you were in danger but you've already made it very clear that you don't need me to protect you. You can do whatever you want for all I care because no matter what I say to you, you'll just do what you want anyway." With that Victoria zips up her jacket and walks down the hallway towards the front door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I shout as I race after her.

"Wherever I want; if you can do whatever you want then so can I." She opens the door loudly and I hear Slick and Blaze come down the hallway.

"You think I want to take down my mortal enemy? You think this is what I want to do with my life, Victoria?"

"Yes, I know you do and it's probably not that hard when you have your side-chick, Ainsley, next to you." She steps out onto the porch and gives me a bitter look.

"Get over it; I don't like her that way and I'm only hanging out with her because she has information that I desperately need."

"You're pathetic. You're holding onto her the way Talon held onto Carter." Victoria snarls and then turns to walk down the stairs.

"Don't ever compare me to Talon." I say each word slowly so as to make it poignant.

"You can't tell me what to do." She shouts back as she continues her trek down the stairs.

"Why do you have to be so difficult? Get back up here; I want to have a rational conversation. I want to work this out." I yell in a frustrated tone.

"You had so much opportunity to fix this and you kept lying to me. You kept one of the biggest secrets ever from me and you lied to me straight to my face when I confronted you about it. What else do we need to work out? You'd probably lie to me during that conversation too." She shoves her hands in her pockets and looks up at me from the ground.

"I never should've lied to you but I can't change the fact that I did. Please don't leave..." I look down over the railing of the porch and see her eyes tear-up.

"You got one thing right, Gavin. You never should've lied to me." With that she breaks into a run and disappears down the forest path.

She really left, I really let her leave. I watched her leave in tears again and I just let it happen. I stood here and let her walk out on me...I go back into the house and slam the door shut.

"Aren't you going to go after her?" Blaze crosses his arms and gives me a serious look.

"Why should I? You guys heard everything she said, I think I should just leave her alone for a while; she'd never come back with me anyway." I walk over to the couch and plop down in a defeated way.

"The Gavin Forrester I know wouldn't give up on something this fast." Slick mutters and sits down next to me.

"The Gavin you knew also wouldn't keep secrets and lie to people. I don't even know what I've become sometimes. I'm a monster and now I've lost the one thing I love most in the world." I run my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"The Gavin I know lied to people. He kept a ton of secrets but that's not what defined him. He never lost his sense of self. He never lost what made him human even when his boss tried to make him. He knows when he's crossed the line and he knows when he's screwed up. He's willing to accept his mistakes and he's loyal. The Gavin I know would never give up on the people he loves, ever. Victoria knows these things too and that's why she stayed with you because she knows deep down that you love her, she knows you'd never let anything bad happen to her." Slick pats my shoulder comfortingly as Blaze begins to speak.

"You're a terrible person." Blaze states bluntly. "I'm not going to lie to you because that would be fruitless. You murdered for money. You didn't care who the victim was or who was going to be effected; you just cared that you got paid. That's one of the lowest things a person can do but there's so much I respect about that sometimes I forget you ever did stuff like that. Slick's right, you knew every time you let a bullet go that you were making a mistake. You knew it was wrong and that's what kept you from succumbing to Talon's whim. You always accept your mistakes and now I think you're trying to fix them. You want to make things right and you know you never can but the important thing is that you want to. You'll probably never be forgiven the countless people you've murdered but you're human and you made a mistake. Yes I do think you're a monster but everyone is because we aren't perfect; we all sin but you want forgiveness and I believe that God can forgive anyone if they truly repent. I admire how loyal and fearless you are and how you tell it as it is. You don't try to sugarcoat anything and you know exactly what you get yourself into. I admire how protective you are and how when you love somebody you'd fight 'till the end for them. Gavin, you never lose sight of what's really important and I'm not going to let you give up all you are now. You are a good person who's done some terrible things. If you give up now then you are letting all those terrible things define you. Don't let what you've done become who you are."

After finishing his monologue, Blaze takes a seat in the armchair next to the couch.

"What am I supposed to do? Everything she said was right and there's no way I can fix the mess I've created. I didn't do anything with Ainsley and I wasn't going to." I bite my lip and stare dead-ahead.

"Listen, I know Victoria shouldn't've followed you and I know you don't want to talk about it but why were you hanging out with Ainsley?" Slick asks gently.

"You guys can't tell anyone, especially Victoria. I'm trying to find the right time to tell her but no time is right at the moment..." I look at each of them individually and wait for their confirmation.

"Are you sure you want us to keep something from Victoria?" Blaze asks and raises an eyebrow.

"You have to. She can't know about this until it's done."

"Fine, we'll keep your secret but you have to tell us everything." Slick says, speaking for both him and Blaze.

"Ainsley and I were on a stakeout. We were checking out Talon's new headquarters and taking notes on everything that was going on inside." I begin slowly and gauge their reactions.

"So, Talon is really back?" Blaze asks suspiciously.

"I saw him in the flesh and not only did I see him but I saw Chief Grayson too." I mutter, the anger once again making my blood curdle.

"The police chief is here? He's on the island?" Slick stands up, his eyes widening as he does.

"Don't worry about him; I don't think he's here to cart us back to the U.S."

"Why do you say that, Gavin?" Blaze looks at me and tilts his head.

"He wasn't slapping cuffs on Talon. He was buying crack from him and swapping stories like they were best friends. He ain't here to take him down." I shake my head disgustedly and look at the dark TV screen.

"You don't want us to tell Victoria that her stepdad is now working with Talon too?" Slick takes in a few nervous breaths and starts pacing.

"We can't; she's broken enough and I can't take sending another piece of bad news her way. She'd never get over that."

"She'll find it out someday and I get the feeling that it might be better coming from you." Blaze looks at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"She would never believe me if I told her the one person she thought was on her side was now working against her." I bite my lip as a wave of guilt washes over me.

"We'll keep your secret safe but you're going to have to tell her someday." Blaze gives me a serious look before going back to staring at the ceiling.

"Anything else you need to tell us?"

"All I'm doing is trying to take down Talon. I'm going to get rid of him and that's all I was trying to do with Ainsley."

"She's helping you take out Talon?" Slick pauses his pacing to look at me skeptically.

"Yes and that's it. We're not doing anything else." I cross my arms as I finish my sentence.

"Fine," Blaze says, ending the conversation.

~~~~~

It's been a few hours since Victoria left and it's getting dark. I know I should go get her but I don't even know how to begin apologizing and I have a feeling she won't come back until I have given her a proper apology. I'm lying on the couch and my phone begins vibrating in my pocket. Ainsley's number flashes on the screen and I pick up immediately.

"Gavin, we may have an issue." Ainsley says quickly.

"What kind of issue?" I ask as I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"I found Victoria passed out drunk in the middle of the street and Chief Grayson is in my living room, waiting for me to come back out and talk to him." Ainsley whispers, most likely to make sure that the chief doesn't hear her.

"Keep him there. Text me your address. I'll be right over." I hang up and get off of the couch. "Guys, I'm going to go get Victoria."

I grab the keys and leave the house without waiting for their response.