II: DANSE MACABRE (Pt. 2)
(This chapter is dedicated* to 50ShadesOfFandomzXD for being a fabulous friend!)
<*Dedicated at heart, since it's still not a thing on the app.>

Smiley stopped by a bowled-over chest of drawers, absorbing the train wreck of a room's details with wide eyes. Beds overturned, pale blankets pooling underneath splintered furniture and a fallen door. Twinkling puzzle pieces of broken window casting minute rainbows on the floor. Gorges in the walls, three inches deep.

"You didn't do any of this?"

Stealing a guilt-ridden glance at the dejected door, which Dark Link struggled to drag somewhere it wouldn't be a tripping hazard, Jeff and Smirky adamantly shook their heads.

"Nope. The door was definitely already busted when I got here."

(Smirky elbowed him in the rib) "We didn't touch the door. I swear it to you on my brother's meaningless life."

The not-so-good doctor, hands on hips, cocked an eyebrow. "I am your brother."

"Exactly."

"He's lying!" Jeff quickly exclaimed, "He-"

The crazy killer cried 'ow!', as Smirky jutted out his elbow again, harder. "I withdraw my statement, governor..." he groaned.

Smiley's steely composure melted. "We'll talk about dealing out punishment for the violent destruction of mansion property later. Right now?"

His eyes were drawn upwards to the ceiling, where a drab light fixture swung, torn out of its socket. Their only source of lighting was a poor one; the jack-o-lantern.

"We have to find L.J's box. Spread out and start searching!"

"You think he might be hiding in it?" Dark Link inquired hopefully, stepping away from his handiwork. (Instead of trying to move the heavy object, the shade had pulled it onto its side and stacked it alongside the wall.)

Smiley sounded determined. "Yes. If he got attacked by apparitions, he would've hid in his box. Even if he did fend them off, he might've hidden there in case they came back."

Since the jack-in-a box wasn't in its usual place on L.J's toy shelf (between the straw-stuffed ragdoll and the creepy china dolly which Eyeless Jack swore moved on its own), nor was anything else, for that matter, they split and searched sections of the room.

"What do you think did all this?" Jeff wondered.

"A demon's demons," Dark Link said darkly.

"A rabid fangirl or fanboy," Smirky said causally.

The shade and the nutcase stopped rooting through a pile of shredded curtain ribbons (with sharp teeth marks on the railing) and looked at him oddly.

"What?" the illusionist said, pointy teeth flashing in and out of view, "I was only joking. Don't you understand dry humour?'

"You could've done this," Dark Link stated, kicking the bitten curtain rail over for emphasis, "With those illusions of yours, you could've attacked him like a pack of rabid wolves."

"Ah, I'm flattered. But why would I wait until tonight to do it?"

"Is that a confession?"

"No, it's merely curious speculation. If you were right, and I did do all of..." Smirky gestured around the wrecked room, "this, then why wait until the night before Halloween?"

"Simple. Opportunity. You were wide awake, you saw Slenderman's note on the fridge during one of your visits downstairs, you took the chance and attacked. You hid behind a bunch of illusions until he went down, then swooped in and... and..."

"Eloped?" Jeff snickered. "I mean, you did say fangirl or fanboy. Opposites attract, y'know..."

An illusion appeared from the shadows behind Jeff, placed its hands around his throat, and proceeded to strangle him senseless. Dark Link instinctively swung the curtain rail at it, destroying the hologram instantly.

But by this time, Smirky had moved to a different part of the room, his movements almost indistinguishable beyond the pumpkin's fiery halo. Drawers slid open and slammed closed.

"Ooh! A yoyo! The string is perfect for wringing someone's neck!"

Fifteen minutes in, BEN – wearing clothing – joined the fun.

He contributed a great deal to the search by lifting the nearest blanket, dragging out an antique jack-in-the-box fallen on its side, and sitting right on a carving of a frowning clown face.

"You can do it, guys!" he cheered, yanking open a new Doritos packet.

The cheesy orange dust flew into his face, and drifted in the air like a kind of unwanted fungus spore. Smiley scrunched up his nose and gagged.

Mouth full of yum-yums, BEN added:

"What're we looking for?"

Although he seemed comfortable at first, it wasn't long before BEN started to wiggle around, trying to get more comfy. The raised shapes were chafing his sensitive bottom.

Finally he pulled a face and sat up, adjusting his pants.

"Useless thingamabob!"

He aimed a kick at the painted wooden box, forgetting the metal crank. The box rattled, but the elf... well...

If the window weren't already broken, it would've been now. Instead, the china doll's head shattered. BEN hopped around on one foot, wailing his discomfort for all to hear. Hurrying to his aid, Smiley pulled a roll of bandages from his pyjama pocket in a flourish.

"Tell me where it hurts!"

"It's bad, doctor!" BEN sniffed, plonking himself down back on the jack-in-a-box. He kicked off his shoe. It hit Jeff from behind. "My-My foot's broken. I think it's beyond fixing!"

Smiley knelt down and examined the little elf's foot. Medical side in full engagement; he didn't notice what the little elf was sitting on. He did, however, put the bandage away.

"There doesn't appear to be any bleeding or lacerations. Nails undamaged. Reddening around the hallux. Cause of death- er- distress appears to be a sprain to the small interphalangeal joints."

BEN burst into tears of blood.

"Please make more effort to talk like a normal psychopath." Smirky appeared behind Smiley, massaging his right ear with a look of discomfort. "There's a name for when you're the only one who understands what you're saying, and it normally comes with a straightjacket."

"Oh, sorry. He's just stubbed his big toe."

BEN cheered up and got off the box to waddle after his shoe. It currently sat next to Jeff's unconscious body, a seemingly innocent spectator to the crazy killer's daze.

Somewhere in this short span of time, Smirky reached over Smiley's shoulder and bopped the carved clown's swirly cone nose with a finger.

"Even carved into the side of a box, it's still ugly."

Smiley sucked in a sharp breath, the realisation finally dawning on him. Then, he hissed.

"Don't touch it!"

"Why? Do you think I could break it?" the illusionist immediately poked it some more, interested, until Smiley shouldered his arm.

"No. If you do that, you'll jinx it, and somehow his nose will get bent, again! And do you know who'll have to fix it when it does? Do you?"

"Yooour... poor, overworked, underpaid medical tools?"

"Me! And I don't even get paid here. If I, a surgeon of incredible skill, were working in a private hospital - I'd have enough money to retire by now."

"Then why didn't you work in a hospital instead of coming here?"

"Er... no one would hire me because of my name. Said it sounded very... serial killer-ey, and that it would hurt business," Smiley admitted, carefully setting the box upright.

"And yet, my office always had a charming plaque with 'Dr. Smirky' written on it in silver lettering. Names have nothing to do with it. No one hired you because of your history of patients complaining about missing more body parts than they bargained for, post surgery, didn't they?"

"How did you know that?"

"I expressed a desire to know my own twin brother, so I was given the privilege to have a few minutes with your file." Smirky tucked his chin mischievously, eyes going glitter glitter. "Speaking of which... is it true that you're still a vir-"

"Sorry to butt in," interrupted Dark Link. "But don't you think you should wind the box now? There's no more time to lose!"

With blush-tinged cheeks, Smiley set to work turning the old crank.

Over the past two centuries, L.J had kept it in mint condition, and it wound beautifully.

The others edged closer, eager for the clown's song to start chiming.

Maybe it took longer, because he'd fallen asleep inside? That seemed like something he would do. He was going to wake up and the tune would play, right?

Smiley continued to wind the crank, determined that something would happen if he just tried harder.

It kept turning, and the box didn't make a peep.

The jack-in-a-box stayed in stony silence. The crimson curtains had arisen, but the spotlighted stage stood bare; the Jack who lived in the box nowhere to be found.

"You're wasting your time," Smirky said.

"Just give me a minute!"

Around and around the crank turned; the monkey chased the weasel. Only, this hollow monkey never thought t'was all in fun, or stopped to pull up his sock. There came no pop!

Just the crunch of BEN loudly eating his snacks. And of the revived Jeff, who slit the bottom of the Doritos bag with a switchblade and helped himself to freebies.

Dark Link gently took hold of the not-so-good doctor's wrist.

"He's not in there, Smiley. Please. You know he's not."

"Then where is he? What happened to him?" Smiley croaked, cradling the box in his arms like a lifeline. "How could I have slept while my friend... my friend... got attacked?"

"That's a tad melodramatic, don't you think?"

"You're not helping, Smirky!" Dark Link growled

"Why would I want to do that?"

Cradling progressed to hugging the ornate jack-in-the box as Smiley allowed himself to be led downstairs and into the living room. The drought greeted him with open arms.

Jeff and BEN went around the back and returned a few minutes later, clothes damp and hair frizzed, with some cracked wooden planks and rusty nails. The best we scavenged, the duo explained, before an unsettling energy had driven them back indoors.

By the jack-o-lantern's light, the two set about remedying their dishonour over the earlier screaming match by blocking up the broken window. BEN sat back and ate while Jeff did all the hard work, bashing the nails in place with a chunk of granite.

"Why don't you go back and fetch a hammer?" questioned Smirky, who had draped himself over an armchair with no issues about watching him while upside down.

"Nah, I got this!"

Jeff rammed the rock into the side of his index finger, then yelped and dropped the heavy stone onto his foot. Smiley ended up using the bandages after all, though he wasn't as enthusiastic about it as he usually was. The not-so-good doctor finished briskly, and retreated back to a corner of the sofa. His expression turned grim when he picked up the box. He read the engraved text on the lid over and over.

(laughing jack-in-a-box)

In the meanwhile, Dark Link lit a new fire in the hearth, and returned the fireplace tools to their rightful places. Smiley swore he felt a phantom pain in his foot.

Unsure about what to do with the pumpkin, Dark Link placed it in the center of the table. Now, Smiley had something different to stare at glumly.

"L.J's missing."

"I think we've established that," the shade sighed.

"There are strange hallucinations running amok-"

"Alright, I confess!" Jeff blurted out all of a sudden, his words directed at Smirky, "I thought I saw my parents in the fog and bolted! They might still be out there!"

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him. Jeff looked as oblivious as a straight-faced maniac with a freaky smile twisting up to his roughened cheeks could be.

"Hello, what's with the fishy looks?"

"... You do realize our conversation ended five minutes ago, right?" Smirky said slowly.

"It did?" Jeff had no eyelids to blink, but if he did, he would've.

"Yeah!" BEN nodded smugly, with no idea of what he was saying or why he said it.

"Oh God." Smirky rolled onto his back and plopped a velvet cushion over his face. "Kagekao has more brains than all of you lot combined."

(He said Kagekao's name too quietly to be heard, as it would be many months before the Japanese demon made their acquaintance, but this didn't make his words less of an insult.)

"Must I be included in your count?"

"Hm? Oh, fine.You all – with a sliver of exception for Dark Link – are a bunch of idiots of the first water."

"WATER?" BEN gasped, scrambling up Smiley's leg like a cat. "Where? Where? TAKE IT AWAY FROM MEEEE- ulp!"

Smiley smacked a hand against the elf's mouth, trying to smother him before his absurd pitch claimed more casualties. Alas, through the yawning gaps in the planks, everyone witnessed a rain of broken glass thumping into the bushes.

"BEN's screaming knocked out the power grid and broke half our windows," the not-so-good doctor continued, voice detached and monotone.

"Please stop talking," Smirky pleaded through gritted teeth, "Your whining is getting on my nerves."

Smiley's chin thudded against the jack-in-a-box's lid. Hunched over, the not-so-good doctor stared forlornly into the jack-o-lantern's eyes. A syrupy drop of melted wax rolled down to the base of the porcelain candle holder.

"We're doomed."

Before the words finished passing through his downturned lips, Smirky took a long breath and kicked off the armchair.

The antique box made an indignant, terribly off-key note when it struck the ground, rolling and tumbling. Smiley's mouth opened partway between a gasp and a strangled gasp as Smirky lumbered straight onto his lap.

"What are you- why are you-"

Smirky kneed him in the gut. His back stiffened. No one came to help him; they were all watching in bemusement. The illusionist had such a malicious glint in his eye that he shrank back, only to be towed forward by a fistful of white coat.

"Because the only way to get your attention is to do something crazy," he stated simply.

They were practically nose-to-nose, identical scarlet mirror eyes reflecting off one another. BEN fished out a tiny digital camera and took dozens of pictures from various angles. One for the family album, and the rest for out-of-context blackmail.

Smirky pushed his knee a little further, invoking a gulp from Smiley.

"Now listen close, and listen hard to what I'm about to say."

"I'm all ears. Please stop squashing my intestines," the not-so-good doctor wheezed.

He tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle, but it shrivelled up and dissipated inside his throat, never to taste true freedom. Smirky stalled for a heartbeat or two, taking a morbid kind of enjoyment in watching Smiley struggle for air, then relented.

Smiley bolted upright as soon as the pressure came off, gasping. He glared in the direction of his housemates, folding an arm across his bruised stomach.

"Gracious. It warms my heart to know that, if this maniac pulled a pocket knife on me, you would've gone to such astounding lengths to stop him," he commented dryly.

Dark Link looked ashamed.

BEN had a go at Jeff for sitting on his Doritos packet and threatened to hit him with the camera. All five inches of it.

Smirky cleared his throat testily. In a snap, Smiley sharply tore his fascinated gaze from the squabbling idiots and drew his knees halfway to his chest.

"Right. Sorry. I'm listening."

Scowling, Smirky leant in. Smiley leant back. The sofa creaked.

"I hate you. Let's make that clear first: I. Hate. You."

His hand had been dangerously close to Smiley's wrist, and the artery running along inside it. When he leaned forward, Smiley realized he was holding something.

He imagined a pocket knife, cold steel inches from kissing his bare skin.

"There's nothing I'd like to do more than kill you," Smirky said softly, "If somebody beat me to it, I would send them poisoned cake and thorny roses."

Try as he might, he couldn't do so much as twitch a finger against him.

Smiley glanced desperately towards Dark Link, avoiding sight of the dreaded knife at all costs. The shade wasn't even looking his way, hands full with trying to break up the row between Jeff and BEN. In front of his eyes, it escalated into a full-on catfight, with neither of the offending parties actually daring to hit each other.

Should he scream before Smirky ended his threat by severing an artery?

"Pay attention. I haven't gotten to the good part yet."

"There's a good part?"

Smirky chuckled.

"No one is allowed to make you suffer except me. No one. And I'd do anything, even rescuing a clown whom I absolutely despise with every fibre of my being, to keep it that way."

"A-Are you... serious?"

The illusionist raised his hand from his brother's wrist and held it high. Not a knife.

Just a regular toy made out of cold plastic and string.

Smiley's mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. The yoyo, clearly taken from L.J's room, danced up and down, looped around Smirky's finger.

(perfect for wringing someone's neck)

He saw a faint outline of a devious grin on his face, one that gleefully said: You thought I was going to pull a knife on you, didn't you?

Deliberate misdirection. A scare, to ensure he ensnared his full attention.

"Let me put it this way; I know someone who can tell us what happened to him..."

The not-so-good doctor's eyes obediently followed the bouncing disk. His pupils dilated to the size of a candy bowl.

"He's a demon with far more knowledge about these apparitions than Jack, and I also know exactly how to make him give us the information we want, no soul sacrifices necessary."

His dark-ringed eyelids drooped, expression turning vacant.

"But, there's a catch- Aaaah!"

Smiley brought Smirky down with him as he keeled over in a deep, hypnotised doze. The yoyo rolled out of his grip in the ensuring struggle.

While the illusionist frantically kicked and bit and clawed and hissed, the doctor smiled sleepily and hugged him in a vice grip, declaring him to be a teddy bear called Mr. Tiddlywinks. His best friend for life.

No one came to Smirky's rescue, not even when he pulled a genuine pocket knife from his sleeve and threatened to turn Smiley into a wall decoration.

______

"I... um, found her lying around. No one wanted her. She was abandoned and lonely. I took her in and treated her like a daughter. We bonded over common grounds. Please, don't take her away!"

Crouching, Dark Link plucked the pocket knife from Smirky's hand. "Nice try, but no."

"Why?"

"You know why."

"What if I've forgotten?"

"It's a rule, in the mansion's official rulebook. 'Smirky is forbidden from touching sharp or shiny things'. Right next to the one that says 'Don't attempt to murder Doctor Smiley on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday'. Both of which, may I add, you simultaneously broke."

"Don't you feel that simply monstrous urge to be rebellious? You're already a murderer. It's not life or death. What's the harm in ignoring what a silly bit of paper tells you to do? The whole world is a mangle of anarchy, sloth and violence. Rules are meant to be broken."

"You're not getting your knife back."

"It was worth a spin, don't you think?"

"-And if you don't want Slenderman to find out about it when he gets back, you're going to keep talking about this person who knows about L.J and the apparitions. Also, I'm the only one here who knows how to wake people up from hypnosis."

"I don't give information to the enemy."

Smirky squirmed and tugged, trying to slip out from under Smiley's arm, but his efforts came to nothing. His brother simply wouldn't let go. The not-so-good doctor was much, much stronger than he made himself out to be. The illusionist gave up, and looked back helplessly at Dark Link

"I might be inclined to give a little bit of information to the enemy."

Smiley snored softly, nuzzling the crook of his shoulder, murmuring in his sleep: "Mr. Tiddlywinks, you're so waaaarm and snuggly... can I dissect you? You don't feel pain, right?"

"I'll give you whatever information you want. Please. Please. I'll scream it for the world to hear. I'll even write it in my own blood on a cat's paw. Anything."

Dark Link went from a crouch to sitting on his knees.

"Just talking would be fine."

BEN came over and sat down next to him, bringing all his cheesy odours with him. Smiley frowned and buried his face in Smirky's raven hair.

"Do something," the illusionist mouthed urgently.

His brother gave a happy sigh.

Dark Link chuckled. "I will, after you tell me what you know. That's the deal."

"... Damn you."

"Mind your language, Mr. Tiddlywinks; Momma said it was bad to swear..."