VII
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"do not stand by my grave and cry.
i am not there;
i did not die."
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When I say my heart stopped, it was more like it skipped one thousand beats. 

There was no air in my lungs; no oxygen to breathe. The pain was so consuming all I felt was a deep and hollow numbness that ate away at my limbs. I didn't dare to open my eyes, suddenly feeling like I was floating - flying. I couldn't feel anything, and my heart began to soar when I realised that this time maybe I had died.

It took what felt like an eternity to gather my thoughts and expel my pain in a shocked whimper. My hands wrapped around my body, and a burning light tried to explode through the cracks in my eyelids. My fingers touched something wet, but I didn't have time to think about what was bleeding as someone unclasped my seat belt and hauled me out of the car. My ears were ringing like a siren. I began to panic, unable to hear anything except mumbled tones as though I was submerged underwater. 

My heart raced. My lungs pressed for air. My mind was too distracted by a million different sensations to make sense of anything.

The first thing that broke through the barrier of confusion was the light. White and invasive, I sat there panting like I was breathing air for the first time. The white turned to yellow, then blue, then black. My numb limbs slowly came back to life, the ground wet beneath my bones and soaking into my sweatshirt and leggings until I was shivering.

I felt someone press their arms around my shoulder, but I was too stunned to move. It hurt. Everything hurt. Yet as my eyes began to focus, I could make sense of the scene in front of me. Silhouetted against the light stood an angelic figure, with a tall frame, lanky limbs and a pair of- wings?

What the hell?

I blinked rapidly to make sure that I was not seeing a mirage, but there they were. Albeit, with my head spinning from a suspected concussion, they were hazy, but they were there.

I closed my eyes once more, but the figure had disappeared in a flash of light. I heard a crash as another figure entered my line of vision, before the two collided. I jumped at the noise, but the light faded before the boom could echo.

Struck by a wave of dizziness, my arms fell out from below me and my head crashed against the ground. It stung a little, which was a good sign, because it meant that I could finally feel something. But that was all I could do, and with my vision swimming like someone trying to look through a waterfall, I just laid there.

I would've screamed if I could when a pair of arms picked up my frail body, my legs dangling loosely as blood streamed from a cut somewhere on my head and into my eyes and mouth. It tasted like poison. I was motionless, unaware of everything.

I didn't regain feeling until my back hit a mattress, and my eyes slid instantly shut.

Unlike most nights, I didn't dream. I was usually plagued by memories of my past: like the face of my father the last time I saw him; the undeniably petrifying feeling of being unable to breathe.

When I finally awoke, a breath of air wove its way across my body. My curled hair tangled with the breeze, and I rolled onto my side thinking that the car crash and the boy with the wings had been a horrendous dream.

"Good morning sweetheart," A voice lulled me out of my trance, and I jumped up into a seating position only to find Isarius sat on the end of my bed with a sly smile. I groaned as my head began to pound.

"Ow," I moaned and peered around the room. The grey sheets covering my body and dark interior was more than recognisable, and my heart sank when I realised I was in Zane's bed. "What the-"

"Zane, your girlfriend's awake!" Isarius cut me off and shouted down the stairs, before turning back to me with a huge smile.

I narrowed my eyes despite my skull feeling like it was going to implode. "I'm not-"

"Whatever you say," The blonde chuckled with a wink. He was undeniably attractive, even with his tousled morning hair that glinted like honey in the sunlight. His eyes were a strange mix of blue and green, but mesmerising nonetheless. "How're you feeling?"

I put a hand up to my head as though it would ease the pain, but instead it throbbed with every heartbeat. The soft material of gauze tickled my fingers, and I hissed when my finger pressed too hard on a soft spot. I was pretty banged up, that much I already knew. 

"Like I got hit by a truck," I muttered.

"Well, technically you did-"

My ears exploded as someone ran up the stairs and entered the room gracefully. "Don't lie to her, Isarius."

My breath caught in my lungs when Zane entered in all his glory, dressed from head to toe in ebony black. His dark locks were ruffled, and for the first time I saw an imperfection in his face: his eye bags. The greying circles loomed like crescent moons. From what I could tell, he hadn't slept in a while. And with his presence, plus my banging headache, I concluded that this was not in fact a very horrible dream.

Fuck.

"Lie to me about what?"

Zane sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning up against the door. He wasn't particularly muscular, but his frame was far from skinny and I blushed as an image of him shirtless raced across my mind. His pale lips twitched into a smile, and Isarius rolled his eyes. As personalities went, I was drawn to Zane's mysterious aura, but Isarius made me laugh. To be honest, I didn't know how I had ended up in the same room as both of them, and made it into Zane's bed without spending the night with him.

"What do you remember?"

"Wait, so you driving at two-hundred-fucking-miles-an-hour and crashing into a blinding light, then wings springing out your back wasn't a nightmare?" I gushed. I was beyond confused, to put it lightly. How had coming to University to get a degree and potentially a job better than waitressing landed me here?

Zane drew in a sharp breath, and Isarius stood up to pat him on the back. "Good luck explaining this one, mate."

I creased my eyebrows. "You're not going to tell me that everything I just said wasn't true?"

Silence.

"Zane, what the hell is going on?"

Isarius turned from Zane with an eerie elegance and pointed a long, bony finger in my direction. "Exactly. What the hell is going on."

My brain began to whirr, more confused than ever. I was finally about to get my answers, but for some reason I didn't want to hear them. I was stuck in my University bubble, where I socialised with my flatmates, went out and got way too drunk to remember the night, maybe bring a boy back home, and eat too many cheesy chips for my own good. I wasn't ready for the real world, nor was I ready for a new one.

"Please, can someone explain? How- how am I not dead?" I whimpered in a small voice, the pain from my aching body taking control. 

Zane took a deep breath. "Because I saved you."

"Saved me? You're the one who crashed the car!" I uttered.

Isarius waved a hand to diminish my anger and edged closer. His scent of fresh rain and deodorant was a pleasant aroma in the musky room. "It's a bit more complicated than that."

My eyes shifted from Isarius to Zane for answers.

"Something went into us. On purpose." Zane uttered.

My lip trembled. "W- why?"

"They wanted to kill me."

My heart skipped a beat, and I almost threw up on Zane's grey sheets. What was I supposed to reply to that?

Isarius noted my pale appearance and sighed. "Zane, look, you've spooked the poor girl."

"Spooked? Someone tried to kill you!" I yelled. "Please tell me this is a nightmare or something."

Isarius's smirk broadened. "Sweetie, this is so much worse than a nightmare."

I rolled my eyes at Isarius in my fear and turned to Zane, who seemed to be the more sensible out of the two. "What's going on?"

All I received was a vacant stare.

"Zane, you're not human are you?"

Zane continued to stare across the room through the flapping curtains bordering his window. It was as though, for a second, he had detached his mind from his body and completely disappeared. The sea crashed behind the house, air filled with stinging salt. The day outside had barely broken, and bird song filled the winter air. It was your typical Edinburgh day, with heavy clouds shielding the sun and a chill cold enough to freeze your veins. His dark hair was a mess, and his clothes choice of plain black tracksuit bottoms and a matching black t-shirt were questionable.

Suddenly, Zane's eyes snapped onto mine and he sprung up to throw on a coat. His pale lips were in a thin line, and his nose ring glinted silver in the shallow light. He opened his cupboard with a loud creak and threw a large hoodie at me.

I caught it in astonishment, my head thudding from the beating of my heart.

The man waved at me to follow him as he exited the room. "Come with me."

I slowly moved the duvet off my body, only to be met by an excruciating pain. My arms visibly shook as I put on the hoodie he had chucked at me, greeted by his musky smell. Was I really going to follow him when every single movement felt like my body was being torn apart?

"Zane, I-" I can't. But I was too curious.

"We have paracetamol downstairs," Zane uttered as he paused at the door, his mysterious aura luring me in. "Follow me."

With a huge sigh, I pulled myself out of bed and followed him silently, using the wall to steady myself. Isarius raised his brows as he took in my appearance - I didn't want to know what I looked like in the mirror, either.

I was almost too intrigued to notice that the clothes I was wearing were not my own as I walked down the stairs to the front entrance hall.

"Zane, these aren't my clothes." Wait did he- "Oh my God, did you change my clothes?"

Zane disappeared into a room before reappearing. "Don't worry, bambi, that was Ace. No more questions."

The boy ahead of me placed two pills in my hand and a cup of cold water. I took the medicine gratefully before we both put on our shoes and headed out of the door. I noticed that his beautiful black mercedes was no longer parked outside, and instead Zane clicked a pair of keys that corresponded to the red Ford parked on the drive.

"I'm not getting into a car with you," I said, my face turning white.

"I'll drive safe, Nadia. Last night, that was a mistake. You have to trust me." Zane opened the door on my side and helped me into the seat with a blank expression before clambering into the driver's side.

"Zane, don't you dare take my car!" Isarius ran out of the house in his iconic dressing gown, but Zane slammed the car door and ignited the engine, pulling away from the house whilst the blonde boy looked distraught. I caught him in the rear view mirror, sinking into the seat as though I didn't exist. Part of me wanted to burst out laughing, but I was too petrified to do anything other than gaze at the road ahead.

I was terrified to get into a car with the man again, but Zane's driving this time was smooth, and he made sure to follow the speed limits.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I kept my eyes on the road, watching every car pass in an abundance of grey, silver, blue. I watched the people strolling along the pavements, completely oblivious to the unusual happenings that were occurring in this world. It was strange to think that everyone was going through their own traumas, writing their own stories, and here I was sat next to someone with a heart of ice, after an attempted assassination. 

When we entered the countryside after ten minutes, I turned my attention to Zane. His form was as ominous as ever, with his beautiful brown eyes focused solely on the road. The tops of his wing tattoos peaked out from under his hoodie, the ink staining his tanned skin in an intricate sketch.

"Zane, what's going on?"

The boy's hands tightened on the wheel. "No questions."

"We were hit by a fucking car Zane!" I exclaimed, turning around sharply in my seat, my chest ebbing with agony. A flashback of my chest hitting the car ran through my mind, and I paused to gaze down at my body. Where there should've been a gaping wound, there was nothing, not even a scar.

My breath hitched, and I ran my hands through my hair. "There- there isn't a scar. I- how long was I out for?"

Zane slowed as he turned a corner down the narrow road. "Three days."

"Three days? Three whole, twenty-four hour days?"

"That's how days usually work."

I panicked again. What the hell must my friends be thinking if I hadn't come home? They would be panicking, and with no way of contacting me, I didn't want to think about how scared they were.

"Where's my phone?" I asked.

Zane shrugged his shoulders. "At mine. It's a little scratched up, though."

"How the hell are you so calm right now?"

The man took his eyes off the road for a split second and locked them with mine. My chest rose and fell with each panicked breath, but something about the calmness of his face made my breathing rate begin to decrease. He removed his hand from the wheel and placed it on mine, giving it a squeeze.

I sucked in a breath from the human contact, but he made me feel safe.

"Bambi, calm down. It'll all make sense."

"I want a joint," I groaned.

I wanted to hear more, like how everything would be ok. That this would all be over soon. But I knew that that was all I would get from Zane, so I accepted the words and focused on calming myself down.

After another ten minutes of silence, Zane turned off the country lane and pulled into a tiny gravel car park. He killed the engine with a sigh, and helped my clamber out of the car before leading me down a tiny footpath. I didn't ask any questions because I was simply speechless. This was the perfect place to kill me, and no one would ever find my body. And still, I trusted Zane. What if we had come out here so that he could kill me?

We reached the end of the footpath in minutes, and the trees once shielding us opened up into a view of the whole of Edinburgh, with a cliff just meters away from my feet, and a dilapidated green-painted bench. The city felt tiny from here, the castle rising from the ground above all the houses, casting a shadow on the fountain of dwellings. The old buildings marked the skyline yellow and grey, with the murky sea churning in the distance.

But why here? Why had Zane dragged me to the middle of nowhere to give me answers?

Zane edged towards the edge of the cliff and peered over the side.

"This place is beautiful," I uttered, taking in the fresh country air, wind blowing the locks of my hair out of my face.

The man didn't reply, instead he turned his back on me and stripped off his jumper and t-shirt, leaving his bare chest and tattoo on full show. I marvelled his incredible tattoo, and every detail that had gone into each fine black line. He turned around before I could take in every little detail, and I cast my eyes away, pretending I hadn't been staring. Which, of course, I had. Most girls in my position would've stared. He was just too fucking beautiful- too fucking perfect.

"What're you doing?" I questioned, the boy stepping closer to the edge. My eyes widened as he got closer and closer to tumbling to his death.

At first, his expression was blank, and then his lips turned in a brief smirk.

"Do you trust me?"

I blinked, then slowly nodded.

And with that, he fell backwards off the cliff and into oblivion. 

an update!!!! (after wayyyy too long) cry :(

i really, really hope you enjoyed this little chapter, and omg the next chapter we get all the answers and i might be uploading that today as well as a sorry! i really do love this book, but for some reason i'm not quite vibing with my writing so i'm trying to make it better over the next few chapters!

also the new opening credits for devil's game are above!! i hope you enjoy them <3

thank you so much for reading, lots of love,

lotte xx